Not Cheating, Its Simply Cuckolding

He Secretly Wants To Be My Cuck...

Even when we indulge in sexual desires, he wants to be a cuck deep down inside.

He knows what a huge cock difference does for me when having sex. In fact, he experienced this before. He desires to watch me being fucked. I suppose he desires even more. He just didn't tell me yet. He acts like a dom in real life, but in the bedroom...

He is a cuck.

The fantasies are very real.

As he describes them to me, he shows them in videos to me, he expresses his desires and his experiences to me. Is it sick? Is it taboo? Should we do it?

If we could only get past our awkwardness, our indifferences.

I try not to think too much about it, but I like him so I think about it.

Perhaps he is even reading this.

My secrets I share to the world are that yes, he is a cuck. He thinks he is a cuck, he is unsure of it. But I am a sick fuck. I am a nympho looking for love and he is a cuck.

How could it work? How could it be? Is it an odd pairing or a blessing in disguise?

I tried to be normal and be normal with normal people. But somehow it doesn't seem to be working right now. I keep thinking about this cuckold experience with him, the cuck. He wants me to fuck bigger cocks. He wants me to have threesomes. He wants me to go to a sex club and have all the guys jerk their hard dicks and cum all over me.

While he watches, while he licks my pussy, while he masturbates in the corner.

How can I mentally trust him? How can I truly love him?

If we were to continue this lifestyle. If I were to constantly cheat on him, berate him, humiliate him, make him and his penis feel mediocre and average. When in reality it is not. When in reality this feels so taboo. When in reality I am torn with decisions on this.

The further I go, the more I feel unable to return from the dark side.

Deeper and deeper I want to succumb to it, to this cuckold fantasy. One that I was never fully aware of until he first introduced it to him. I just simply wanted him to want to love me and then we can see. But I sense his desires are very strong for this.

As if his insecurities just played out sexually for everyone to see.

To watch us have sex, to introduce strange men to our sexual life, to hunt for bulls and for big, girthy cocks to take advantage of my tight wet Asian pussy while he just watches me fuck men. But it appears to really get his cock so hard. How can I deny that?

I would like to make all of his cuckold fantasies come true.

But sadly, I can only roleplay. Am not ready for this, to cuck him. Am emotionally not stable to cuckold and cheat on him. I would have guilt and remorse for all of my affairs. But somehow, he leads me to do it. Perhaps he has that jenesequa that I melt with.

Vanilla and normal sex seems to not cut it for me anymore.

Perhaps his way could be right. What is the harm if we continue with it? Knowing every night when we both go to bed he is thinking of what a naughty, Asian young slut I am. Cheating on him, seeking other men who are more powerful, desirable and very hung.

I think. I ponder. I try to come up with excuses.

Lately, I just caved in. I started watching smut porn. Cuckolds, XXX videos of all kinds of cuckolding fantasies. Some are so taboo, I can't write about it. But I watched it. I tried to understand it. Am just a nymph, I keep telling myself. I am just looking for love, that's all.

Sacrifices. It could be the right decision. After all, I am used to pleasure and pain. Pain always comes with love, sex, fetishes and kinks for me. What harm could this be if I add cuckolding to my existing repertoire? But still in reality, I just couldn't perform.

Not the way I sense he wants me too.

I am trying to be a good cuckolding lover for my cuck.

Yet, I am still trying to convince him that he really isn't a cuck. Something happened that made him this way. But he seems so convinced that this is his want and need. If I truly could love him, how could I deny him of all of this? We are just figuring it out right now.

He admits it is sick, he probably feels ashamed. I admit, I feel ashamed. But cuckolding should not be questioned and shouldn't be mocked. I am a dreamer so I feel it could be healthy in the right place, the right time and the right way.

Psychology of cuckolding is so complicated.

We seem to feel ecstasy in shame. I even felt guilty. Watching and reading ways to let go of being a hot girl into cuckolding or all the reasons why you should not be into cucking. But at the end of the day, I still think about it. I wouldn't if I didn't like him...

However, I really really like him now.

If he reads this, he knows. I have nothing to hide. I will tell him everything I shared with you. I am aware of his fantasies. My senses never do me wrong. He discusses it like it was a classical symphony. Very orchestrated in fact, very calculating of him selecting potential partners. A symphony of emotions that are inferior, jealous, pleasure, gratitude, shame, degradation, arousal, inadequacy, and lust. I come in all this with caution.

I am looking for love.

If this is what love could be, then I could never call it cheating.

It is simply cuckolding.

That's all.