A Christmas Reconnection

Colby checked his watch, his face tight with annoyance. Leaning slightly to the left, he glanced around the man ahead of him and watched as a woman piled coupons and a cut-up catalogue on the counter before a frazzled looking cashier. What on earth could take this long to buy?

The smell of fir boughs and hot spiced cider thick in the air of the boutique had quickly become cloying as he bounced impatiently on his feet in this ridiculously slow-moving line. The ancient store was packed with last-minute holiday shoppers, each desperate to find that last-minute gift.

After five minutes of browsing, Colby made a confident choice and decided on a navy-blue alpaca wool sweater with gray trim around the cuffs and the shallow V-Neck collar. Letting out a sigh, he regretted procrastinating on shopping for his sister, but catching a flight home had taken precedent over any unique or high-fashion gifts he could have brought with him. After all, a gift from New York wasn't very good if he was stuck in New York and unable to give it.

With nothing else to do but grind his teeth in frustration, he glanced around the shop, taking in the slightly corny holiday decorations that festooned the shop's interior. Painted snowflakes on the windows mirrored the real snow currently accumulating on windowsill outside. The faux cedar garland that swooped between the rafters had already gained a smattering of spiderwebs and dust in the month they'd been set up. And the stockings hanging from the mantle over the currently dark fireplace twisted on their peg every time someone opened the door.

"Finally," the silver haired man before in him line grumbled as the coupon lady shuffled toward the door, her oversized bag bulging with the items she'd haggled over for far too long.

Checking his watch again on impulse, Colby scowled. He'd be cutting it close. Running a large hand through his dark beard, he contemplated what he should get for lunch.

With surprising speed, Colby was waved toward the counter.

"Hi, did you find everything you were looking for?" The young cashier asked in an automatic tone, her dark brown eyes mildly glazed as they flicked across the sweater Colby had set before her.

"Yes, thank you" Colby smiled. "It was an easy choice."

The cashier held up the sweater appraisingly. "Yeah, this is one of my favorites. I got the same one but in black. Did you know the alpaca wool is grown and spun locally?"

"Is that so?" Colby asked, mildly interested and annoyed at the same time. He had no idea what an alpaca was and didn't really have time to care.

"Yeah, it's actually just down the road. You can see them out in the field if you drive by the episcopal church." The cashier went on while scanning and folding the sweater. She was probably in her late teens or early twenties, Colby guessed, based on the tattoos that poked out from below the cuffs her sleeves. Her long blonde hair hung down her chest in a curtain, partially obscuring the bulging front of her Red and white fair isle sweater. He wryly presumed her bust was probably impressive under her concealing holiday attire, and even if it wasn't she was quite pretty enough to compensate. "Anyway, did you want this wrapped?"

"Um, no, that's okay. I'm in a bit of a hurry." Colby said his eyes snapping up to hers as he shifted on his feet as though to illustrate his desire to leave the over-heated atmosphere of this boutique.

"No problem." she said with a smile, "Less work for me, do you want a bag?"

"Please." Colby nodded before noticing her large silver braces, glittering in the warm light of the store.

With a silent curse Colby chastised himself for checking out the cashier. She was probably still in high school if she was laced up with that kind of hardware. He had no business eyeing anyone under the age of twenty-five, let alone eighteen. God, he needed to get laid.

Taking his bag from her outstretch hand, he smiled back. "Thanks very much."

"No problem." She smiled again, showing off her dazzlingly metallic smile. "Merry Christmas!"

Shaking his head to himself as he trudged up the street in the falling snow, Colby checked his watch again. He was late. Lengthening his strides, he listened to his feet creak through the fresh, powdery snow that was thickening with every hour.

Pausing for a second at the corner of Cedar Avenue and Main Street, Colby took in the picturesque tableau of his hometown, dressed in a blanket of snow, decked for the holidays. It was like standing in a postcard, he thought. The thick white snow draped the cottages and stores with a blanket of frost, fringed with icicles and lights. He especially loved how the bare maples and dark green pines of the surrounding hills looked dusted with snow.

The horn of an approaching train filtered through the muffled quiet of snowfall, its mournful chord echoed half a second later off the hills on the east side of town. Far off enough that Colby relaxed slightly, the tightness in his chest loosening as he crossed the street. Stumbling slightly as his feet slid on the slick compacted snow that had been slowly crushed into ice by dozens of cars that crawled through town.

The station's platform wasn't crowded. Though Colby understood why, it was freezing out here. Rubbing his hands together and wishing he'd remembered to grab his gloves, he squinted through the window and peaked inside: people were crammed onto the tall wooden benches, leaning against the walls, or windows, in line for the restroom or the ticket windows; it looked like chaos. Passengers, porters and people all mixed and mingling, their voices rising and falling in waves, though muffled through the large leaded windows.

Despite the cold, the platform outside was peaceful. Snow filtered down, obscuring the view of the mountains to the east that he knew were there. In fact, the furthest object he could see was the spire of the catholic church on the other side of town; it's dark silhouette ghost like, fading in and out of sight through the flurries against the white sky. Burying his hands in his pockets, Colby gazed up at the original analog clock suspended from the eves of the roof, willing it to speed up time. The sooner the train arrived, the sooner he would be warm. With a grin, Colby recalled stepping off the same train only twenty-four hours prior, exhausted and jet lagged. Only now was he beginning to feel normal, having taken much of that evening to adjust to the time difference and recover from a day of plane, taxi, and train travel.

Coming back to visit his hometown was a rare and expensive once a year feat. Nestled in the mountains far away from his current life, he hardly had the time or expendable income to journey across the continent on a minimum of three different modes of transportation. But Christmas time was special, and as long as his family still called it home, he'd make the trip.

Stomping his feet in a vain attempt to coax some warmth into his freezing legs, his mind returned to scenes like this from years past:

Two years ago: He and his then girlfriend had come home for Christmas, her head turning with every step, her dark blue eyes wide with wonder at the Christmas card she'd stepped into. She'd declared his hometown the most adorable place she'd ever been. Though that wasn't saying much, her parents were from New Jersey. They'd spent the week in town shopping, dining, spending time with his siblings out on the pond when it had frozen hard enough to support their skating. It had been fun, Colby acknowledged, and it was a damn shame they'd split up in the year prior. Sometimes he missed her, when he smelled a whiff of her perfume on a passing stranger, or found a strand of her long blonde hair in his seldom used clothes, a tiny, unknowing memento to the days of yore.

Five years ago: Getting on the train at Union Station, Colby had been delighted to find a cadre of his high school teammates sitting together in the observation car, chatting animatedly about college, life, girlfriends, jobs, and everything that had occurred since they had graduated two years prior. The miles and hours had slid by outside the windows of the train unnoticed by the group of boys who were laughing together, the feeling of camaraderie they'd shared reinforcing the warmth and humanity of the Christmas season in a year that had been cruel and cold to Colby up to that point.

Twenty years ago: A five-year-old Colby raced up and down the platform with his brother as they had waited for the train to arrive. The noon arrival of the eastbound train was always a few minutes late this time of year, and they'd grown impatient waiting with their parents on the benches. Burning off the sugar from the gingerbread cookies they'd consumed earlier that day at a friend's holiday party, the two young boys played tag. Dodging between travel trunks and roller suitcases they shrieked with delight, earning disapproving looks from imperious passengers or hassled porters. When at last, the train pulled into the station, they'd jumped up and down on the spot with excitement as their grandparents stepped off the train, immediately bestowing the boys with rib bending bear hugs (from Grandpa Russ) and a tin of homemade fudge and a pinched cheek apiece (from Grandma Muriel).

Colby smiled to himself, his chin tucked low in the turned-up collar of his coat as he paced slowly up the length of the same platform he'd stepped on and off as a kid, teen, student and now, fully fledged adult. Moments like these, benchmarks in the disorienting avalanche of time were hard notches in his mind. Opportunities to compare year-to-year what life was like exactly one, two, five, twelve or twenty years ago. Though some years in the past had been rougher, or more romantic, he couldn't say many had been more successful.

The whistle of the approaching train pulled Colby from his reminiscing. Standing back to admire a sight he never grew tired of, the large blue, white and gray striped locomotives hissed and squealed as they slid past, their diesel engines humming in low gear as their groaning brakes slowed the train. The slip stream of the passing locomotives blew the snow into thick flurries that eddied and swirled around Colby and the few others occupying the platform. Squinting, Colby watched gleaming sky-blue streamliner coaches adorned with a wide white stripe across the top quarter of the side slide by, their windows flickering by slower and slower, the wheels clacking over the joints in the rail with discernable de-acceleration. Steam hissed from unseen pipes below a the coaches as they passed. From several long distance childhood train trips he'd taken, Colby knew that they were the overnighters—each private cabin complete with a steam powered radiator, private bathroom and a folding murphy bed. He watched his reflection ripple and then still in the foggy windows of the coach cars, as the train slowed finally to a stop with a minor lurch.

The station's modest platform was immediately flooded with people. Passengers spilling from the train and the warm refuge of the depot charged toward the open doors of the other, suitcases, umbrellas, hats and children in hand. It was a scene of iconic holiday travel stress all occurring under the impassive face of the original antique clock whose hands showed it was 12:00 exactly.

Standing back against the yellow painted wall of the depot, Colby's height allowed him to look over many of the heads bobbing in the crowd. His green eyes scanned across the crowd for a familiar face, it's telltale grin and slightly crooked nose. As the minutes passed, the platform emptied. Arriving passengers had sought shelter in the station or had walked down the platform and toward the beckoning windows of the bars, restaurants, hotels and houses beyond. As porters pushed luggage carts toward the baggage cars and the last few tardy people departing hurried through the snow toward their assigned coach, Colby's eyes snagged on a tall figure that stepped down from the doors on the last coach. Suitcase in hand, Fedora slightly askew, Colby didn't need to see his face to know exactly who he was.

"Merry Christmas!" Colby grinned before giving the man a one-armed hug and slap on the back.

"And to you!" his companion rejoined.

"Glad you made it!" Colby stood back and took in the man before him. He was as tall as Colby, but with a more powerful build. His bulk was well contained within a handsome blue peacoat, its collar turned up against the chill and softly falling snow. His large hands were encased in gloves that gripped the handles of his two suitcases tight. If not for the electric smile spread across his face, he'd be an imposing figure.

"You look good, Colby." The man said having performed the same visual once over. "How's the big apple treating you?"

"Fine, just fine." Colby nodded, mostly genuinely. Wordlessly, he took one of the suitcases and the two men walked into the depot.

"How was the trip?" he asked as they walked along the platform.

"Another great ride on the great northern." The man adjusted his hat. "And how's mom? Dad? And Allie?"

"Good, happy to have us all in one place for once." Colby answered, holding the station's door open. "Though, don't let dad start talking about his new obsession."

"Oh no, he back on the hunt for more retro stereo equipment to restore?"

"Worse." Colby answered with a helpless shake of his head. Before he could elaborate, a long blast from the horn of the departing train interrupted them, making several people nearby jump. The clock on the wall of the waiting room showed 12:07. Only seven minutes after pulling into the station, the train was once again eastbound.

"Mind watching the bags while I step into the restroom?"

"Sure." Colby nodded, taking both bags and walking toward a recently vacated bench. Through the windows he watched the sleek blue coaches pick up speed as they slid by.

"Colby?"

Turning his head at the unexpected sound of his name he saw a couple standing by the door to the parking lot. A man and a woman were wrapped in coats and scarves, their cheeks pink with cold and flakes of snow clung to their shoulders. Colby took a long second to recognize them and as he did his heart jumped into an unanticipated gallop.

"Liv? Conner?"

Setting the twin suitcases down, he slid a smile on his face and stuck out a hand.

"Hey! Merry Christmas!" Conner said, gripping Colby's hand with a firm shake. Colby couldn't help but notice the smile didn't reach Conner's eyes. "How've, you been?"

"Good!" Colby had just enough time to say before he was wrapped in a fierce hug by Liv. The gentle floral scent of her perfume crossed his nose as she pulled back, her long dirty blonde hair clinging to his coat with static.

"Oops." She giggled. "It's been so long since ...well, since graduation I guess?"

"Yeah, it's been quite a while," Colby nodded, his eyes flicking from Liv to Conner. Registering the contrast between their expressions put Colby on edge. Liv seemed cheerful, almost excited. Her light blue eyes sparkling, her pale makeup and contour accentuating the bold lines of her long nose and sharp jawline while not quite concealing the multitude of freckles Colby knew speckled across her nose and cheekbones. Conner by contrast, seemed to be guarded or perhaps stressed. His eyes darted between the doors and the milling residual crowd, his face seemed tight as though he were clenching his jaw or chewing a dip of tobacco. The sight of his high school bandmate and friend seemed to bring him no joy. If anything, Colby seemed to sense that Conner was distinctlynothappy to see him.

"What are you guys up to these days? Living in town?" Colby asked, shifting slightly on his feet.

"No, actually, we're in Texas." Conner corrected.

"Texas?!" Colby said in surprise, choosing to ignore Conner's sour expression. "What—?"

"Conner got promoted!" Liv said with a kiss on his cheek and a pat on his arm. "He's a captain now! So, we had to move."

"Oh wow," Colby said with genuine surprise. "That's really exciting. Marines?" recalling briefly Conner mentioning it as one of his possible options post high school.

"Army, actually." Conner said, looking away from Colby. His eyes scanned the station.

"Very cool." Colby said awkwardly, not knowing what to say otherwise and thrown off by the coolness of Conners tone. "And how are you liking Texas?"

"Ugh, love it." Liv gushed, wrapping both hands around Conner's bicep and giving him a look of adoration. "The kids love it too!"

"Oh? Kids?" Colby said with mild surprise, though, he wasn't sure why. Liv and Conner had been married for several years now. He'd received the invitation and seen the wedding photos on Facebook, he'd had to miss the ceremony due to an unyielding travel plan that very same week.

"Yeah, we have two girls" Conner finally smiled, pulling out his phone. Turning it in his hand, Colby saw Conner's lock screen was a photo of two little girls, no more than 3 and 1 wearing white and blue dresses, sitting on the wide steps of a porch, their mother out of focus in the background in the open doorway, leaning against the doorframe. "Eloise and Tessa."

"Lucky ducks" Colby smiled as he looked up from Conners phone. "They clearly get their good looks from their mother." He gave Liv a playful wink.

Liv rolled her eyes in faux exasperation, but Colby could've sworn the pink in her cheeks deepened, and not from the cold.

"So, wait?" Colby said, glancing around their feet and then the station's interior. "Where are they now?" The couple before him was quite child free.

"They're at my parents' house." Conner said, "Getting some long overdue grandparent time."

"I'm sure your folks are delighted." Colby grinned, remembering the maternal natures of Sue and Daniel Gateman. Always bringing brownies to band rehearsals and hosting 'safe prom night' parties that were surprisingly fun, despite being devoid of liquor or other forbidden substances.

"Oh yes!" Liv nodded. "They love being grandparents so much."

"I bet, and you get a little time to yourselves. That must be nice."

An uncomfortable look flickered between Liv and Conner. The lines between his dark eyebrows seemed to deepen as he glanced toward his wife, and she glanced away, examining Colby's shoes. It lasted only a fraction of a second, but for all the subtly of the moment, it might have been an hour-long, very public argument. Clearly, some kind of tension remained unresolved between the two young parents.

"What have you been up to?" Conner asked dryly, covering the moment.

"I've been in New York the last few years." Colby said with a smile he hoped wasn't too smug or too pained.

"Nice." Conner nodded, then motioned to the suitcases. "You just get in?"

"No, I got in yesterday. I'm picking up my brother. He's in the bathroom." Colby hooked a thumb over his shoulder in the general direction of the lavatory. "How long have you guys been in town?"

"Two weeks. We're here to pick up my sister." Conner said, looking around.

Colby was about to ask how his sister was doing, mostly out of courtesy, then decided he didn't care. Bridgette was three years younger than them and had always found a way to get under his skin. In high school, her clique of gossipy friends had been annoying at best.

"Hey, hey! Look who it is!" Colby's brother sidled up, his hands ungloved and outstretched for a handshake.

The two brothers were strikingly similar in appearance. Their tall stature, thick dark beards, broad shoulders and green eyes often caused them to be mistaken for twins. Though Thomas was two years older than Colby, the difference had been mostly erased with age. The most striking difference between their appearances was Thomas' more powerfully built frame, honed by years of manual labor and military service; contrasted with Colby's lean, almost lanky figure. And their hair. Thomas had been close cropping his hair since high school, keeping it short and 'worry free' as he touted. Colby on the other hand had a thick dark quaff of hair. Manicured and conditioned into dark waves that almost always got a compliment or the lingering look of a passing woman. However, today they were both wearing felt fedoras and this difference was rendered invisible.