The Rabbit Hole Pt. 01

Yep, that's right. By 18, I had only kissed two boys, one of whom was a misguided cheek kiss. After prom, I had successfully given a third, one hell of a friction burn with my hand. If that doesn't set the tone for you, I don't know what will.

I could not have had less confidence, even though I truly was cute, not sexy or hot, but cute. I had brunette hair, massive 32AA breasts, and, at 5'2, needed a step stool practically to wash my hands. While the girls I admired were blonde, busty, and seemed to have more leg than I had body.

By now, you must be asking, how did this girl become a little sex addicted freak in only a few months? Well, let me tell you, it is the messiest and bumpiest ride. Full of embarrassment and misfortune. A true zero-to-hero type story. I hope you can find some enjoyment, as I relive each moment that has made me, well, me.

Let's set the scene. I had recently graduated, and that summer, I moved to my college town outside an unnamed city. Just a small fish in a bigger ocean at the time. The only person I knew at all was my aunt, who lived near there, but I had only met her once or twice. Yet, I was a scared little girl, honestly, and willing to cling to anything I could.

So, I was 18 and in a new world where I could become anyone. Go anywhere. But I spent my summer playing board games and swimming with my aunt, uncle, and whoever else from the neighborhood was around. If that wasn't enough, since finding a part-time job was near impossible, I ended up babysitting for some couples in this gated community during the week and on nights they went out. Within six weeks, I felt like I had completely merged with the community.

That's enough of the background stuff for now; I think it's time we took our first peek into that ever-growing rabbit hole.

....

I opened my eyes to a loud beeping noise. Hit my phone and realized I had fallen asleep on my aunt's couch. It was six thirty in the morning, and the house was completely silent.

This wasn't the first time it had happened. People in this neighborhood stayed out later than college kids on some Saturday nights, and it had become pretty common for me to end up in my aunt's guest room instead of driving home.

Making my way to the kitchen, I could see that their door was still shut, and I had no idea what time they had come back. As usual, I made myself at home, grabbed some stuff to make breakfast, and started the coffee, assuming they would need it more than I would.

That's when the silence broke. Greg and Jessica's room was right next to the kitchen. At first, I was afraid I had woken them up, but soon the indistinct mumbling became clear male moans. Followed by a bumping noise I had come a bit too accustomed to. The first time this stuff happened, I was so embarrassed I ran out of the house and drove to my apartment. Eventually, it became more of a headphones-kind-of event. I would never admit it, but over time, it became more of a secret curiosity.

They were in their forties and seemed to have the sex lives of teens, while mine was still non-existent. Outside of a vibrator I had finally ordered after being on my own, and a phone that was used for porn and smut, more than talking to real people.

I'm ashamed to admit that this morning I listened pretty much the whole time. If I didn't know better, I'd think they were putting on a performance anyway. So much moaning and talking. Kind of frustrated I couldn't make it out. And yes, I know that is my Mom's sister. Shut up.

Then everything went silent again for a moment, followed by their door opening. It would have been so easy for me to play it cool. Scroll on my phone and drink some coffee. But no, I quickly jumped from my stool and spilled half of it on the counter, like I had been caught red-handed.

"Sorry, Livvy, I didn't mean to scare you." My aunt said, coming out of the room, pulling the belt of her robe tight.

"Oh, no I just.." No recovery in sight.

"Let me help you." She wiped everything up and smiled at me. Jessica was the perfect example of the woman I was not. She had long, thick blonde hair and a body built by non-stop Pilates and yoga. Of course, she had to be confident, funny, and nice. And while A's helped me get through school, her C's seemed like they were better for everything else.

"I really hope you didn't sleep on that couch all night, Livvy. We told you the guest room is always yours. Sorry, we stayed out so late again."

"No, really, you are fine. I didn't have anything to do." My eyes darting between hers and the floor.

"But why not? You're in college now. Shouldn't you be out with boys and sneaking drinks? You spend way too much time sitting around our house. Not that we mind, of course." She grabbed a mug of her own and sat on the other side of the island.

"Have you even been out once here? On a date? Anything?" Her questions made me feel even more pathetic.

"I mean, not yet, but I have only been here..."

"Almost two months now," Jessica said, proving her point. "Your summer is almost over."

Before I could say anything, the bedroom door opened again. Greg stepped out in only his briefs. He was a good 6'2, and thick. That's the word that came to mind, not ripped, not fat, but thick and everywhere, if you know what I mean.

"Greg, put on some clothes!" Jessica's face was perturbed, while mine showed a bit of something else. Which might have gone unnoticed if I hadn't awkwardly coughed so loudly and blushed like a cherry.

"Sorry, O. I figured you would still be passed out in the room." He laughed and turned back around into the bedroom, and the door shut once again.

My name is Olivia, but almost everyone called me Livvy. It felt like some part of him knew what he was doing when he called me O, hard to put my finger on it.

"I'm sorry about him. I didn't marry him for his manners." A chuckle of her own as she watched me fumble with myself for at least the third time this morning already.

"It's your guys' house. Not his fault that I am always around, as you said."

"I didn't mean it like that. But you know what, give me your phone. Aren't all you kids on dating apps these days?" Jessica reached over and grabbed the phone. Typed my birthday into it, and within seconds, she was in. "What is it called again, Tinder?"

"I mean, there are a few..."

"I found it. Livvy, you have a ton of guys on here." Her finger swiped around immediately.

"Yeah, I just."

"This boy is cute, athletic. Oh, and this one looks fun." With each one, Jessica turned the phone to show me their picture, then went back to sorting through the profiles. "You could be having so much fun. Do you know how bad it would have been for me to have this stuff at your age?"

"I'm just not that into going out and stuff." This felt like a humiliation ritual at the moment.

"Well... maybe that's because a ton of your likes and matches seem to be more my age than yours." Her eyes locked onto mine.

"That just happens... I... I just ignore that. Can I have my phone back?" She reluctantly slid the phone over to me.

"You are a really pretty girl, Livvy. You will drive those men crazy. Now excuse me. I need a shower and find the will to get out today." Putting her mug in the sink, she walked back into the bedroom as well and shut the door. And as you probably guessed, within a minute or two, I heard a thud, followed by moaning and bumping.

...

The rest of the day was spent buying supplies for my classes and, honestly, having random, intense thoughts about what had happened behind that closed door. So often, actually, that when I got back to my room, I threw all the bags down on the floor, got my laptop, my vibrator, and jumped on my bed.

Nothing feels as shameful and desperate as looking for porn of people who look like your aunt and uncle. I lied, feeling myself get uncomfortably wet, as the woman got bent over and spanked was worse. Then the need to take my shorts and panties off, as his cock came out, felt even dirtier.

I couldn't help but lie back as my finger slid between my legs and then my lips. I could already feel a drip run down my butt. I didn't even need to watch the screen. Those moans. Her whimper as he pulled on her hair. I picked up the vibrator and just grinded myself against it. My moans started to match hers. I heard him say, "Are you going to be good for me?" and I couldn't help but yell yes, as my body shook. I struggled to keep the vibrator against me. The convulsions shifted me up in the bed. I couldn't even tell how many orgasms I was having. My hand instinctively squeezed my nipple, then ran up my chest and face until I bit down on my own finger. The walls were thin, and I didn't want to scream. Finally, the burning and tingling slowed. My body, which I held up in the air like an exorcism, fell to my mattress. Gasping for air. I had nothing to say but "Fuck..."

If it couldn't get any worse, I passed out after that and found myself in a dream with Greg. I was back at their counter, and he walked out again, but there were no briefs to be found this time. His cock dangled like my forearm as he walked towards me. He told me to get down on my knees. My body fell to the ground for him, eyes locked on his, and then I woke up, soaked in sweat. I took the longest shower of my life that afternoon, and yes, I did put that showerhead in multiple places.

There was no way I could ever go to their house again.

But when I walked out of the bathroom, I had a text from Jessica.

"You are coming over tonight for a you-me girls' night. Greg is playing poker at the Marshalls' house. So we will have fun tonight!"

I ignored it for a while. Put all my supplies away. Cleaned my room. Watched some Netflix. Then another text.

"What do you like to drink? You already told me you never have plans!"

I must have paced a mile in that tiny room before answering back.

"I've never drank before."

Within seconds.

"We are going to have so much fun tonight! See you at 7!!!"

I looked at the clock, and it was 6:25. With what little time I had, I searched through my dresser for something to wear. Realized my last pair of underwear had sat on my bed in bad shape after the earlier activity. With little choice, I threw on a pair of shorts and a tank top. Threw my hair in a ponytail and walked out the door.

...

My entire drive to Jessica's house was tense. My mind spun. It wasn't like I did anything with Greg. I don't even think it was him in my dream. The porn was just of two people. They didn't even look like the two of them. Nothing about it was weird at all.

If that was the case, though, then why did I feel so awkward in their driveway? Why did I sit out there for five minutes, only getting out because Jessica opened the front door and waved?

"Livvy, come on!" Unlike me, she was made up for quite the event. A silky-looking pink PJ set that looked amazing on her. A perfect French braid, and of course, nails and makeup that were of a professional level.

I got out of the car and took the biggest breath before walking in.

"Oh, Livvy, I think you need this night more than I do! Maybe I can even get you to loosen up." She handed me a drink before I could make it all the way in.

"Thanks, umm, yeah, maybe I do." I let out an awkward giggle and, without thinking, took a large sip of the drink. Not that it tasted bad, but out of surprise, I almost spat it back into the cup. There was definitely a good amount of alcohol in it.

The next hour was pretty casual. We chatted about random things, and she decided to paint my nails pink. I finished the first drink and was quickly handed a second. Feeling my first moments of tipsiness. My first release of control, which I grasped so tightly. For a short time, the stick was removed from my butt. Yet, in the next, I would feel it suck right back in.

"Come over here, Livvy. Tell me about you and boys. Help me feel young again." She had me sit down next to her on the couch, then before I knew it, she grabbed my foot and started massaging while she stared me down.

"There isn't a lot to say, really." My face felt like a cherry again.

"Oh, come on, it's just you and me here. What have you done with a boy or... girl? We're just two girlfriends here."

That was the second time I almost spit out my drink.

"It's fun to gossip with the girls, Livvy. I sucked Greg's dick this morning before I talked to you, and he fucked me right after. We are both grown-ups. Relax."

My eyes bulged, my face incinerated, and yes, part of my drink did end up down the front of my shirt. "Oh.. I...didn't realize, or I mean that's cool or yeah." What do you say to that?

She tried to hold in a laugh, but she was already finishing her third drink and didn't seem to have it in her. "Sorry, I don't want to make you too uncomfortable, Livvy. I just think you and I have a really fun little connection. And you're just so damn cute!"

I was silent. There might have been thirty voices ringing through my mind, but none of them were willing to help words come out of my mouth.

"Come on, Livvy. Nothing said or done in this house would ever get back to your mom. Let me just be a girlfriend." As she said this, I had my first foot massage, which seemed to go up to my knee.

I don't know if it was the alcohol, my need to please her, or just a desire to let go, but I cracked. "Okay, but I really don't have any stories to tell. I've touched one once, and he literally had me stop and finished it himself." If I could have drowned myself in my cup at that moment, I would have.

"Oh, Livvy. That's fine. I shouldn't have pried so hard. You are just perfect, girl. As innocent as you are cute." Her face switched from intrigued to that of someone looking at a little puppy.

She wasn't wrong, and immediately I began to feel pathetic. "It's not like I wouldn't. I just haven't. I'm not a guy's type."

"Excuse me, ma'am!" Jessica sat up straight. "There is not a man within a hundred miles of here who doesn't desire what I am looking at. Even most of us women." Her face and scanning eyes quickly told me I was not misreading her words.

"Ohhh...oh...I...umm" My brain was malfunctioning. I needed her to say something, or for the world itself to implode and take me away. My aunt said that. She is a girl and part of my family. Is she attractive? Yes, everything I wish I were? Yes. Was I flattered? Honestly, yes. But what the fuck.

Over those long ten seconds, I'm sure to her it looked like I was having an aneurysm.

"Maybe I said too much. Drinks do talk in funny ways." Another small pause as she stared at my face, and I swore into my soul. "Do I get us each another drink and keep talking, or do we watch a movie and forget about all this silliness?"

What did that mean? What does she mean? How could a person feel as good and as bad as I did in that moment? Am I making this all up, or is she hitting on me?

The words were on the tip of my tongue for far too long. "Maybe... one more."

"Maybe one more what, Livvy? Say it for me." Something in her voice hit me a bit between the legs.

"One more drink, please." I exhaled like I had passed the hardest test of my life and gave me the biggest smile I might have ever seen from her.

Jessica stood up and glided to the kitchen once more. I didn't look over at her but could feel her eyes on me multiple times. She knew how to make me nervous; I didn't mind it. "Not to boast, but I've known for quite a while how well you would fit in here. The entire neighborhood adores having you around... and Greg loves it.

"Well, thank you, Jessica. I really like it here too. Everyone has been so sweet including..." Swallowing my last words as she walked back over and sat next to me with our new drinks.

And like we had not just had that insanely awkward moment, that I was still trying to decipher. She went right back to a girls' night. "You know what would be fun? Let me do your hair. We could be twinsies; you'd look so cute in a braid. You have the prettiest hair."

"Thanks, uh, sure. That would be nice." I slide to the floor in front of her, between her legs. The feel of her hands in my hair is nice at first, then a bit rough and firm.

At times, she grabbed my hair and gave it a small tug. But no sounds were exchanged, other than a little grunt from me if the pull seemed a bit too harsh.

"Greg and I talked about kids so many times, but it never would have worked out with our lifestyle, you know? If I am being honest, having you around has kind of made it feel like we have that now. It's nice."

She couldn't see it, but my face lit up. "It has been nice. I never really did mom-and-daughter stuff with my mom. She was always working and away."

"Lindsey has always been like that. The perfect child, I was always the fuck up and chaos. But someone has to be to keep things fun." A chuckle from behind me. "I think you are all done, sweetie. Some of my best work."

I touched the back of my head. She had put my hair in a tight braid, but she was not wrong. When I stood up and looked in the mirror, it was flawless. "Thanks, she was never good with hair either. A ponytail holder got me through most of my childhood."

"Well, we can't have that around here. I'll have you looking pretty all the time. I love doing hair and dressing up. Plus, a braid is Greg's favorite, so I have plenty of practice."

Still looking in the mirror, I could see her eyes on me once again from behind.

"To remember a time when I had a little body like yours. You shouldn't waste such things."

She had such a way of making me feel comfortable, then pulling the rug out from under my feet. But two drinks and a sip in was enough to help me keep up, almost. "You are so beautiful, Jessica. I'm missing out on plenty." As I turn around, I look at how flat I am and how curvy she is. "I pray to look like you when I get older." Not sure if I gave a compliment or a dig.

Another smile, a good sign. "Livvy, you don't know how perfect you are. Don't wish for a single thing to change about you." Her face didn't read as that of a seductive woman but as that of a concerned mom again for a second. Flipped like two sides of a coin.

Then again, the flip.

"If this is going to be a real girls' night and sleepover, we have to play some of the dumb games," Jessica said. Grabbed both our drinks and sat back down.

"Sleepover?" Not realizing it would be.

"Of course. I can't have you drink for the first time and leave. You're stuck here tonight. Now sit back down. Nothing cringy like a game of truth or dare."

I sat on the couch with her, a cushion of space between us. "I guess that makes..."

"Three sips and then choose truth or dare, Livvy." A large sip of her own drink. Her body language was so open. Ready to go.

I took three, then four, and a fifth for good measure. "Truth, then." It was the most questioning a statement could be.

"Are you attracted to Greg?" Not a second of hesitation in her voice, just a blunt strike.

"Oh.. uh... no, not like that...I... I mean, he is a handsome man." There went the rug, flew out of sight.

"You are such a liar. I saw you drooling this morning, on top of like thirty other times swimming." She leaned in like her goal was to trap me.

"Yeah, he is attractive. I didn't want to offend you." Another drink so I could look away.

"I asked Livvy. Just checking if I could trust you. Which I can't." A chuckle and a sip from Jessica. "And it turns me on knowing he is desired."

My jaw hung down, probably not for the first time. "Umm, your turn then."

"Truth as well." Sass in her voice and across her face.

"Does Greg find me attractive?" She almost looked surprised by my question, like I would never punch back.

She leaned in again, a seductive whisper in my direction. "Very, very much so..." Then she finished her drink, stood up, and walked over to her phone.