Crossed Lines PT 13: The Day After

// Lacey's Perspective //

I woke up, hung over, staring at the ceiling with a sore vagina and full of regret.

What have I done?

Did last night really happen? Did I really just cheat on my husband? Every time I blinked, I saw Rick, the guy I slept with last night.

I wasn't that drunk when it happened, but I wish I was. The memory of his fingers digging into my hips was so fresh. Was it bruised, I wondered?

Terrified, I lifted the bed sheet to take a look at my body. I was in nothing but my panties, but I could see a very slight black and blue mark where his fingers were when he lifted me. Fuck, I wish I didn't bruise so easily.

I reached for my neck, anxiously. Did he leave a mark there when his lips kissed me?

I was so ashamed of last night, but when I reimagined what happened, it made me feel so conflicted. I liked the act of our sex, but I didn't like the context. I like putting my mouth all over him in his body, but I didn't like that it wasn't my husband.

What kind of person does that? What kind of wife?

I slowly got out of my bed and peeked outside into the kitchen and living room. Aiden wasn't there, he, or maybe Bri, was in their office.

I was starting to panic about having to face the music. When should I tell him? How should I tell him?

This is gonna devastate him, this is gonna devastate us, this is gonna devastate me.

Should I just tell him immediately and rip the Band-Aid off? Or maybe I should wait till later tonight or tomorrow maybe when things settle a bit between us?

I really didn't know how I would say it to him, but I didn't have a plan, and my thinking was all over the place and erratic.

There was no way that he's not gonna notice that there's something up with me. He notices when I am in the slightest of moods, so he'll definitely know that something's off.

God, how can I buy myself some more time?

I started to recall moments of last night, to try and get a sense of what happened and how to explain myself.

I remember being upset at him for ignoring me. I wasn't even a third wheel last night, I was completely tossed aside. It honestly made me feel like shit.

I guess a part of what happened was his fault too, right?

If she hadn't been so caught up in his female persona, and even just paid a little bit of attention to me or included me somehow in the night, then I would've never met Rick.

Even if I did meet Rick, Bri would have been there and I couldn't have scurried off with him.

I would've never had to leave the club alone or worry about my phone dying.

There is a series of events that all could've been avoided if my husband didn't act so self-centered last night.

I wanted to blame him more for what led to my adultery, but I knew it wasn't right.

But maybe I could use some of his behavior last night against him to buy myself some more time. I know I know, it's really shitty of me. But I just need time to process all this.

I tiptoed into the kitchen for a glass of water, hoping I could get back into the safety of the bedroom.

Aidan must've heard me moving around because out he came. My heart started racing.

He entered quietly, wearing an oversized hoodie and sweatpants, his medium length hair pulled back in a messy bun. His face was bare. No makeup, no contour, no gloss. Just Aiden.

A part of me wished he was dressed as Bri. I would've much rather had to face her this morning than my husband.

He was fully in guy mode. He looked like a ghost. I felt guilty for how he looked, almost as if I had done that to him. He was so skinny in that outfit... one that used to fit him. I didn't realize how much weight he must've lost until seeing him wearing clothes he used to wear.

"Hi," he said softly, but in his male voice.

"Hey," I answered, barely able to meet his eyes.

He slowly strolled into the kitchen, as I stood there next to the kitchen island with my glass of water.

I felt terrified that I was about to have to answer for my absence last night. Terrified that he'd ask me more details about where I was from 2 to 5 AM in the morning. Terrified that I'd have to admit to having another man's cock in my mouth.

I was just waiting for it, waiting for his questions and waiting to figure out what kind of excuse or response I might give him. I still didn't have a plan.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he slowly sat down on the stool on the opposite side of the kitchen island.

"Fine," I said sharply, a little surprised at the underlying but subtle tone of anger that came out in my response.

Aiden sensed my tone and looked down, expressing shame.

"I'm sorry about last night," he spoke again quietly, but looking down this time.

I could, since he was feeling his own version of shame for his behavior and, like an asshole I jumped on it. I took advantage of him in that moment.

"Oh, you're sorry?" I replied, like a stern school teacher. "About what exactly?"

I could tell he was struggling to figure out the words as he began fidgeting and chipping away at his painted fingernails.

I felt horrible seeing him like this. He looked so different from how I normally see him. His thinly plucked eyebrows weren't penciled in nicely. He had hints of makeup still on his face, and his plumped lips were bare with no lipstick or shiny lip gloss.

"I'm sorry for forgetting about you," he finally said.

Although I should be the one apologizing and begging for forgiveness, I was strong enough. I took a cheap way out, the shameful way.

"Forgetting about me? It was way worse than that," I said sternly, unfairly keeping the pressure on him. "I was humiliated, Aiden. You didn't just forget, you ignored me all night while flirting with someone right in front of me. I couldn't watch anymore so I left."

"I know, I'm so sorry," he said, shaking his head.

"I thought we were going to have a fun night together," I said, "But instead I left to fend for myself while you and Tom had your own intimate night together."

"It wasn't intimate, Lacey," he said defensively, "I swear, it wasn't anything like that. It didn't mean anything."

I raised an eyebrow.

"It didn't mean anything?" I asked rhetorically. "Because it looked like you were glued to his side. I watched you. You two were laughing and smiling together. You looked like you two were a couple."

He hesitated, then said, "It was nothing, Lacey... I swear."

"Nothing?" I asked firmly. "You ignored me all night for something that meant nothing to you?"

He looked down, his chipped nail polish catching the light. His hands trembled slightly.

"I meant there was nothing between me and Tom," he said weakly.

"Nothing? You're telling me there was absolutely nothing going on?" I asked accusingly. "Even after we tease the idea of you calling dibs on him? After all that talk about getting a drink bought for you?"

He opened his mouth about to say something before I cut him off.

"I was upset at you for what was going on last night, but I'm actually getting even more upset at the fact that you're trying to pretend like nothing was happening," I said with a harsh tone. "I don't like this feeling where you're telling me it was nothing after a night where he bought you drink after drink."

Aiden just stood there defeated. He knew there was truth to what I said, and that's where I felt I caught him in a lie.

"Look, I don't need you to tell me there's nothing going on to make me feel better," I exclaimed. " I just don't like it that you're in so much denial about something so obvious. It's like you're lying to me or gaslighting me into thinking that I shouldn't trust my own eyes or my own intuition."

Aiden kinda just sat still for a minute, looking like he was trying to figure out what to say. I sort of had him right where I wanted, on the defense.

"So did he get your number?" I asked, hoping he would say yes, so I could continue selfishly berating him.

He let out a slow and long sigh before responding, "Yea."

I shook my head in disappointment, shocking myself at what I had become. No wonder cheaters are so awful, I realized. They become even worse versions of themselves after the adultery.

"So what now? Tom's gonna text you, thinking he's texting some girl when instead he's texting some skinny dude who paints his nails and never leaves the house?"

That was pretty harsh, I know. I was surprised to hear those words leave my mouth. I wanted to punch something and he was the nearest hypothetical punching bag.

But it gave me no relief. Instead, I felt more shameful watching an almost malnourished version of my husband feel guilt for something minor in comparison to what I had done.

I should be the one getting berated. I'm the one who made a series of poor judgment calls. I'm the one who let another man carry me to his bed and put his dick inside me.

As I stared at my husband's faded eyeliner I couldn't help but wish he were Bri right now. It would be so much easier to face her this morning.

So I asked him, just to see what he would say, "Do you think Bri would be more honest with me?"

"Bri? What do you mean?" He responded, finally looking up at me.

"Yea, the girl you like to dress up as," I said rudely. "Maybe she'll tell me what's going on. What do you think?"

Aiden looked a little dumbfounded, unsure of what to say. He stayed silent.

"Do you think she would tell me it was nothing? That there was nothing going on between her and Tom?" I prodded. "I know how exciting she gets talking about guys hitting on her."

"I don't know what to say, Lacey," he said, looking defeated.

I wondered if he would dress up in his female persona if I told him to. I still had the chastity key, so technically, according to our agreement I was still in charge, right?

But would he listen? Do the rules of this weird kink we've been exploring still apply during a tiff like this?

I guess this would be the time to test it out, to see if it transcends the ups and downs of our relationship dynamic.

"Do you like dressing up like Bri? Be honest," I asked.

"Yea, I sort of do," he said, quietly.

"Sort of? Ha!" I laughed, "I think it's more than 'sort of.' You have lip fillers and more sets of lipstick than I do, Aiden."

I could feel him shying away from the conversation.

"Yea, I guess I do like it, more than I'd like to admit," he stated.

"Is that why you spoil me with cooked meals and a clean house," I started asking, "So you get to dress up more without me saying anything?"

"Yea, a little bit," he said, nervously.

"You know what?" I said, with a bit more bite, "If you like dressing up so much, go get dressed."

"What?" He asked, blinking quickly.

"I said, 'If you like dressing up so much, go get dressed,'" I repeated, pointing toward his office.

Aiden looked at me, uneasy and a bit stunned.

"Well?" I said, my eyes locked on him. "What are you waiting for?"

"Lacey... I don't think now would be a good time," he pleaded.

My expression hardened and my voice grew sharp. I couldn't have him pushing back on me right now in my delicate state.

"You really think I care if you want to play dress-up or not right now?" I snapped with my arms crossed.

Aiden flinched. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. His face was pale, eyes wide, lips slightly parted.

"Do you think you can just become Bri whenever you want and then when you fuck up, you can just switch back to Aiden like nothing happened?" I continued.

"No, I... I don't think that. I'm sorry you feel that way," Aiden finally said as he slowly rose from the stool he sat in.

"I feel that way because that's what's happening. I've never seen you transform from Bri to Aiden so quickly overnight." I shook my head and stepped back.

"I never really thought about it that way, but I can see where you're coming from," Aiden said.

"You can't just hide Bri when you do something shitty," I said, looking sternly at him.

"That's not what I'm doing," Aiden replied, pushing back on my assertion.

"Oh really? That's not what you're doing?"I said more as a statement than a question. "You know what? I'm not having this conversation with you anymore. I'm tired of you acting like none of this is going on when it's clear as day, Aiden. Go get dressed right now."

Aiden slumped away, walking awkwardly into the bedroom.

"And don't half-ass it either," I said, just before he walked through the door. "I want you to put in just as much effort getting ready for me as you would for Tom."

// Bri's Perspective //

Her words stung, but you know what? I was relieved she didn't stop me from crossdressing ever again. I was almost certain she would take that away from me, from never dressing up as Bri.

It would have made sense if she did that. I let this hobby get out of control. For christ's sake, I have hormones coming in the mail from Planned Parenthood! What partner would be OK with any of this?!

I consider myself pretty lucky.

But even with all that going on I felt so conflicted as I shuffled my way into the bedroom. On the one hand I loved dressing up as Bri, but on the other hand I felt like I needed to be Aiden to focus on our relationship.

I entered the bedroom and lingered for a moment, staring blankly at the closet, waiting for that excitement to kick in every time I started dressing up.

Like muscle memory I turned on a girly playlist, the one I only listen to when I'm Bri. Soft indie-pop, feminine voices, something gentle that aligns with the mindset I'm getting into.

I grabbed a towel, a set of pink sweats, and my wig before heading quickly into the bathroom. There I stared at my reflection. Aiden looked like shit. I barely slept and I was a little hungover. I was puffy-eyed, pale, my brows were uneven and my lips dry.

I clicked the can of shaving cream and started with my face. I only had one laser hair removal treatment, so some stubble was starting to show. I then shaved my chest, arms, and legs. Every motion made me feel better, like I was shaving off the ick.

After a quick shower I wrapped the towel tightly around my flat chest, like a woman would. My body always felt awkward after I shaved. It felt soft in a way that made me self-conscious but euphoric at the same time. I dried off and slipped into the pink sweats I'd laid out earlier. They were loose, cozy, and just enough of a buffer while I did my makeup.

I started with moisturizer, feeling the cool sensation set into my raw skin. My foundation looked a little cakey, probably because I was dehydrated. So I grabbed a concealer and carefully dabbed it under my eyes. Each layer brought Bri back to life a little.

I took my time with the brows. They weren't perfect, but I reshaped them with a soft pencil, brushing them upward and giving myself a young and innocent wide-eyed look.

A little blush on my cheeks for some color, soft eyeliner to draw attention to the eyes, then two coats of mascara. For the lips I went with something subtle and pink, a gloss that made my lips look soft and cute.

Then came the hair.

I used clips to tamp down my medium length hair before slipping on the wig, adjusting the inner strap until it fit snug. I pinned it down in the right places, fluffed the curls, and spritzed it lightly with a conditioning mist. It smelled like strawberries and vanilla, Bri's scent. I didn't even realize how much comfort that smell gave me until I caught it in the air.

I took a step back to give myself a once-over in the mirror. There she was... me. My makeup was subtle, quiet, maybe a little fragile, but it felt perfect. I tilted my head and touched the edge of my wigline, smoothing it down. I puckered my lips, not out of vanity, but as a final check.

Lacey wouldn't be mean to me looking like this, right?

I slipped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. Lacey didn't say anything as she sat on a stool by the kitchen island.

In the underwear drawer I grabbed a light peach colored panty and bra set. I slipped them on and then stuffed the bra with some breast forms that gave me a nice simple B-cup.

I opened the closet door and found a cream linen sundress with frilly straps. I loved how girly it made me look, especially with the frilly straps that feminized my shoulders. I slipped it on, feeling it slid over my freshly shaved skin. I zipped the side and let it hang naturally. It fit tight and was a bit elastic around my chest, showing off my bust.

It had just enough shape to make me feel feminine without being clingy. Then I adjusted the straps and twirled once, slowly in front of the mirror.

I then put on some cute knee high socks over my smooth womanly legs before slipping my feet into white shoes with ankle straps.

I love ankle straps on a shoe. Buckling them felt like I was locked in somehow. Like I was committed.

I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked pretty and adorable. It must have been intentional, to dress myself in such an innocent way as to avoid any more of Lacey's wrath.

It also felt so comforting, like my safe space.

I lingered for a moment, hands at my sides, just breathing into the mirror.

I then started to worry about what Lacey said about Bri being more honest than Aiden. Will she pester me with questions? I wondered.

In a lot of ways she wasn't wrong about the honesty part. I guess I just felt embarrassed, in guy mode, admitting that I was desperately trying to pass as a woman by flirting with a straight guy.

I couldn't admit it. I couldn't smile about it, or blush, or look shy about it, the way Bri can.

I took a deep breath, feeling the bra tighten around me before heading into the kitchen. I gently tapped my nails on the door as I opened it, already posing without thinking. One leg slightly bent, shoulders soft, chin tilted to the side.

Lacey turned to look at me. She assessed me up and down. To my relief her expression softened.

"What do you think?" I asked gently, offering a smile that I hoped said, I'm innocent and helpless. Please don't hate me.

I wanted her approval so bad.

"You look really stunning," she said, surprising me.

"Thanks," I said quietly, shifting my weight like a bashful teen. I wanted to ask her what she liked most. Was it the dress? The curls? The pink lip gloss? But I knew better.

"Are you gonna make breakfast for me?" she asked, tone clipped and casual, like a manager.

"Of course," I said, already turning.

I liked the task, the assignment. Bri could cook, and she was confident doing so.

I leaned into that confidence, it felt good. I wrapped an apron tight around my waist and went to work.

I made eggs, avocado toast with goat cheese and sliced tomatoes. I then poured some juice and served Lacey.

"Thanks," she said, without looking up from her computer.

"Anything else I can get for you?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "I just wish you were this considerate last night."

My heart clenched.

"I know, Lacey," I said calmly. "I wish I could have a redo. Or at least a way to make it up to you."

"You want to make it up to me?" she asked, finally looking up at me. "How?"

I stood frozen for a second, like she wanted me to come up with an answer right away.

"I don't know yet," I said, speaking fully like a girl, higher pitched and soft.

Lacey tapped a few keys on her laptop, then stopped. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard. Her face didn't move. But I could feel the weight of her attention.

"Maybe I can plan our next vacation?" I suggested. "We could go to a resort hotel, maybe somewhere in Vegas so we don't have to travel far. Or if we did a staycation? I could find us a nice place locally that has a pool and room service."

"A pool?" Lacey replied. "But you don't even have a swimsuit."

Her reply confused me at first. What does she mean by swimsuit?

"I have several pair of swim trunks," I replied with some confusion in my voice.