Pain In The Ass

***All characters are over 18 and are fictional. Any resemblance to any real-life persons or situations is purely coincidental.

......

Rhys had his earbuds on for the last four hours listening to whatever podcast he could find to drown out the noise downstairs. It was his bad luck that his favorite podcasts were on hiatus, and he had to listen to some of the previous episodes, which he didn't mind but he really would've liked some new stuff by now. He thought about starting a new podcast, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to commit to something new at the moment.

He had been working from home the last week because of a flooding in his workplace when a water heater broke over the weekend. The company now had to replace all the damaged floors and fix all the other problems the flooding caused. They were lucky it didn't damage the computer systems, or else it would be impossible to work from home.

Rhys didn't mind working from home, but he'd rather be in the office as he had better access to the company's resources for work and he could talk to his coworkers on breaks. Being stuck at home for work made him feel isolated, alone and sometimes he felt lazy. His wife, Jane, did work from home and she didn't mind it at all. She felt she could get a lot more done from home than being at the office. But this was just a temporary situation and he did have to go on a work trip in a couple of days, so at least he would be out of the house for a while.

Today, Jane was off and invited her best friend Margot for lunch. From his little office upstairs, he could hear them talking endlessly. He didn't mind hearing Jane talking or talking with one of her other friends. He had a problem with Margot, who always had a stick up her ass about something. She just can't stop complaining about anything that comes to mind, especially about men. So, Rhys put on his earbuds to listen to something else while he worked so he wouldn't have to listen to Margot's voice downstairs bitching about how men are terrible and ruining the world.

Rhys could sort of understand why Jane is still friends with her as their relationship goes back to high school. Also, she wasn't so bad with Jane; it was with everyone else. She always had a bad attitude towards other people, but never with Jane; she always seemed to be on her best behavior with Jane around.

Rhys used to argue with Margot a lot when they first met about ten years ago while he started dating Jane. Often it was about men being terrible people, but also other subjects like politics, relationships and so on. He never started the arguments, he would just say something innocuous and she would turn it around on him and start an argument. He would sometimes try to settle the argument quickly before it got out of hand, but then she would just accuse him of faking it to make himself look good in front of Jane. There was just no appeasing her.

Furthermore, she never seemed to approve of Jane and Rhys being together. Since the beginning she had told Jane how he was no good for her and she was just settling. Rhys was just glad Jane defended their relationship. She eventually got over it, even though he could still tell she didn't like him being married to Jane. He still remembered how at the wedding when they did their vows, Margot, who was the maid of honor, rolled her eyes in annoyance when he was trying to say his vows to Jane.

Years ago, Jane got them to stop arguing so much with each other, citing how she cared about them both and just couldn't take it anymore. For Jane's sake, they both agreed they don't have to like each other, but they should at least try to get along better. Over the years, their arguments devolved to simple name calling and snide remarks to each other. They occasionally argued, but not so much anymore. Jane thought they could get a lot better, but under the circumstances, if this was the best she could get out of them, she was willing to accept it.

Near the end of the workday, Rhys took off his earbuds and was ready to shut down his computer. He heard Margot leaving the house which gave him much relief, as he didn't have to deal with her when he went downstairs. Over the years, he learned to just be out of the room, or sometimes not even in the house at all, when Margot was around. It helped to keep the peace.

When Rhys was ready, he went downstairs to see his wife, and to his surprise he found Margot in the kitchen with Jane.

"Hello Jane, hey Margot," he greeted. "I thought I heard you leave."

"I was just getting this bottle of wine I left in the car," Margot said, referring to the bottle on the table. It was opened, and two glasses of wine were on the table for her and Jane.

"Do you want to join us?" Jane asked.

"No thanks, I'm not much of a wine person," said Rhys as he looked into the fridge for something else to drink.

"Well, I hope you enjoy your Zima then," Margot joked, suggesting he couldn't handle his alcohol. "Seriously, Jane, how did you not get him pregnant yet?"

Rhys just smiled as he closed the fridge and turned around to look at her.

"So, Margot, how is babysitting these days?" he asked.

The ladies looked at each other, wondering what he was talking about.

"I'm sorry, I meant to say, how is your boyfriend? Did he graduate from high school yet?"

Margot gave him an angry look while Jane rolled her eyes, hoping this didn't lead to an argument between them.

What Rhys was referring to was how Margot ended her marriage when she cheated on her husband with her 18-year-old neighbor, who her husband used to pay to mow their lawn. Margot was in her mid-thirties, so there was a big age difference between them to make this more scandalous, so Rhys liked to make jokes about that when he could to piss her off.

"He was a college freshman," Margot responded with an angry look.

Rhys didn't say anything about it. He just looked at her with a smug smile because he knew he won this round.

He left the ladies alone in the kitchen and went back upstairs to his home office. He used his laptop to watch something on Netflix until he was sure Margot was definitely gone a couple hours later. He then went downstairs to help Jane clean up the kitchen and get ready for dinner. They talked a little bit as they prepared their meal, mostly about work, family, the next show to binge watch, where they should go on vacation next summer, and so on. Then the subject of friends came up; at first it was just some gossip each of them had heard about their friends, then the subject of Margot came up, and Rhys looked frustrated. He tried his best to stay silent about Margot, but as Jane talked about her he couldn't help making a couple of snide comments about her. This led Jane to say something he never would've expected her to say.

"You two should probably just fuck and get it over with," she said.

Rhys was surprised she said something like this. It took him a moment to contemplate what she said, then he burst out laughing.

"You really got me there," he said as his laughter simmered down.

"I'm joking, but there might be something there," she said. "This hostility between you two could be attributed to repressed sexual feelings you both have for each other. It might be the only reason why this feud has been going on as long as it has."

"Honey, you're an excellent psychologist but you're definitely wrong about this one."

Jane is a licensed psychologist, becoming the first person in her family to achieve a doctorate. Originally, she wanted to work in mental health but ended up working for a consumer research company, helping corporations sell their products to consumers.

"So, you're not attracted to her?" she asked. "Be honest with me."

Rhys felt like this was some kind of trap but went with it anyway.

"Yes, she is attractive," he admitted. "But if I had hostility towards every woman that I find pretty, I'd be angry at a lot of women, especially you."

"I didn't ask if you think she's attractive, I asked if you're attracted to her," she said. "There's a significant difference there."

"Honey, this is ridiculous," said Rhys. "I am not attracted to Margot in any way. So, can we please change the subject?"

"Well, you should know, you both finally have something in common," she said. "You both disagree about my reason for your mutual hostility towards each other.

"Wait a sec, you suggested this to her also?" he asked.

"Yes, and she said basically the same thing you did and thought I was being ridiculous."

"For once, we can agree on something," said Rhys. "Now, please, let's talk about something else."

"Fine, let's change the subject," said Jane. "But for the record, I do believe both of you are in denial about this."

"Duly noted; now talk about something else."

As they ate, Rhys couldn't help thinking about what Jane brought up about him and Margot. He didn't want to say it out loud, but he was kind of attracted to her. He didn't want to sleep with her as Jane suggested; he was human and Margot is a beautiful woman, so he couldn't help feeling some kind of attraction to her. Margot was his wife's age, 33-years-old, just a few years younger than him. She was taller than Jane by a few inches but still shorter than Rhys. She had long blonde hair and a great body; slim with a nice round ass and a great pair of double D breasts. Of course, he was going to be attracted to someone who looked like her.

When they first met through Jane, he couldn't help checking her out. They were at a club, and she was wearing a very short party dress that was showing off everything. So, of course, he was going to be attracted to someone who dressed like this and looked the way she does. Then they started arguing about some random stuff, and that was it.

Near the end of their dinner, Jane asked Rhys more about his upcoming business trip. He was set to leave this coming Thursday morning and come back sometime on Monday in the afternoon. The meetings he was there for were actually going to be done on Saturday, but he wanted to stay longer to meet some old friends he hadn't seen in a few years on Sunday, then go home the next day.

The city he was going to was only a six-hour drive away, but he estimated it would be eight hours with possible pitstops for food, bathroom, and just to take a break from driving. He could take a short plane ride, but he felt it was unnecessary, and he enjoyed road trips. So, for this situation, he decided to just drive his own car there and come back.

"So, it's just a simple road trip this time, no plane rides?" Jane asked.

"Nope, just a nice relaxing drive on the road using my own car."

"That's good to hear," she said. "Can you take Margot with you?"

"What?"

Jane explained how it turned out Margot was going in the same direction for her own business trip for the same number of days. Her car was going to be in the shop for a while for some engine issues and she was contemplating whether to take a plane or rent a car for her business trip, but Jane convinced her instead of wasting her money on those options, to just go with Rhys since the timing was perfect for the both of them.

Rhys was surprised Margot would agree to a long road trip with him, but Jane said it actually took some convincing on her part. Margot was not keen on the idea of spending so much time on the road with Rhys, but she was already spending a fortune getting her car fixed and renting a decent car would just cost her more money. So, she figured it would be better if she just went with Rhys and saved her money.

Another reason Jane convinced Margot to agree to this was because it would be a good way for them to spend some time together and learn to get along with each other better. They've gotten better over the years, but there was still some animosity between them. Spending some time together may help them learn to get along.

"And she agreed to this?" Rhys asked. "Because she hates me more than I hate her."

"Yes, but she realized this has gone on long enough and she is willing to try this if you are."

"I'm surprised you brought this up after you just accused us of secretly wanting to sleep with each other but covering it up through hate."

"Yes, I admit I should never have brought that up when I knew I was going to ask you about this road trip idea I had," she said. "But this could be a good way for you two to bond a little."

"Aren't you worried we'd end up giving in to your repressed sexual feelings and fuck each other?" he asked, jokingly.

"I'm positive it won't come to that," said Jane. "So, what do you say about the road trip idea?"

Rhys wasn't keen on the idea of going on a long road trip with Jane. He was actually looking forward to going on this trip alone; he actually liked taking long road trips on his own. The only other person he enjoyed road trips with was Jane, but she couldn't join him because of her work here. But he knew Jane was right, this could be a good way to finally help them get along better. This could force them to learn more about each other and find some common ground other than Jane. They wouldn't even have to spend the whole weekend together; it was just the two long trips back and forth. In between, they'd have to do their own thing and just schedule when to leave for the trip.

"Fine, I'll do it," said Rhys. "How bad could it be?"

On Thursday morning, the three of them got together for an early breakfast before Rhys and Margot head off on the road. So far, they had their breakfast without someone throwing out some random insult. Rhys knew Margot thought it was gross when she saw how much salt and pepper he put on his scrambled eggs but resisted saying anything about it. Rhys also thought it was strange Margot liked to use sriracha cream cheese on her bagel; besides the smell, he couldn't understand how she could eat it, but he let it go.

Soon they were ready to head off on the highway together. Rhys could tell Margot wanted to have an opinion on how he packed the trunk with their luggage, thinking she probably had a better way of organizing it. But again, she resisted saying anything about it. Jane thought so far this was a good sign that they could get along, as they were working hard not to give in to their impulses to insult each other.

Halfway through the trip, things have been looking well. They did argue a little on what to put on the radio or what directions to use besides what the GPS was telling them to use, but other than that it was all going well. They talked a little on the way and had a good conversation. It turned out Margot was into baseball and liked the same team he did. They also liked a couple of the same bands, had a few similar opinions about politics, and even mutually hated another friend of Jane's that they both have to put up with.

"You hate George too?" Rhys asked.

"He's so annoying," said Margot.

"And his jokes are terrible," said Rhys.

"They're not even original jokes; they're old ones he keeps trying to force into conversations."

"And what is with those empanadas he's always making?" he asked. "He makes them all the time and they're terrible."

"He got the recipe from his ex-boyfriend but put his own twist on it."

"I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to put raisins or cranberries in empanadas," said Rhys.

They both had a good laugh at how ridiculous George was in other ways and how they couldn't understand why Jane was so fond of him. They agreed he was generally a nice guy and it was hard to hate someone who ran a clinic to help underprivileged people, so there were good qualities about him. But it was just hard not to be annoyed by him in other ways.

"This is fun, I wish we got along more like this years ago."

"I know, I guess Jane was right; we just needed to spend some time together to get to know each other," said Rhys.

"It sounds better than what she suggested was the reason we hated each other."

"What was that?" Rhys asked.

"Oh, never mind," said Margot. "It was something she said the other day when I came over to hang out. It's ridiculous, don't even bother asking what it was about."

Rhys realized what it was that Jane talked to her about that she didn't want to say right now. Jane did tell Rhys she had the same conversation with Margot about it, which is how he knows what she was trying not to bring up.

"Was this about how we might have repressed sexual feelings for each other and hating each other was just a way to cover it all up?" Rhys asked.

"Oh my God," Margot said, shaking her head. "I guess I should've known she was going to mention that to you also."

"It's ridiculous, right?"

"Very ridiculous," said Margot. "If I wanted to fuck every person I didn't like, I'd be the town whore."

"Exactly," said Rhys. "She's a good psychologist, but she's definitely wrong about this."

"Definitely wrong about it."

Even though Rhys said this, he couldn't help taking quick glances at Margot's tits. She was wearing a short-sleeved blouse with a couple of buttons undone at the top, and her big tits pushed the opening of the blouse slightly enough for him to get a glimpse of her cleavage. He wasn't sure if he was doing this because he actually thought she was hot or if what Jane said got into his head. Or it could be because he was just like any other guy and he would look at tits no matter who they belong to.

Things were going well for them until their first big pit stop at a diner with a gas station. Rhys paid for lunch while Margot paid for the gas and some snacks for the rest of the trip. When it was time to get going again, Margot offered to drive the rest of the way, but Rhys insisted on driving. Margot insisted saying it was unfair for her to let him drive the whole time and she should drive there the way so he could take a break. But Rhys insisted saying it wasn't the gentlemanly thing to do to let a lady drive on long trips.

"What do you mean 'it's not the gentlemanly thing to do'?" she asked angrily. "What kind of chauvinistic bullshit is that?"

"It's just the right thing to do," he said.

"How is it the right thing to do to pull old-fashioned sexist crap like this?" she continued. "You don't have to treat me like some dainty lady who needs to depend on a man to do things for her."

"Maybe you should act more like a lady, instead of this angry spinster," he replied.

This led to a big argument between them with some people passing by looking at them thinking they were a bickering couple. This went on for some time before the diner manager came out asking them to leave before he called the police. Needing to leave the place soon, Margot relented on letting Rhys drive the rest of the way.

There was a long period of silence between them until Margot changed the radio station in the middle of a song that he wanted to listen to. This created an argument on which radio stations to listen to; it only ended when they realized they were out of range of the radio stations they liked and had to pick a random one in the area.

Another argument started when Rhys was ignoring the GPS directions for what he claimed was a shortcut, but after seeing it was going to add another half hour to their trip, Margot had to say something about it. Rhys claimed the GPS was wrong about the directions and he didn't need it, which set Margot on a rant about men not wanting to listen to good directions. This, of course, led to more arguments about the differences between men and women.

They stopped arguing when they agreed to another pitstop for a bathroom break and the rest of the way they calmed down. Rhys dropped Margot off at her hotel, where the convention she was attending was being held. After Rhys got her luggage out of the trunk, they had a little talk.

"I'm sorry about how the last half of this trip went," said Margot. "I probably should've just let you drive. I still think it's sexist to insist you should drive because you're a man, but it is your car after all, so you have a better say on who gets to drive it."