A Long Affair

I like the loving wives category but it can be difficult to come up with something different. I try to explore alternate realities or situations with angst.

I do spell and grammar checks and proof read but bound to miss some. If that bothers you too much maybe think about reading something else.

Please check the tags, don't read it if it's not your thing. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy it, they are free and they are just stories.

Best Wishes, Satin

***

Life couldn't get much sweeter for me, everything was just about perfect!

My name is Dianne and I am very happily married to Phil my loving husband. We have three great kids; Lewis is 22, Kieran 20 and my daughter Kelly 18.

Our lives just seemed to go from strength to strength. We had raised our family, all three of them were at college or going soon, exciting careers awaited. Our next big life change was retirement, we were looking to do it as early as possible and with a bit of money juggling, we might even be able to leave work aged 50!

The kids had all managed some travelling, I was a bit jealous wishing I'd explored more when I was younger, every young person seemed to 'go travelling' around Asia or South America these days. But my lack of confidence and a complete lack of funds stunted that ambition at the time.

The best thing that ever happened to me was meeting Phil, we started slowly and our relationship developed. I truly loved him with all of my heart; we got married, bought a house and had kids... the whole fairy-tale.

I aimed to be a good wife, caring and attentive. Married life was great; I really enjoyed bringing up our three children. Our sex life was good, Phil was gentle and considerate and I liked that. He wasn't the biggest but I didn't mind, I didn't need to be ravished or experience a 'monster' cock; that idea just sounded painful.

We had really done well financially from early in our marriage, we both wanted to travel. But Phil had a severe phobia of flying; relaxation techniques, hypnotherapy and a multitude of other approaches failed miserably. We still travelled around the United States, Mexico and Canada and even included a few short cruises, but I couldn't jet of to all the places I had dreamed of.

Phil preferred camping and doing outdoor things anyway, I got frustrated with the situation and he half joked I could go alone.

You know what I could! I could book solo travel holidays, better still I could go with my sister. Surprisingly Phil agreed with me, I think he felt guilty that he was a barrier to my love of travel. Actually it was more than that, it was all tied into a desire to escape the industrial town we had grown up in and I think Phil recognised that in me. When younger we talked about Springsteen's 'Born to Run' being a favourite track of ours as it summed up our situation. I knew it was the same for him and that's why he liked the outdoors and mountains. In the end we had found our escape with each other.

Phil actually thought it was a good idea; we could have our main holiday as a couple, and maybe a week on our own holidays. I knew Phil would use the time to go climbing and doing the more extreme outdoor things I couldn't manage.

Unfortunately my sister was joined at the hip to her new man and wouldn't go on holiday with me. I decided to be brave and book onto a solo travellers' holiday. I chose Hawaii; it was top of a long list of places I was desperate to visit.

It was much easier than I thought, everything was laid on including excursions and the group of people travelling were all lovely. It was a really good mix of ages and men and women, most of them were single.

I got on particularly well with Harry, he was quite good looking and maybe a couple of years younger than me, he was recovering from a recent breakup. He was great company and we gravitated toward each other, I was assuring him that he'd meet the right girl eventually, as friends we enjoyed meals together and a lot of laughs.

We talked for hours about potential trips and adventures. He was like me, keen to explore and determined to do it even if it meant travelling alone, then he suggested that we could travel together. I laughed at first, but when I thought about it, it seemed like a really good solution.

We were just friends but grew close quickly. Our last night was very emotional, our first kiss was to say goodbye and I could barely tear myself away from him.

I didn't tell Phil about Harry, but I was enthusiastic about my trip, all the things I had seen and the great group of solo travellers I had met. I conformed the travel company were great and it felt really safe.

It sounded like Phil had a fairly wild time climbing in the valleys surrounding Yosemite. We both accepted the fact that we wanted different things at times, although we had great holidays together as well.

***

I thought about Harry a lot, our previous travel team had set up a group chat where we shared photos and ideas about further trips. Many didn't appeal but when Harry expressed an interest in a 10 day trip to the UK, I put my name down.

The holiday was amazing, we did the sight-seeing in London and toured the South West coast, the scenery and history were spectacular. Harry and I picked up our friendship where we had left off, even though it had been a year.

I hadn't planned it, but I ended up sleeping with him in London. We had a great night at the theatre and then went for drinks. I was a bit tipsy and he was just so charming I didn't resist. He was actually a lot like Phil, a considerate and caring lover, but there was also an illicit excitement and he made it clear how much he wanted me. It felt like I had been ravished in a good way. Despite my guilt the next morning, we spent every night of the holiday together. Strangely our parting was much easier this time around, I was anxious to get back to my husband.

I was certain Phil would see a difference in me or I'd let something slip, but we were exactly the same. I really had missed him and was desperate to reconnect. Our welcome home sex was thrilling. I rode Phil for all my worth before he rolled me over and gave me a good seeing. My relief that we were still good was palpable.

***

So that was me, a suburban wife, having an affair with a handsome man. I knew it couldn't last... except it did; my affair has lasted over 25 years so far!

I had a main vacation with Phil and a second shorter trip, usually a week with Harry. We booked it all through the solo travel group. I am sure the company knew we were getting together, but no one was interested as lone as we were buying trips. Harry had relationships with other women but never married.

He did ask early on if I'd ever leave Phil but that was never on the cards. I explained I couldn't do that, Phil needed me, he was a decent man and we were still in love. He was a great husband and we were planning a family.

When the kids came along, my trips were seen as a well-earned break from motherhood. Once we had a family, Phil used the time to take trips away with the kids introducing them to the outdoors, the other great love of his life. They all to took to it like 'ducks to water', and it was something they bonded over. We still had great family holidays including Disney trips and touring all over the US usually in hired RV's.

I was now nearing 50. I had travelled the America's with my husband and the world with my lover, returning each time to continue my life with my husband as though nothing ever happened.

I actually think it made me a better wife, time apart helped us realise what we had in each other. Oh I knew it was wrong, but as a result I poured more love and effort into my marriage. I was so proud about how Phil treated me and how he would describe me to friends. I was the same often describing him as the best husband in the world.

Harry asked me several times over the years to leave Phil but I refused. He thought that might change once the kids were grown but I really did love Phil. My relationship with Harry wasn't just about sex, when together we were very like a married couple. A couple who were friends and lovers, as I was with Phil. In my mind Harry was my holiday husband.

I did think about Phil finding out or challenging me, but it never happened. If he discovered my other relationship, I was certain that we'd get over it. After all I had always chosen him and returned, my holiday trysts were far apart and so infrequent it wasn't really an affair! Then there were the family and financial ties, we had a great life together, not something to give up easily. The worst case scenario was us splitting up, then I could try living with Harry. Such was my contempt and over confidence built up over the years.

***

We were planning to retire early, with our mortgage finally paid off, we were free and clear. Phil couldn't wait to retire, he had worked so hard over the years to support us and it was finally time for some well earned pay off.

Harry was delighted to hear I was planning to retire early, he thought it was a great opportunity to travel more together and began planning a long tour through Asia. It was the trip I'd have wanted to do in my youth. I really wanted to go, but two months was pushing it, I told Harry to reduce it and I'd think about it.

I seriously considered telling Phil about going with Harry. I could explain it was my dream trip and another solo traveller had the same idea. If he asked about Harry I'd admit we had a friends relationship. If he was OK with it, then I could do more travelling and see the places I'd dreamed about. Thankfully I stopped myself; it would just drag up a lot of questions about my previous trips and relationship with Harry.

I told Phil that I wanted to do a big holiday as part of our retirement. He thought we could tour the US parks in a motorhome, taking our time and not being on the clock. I agreed to that but said that I wanted to do an overseas trip as well. I excitedly told him about the four week trip and all the different countries included, and that I'd get to see, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia and Cambodia.

"I don't know Dianne that's a long trip, you'll be away ages; I thought we were doing this together!"

"I'll be back in no time at all; then we can do your parks trip in our own time."

He didn't reply which was a little strange, "I am sorry Phil, I just feel this is something I need to do, this trip has been my dream for years."

He didn't object further so I took that as agreement. Although initially disappointed he seemed to recover and I made an effort in planning our big holiday together.

***

I left for my overseas trip feeling excited. It started fantastically well, I met up with Harry and he wasted no time in bedding me. The first days were great, Harry seemed more demanding like he was trying to claim me. I wasn't sure about that but the sex was full of passion. Maybe it was the longer holiday but it felt like we were more of a couple; it was the first time we had booked a joint room.

I had trouble with my phone and couldn't seem to contact Phil after the first few days, at least he never replied and that made me anxious. I couldn't get an answer from the kids either; I thought it was the sim cards playing up as we moved countries.

The sex passed the thrilling recoupling stage and became well... normal, but the destinations were awe inspiring. I did find myself missing Phil, I had never been out of touch with him for so long. The rest of the trip was wonderful, I loved experiencing all of the destinations and Harry was good company throughout.

I returned home to an empty house, Phil wasn't there! He'd usually pick me up from the airport but there was still no response so I'd taken a taxi.

I found the note such as it was in the kitchen, "Dianne, I decided to go on holiday on my own, intend to be away for a while, see you when I get back. Phil."

What the actual fuck!!?

How could he do that, just exclude me from our holiday? I knew he wasn't happy with me going away but this was a complete over reaction. And not as much as a goodbye or 'I love you'. This was so out of character from him, I was beginning to get worried but there was nothing suggesting he knew about me and Harry!

I thought about trying to find him but he could be anywhere, it was infuriating!

His closest friends denied he'd been in touch. My son Lewis wasn't answering his phone but I finally got through to Kieran, he confirmed his dad was safe and Lewis was with him. He was enjoying his trip but he wasn't sure exactly where they were now. Then he confirmed he'd been with Phil for the last two weeks as they worked their way through Zion, Bryce Canyon and Joshua Tree parks. Damn they were all places I wanted to see again. Then Kieran made it worse by saying he and Phil had hiked 'Angel's Landing' and 'The Narrows', we'd talked about doing them together in retirement. Our conversation was polite, but functional; he never asked about my vacation. I kept asking if Phil was ok, but couldn't ask Kieran directly if his father knew about my affair. It sounded like Phil could be working his way up the West Coast but I was guessing. Something must have changed... now I was worried!

At least there was money in the bank, although the balance was very much reduced. That sent me apoplectic; he had no right to spend our money unilaterally!

He finally returned without warning, two months after he left and six weeks after I had returned from holiday. I almost didn't recognise the man who got out of the RV, his hair had grown out and he had a natural outdoor tan.

I exploded with anger, screaming expletives and hurling abuse his way!

He looked totally unbothered which made me rage even more; he waited for me to shout myself out which just added to my fury. My last comment was about how he dare leave me all alone!?

"You mean like you did to me?"

"That was different, my trip was agreed beforehand!"

Phil seemed to hesitate before he spoke the words that destroyed my life, "And how was Harry?"

I almost choked spluttering that I had no idea what he was talking about. I kept going until I saw the look in his eyes and how disappointed they were in me.

He had Harry's name so must know everything! My world was crumbling before me, I started crying hysterically. Everything was perfect and now it was ruined, it was so frustrating... I didn't deserve this!

Phil didn't hug or comfort me. Finally I got a grip on myself; I had to tough this out and convince Phil that nothing had changed.

"Yes Harry was there on the trip."

"And you had sex with him?"

"I did, but it's not as bad as your imagining, we have a vacation friendship and the sex is just a small part of it."

"Not for me it's not, but interesting that it's a relationship and not 'just sex'. How long?"

Damn I'd made things worse by trying to downplay the sex! Did he know how long it was already, I couldn't get caught in another lie, "It's been a long time Phil but it has never impacted us, I never wanted to hurt you."

"So what, did you think you deserved a treat, a longer holiday with your lover?"

"It was my dream holiday, I want to travel and explore and I like doing that with Harry. It's just a brief break from my normal life. I've always come back to you, energised and eager to reconnect."

"Yeah I thought you were just happy to see me and your family again, how idiotic am I?"

"You're not an idiot Phil, I kept it from you but nothing needs to change; we have a great life together, we've been happy all these years."

At this point I must have lost my mind, talk about not reading a room, "Why can't we just continue as we are now... it works!"

"WHAT?! Keep sharing you, are you deluded?"

"You have been sharing me for years now, sorry but it's the truth. How did you find out anyway?"

He ignored that question, I could see him thinking, praying he didn't ask for details.

"So what is it like with him, what does he give you that I don't."

"I'd rather not go into it Phil, it will only hurt you more."

"Fuck it's better then, he gives you something I can't!"

"Nooo it isn't like that, he is a lot like you. We wouldn't see each other for a year, so it was intense when we did get together; similar to when I came home to you from a trip."

I saw Phil actually whince! Shit I just couldn't help saying the wrong thing, I needed to calm down.

"He isn't bigger or better or anything like that!"

"So why do it and why keep on for so long?"

"We grew close on the first few trips and we just fell into it, it never seemed to hurt anything, so I kept on with it. It wasn't like an affair... I hardly ever saw him and I always happy to came home to you."

"Oh my God you don't see it as wrong do you? You haven't even apologised. You don't just fall into it, you choose and if it's not wrong why didn't you mention it."

"No well, it never harmed us; it was just fun and an enjoyable experience... a break and moment out of time! I wasn't sure you'd understand... and it looks like I was right but I am sorry I've hurt you Phil."

"Let's not forget it must be close to 25 years of moments, a week each time, sometimes longer and then there were those extra weekends. By my reckoning that's over 200 nights off from our marriage and I doubt you limited yourself to just once each time. I can only guess at how many times you've been unfaithful."

"That makes it sound far worse than it is Phil, it wasn't that much... we didn't always do it."

"Is he the only one?"

"WHAT!! YES of course, I'm not a..."

He interrupted me, "Are the kids mine?"

"Jesus Phil of course! We always used protection; none of them were born nine months after our trips anyway."

"How do I know you didn't see him at other times, maybe if he happened to be travelling locally?"

"It wasn't like that, I wasn't in regular contact with him!"

I was getting dizzy with the staccato questioning and accusations but they didn't stop, "Why did you never leave me?"

"Because I love you, honestly that never crossed my mind! You did nothing wrong, we work as a couple and are happy and you were always my number one priority. You couldn't travel, so I did that with Harry. He wanted me to leave you, but you didn't deserve that."

"Do you love him?"

"No, I have feelings for him but I don't love him like I do you."

"Jesus imagine what harm you could do if you didn't love me."

With that Phil stood up and left without a further word.

***

I still had no idea how he found out, which was both worrying and frustrating. It dawned on me I had never apologised properly; I'd even suggested continuing with Harry, it hadn't caused us a problem after all! I wasn't sure Phil would accept that but I was certain he would forgive me; he had too much to lose if we split up.

I called Harry for the first time ever and told him Phil knew everything. He immediately suggested coming to see me. I let him think us being together might be an option, if the worst happened I had Harry to fall back on.

"I want to save my marriage Harry but if there is no chance of that then maybe we could be together."

"He should let you have this and forgive you, it's your body and dream trip, we talked about it often enough."

"He means a lot to me Harry and I've hurt him badly."

"Yeah I get it and I wouldn't want to be in his shoes, just remember I am always here for you."

***

Phil returned but barely acknowledged me and went to sleep in the spare room. I thought we both needed the time to calm down and hopefully get some sleep.

The next morning I made his breakfast, he accepted it with little more than a nod.

"Phil I want to apologise properly, I am sorry about everything with Harry, it was wrong and totally unfair to you."

He just looked at me without speaking, so I continued.