Jack Rabbit Pt. 03

Ive done my part, Ive stayed away and Ive done my job. Seeing him was more painful than I would've thought, the memory of what we did last week still so fresh I could still feel his hands on my skin. In the business of the ED we had barely spoken, but what if it was his eyes that I felt on me every night. What if it was him who waited around to make sure I left in one peace? He was driving me nuts.

✨

Even though I was working myself into an early grave, I seemed to breathe a little easier at the cafe. Things were a little more simple here. Say hi, put in an order, make the coffee, some small talk and get paid for it. My co workers were kind, the job was simple. This was my safe space.

At least it was, until Trinity found out through nurse Dana where I worked and invited half the day shift and part of the night shift over to see me between shifts.

Today was my off day and as a partial owner of the cafe I stuck myself on to the schedule. My coworker was more than happy to take the day off and relax. I was exhausted, not having the best nights of sleep after last weeks incident. Dreams, more like memories of the gun poking at my head woke me up in the middle of the night like clock work. It made me nauseous, having to re-live that night over and over again on my mandatory off day from the hospital.

So I worked, to occupy my mind. I was half way through a slow day, bouncing around, singing to myself and cleaning everything in sight. That was until a loud noise broke me out of my state to find hospital staff walking in.

Trinity spotted me first immediately pointing me out to the rest of the group. I froze, a look of horror I'm sure, melted on my face. This, of course, just made Trinity to laugh.

"Why didn't you tell us you worked here?!" Melanie King, another doctor I worked with, smiled. She was a ray of sunshine, which was funny because her boyfriend, another doctor in the ED, Langdon, was so black cat. He smiled down at her as she smiled at me and I shrugged.

I couldn't tell them I was embarrassed. Constantly hiding out here while I made coffee alongside teenagers and college students. I was an owner but the pay check didn't exactly reflect it.

"I didn't need everyone asking for a discount." I joked and Melanie laughed. I looked over the rest of the crew walking in. Joy, Samira, Ogalvie, Langdon, Mckay, Melanie, Mohan and Trinity trickled in. I peaked outside to see Robby and Whittaker talking to-

Fuck my life. Jack Abbott was outside leaning against his giant ram truck talking to them with a sexy broad smile on his face. It was a rainy day and haze only made the grey in his hair dark, prominent and tousled in that sexy way I loved. I had to look away before I went blind looking at the corded muscle peaking from the black t-shirt he wore.

My breathing had already picked up and I took a second to calm myself as Whittaker came walking in. I huffed and threw my arm around the man, making him flinch.

"I though I told you to keep this place a secret Dennis." I said pinching at his sides. "Ah-" he yelled pulling my hands in his and moving me over to the side. His voice was low and I shoved his hands off of me, waiting for an explanation.

"Jesus ok! Dana was worried about you, ok?! A lot has happened over the past few weeks. We just wanted to make sure you were handling everything ok. Plus, she wanted to know where you were running off too all the time. And for some reason she thinks I'm the keeper of secrets around here so-"

I rolled my eyes. "You are the keeper of secrets Dennis! We all trust you for a reason, because your suppose to keep those secrets!"

He rolled his eyes muttering something about not choosing that job but I only shoved his shoulder.

"This was my safe space Dennis." I said, a tone of defeat in my voice. He pouted at me and I tried not to succumb to his puppy dog eyes.

"The apartment can be your safe space." he said, talking about the apartment we shared with Trinity. Even though Trinity mostly slept at her girlfriend Garcia's place and Dennis was either helping out at his farm or staying at Robbys, it still didn't feel like mine. It didn't feel like somewhere I could truly let loose.

Dennis squeezed my bare arm in his. "Im sorry, but Dana was right. You needed to be checked on. For the past week you've been distant and nervous." he said. On the outside I rolled my eyes but one the inside I panicked. Had I been that obvious? I was so scared I was going to lose my job or things were going to be horrifically awkward.

I may have over-reacted a little but Dennis really did not need to go this far.

He opened his mouth to speak but a glazed look moved over his features as he peaked behind me. I didn't have to turn around to know exactly who was behind me. Since moving in with Dennis over the past year Ive noticed how he acted with our attending Dr Robby. At first I thought they were just becoming really good friends but I think it was a little more than that. At least for Dennis. But hey, I guess we were in the same boat. Except Whittaker knew how to keep himself in check- unlike myself.

"C'mon Whittaker, I'll buy you a treat." came Robby's voice behind me as he took the hand Dennis had placed on my arm. I sent a wink at Denis who blushed while he took the older mans hand. I smiled at them while Robby moved his arm over Whittaker as holding his hand in front of all of our coworkers was a little too obvious.

I was so caught up in my coworkers little romance that I didn't hear anyone walk up behind me until it was too late. His voice was so sudden and deep in my that I jumped as he spoke. "I didn't know you had another job."

He sounded neutral, curious, as if he was trying to convey just how much last weeks moment in the family room didn't affect him. I clenched my jaw trying not to acknowledge the feelings that were brewing in my stomach.

"Gotta pay Trinity rent somehow." I said, keeping my voice as dry as possible.

"Mmh." he hummed in my ear, his raspy pitchy sound making my toes curl in the clogs I was wearing. I reached down and balled the ends of my apron in my hands.

"So you both live with Whittaker?" he asked, still keeping his tone deliriously curious. Just like a good colleague would. It was so uncomfortable but the fact that I could feel him at my back now, the fact that I couldn't see him but he was speaking so close to my ear that I could feel his minty breath- It was way too hot.

"Y-yes. Ya, he's great. Trinity is barely there, she's more like a landlord at this point." I said. Even though Dennis wasn't much better, he still came back a few times a week to watch a tv show with me or eat something.

"I see." he said over my shoulder.

It was quiet for a moment, a million words left unsaid floating between the two of us. The tension was there, his breaths were just as shaky as mine. I guess this was his way of officially extending a truce to me which I appreciated wholeheartedly. But in order for it to work, I would need to distance myself from him.

"Ok well, I'm going to go make everyones drinks since were so busy all of the sudden." I said, making a lame attempt at a joke.

I turned to finally face him, using all that was left of my courage for the day. I found Abbott staring down at me with his hands folded behind his back. His face was serious and his eyes were narrowed, focused. On the outside he seemed peaceful and calm but I could tell by the way he rocked on his feet towards me that he was feeling the tension too.

"Can I get you anything?" I asked softly, refusing to meet his focused eyes. He breathed heavily for a moment, not saying a word until finally I swallowed my fear and looked up at him. His eyes were glazed over and his jaw was tight as he stared down at me. I made an effort not to look at his perfect lips or those sexy age lines beside his eyes. Instead, I looked at him dead in the face, cocking my head as if I was attentively waiting for a response.

He shook his head at me before sighed and looking away. His large freckled hand reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he spoke. "Nothing right now. I will see you later kid."

Abbott looked left and right before walking past me straight for the door. I knew it was also his day off, so its not like he was rushing to get to his shift. I hadn't known why he even came in the first place, but I accepted the nondescript olive branch he gave me.

Walking behind the counter, I pretended to ready everyones coffee while I peaked out the window watching Abbott march over to his truck. He had come only to speak to me.

-

Two days later and it was my first day back since having a loaded gun pointed at my head. I did not feel like myself but I tried not to have it effect my work. Everyone was kind and gentle with me so far. Admittedly I was nervous walking back in here but I was relieved when Abbott had let me have some more authority on patient care, only butting in to supervise and help. He was an incredible teacher, especially on simpler days like this. Of course the waiting room was still packed with the funky characters of the night however, it wasn't as bad as the mass shooting I walked into last week.

As the hours went by, I became a little less jumpy anytime someone screamed or cried out. I could feel eyes on me every time I jumped in reaction but after a while, the pity and concern disappeared. I was fine, I wasn't scared. At least thats what I kept reminding myself.

"Woah, you look-"

Joy waltzed in with a coffee in her hand, early to the day shift. I peered down at my watch realizing that it was almost time to go. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, you look like shit girl. Are you okay?" she asked, her words blunt but not wrong. I could feel tendrils of hair falling from the mess of a bun on my head. I knew there were dark circles under my eyes and I didn't have the heart to put on makeup like I usually did today.

"Yea. I need a coffee." I mumbled pushing hair out of my face.

"You need to get the fuck out of here and go to bed." she replied. And while her words were harsh, it was joys way of showing love. I rolled my eyes but under her glare I gave her the gloves I was ready to put on and transferred over the patients I was taking care of.

It took me one more round and 30 more minutes until I was finally ready to leave. Joy busted my balls the whole time as when I finally finished, I snuck away to the staff room before she could chase me out.

Collapsing into the first chair I saw, I rested my head in my arms and let my eyes close. They were heavy after a long day of work. No matter how many times I did it, I never failed to be utterly exhausted after work. Running around all day came easily to others like Dr, Javadi and Dr Whittaker but me? No, I had aches and pains in my legs, back and feet. So I let myself rest for a second, allowed my limbs to stretch and relax under the dark wooden table.

I don't know how long I was there, whether I passed out or zoned out for a minute but I finally roused to the smell of coffee and the soft touch of someone's hand rubbing my back. I blinked raising my head trying to get the room to come into focus. As I did, a cup of coffee came into view on my right.

"I thought you might like being served for once." a voice said, moving to sit across from me.

Dr Abbott came into view, his handsome face looking as tired as I felt. It seemed he had some trouble sleeping as well as I noticed the darkness under his eyes up close. I had never checked on him after that day. I mean, he had a gun pointed at him that day too. I guess I just assumed he was use to it being in the army and all.

"Are you okay Dr Abbott?" I said, yawning and pulling up my knees to my chest, sipping the coffee slowly from the mug. His eyes traced every moment until I had swallowed the coffee. His head nodded a little almost as if he was praising my drinking his coffee.

"No. No I'm not." he said looking directly at me. "And I don't think you are either, Angel."

My teeth gnawed at the inside of my cheek at his words. He still insisted on calling me Angel whether in private or in front of patients. Whenever anyone had asked, he simply told them that I was a miracle worker. As much as I wanted to read into his words, he was like that with a lot of people. Sometimes, I wanted to dislike him so bad. I would think of any little thing to nit pick, just to make my longing over him feel just a little bit easier. It never worked.

"Whats wrong, Jack?" I said sleepily, clutching the coffee close to my chest. He sighed, shaking his head at my words and letting out a little huff. He reached up and pulled at the curls on the back of his head and I wanted so badly to reach over and hold that hand, crushing that sweet nervous tick of his.

"Well," he said, finally looking up to meet my eyes. "We need to talk about last week sweetheart. I've been a terrible mentor bringing this up so late- I can see how avoiding this conversation has affected us both. I mean, I know that I can't sleep, and I can see that you can't either." he said, his eyes looking pointedly at the mess of hair on my head with a small smirk.

I wanted to feel embarrassed but I was too exhausted. There was no more caging my emotions now, I was too sleep deprived to even come up with a lie. So I told the truth.

"I know. You're probably right. I- I've been having nightmares about that man." I admitted for the first time out loud. Abbott sighed as he took me in and I forced myself to focus on the quiet pitter patter of the rain beating on the small window beside us.

"Sweetheart- why didn't you tell me?" he said softly, his hands flinching out as if he wanted to grab mine, but he closed them in fists before he could.

"I dunno. I thought they would go away but its been a whole week. I mean, I want so bad to feel sympathetic for that man. I still don't understand why he did what he did, what I do know is how much it scared me. Threatening that boy, pulling a gun on you- I still feel like I can feel the barrel hovering over my head sometimes." I said, placing the coffee down softly and hugging my arms around myself.

Jack closed his eyes and nodded his head as if he knew all too well. He was quiet for a moment until he got out of the chair and stepped over to me. I was half convinced he was going to leave for a moment until he reached down and pulled up the leg of his pants. I tried to control the shock and curiosity that blossomed from my chest as I lay eyes on his prosthetic leg.

He looked at me, his expression understanding as he took the seat right beside mine.

"This happened in Iraq. We were under open fire when one of my buddies was shot in the chest." he said, keeping his voice low with his soft eyes on mine. "It was instinct to go to him. To help as fast as I could. It was too late when I realized that a grenade had been thrown at him to finish the job. My buddy had tried to push me away and he ended up taking the brunt of the explosion but, the rest took my leg with him."

All of his leg and foot just under the knee had been blown away simply because he was trying to help his friend. He was selfless and brave and yet he still suffered. The thought brought tears to my eyes.

"Do you understand why I'm telling you this angel?" he asked, reaching out to wipe away a single tear on my cheek.

I shook my head no even though I had an idea of what he was trying to say though. What happened to him was way worse than what I had gone through.

"I'm trying to say that doing the right thing can be fucking scary sweetheart. I still have flashbacks of what it felt like to watch my friend die and have my leg blown off all in one go. Sometimes its the mental wounds that end up lasting more than the physical ones." he said.

His hand stayed raised, mindlessly pushing back the small pieces of hair than wreaked havoc on my head. I stayed as still as possible, looking up at him with so much contained emotion in my heart. He truly was a remarkable person. It felt easier talking through this with him.

"Now I know that its still scary right now. But I want you to know that you are safe. You are safe here in this hospital and you are safe with me. You were so bright the day that I met you and its been killing me to see you dim like this."

I nodded my head in understanding. It helped to talk things out and I needed to accept that I was safe here and that I made the right call that day.

"Do you feel better? Talking about it a little bit always helps." he asked smiling softly at me. My face burned having those beautiful eyes on me and I know he saw the blush on my cheeks which made it worse. So I just nodded before I could say anything stupid.

"Good. You know you can tell me anything angel. I'm not just your boss, I'm here to help you learn and grow. I promised Robby I would mentor you and I am going to keep that promise. You have immense potential. So please, don't let it get this bad before you say something."

I looked down and fiddled with the folded hands in my lap. "Ok, I will." I said, not sure if I vent out everything to him. But it gave me relief that he shared his own wounds with my own. I felt seen, heard and a little more optimistic.

"Good girl." he praised and I looked back at him with a shy smile. He mirrored my dopey look for a moment before clearing his throat.

"Uhm. There was one more thing I wanted to talk about with you." he said and I could see his hand inching up to his hair. I knew exactly what was going to come out of his mouth so I wrapped my arms around my self as if I could deflect his words off of me as soon as they came out.

"What happened after. Between you and I-" he said with a heavy sigh. I felt my face drop and I bit my lip hoping the slight pain of the bite would distract from all the shame still swirling inside of me. I though we had a silent agreement that it wouldnt be mentioned again but here he was, bringing it up.

"Before you say anything, I'm not here to reprimand you." he said very softly as if he knew I was seconds from running out of the closest exit.

"Please Dr Abbott." I said scrubbing at my face. "I'm so so sorry for molesting you. I just-"

"Molesting me?" he interrupted incredulously. "Thats what you think you did to me- thats how you think I felt about it?" he asked.

I shook my head so embarrassed to be having this conversation. "I mean, I kissed you. I let it get way to far-" i said.

"No, no, no," he whispered clenching then unclenching his fists which were so close to mine on the table that we almost touched. His face twisted as he thought to himself for a moment before turning back to me.

"Listen to me sweetheart. What happened between us happened between two consenting adults. I never want you to carry around any guilt for what happened okay? Some scary things happened to us that day and in the heat of the moment we found comfort in one another. It was my fault for allowing it to happen in the first place, I should have stopped right away. But Angel, what happened, you kissing me- I." he hesitated and my heart bled as he searched for words. "I could never in a million years be angry at you for that." he said, finally finding the words.

I released a breath I didn't know I was holding. "You're not mad?" I said, an instant air of relief filling up my lungs.

"Of course not. You..." he seemed to fight with his words. His jaw clenched as he looked at me. "You are so special."

A real smile fluttered onto my lips and I sunk into the chair a little, not used to his open praise. It made my chest so warm that my heart fluttered. "Thank you Dr Abbott." I said honestly, so thankful for the kindness of his words. I felt a whole world better after talking to him.

Abbott shook his head as I spoke and I focused my eyes back up on him as the side of his lips tilted up. "I like it when you call me Jack." he said softly, so softly that he practically whispered it.