An Affair Ch 6 Holly's Perspective

I'm getting used to writing these memories. I thoroughly enjoy remembering and have learned that far from the early reflections where I thought the details were boring to the reader, I have learned that it is the detail that brings it alive. I've tried hard to bring the detail, so my apologies to those who read and snooze.

For several months I felt as if I had gone down a rabbit hole and would net emerge without damage, or maybe not emerge at all. I tried hard to forget. I certainly didn't want to go back to my desperate shyness about my body. That was a form of hell, and almost an illness. However I was gradually beginning to avoid mirrors when naked and certainly was never naked when my husband could see me, although I was now enjoying showing a little cleavage on the right occasion. That necessitated a push-up bra, and I certainly enjoyed my shopping for underwear. Bizarrely I liked shopping and trying on sexy clothes, including underwear, but never looked in the matter of the changing room. I would look down, and if it felt comfortable and fitted well, that was enough for me.

As the year progressed, the forgetting about the experiences of the spa, the beach, and my outrageous behaviour began to be easier. Sometimes I even managed a subtle smile when my memory was triggered in some way; even the word "spa" or "beach" made me picture Will, and my heart raced for a while, but in a good way.

I was sure that part of me was now lost, and must remain so. I was now a year older, along with my body, and I convinced myself that Will would no longer be interested in me. Much as I had been captivated by that part of my life that involved Will and others, I felt I had turned that page onto, well, middle age.

It was June the following year when I found myself alone for two weeks. Lads will play their golf. Work was quiet. The sun was warm. The combination was enough.

Only two days in, and I was standing in front of my full length mirror. Naked.

Were my breasts still attractive? I certainly hadn't put on weight, but was my bottom still rounded? I turned to try to see. My tummy was still flat. I had looked after myself as much as I could, I felt. I was still a little angular size 8. At this point, I had no idea where my inspection was leading, and I naively thought I was just giving myself a healthy once-over.

At this point in my writing I could have just told you that I missed Will and decided to contact him for old times sake. But I promised Will that I would be honest in my recollections of events. So this is what happened.

That night my mind wandered. I lay in my pyjamas in my bed and thought back to where it all started. It wasn't the sex with lovely Will. That was great, fulfilling sex. Will was understanding and helpful to me, but it was my journey. I mused a little about the beach, and my first experience of showing my breasts in public, and then the dunes and the two watchers. Watching me. I remembered lying, hot, bare breasted, as one of the men moved a couple of metres from the foot of my towel, and stared. At me.

I stood and moved my mirror to the foot of my bed, and laid back on my elbows, looking at my reflection. As the man might have seen me. I sat up, and took off my top, exposing my breasts to the mirror and my own gaze. I imagined him watching, and beginning to gently rub and pull on his dick. I remembered Will telling me to take off my bikini bottoms. Without taking my eyes off the mirror, I hooked my thumbs into the elastic of my shorts and pushed them down, over my hips, knees and feet, and threw them on the floor. I knelt back and looked as the man looked, through the mirror. I could feel that I was getting wet, then and now. I lifted my knees, just as I had done that day, and then opened my legs to the reflection. To him. As my knees parted, the reflection of my pussy was revealed. This is what he would have seen. Except then I was closely trimmed. As my knees parted that warm afternoon on the beach, I saw his hand movements on his stiff dick so clearly. He was shaved and pink.

I opened my legs completely and in the mirror, I saw my slit open, slowly peeling from its adherences, my pinkness giving way to scarlet. I watched as he watched. I watched his hand moving more purposefully. As I looked in the mirror I had a peculiar realisation that the man would not have been able to see my anus, as my bottom cheeks squeezed tightly together. Why that crossed my mind I have no idea.

Until this moment it had been a replay, with me as the actor and also the audience. On that day on the beach, Will had thrown in the towel before I went too far. Now he was not there to stop me. My fingers reached down and slid either side of my somewhat hairy outer lips and squeezed them together, then let them go just for the feeling of them peeling opening naturally. And watching.

I thought back to the grubby spa steam room, where I similarly used my fingers in front of a stranger. Bucked my hips and orgasmed as he watched.

This is how I came to the resolve to text Will. I did it there and then. Just before I went to the bathroom to pay some attention to my personal grooming, which I had just seen was a little behind schedule. I had a bush!

We resolved to meet for a coffee in two days time in a very public cafe. The excitement began to build.

In the bathroom I opened the case of my trimmer and was surprised to find that it was still charged. In front of the mirror I started on the edge of my triangle and quickly trimmed it to about half a cm, so it looked much neater and just allowed the top of my cleft to be visible. Sitting back on the bathroom chair, I opened my legs to the mirror and again saw just how much this hair had grown. Carefully I trimmed around my vulva, again to about half a cm, feeling the tickling of the buzzy trimmer as it tripped the nerves in the hair follicles. I scrooched closer to the mirror to make sure that I hadn't missed any of the longer hair, reaching down and pulling any I thought might be too long and then carefully cutting. I wasn't turned on by this at all; it was much more a job to do. I was turned on by the thought of somebody seeing it looking very neat and cared-for. I realised that I would have liked somebody to watch me trimming and to see the gradual reveal. I'd have loved it. But would never do it.

As I trimmed I actually looked closely at my anus for the first time. Will had seen it pretty close up. My skin is very pale but my anus was lightly brown, almost like a tan around it. I thought it looked small and a little fascinating. However I did notice that it had tiny black hairs around it and I didn't like them at all. I reached for the shaving foam and coated it in one big blob, rubbing it in for a few seconds before angling my wet razor across the opening for a few strokes until my fingers felt it to be smooth and no amount of pinching found any hair. Better.

My vulva was also covered in foam and I got a little carried away. From my anus, I worked the razor up towards my vaginal lips to make sure that my pubic hair was only where it should be. Funny concept I know. But I didn't stop accurately and the very bottom of my slit got shaved smooth. Easy. I thought back to the spa where I saw women and men completely shaved and as I tidied around my lips with the razor, I gradually and carefully completed the job until the lips were smooth. My fingers had to hold the lips carefully as any woman who has attempted this would know, as any stray of rougher patches would render the whole process very counter productive and unattractive. It took about half an hour before only my mound had a covering. I trimmed and smoothed until a neat landing strip was all that was left, but then that went too. Utterly smooth. I loved it. I coated it with baby oil and felt it. I showered using the hand-held and it felt fresh and new. Why had I not done this before? After all, it was just for me, wasn't it? Nobody would see it, would they?

I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my whole naked body. Small breasts, flat stomach, and no pubic hair. I wondered how often I would have to carry out this process to keep me smooth, and resolved, for now, to do whatever it took.

The next day I was still reeling at the feeling. Each time I dressed or showered, I couldn't resist looking or feeling. I even shaved again even though there was no sign of an regrowth in one day.

Seeing Will certainly made my heart skip and it didn't take me long to invite him to spend some time with me. I was overjoyed and relieved when he readily agreed, and then overwhelmed when the spa was agreed as a venue. I would have liked the beach too.

I prepared my little bag a few days ahead. The bullet toy, baby oil and a last addition, my eye mask that I occasionally used for sleeping. I knew it had another purpose.

A week or so later, we were handing over our money and there we were, in the changing room. We had walked by the pool and it was busy with naked people, and most of the loungers were occupied. Busy.

There was a man in the changing room as we arrived. He was tall and shiny smooth after a shower or the pool, and had blue towel round his waist as he fiddled in his locker. He turned to watch us come in the sat on the bench looking at me, expectant.

I felt self conscious enough to sit on the bench opposite and wait, toughing it out. There was no way I was ready to undress in front of him. Somehow I knew he would see me naked soon but undressing for him felt too much too early. Too intimate.

He got the message and left, and I quickly undressed with my back to Will, quickly losing my red lace underwear and putting on my short silk robe in a flash. As I turned, grabbing my little bag of accessories, I saw Will standing in his towel, watching me. He looked every bit as good as I remembered. Tanned and tight. The bugger. Will put his phone into my bag and as he did so, I wondered if he still had the photos from a year ago, that I still hadn't seen.

We wandered into the kitchen shack and polled a bottle of wine in the fridge. Another couple were in drinking tea and chatting in their towels before the changing room man came in, again wet and wrapped. He stood looking at me as discretely as he could in a small space and sipped a glass of water.

Will and I wandered outside and found two loungers. Will pulled them together and we lay on our towels, me in my robe, Will naked and already glistening. He looked intently at me before casting his eyeline to my robe and nodding, indicating that I should be naked by now.

I couldn't. Not then. I was suddenly self conscious and very aware of my newly revealed pussy. Jesus, what had I done? I could see maybe 10 women around the pool who were all shaved but I kind of assumed that their pussies had to look better than mine. They were tanned and confident, and I was the opposite.

Will finally sensed my reluctance and offered some private time in one of the rooms, and I readily agreed. As we sat relaxing on the bed, with Will more relaxed than me, he asked me what was going on. My explanation of a bout of shyness didn't seem to worry him but he talked me down and I finally agreed that it was time to reassure myself about my body.

He opened my bag and emptied the contents on the bed. He smiled at the mask/blindfold and asked me what it was for. I had to tell him the truth. It might help me to be naked if I couldn't see who was watching. I had enjoyed others seeing me a year ago, but I didn't feel completely ready to show my newly bare self. All the time I was getting wetter and wetter, as I knew we were going to push my boundaries.

"I'd like to wear the blindfold now, and maybe you could tie my hands?" I actually said that and fingered the belt on my robe. "And maybe spank me a little? I liked that."

Will took the blindfold and carefully slipped it over my head and softly made sure it covered my eyes completely. I sat back comfortably waiting for Will to touch me, maybe a kiss?

I was a little disappointed when Will said he was going for wine, and I was to stay where I was. I fretted for two minutes as I knew the door must be unlocked and anybody could have come it to find me sitting blindfolded, and then lock the door behind them, but Will was soon back. He brought the plastic cup to my lips and I sipped the cold wine. My senses were heightened and the wine tasted and smelled delicious.

Will took my hand and gently led me to stand by the bed. Naked under the robe, blindfolded and waiting for Will to touch me. My nipples ached already and my inner thighs were becoming wet.

Will kissed me gently, delicately. My tongue sought his but he resisted, leaving me feeling a little breathless. His hands rested on me, holding me at arms length by the shoulders. He lifted his hands away and found my wrists. He had moved behind me. He used one arm to slip under my arms and held them firmly, keeping his body away from by back. The front of my body ached for touch now.

I have no idea how I coped with what happened at that moment. I felt Will's mouth on mine. His mouth. His tongue. His hand on my face holding my mouth to his. It wasn't Will behind me. My arms were being held by someone else. No. I wasn't ready. I must have recoiled a little but where could I go, not backwards or forwards.

"Trust me." Will's voice was reassuring and suddenly I felt safe. Well, safer.

I agreed. I gave him the permission he needed.

When his hands began to torment my nipples through the robe. I thought I would faint. My knees quite literally buckled a little. His two hands were on my breasts, so I knew the person behind me was keeping his hands to himself. Or herself. I felt hands on my waist. Two. Will. My belt was gently loosened.My heart was pounding and fainting seemed a genuine possibility. Again two hands on my shoulders, slipping my robe symmetrically over my upper arms and to my breasts. My nipples felt the graze of the robe as they were revealed. The person behind me pulled my arms in tighter, pushing my breasts out more. The tightness of the grip wasn't uncomfortable, but it was strong enough to make me assume at that moment that the arm probably belonged to a man. A few seconds later, as Will ran his nails over my nipples, the person behind moved a little into my back, so for the first time I felt another body against me; a towel tickling the back of my calves. I instinctively pushed my bottom back and felt the contours of maleness against the top of my bottom. Firm. He was tall. And no tummy pressing against my back. Slim.

Will and I kissed more. He was pushing me back with his hands and mouth, then I felt him move away a little. I felt my arms being released, but I kept them behind me. I felt the man behind me move his arms around my shoulders toward my front, and then.... I felt his hands moving below my breasts, cupping and lifting them as his fingers pinched and rolled my hard nipples. I imagined Will, watching this man's hands on me, and hearing my breathing become shorter. As my breasts became impossibly sensitive under the strange hands, I felt I fingernail on my tummy and it began to trace downwards, opening the belt and allowing my robe to part. The finger slowly made its way to my smooth mound. I wanted my blindfold off so that I could see Will's reaction to the feel and look.

The man behind me took his hands from me and backed away. I heard the door open then close. Here's the thing. I was disappointed. Not cross, or even frustrated, but disappointed.

Will took off my blindfold and left me blinking in the light. I looked at the door and then to Will, who was trying to gauge my reaction to the events. My disappointment evaporated as I released Will's towel and let it fall past his perpendicular dick. I turned, and crawled on all fours across the red sheets of the bed, and there I stayed, inviting him with a glance behind. However he turned me, and as I faced him on my knees, he moved his head between my thighs and used his hands to bring me down onto his mouth. He licked, lapped, circled and entered with his tongue. When I could no longer allow the wanderings, I pushed and angled so my clitoris almost went directly into his mouth. He took his lead from me and sucked hard as I pulled even harder on my own nipples. Where was a mirror when you needed one? I came on his face, a clenching orgasm that just kept going, contracting over and over again as he watched my shaved pussy perform.

I let the orgasm abate, then resumed my position on all fours, wanting his dick inside immediately. Will positioned himself behind me on his knees and I heard the camera shutter click. Mmmmm. I reached back and held my bottom cheeks slightly open; not wide but obviously pulled apart, to reveal all my shaving handiwork and hoping Will liked the view. Another click.

Will pressed his shaft between my cheeks and began to rub it back and forth across my anus and I felt his balls pressing rhythmically against my pussy. I felt Will tense, then push the beautiful head of his dick against my open vulva. As he broke through the muscles of my opening, head just inside I felt and heard him come, hot and full, and then pushing quickly in all the way and out, as he slapped my bottom cheeks. It was divine and I was lost in the moment. We rolled onto our sides, gasping for breath.

Our gentleman accessory wasn't mentioned.

We were excited as well as fulfilled, and we grabbed our wine and went outside to the sunshine and warmth. A couple of dozen people lay on the loungers, with a significant proportion watching us approach and lay back on our towels. Will's flaccid dick lolled onto his thigh, still slightly sporting a tiny bead of his juices on his opening. I lay in my robe for a few minutes until I felt ridiculous, and then I was naked and white, with my mound the whitest thing since white was first invented.

In the pool, we hugged, and like some others, touched and kissed. Will pushed his dick inside me in the warm water, and suddenly it felt wonderful, but not really rude? I guess I was now used to this very interesting environment. We bobbed around and loved it, with us both looking down at my puffed nipples and white mound.

A visit to the dungeon had to happen and I couldn't wait. It was looking busy from the loungers lots of people seemed to be coming and going on the walkway, so eventually I put on my robe and we joined them. In the dimly lit space there were plenty of people of both sexes wandering, stopping, looking into rooms. We looked and saw into three rooms as I recall. In the first two there were couples making love, and at various stages of doing so. Not beautiful people, but doing something beautiful nonetheless. I loved it. In each room there were onlookers by the bed, all in their towels. The doors were open so I guessed the couples were encouraging people to watch. Some of the men had their dicks in their hands, pointing at the action. In the third room there was a woman lying on the bed, her legs wide open and a man lay between her thighs licking her enthusiastically. Another man was kissing her nipples. He was naked and occasionally lifted his mouth from her and rubbed his dick on her breasts. I watched pretty intently I think, quite close to the bed, and Will stood close behind me, his arms around my waist. I remember feeling his dick against my back and being unable to resist putting my hand inside his towel and taking his hardness out into the public gaze. My hand stayed wrapped around it and I heard him murmur his approval a couple of times as he moved gently back and forth. Some of the watchers, men and women turned to watch us. I didn't care, as I was too fixated on what was happening on the bed.

Will eventually put his dick back in the towel and I took that as a signal that we should move on. I wondered why as I certainly wasn't bored and he was having his dick rubbed too. But we did move, and Will said he was looking for a place to lay down. I glanced at the red leather bench as we walked by, and remembered the pictures Will took. I resolved to ask him later if he still had them. Will opened a large cage like room, with cell-like bars instead of walls, and a floor that was one large bed. He closed the door behind us and we sat against the far wall watching people come and go, so pausing to look at us, then moving on the find something more to see.