31 Days of September

A fictional coming of age into early adulthood story. All implied sexual references are intentionally limited to consenting adults at or beyond the age of 18.

"Withholding information to obscure the truth is the same thing as telling a lie."

Craig's story, from before present day

There is a first time for everything. First car. First date. First job. Well, at least today isn't my first day on this job. I find myself covered in sunscreen, under an umbrella that really isn't blocking much sun. It can't obstruct much, as I need a clear view of this pool to make sure these screaming kids don't drown in 3'(0.9M) of water.

"Did the sun overheat your watch again? You're 10 minutes late buster!"

I immediately blow my whistle for 5 seconds, and let out a deep yell "Addddaaaalllttt Swimmmmmmm." Jennifer is standing impatiently at the base of my station as the children reluctantly clear the pool. Her athletic friend Vanessa somewhat more patiently waits to take my place as relief in the lifeguard chair. A couple of wayward parents enter the water to cool off while the youth of Columbia, South Carolina funnel over to the snack bar, dripping off a fair amount of the pool water in the process.

How a fair skinned, pale kid like me ends up as a lifeguard in the sun while Jennifer got hired to work the snack and concession stand in the shade is a head scratcher. Her deep, golden tan would only lead you to conclude she works in the sun all day, or at least spends the majority of her summer outside. How we seemingly ended up as a couple by the end of the summer is an even bigger mystery to everyone, including me.

As far as firsts go, I've never actually had a girlfriend before. A late bloomer across the board, I guess. Blame my intrepid mother. She managed to give birth to me on August 31, never letting me forget how she carried me to term during one of the hottest summers of all time. Because she couldn't carry me a measly 12 more hours, my birthday at the end of August means I am absolutely the youngest in my grade. Anyone born on or after September 1 started school a full year later. I may be a rising senior this fall, but I won't turn 17 until almost the first day of school. This has me amongst the youngest of my peers. I was always the smallest in sports, the last kid picked, the most socially aloof, the latest to clear puberty, still riding the bus while most of my friends had cars. You get the point. Life isn't fair.

As I was saying, I never had a girlfriend before Jennifer. I never had the courage to ask anyone out, heck I never even could tell if a girl noticed me, much less liked me. It all happened naturally, we just hung out during our breaks together, and eventually shared lunches together at our summer job with the community pool. I started trading my shifts to try and work the same schedule as she did; to my surprise, she noticed and started doing the same. Halfway through summer, the coordinator making the schedule got tired of the constant trades and just put us on the same schedule perpetually. I never actually had to ask Jennifer out, but by the end of summer we were unmistakably a couple. If there was any doubt, the fact we arrived and left the pool together holding hands made it clear we had become an item.

Ironically, Jennifer's birthday of October 1 meant we were all of 31 days apart in age. It might as well have been an entire year. Despite living nearby and even attending the same school, we operated in entirely different social circles. Jennifer was a rising junior, which meant she had 2 years of high school remaining compared to my one. Different classes, different friends, different schedules. Jennifer is an athlete, track and field is her sport, and the school year was a blur of scheduled practices, competitions and activities. She is also at the opposite social spectrum as me, one of the oldest in her cohort of school classmates and friends. Girls just mature more quickly as it is, but this is only magnified when you are practically the oldest girl in your grade. Jennifer was among the first in her peer group to get a drivers license, to start dating, pretty much any major life milestone you can think of, it came easily and early to her.

Naturally, Jennifer dated before meeting me. I guess the details escaped me, clearly several of my friends somehow knew her history. It's not a stretch to imagine she was out of my league, especially considering her fast path to maturity and my acknowledged status as a late bloomer. I never heard any salacious details from her past relationships, most likely because maybe none actually existed. She was perpetually busy and didn't really have space for a full time boyfriend. But inevitably guys noticed her. She certainly wasn't lacking attention from any boys at Columbia High.

Once summer wound down we necessarily spent a lot less time together. I saw her at school and somehow we remained an exclusive couple. I got my first ever opportunity to attend the fall homecoming dance, and enjoyed showing off Jennifer to my friends. I think she relished having a senior for a boyfriend, although I wasn't the first upperclassman she had dated. She could have most any guy in the school, and I knew it. As fall turned to winter, the sports season relaxed and Jennifer and I were spending a lot more time alone together. Mostly alone, since we had to remain on our best behavior when visiting at home where parents or siblings could appear at any time. I was hoping we might be building up to something a bit more horizon stretching when winter turned to spring, and she was abruptly back into track and field. Suddenly our time together had become scarce again.

I was beginning to wonder if our puppy love wasn't necessarily built to last? I was applying to state university in the fall, and Jennifer had her entire senior year of high school still to come. What are the odds our relationship could survive a separation spanning her senior year and my transition to life as an independent college freshman? As life never quite unfolds as you think it will, my initial application to state U was deferred, then ultimately rejected. I was confident I would be on the right side of the 50% acceptance rate, until I was reminded that the coin flips in both directions. It would be at least a year or two of Columbia community college for me.

Jennifer's story, present day

I reach up to the cabinet as I complete the arduous task of unloading the dishwasher. My toddler daughter's sippy cup takes the place of a single wine glass off the shelf, which I fill generously for my husband Craig to finish off last night's bottle. The glass of Cabernet we shared the evening before will be my last for a while, as we celebrated the confirmation of our second pregnancy.

I have never been more in love with my husband Craig than today. He completes me, my soulmate, my confidant, my provider, my defender, my lover. I walk into our family room hoping the wine glass in my hand will help capture his attention away from his laptop and whatever he is working on.

"You'll never guess who I talked to today, honey."

"Not guessing Jenn. No time to play games."

"You remember my friend Vanessa Hawkins?"

"Vanessa...Hawkins? You mean Vanessa Collins?"

"LOL. She took the name Hawkins when she married her husband Neil. I think we were at their wedding, you probably haven't forgotten that."

"I haven't forgotten the hangover. So what's new with Vanessa?"

"Well, it's ironic you remember her maiden name as she might be taking it back. She and Neil are separated and it sounds as if they are on a path to divorce."

"You're making me feel old babe. Here we are processing the news of our second pregnancy, and you go and drop the first couple I am aware of where we attended the wedding and now they are getting a divorce. What's happening to us?"

"We are going to be fine because we are in love, and have always been destined to be together. I have a feeling there is a real story somewhere with Vanessa and Neil and I'm looking forward to the juicy details."

"She left you hanging? Eventually someone tells all."

"Eventually, Vanessa's going to tell all. I invited her to spend the weekend in our guest room next month for the 10 year reunion."

"She moved after the wedding. To California? She's still there?"

"Apparently she and Neil are both still there, but supposedly she's the one who's moved out. Not sure what that means but I guess we will find out when she visits."

"They have any kids?"

"No kids. You finished that glass of wine yet?"

"Jenn, I have a presentation to finish and it's getting late. I'm sorry."

I took the laptop out of Craig's hands, gently folding it shut and placing it on the coffee table. I made eye contact in a way he would unmistakably recognize what I wanted, then picked the laptop back up, cradled it in my arms and calmly walked away towards our bedroom.

"You can pick up your computer later after we finish."

Craig's story, from before present day (continued)

The news I was not accepted to State U was tempered a bit by the recognition that I would be graduating soon, and maybe another summer chasing Jennifer around the pool could be a real possibility. If I wasn't leaving home for college, maybe there was some chance we could keep dating, at least until she finished school. I was pretty sure Jennifer would be a shoo-in to university, maybe even on an athletic scholarship. I still didn't believe our relationship was anything long term, but was able to recognize once you're dating a girl so far out of your league, you don't give up casually.

Meanwhile, despite my historical identity as a late bloomer, I was really now coming into my own physically. Jennifer however was now 100% model worthy. Her golden summer tan combined with her track and field workouts left her physique a sight to behold. The summer after graduation turned out to be a carbon copy of the year before. We were just an effortless couple, and spent every available moment together. Summer passed in a flash, and before I knew it, we were celebrating my 18th birthday together. Soon she would be back in school and I would be navigating community college and hopefully a part time job. I was going to keep living at home for a while, but definitely wanted a path to independent living despite missing out on college life for now. There was even a building little fantasy that I would follow Jenn wherever she ended up going to university.

Due to our conflicting schedules, and Jennifer's frequent track competitions, we didn't see each other much but did connect over a weekend in early October to celebrate her 18th birthday. We were both adults, and still virgins, at least I was quite sure of my status as a virgin, not that it had escaped my notice that once I passed the age of consent with a smoking hot girlfriend I didn't really know what the hell I was waiting around as a virgin for.

Jennifer seemed to sense my growing frustrations in this regard. As fall once again turned to winter, we managed to find more and more time together, frequently alone. Nothing was off the menu anymore in terms of our intimacy, except for a full consummation in a penetrative sense. I let Jenn know I was ready, and didn't want to pressure her, but hoping she would signal when she was finally ready to go the distance together.

Unfortunately, sex in the biblical way was just never in the cards. Jennifer remained adamant she was saving herself for marriage, or at the very least, once she was sure she had found "the one". I sensed this as a clear rejection and statement that I was not going to be "the one", and ultimately the stress this acknowledgment placed on our relationship had us break up for a time. I was at first beside myself processing the breakup and then out of my mind realizing I may never get a girl as hot as Jennifer ever again. I was really falling in love with her and a sense of guilt took hold that we broke up over sex.

I figured Jenn would have a new boyfriend within a couple weeks of breaking up, even if only to spite me. Seemingly, not only did that not happen, but she apparently had similar reservations about separating. After a couple months apart, we were suddenly back together. While we still weren't going all the way...well, I felt like I tested my limits there already, we were now clearly exploring how far we could take intimacy without actual penetration. It was hard to pretend we didn't have some carnal knowledge of each other now, given how much experimentation had taken place. Somehow Jenn was satisfied that I was no longer pressuring her for full intercourse and I was increasingly satisfied with stretching every other possible intimate boundary together.

Jennifer's story, present day (continued)

"Ahhhhhhhh! Vanessa!!!"

"Oh my god Jennifer, you look a-maze-inggg"

Craig was still at work when the rideshare dropped Vanessa off for reunion weekend. I wasted no time catching up the details of her personal life.

"Girl, I can't believe you and Neil are separated. Honey, what happened?"

Vanessa stiffened her body posture, then confidently revealed "Neil asked me to leave. He was suspecting I was involved with another man. I guess he suspected correctly."

"Vanessa...oh my...wow. I am... so sorry."

"It's my fault." She smiled. "I mean, of course it's my fault. I had no business getting involved with a man from the office. A married man no less, whose wife apparently couldn't care less about her husband, or who he consorts with outside of marriage. I foolishly thought Neil would be equally forgiving, if he even cared at all. I guess I was wrong."

About that time Craig walked through the door. I tried to get some discrete time to brief him on what I learned. Between the whirlwind of dinner and a toddler daughter obsessed with being daddy's little girl, I didn't get an opportunity to share any context privately. In a hurried whisper as we cleared the dinner dishes I simply whispered "She cheated."

I immediately recognized by the change in Craig's posture that he was uncomfortable. I smiled at him reassuringly and stated "I just wanted you to know in case we could avoid an awkward conversation after Camryn's bedtime."

Later that evening, Craig and Vanessa shared a bottle of wine while I sipped a sparkling apple cider. It might as well have been my daughter's apple juice. Surprisingly, Vanessa did not hide from the elephant in the room.

"Craig, I shared earlier with Vanessa that Neil and I are separated, the genesis of which is my responsibility. While I remain deeply in love with my husband, I did unfortunately betray his trust in a way that may be irreparable, and stand ready to face the consequences if necessary."

Craig looked like a deer in the headlights. I tried to diffuse the awkwardness by reassuring Vanessa.

"Vanessa, I speak for Craig and I as a couple when I acknowledge how brave you are for taking responsibility for your actions. It saddens us to hear that your marriage may be...unrecoverable."

Craig spoke up and added tension to an already tense conversation. The alcohol might not have helped but did act as a bit of truth serum, to say the least.

"Vanessa, I will speak for myself when I say I mourn the news that your marriage is failing. I appreciate your acknowledgment that it was your behavior, apparently, that proved to be the determining factor in the failure. I am also feeling especially proud that Jennifer and I as a couple not only have managed to avoid similar temptations in our marriage, but so far can confidently profess to be the only true lovers either of us have ever experienced in our entire lives. I can't even begin to imagine what Neil must be going through right now processing your infidelity."

It was Vanessa's turn to look like a deer in the headlights. She shifted in her seat uncomfortably, for the first time all evening. Vanessa made eye contact with me, then the ground, then me again, and then a wry smile crossed her face. Almost as fast as the smile appeared, she seemed to regain her composure and her smile quickly faded.

Craig's eyes met mine, with what was at first a look of uncertainty, and then darting between my eyes and Vanessa's, eventually a look of despair. I remained nonchalant on the outside, but on the inside I was seething. At first, wishing I could be anyplace else but here, and eventually regretting my decision to invite Vanessa into our home at all. I quickly changed the subject to tomorrow night's high school reunion, but Craig remained a distant non-participant in the conversation from that moment forward. I feared I had a problem, a secret that I believed to be lost to history had somehow just been exposed.

Craig's story, from before present day (continued)

It was springtime in Jennifer's senior year. Members of her team had been invited to an elite all star track and field competition exclusively for high school juniors and seniors held at a world famous resort in Central Florida. I managed to get the long weekend off from work and skipped community college for a couple days to drive down and support her.

Naturally, I had a hotel room all to myself for the long weekend, prepaid and reserved in advance - a big expense for me. Jennifer and I managed to see each other Thursday night, and while our time together was brief, I offered her a room key and encouraged her to sneak out and make her way to my hotel anyway she could. She was here unchaperoned, as an 18 year old senior, she was really only bound by the rules of the competition and could travel as she pleases after hours, even if it was unsanctioned by the team. As her entire friend's cohort of senior athletes had also turned 18 by this time, the parent and teacher supervision was pretty lax across the board. It was mostly a party atmosphere that evening, and I was confident we would get some private time together. Unfortunately, I didn't see Jenn again that night.

Friday morning, my phone was ringing incessantly. My mother called to say my father had been rushed to Mercy Hospital with severe chest pains. As I was the oldest, and first born, she asked if I could return to Columbia ASAP to help care for my younger siblings while she was at my fathers bedside in intensive care. I didn't have much choice but to depart immediately. I didn't even get the chance to tell Jenn, and didn't think much about it in the heat of the moment. I wasn't even sure my father would still be alive by the time I could drive several hours home to Columbia.

I reserved and paid in advance for the hotel room, imagining the possibility that Jennifer and I would be able to spend our very first night together as a couple at some point over the weekend. Yes, while I envisioned the possibility we might be having sex, I also appreciated how my ambition to consummate our relationship completely had nearly destroyed us months before, and I didn't want to take any chances again. I thought about it a lot on the drive home, but ultimately came to peace with the recognition that Jennifer and I spending a night alone in my hotel room clearly wasn't meant to be. At least, not this weekend anyway.

Jennifer and I eventually connected over the phone early Saturday, I apologized for taking off without notice and reassured her my dad was now out of the woods and on the path to recovery. We agreed to see each other as soon as she returned to Columbia.

For whatever reason, our relationship seemed noticeably different after that weekend. At first, Jennifer seemed distant, almost reticent to be alone with me or intimate in any way. I felt like our relationship had taken an unexpected step back. After a couple weeks, Jennifer seemed to recover in the other direction. We were making plans to attend her senior prom together, and she had received news of her own acceptance to State U on a full athletic scholarship. I recognized that she had a chance to live her dream, and I would not stand in her way, although I was apprehensive about our relationship surviving her move to State U with me remaining in Columbia.