Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Just Guess

(Note to readers:The main characters are a young F+M cis-het married couple, in modern-day America. Their sex acts together would be considered vanilla. But the way they see themselves, and how they navigate their relationship, might seem kinda out-there. All characters are at least 18 years old. Most of the tags refer to what's actually depicted in the story. The 'GUESS' tags do something else. Confused? No more than I am. Enjoy!)

***

It started soon after the wedding. The first time one of them was about to leave town on a work trip.

Daniel was in his traveling suit, checking his phone. Janine, watching him, wore clothes for staying at home. The newlyweds stood in the living room, together yet apart.

She saw him as focused. In control. Unaware of his wife.

It was a moment when Janine feared she could lose him.

This suit wasn't one of his best, but to Janine it showed his positives, the lean body lines. She thought,Other women might see that, and take a second look.

She felt on her skin, the touch of the clothes she had thrown on that morning, for a Sunday at home. They made her feel shabby. She wondered,Could the man in the suit trade up from me?

She said, "I need to know that you'll come back."

He looked at her with a confused frown. "Of course I'll come back!"

"Come back,and stay."

Daniel's face cleared. Janine hoped her words got through to him. To stir a memory of a moment they'd shared, months earlier.

He put his hands on her shoulders. "I'll come back, to stay. With you."

She nodded, looking down, lips tight. Then she looked up, to his face, and said, "Have a good trip."

***

He returned home three days later. She was still at her office. He changed into some around-the-house clothes of his own, and waited for her.

She breezed in, light blue suit smooth, black hair neatly clipped back. Dan thought,It's as if work didn't stress her at all.

He stood, hands spread, and smiled. "Promise kept."

She was too embarrassed to smile back. "That was just a momentary freakout. Please forget it." She set her briefcase on a chair.

He said, "Okay," but thought,I can't, and won't.He had believed that he knew plenty about Janine the girlfriend, but had been forced to learn about Janine the wife.

She stepped up close enough to give him a light hug and a quick, lips-only kiss. He accepted them and returned in kind, knowing her dislike of close contact while she was in makeup.

She said, "Your texts helped," referring to their good-night exchanges while he was gone.

"Let's make that our standard practice," he said, looking ahead to her upcoming trip.

"Yeah," she said, turning away. "Are you unpacked?"

He nodded, and smirked. "It's as if I never left."

She glared, but said nothing. He wondered,Did she miss me THAT much? Physically?

He liked the idea of making up for lost time, tonight.

Then, remembering their most important talk, months ago, he suspected that this wasn't the main thing she had lacked.

***

Once they finished their meal-plan dinner and cleared up the kitchen, he said, "Do we need to talk some more?"

She scowled. "Do you have something to talkabout?"

He got the drift, and snapped back. "I went away, I worked, I came home, that's it! If you worried that I was doingsomething else,I'd like to ease your mind!"

She held up a hand to calm things down. "It was the first time, okay? It'll be easier once I get used to it."

"It's not like I want to be away from you!" he said, not calmed. "I'm just like you, that way."

She gave him a tiny smile. "Yeah. You are."

***

It was eight months earlier. Long after their first dating-app contact, after their first several dates, even after their first few times in bed. Those had worked out well, in ways that they hadn't with other people. They wondered why.

They agreed that they needed to talk about this. In some neutral setting.

He didn't like coffee that was prettied up by baristas. She avoided ice cream and other empty-calorie treats. They agreed to meet at a diner. They justified their use of a booth by ordering a patty melt and a salad. They ate practically nothing.

She made the first move. "I'll tell you some things about me, if you'll do the same."

"Yeah, agreed," he said, a bit off guard. "I'll do that."

"I found out a while ago," she said, "that there's a word for the way I am. It's 'aromantic.'"

He frowned, which boosted his usually intense look. "I think you smell fine."

"No, a-ro-MAN-tic, with an 'n.' It means I don't, um, feel romantic love."

He nodded. "I think a lot of people lie, when they talk about love. They want to believe in it, or say they do, to get between someone's legs."

Her pulse quickened. She thought this might be true for him too, but didn't want to rely on hope. "Dan, have you ever been--" She made finger-quotes. "--in love?"

He took a moment, while looking closely at her. "I want to keep spending time with you."

She couldn't help smiling, but said, "That's the answer to a different question."

Since he had first met her, he had stayed within the standard behavior on dating. Now, for her sake, he leapt beyond it. "No, Jan, I've never been--" He returned the finger-quotes. "--in love. I hope that's not a problem for you."

"Maybe not, but there's another thing," she said quickly. "I may never fall in love, but I hate being alone. It tears me up, thinking I might be alone forever. I want somebody in my life, somebody who will be there. The problem is, if a man can only do that by being in love with me, I wouldn't know how to love him in return." She stopped, took a quick breath, and said, "Daniel, I don't love you. I probably never will. But I think you could be my somebody. Is...that okay?"

In that moment, she felt like she had stepped off a cliff.Have I driven him away?she fretted. Was this my last chance to escape being alone?

He said nothing, maybe confused. He picked up a half of the patty melt, then set it down.

He faced her, feeling both angry and fearful. "I hate being alone too. But I can never keep anyone else interested. I'm just being me, being honest, with women. And I get dumped for being--" He finger-quoted. "--'emotionally unavailable.' So off they go, and get swooped up by men who pretend to love them!"

Janine took a few breaths, gazing at him.

She reached to grip his hand.

She said, "I want to keep spending time with you."

Six months later, they married.

***

In the aftermath of his first work trip as a husband, they went from the kitchen to the living room, and sat in chairs a few feet apart.

She said, "I'll be going to one of my usual trade shows."

"Yeah."

"We've agreed not to discuss our sex lives before we met."

"We have. Do I have to be the one to say this out loud?"

She returned, "You're the one who said we should talk some more."

"Iasked,I didn't..." He stopped, took a breath. "Okay. What do you think of sex with other people, when on a work trip?"

She tried for a casual expression, though she did it while turned away slightly. She didn't think she could look straight at him.

"If you want some action, go ahead, but I don't want to know about it."

His look was directly at her. "So, are you suggesting 'don't ask, don't tell?'"

She was surprised to be reminded that this was a common thing. Or at least, people referred to it. Whether they practiced it was another matter.

This made her chuckle.Of course,she thought.If there's no asking or telling, you wouldn't know if anything happened.

Daniel saw her look as unstressed, despite the touchiness of the subject. "I could see this applying for both of us," he said. "If that's what you want to do. Um, try."

Now she made eye contact. "You sure that wouldn't bother you?"

His mouth tightened.She's young, fit, nice legs. Plain face and hair, but if she wants to land some guy, she sure could.

He took a moment, weighing his own concerns about whether she might leave him. With an effort, he said, "Like with you, as long as I don't know about it."

"That's it? We just sleep around whenever we're out of town? Alone?"

"No, um," he said, with some hand-waving, "we need to be smart about this." Now he chuckled. "Make sure everything stays in Vegas."

She felt herself relax, and enjoy the moment. It seemed to her that he felt that way too, embarrassed but a little excited. "Okay," she said, sitting up straighter, "what else shouldn't we do?"

They discussed that, in a way that became pleasant and flirty. Daniel thought,It's as if I'm the kind of guy who could just stroll into a bar and pick up some random woman.He'd never seen himself that way. He had been involved, sexually, only with women who already knew him well. He was convinced that as a stranger, women would find him too intense, or abrasive. Yet it was fun to imagine being a hookup artist.

He also enjoyed Janine's bright smile as they went through this.She's feeling the same way,he realized.I don't want her to sleep with other men, but she's having fun with the idea. She might have done that before, when traveling.

In the end, they added the following to the first two 'Don'ts:'

Don't get infected.

Don't breed.

Don't bang anyone they both knew.

Don't spend a bundle on 'professionals.'

Janine said, "There can be some wiggle room in that one." She felt a little frisson, thinking of Daniel connecting with a prostitute, and also with Janinebeingthe prostitute.I'm getting all kinds of surprises about myself! I don't want to do anything like that, but talking to him about this kind of thing, it's cool!

He looked away. "What, um, would count as a 'bundle?'"

Her hooker fantasy grew sillier, as she envisioned a man peeling hundred-dollar bills off a roll and handing them to her. She shook it off and said, "I have no idea what that, uh, sort of thing would cost."

"Me neither." And he didn't. He was embarrassed by his lack of knowledge.But wouldn't I be more embarrassed if I did know, from experience with that?

She said, "How about...stay within the household entertainment budget?"

"But then, I'd have to 'tell,' that I'd done that." They jointly worked out all of their budgets.

The sight of his discomfort both moved and tickled her. She stood, sashayed over, and slid into his lap. "I think you'll do fine, picking up eager ladies for free."

He gasped, then clamped her in an awkward embrace.

She gasped, then kissed him hard.

As he stood them up he hissed, "Will you?" She nodded jerkily.

They dashed to the bedroom. He thought,We could do it anywhere, it's our house!But the bedroom fit better with his imagined glimpses of a hotel lobby, an elevator, a key card greenlighting a door lock.

Janine thought,This is ridiculous!She flung over her head the blouse she had taken on many work trips, zipped free the blue skirt.I can't really be considering this! I'm married now!But in this moment?It's Daniel. Picking up some bimbo!

She felt his hands yank down her boy shorts from behind.

She spun to face him, her hip slapping against his rigid cock.

He wants this!she thought, fumbling with bra hooks, then giving up on them.Or me. Or...Then words stopped being useful.

He pushed her onto the bed, seeing beneath her a thick quilted bedspread, behind her a frame full of abstract art. Neither of those was in this room.

They were usually careful about foreplay, checking in on readiness. Now, his fingers pushed between her labia and found her warm and wet. She took hold of his shaft and brought it to replace the fingers.

He drove into her, but didn't surrender to the impulse. When he got very close, thickening inside her, he slowed enough to ease back from the brink. Then he drove again. He wanted to show his skill. This puzzled him.Jan knows how I do this. But, some stranger, in a hotel room...

She huffed like a steam engine, and soon, so did he. Her spasms started, yet she grabbed his hips and kept him at work. An orgasm shook through her, but she didn't halt her flexing, shedemandedthat her body, and his, make more pleasure. Her breasts jiggled slightly in the bra, and this made her feel even better.They're not drooping!She hated when that happened, though Daniel didn't mind, maybe never noticed.

Sweat beaded on her gut, welled in her navel. His arm muscles corded as they held his torso aloft from hers. He pumped, eased, pumped, wondering how long he could do this.

She screamed. He'd never heard that from her.

She soared on a second orgasm, mightier than the first. That had only happened once before in her life. Before she'd met Daniel.

His trunk jerked hard as he spurted into her. His yell crescendoed as hers diminuendoed.

His arms wobbled, but with elbows to the sides, he kept from landing hard on her.

Four lungs labored to restore two strained bodies.

She gave him a very long, deep kiss. Tranquility threaded within her lingering ecstasy.

Then she said, "That'll be one thousand dollars."

His intensity melted. He laughed.

She joined in.

For the next several minutes they were giddy, together, at the same time. Maybe longer than they had ever been.

***

One of the things Janine and Daniel had in common was early success in their white-collar professions. They were highly regarded, despite being younger than thirty. Thus they were in demand, for far-distant work trips.

This didn't mean that the trips were enjoyable.

Janine had known beforehand that this trip would be grueling. She was in work mode nearly every waking moment, watching presentations and demos, scanning spec sheets, asking questions that led to follow-ups. Her new arrangement with Daniel went to bottom-of-mind.

A few times, however, a flicker at the corner of her eye drew her attention. She found that it was a reflection of lights, from booth displays or ceiling fixtures, on her wedding ring.

She resented the distraction.This thing on my finger says I shouldn't, but my husband says I can.Annoyed, she returned her focus to the booth occupants' new offering.

On the final night, she stopped by one of the hospitality suites, to decompress. There she saw some familiar faces, a few of them with pleasant associations for her. She smiled.

The wedding ring again got her attention.

I suppose I'll have to explain this.

A longtime colleague saw her, and smiled warmly.

She approached, with one kind of tension easing while another began.

***

When Daniel got home from work, Janine was at the kitchen table, typing on her laptop. She was still in travel wear. Her suitcase was on the floor next to her, upright on its wheels, handle extended.

He asked, "Good trip?"

"Useful," she said, still looking at the screen.

"So," he said. "You must have had some free time. When you could, uh, enjoy yourself."

She side-eyed him. "Are you asking?"

"No, uh, no! Uh...just..."

"There's a pan-Asian restaurant in the hotel," she said with an edge. "The matsaman curry was very good."

"Sorry, didn't mean to, uh..." He turned away, and gnashed at himself, for using the kind of passive-aggression he hated from other people.

Facing her again, he tried to be honest. "I admit it. Now that we've made these, uh, rules, I'm curious."

She folded her arms, not giving ground. "That's too bad."

He got an idea. "How about this? I can't ask, and you won't tell, but what if I guess?"

"Whaaat?"

"The stay-at-home person guesses what the traveler did. If the guess is right, the traveler has to...do all the home chores for one week. Cleaning, laundry, shopping, yard work, everything. If the guess is wrong, the stay-at-home has to do all that work."

She smiled. "Very clever." Then she frowned. "No." She stood, and wheeled her suitcase into the bedroom.

***

Janine found, during Daniel's next trip, that being alone at home was easier for her. There was more to that, though, than getting accustomed to him being gone. She was thinking more about sex in general.

Vividly she recalled that wild fuck, right after they agreed to neither ask nor tell. Before then, she had always screwed while fully naked. It just seemed to be what everyone did. Wasn't it expected? Sometimes, she liked her bosom being touched and kissed. But her mind kept coming back to when her bra stayed on, and her breasts didn't droop or flop.That felt good. And I didn't seem so...ugly.

She had thought it was unfair, that her breasts were not very big, but they sagged. Her sex experience, however, suggested that this wasn't a problem for her partners, just for her. Yet she couldn't get the notion out of her head.

For the first time ever, she shopped online for brassieres that weren't plain, opaque, and firmly structured. Her breasts--maybe B-cup, but bra sizing varied by maker--were actually a good match for her frame. She thought she looked fine in a two-piece swimsuit. She knew Daniel thought so too. The issue was that she didn't have much muscle, or ligament strength, up there.

At the catalog site, there was an app that allowed her to pick a size, put the bra on a mannequin, and show it from different angles. She could select various arm placements and torso twists. She could even set the skin tone and nipple hue to match hers.

She saw that a slate-gray bra let the nipples,hernipples, show through. Moving the mannequin led to the jiggling she had felt while Dan boinked her.

Then she looked at other color options.

Gnawing her lower lip, she switched the bra to completely transparent.

This is an app,she reminded herself.It may not look like this on me.But she seduced herself through the sight.It's like I'm nude, but perky!

She ordered two. One slate-gray, the other transparent.

Daniel might like them.Then, with an excitement she'd never felt about her upper body, she tried to end the thought right there.

***

Within the organization that sponsored this conference, Daniel had a role to chair technical sessions. As needed, he also worked the equipment that showed a speaker's presentation slides and video. The fact that one of the speakers was a longtime acquaintance, didn't rouse him from the same-old of running a session. He adjusted the mic volume, minded the schedule, kept time to allow for Q&A, and so forth.

It was when the session ended, and she approached him to retrieve her memory chip, that he really noticed her. The tumbling brown tresses, faint floral fragrance, and thick but trim frame, stirred memories.

Mavis saw Daniel's ring. She showed a weary smile. "So you're married now," she said. "Does that carry the modifier 'happily?'"

He smiled, but said tightly, "Yes, probably like everyone else in the first year."

"Does she know enough to wear you out in bed, before you leave town?"

"We're happy."

"I'll take that as a no." She looked him over. "Damn. It never fails. As soon as a man goes out of circulation, he becomes desirable. Single men are so obviously desperate. A lady always wants whatseemsto be beyond reach."

Still with a snarky tone, but while eyeing her more carefully, he said, "What's the modifier on your 'married?'"

"Oh, there are several," she returned, "like 'securely,' 'calmly,'..." Her smile showed her teeth. "...'flexibly'..."