I Loved the Bitch

(This story is the property of its author, H. K. Smythe. Any unauthorized reproduction or reprint without the express authorization of the author is strictly prohibited. Characters under 18 do not engage in sexual activity. This is a twenty-four hour wonder, as in I conceived it last night and posted it today.)

(This story is the property of its author, H. K. Smythe. Any unauthorized reproduction or reprint without the express authorization of the author is strictly prohibited. Characters under 18 do not engage in sexual activity. This is a twenty-four hour wonder, as in I conceived it last night and posted it today.)

I Loved the Bitch

I Loved the Bitch

Gregory Malone

I loved Mary Alice Anderson, but I just couldn't take the cheating.

We had been married eight years and had three children when I first found out that she had cheated.

We met in college and married at graduation. We did everything right. We had a few dates. Then we decided that there was something there and became exclusive. I proposed during our senior year and she accepted. She was an accountant and I was in sales. We moved to Houston where we both got jobs and started saving for a down payment on a house. We had friends from college, from our workplaces, and neighbors from where we lived. We had an actual social life, which was a couple of parties a month and an occasional night out for dinner and clubbing. After she got her CPA and we had money set aside, she became a stay-at-home mom.

One Friday night there was a neighborhood party. We had already arranged for my parents to babysit our kids and MA was at my parents' house when I called her and told her I would be delayed for a couple of hours. I could tell she was very disappointed. She admitted that she was looking forward to the party since she hadn't gone anywhere in a couple of weeks. I told her to go ahead to the party, and as soon as I could, I would go to the party direct from work. The problem at work was with a West Coast supplier and it was taking forever to resolve the issue.

I didn't get to the party until almost ten and it was in full swing. It was a madhouse with wall to wall people downstairs and a sizable overflow in the backyard. It took me almost to eleven to determine that she had been at the party but had apparently left before I got there. As far as I could tell she left alone, but when I got home, around eleven-thirty, she was nowhere to be seen. I was tired so I took a shower and got ready for bed. Around twelve-fifteen, I texted her asking her, 'Where R U?" When I got no reply in fifteen or twenty minutes, I tried calling her cell phone, and also got no response. I went to bed, thinking that things would be better in the morning.

I woke up a little after eight and she still hadn't shown up nor responded to my text or call. I called both sets of our parents and again there was no increase in knowledge. I went and picked up the kids around ten, and they were soon playing in the backyard. I was watching TV but mostly stewing while sipping a cup of coffee when she showed up about eleven.

She greeted me, "Hi, Greg! Did you make it to the party last night?"

I said, trying to hold my temper, "I went to the party. I couldn't find you there, so I went home. Let me call our parents and let them know that you finally graced us with an appearance."

She replied, "I'm sorry, honey. There just wasn't a good time to give you an update."

I responded, "You couldn't even send a text?"

She answered, "I could have. I should have. I'm sorry, Greg. This is new to me, too!"

I summarized, "At least I got a weak apology. Do you want to share what happened last night?"

She asked me, "Do you really want me to share what I was doing last night?"

I laid it out for her, "I love you, MA, so, of course, I'm interested in what you did last night and this morning. I was worried about you. Our parents were worried about you. The children seem to be all right with you not being here. I have no idea what I should be thinking right now. Was this a one-time thing? Do you want a divorce? Do I want a divorce? I have no idea why or what happened to you in the last twelve or fourteen hours."

She spoke slowly and thoughtfully, "I love you, Greg. What I want most, now, is to make love to you. I can understand that we're not quite in the same place with regard to the last twelve or fourteen hours. I wasn't ashamed last night, but in the light of day, I am a little ashamed of myself. I realize that what I did last night could be hurtful to you, and I have absolutely no desire to hurt you."

I told her, "I feel like if we made love without talking about what happened, that would be saying it was okay with me. It wasn't okay with me. I'd like to go on the way we were, but things have changed and I don't think we're on the same page. I have a general idea of what happened last night, but nothing to base my life on going forward."

She responded, "Let me take a shower, drink some coffee, and have some breakfast, and I'll try to explain everything to you."

I said, "I had a waffle and bacon for breakfast; is that okay for you?"

She explained, "Give me a few minutes to get myself together and I'll try to answer all your questions."

In about thirty minutes she was back downstairs. Damn, she was looking good. I had put her waffle on when I heard the shower stop, so her hot breakfast was laid out for her: coffee, OJ, waffle, and bacon.

She started her narrative, "First, Greg, I love you very much. I really don't want any big changes in our lives."

I responded, "I've already told you that I love you. You're leaving the way open for small changes?"

She said, "I think your feelings for me have already changed somewhat. That's on me, not you. I'm sorry about that!"

I replied, "Continue."

She continued, "I went to the party in a bad humor because you weren't going to be there for a while. To get over that, I drank too much. I had dressed for you, but the ones who appreciated it were some guys at the party. I had three or four guys chatting me up all through the early evening. Then the dancing started, and I enjoyed dancing with the guys who had been coming on to me. There was some touching going on of questionable appropriateness. All the dancing and touching had aroused me, and I was feeling like I wanted some loving. There was one guy in particular who was coming on to me. He was a few years younger than us, but very handsome. I was especially attracted to him. We went out on the back porch to cool off from the dancing, and what started off as a friendly kiss developed into full-up making out. I was ready for action, and you were nowhere to be seen. He suggested we go for a drive, and I wasn't at all surprised that we ended up at his apartment. We had a drink, made out for a while on his sofa, and ended up naked in his bed. I knew I shouldn't be doing it, but it felt so good. This guy knew how to fuck and he fucked me thoroughly the first time. There was hardly a break before we were going at it again. I don't know how to explain it, but I became a slave to my body. Just like you, he was a good kisser. He was a little larger than you and like I said, he knew what he was doing. I have to admit that the naughtiness of cheating turned me on. It was two weeks after my period so I was probably also primed by ovulation. I thoroughly enjoyed fucking him. The rest of the night we slept in each other's arms for a while, then we would start kissing, or licking, or sucking and soon we would be fucking again. I suppose I wasn't fully satiated until this morning. Same for him. We didn't even exchange phone numbers. It was a night of passion, and I enjoyed it, but it's you I love, and I finally came to my senses and got him to take me to my car. By that time, he was happy to get rid of the old lady."

I said, "You just ignored my texts and calls."

She explained, "I should have at least texted you back. It was a little embarrassing to not know where I was or even what the guy's last name was. I was in the throes of passion and when I got your first text, I turned my phone off. I shouldn't have done that either and I'm sorry. I know that when you have a relationship you need to communicate and I took the night off. I'm sorry about that, too! Perhaps this is the wrong thing to say, but I'll try to do better if there's ever another episode. I'm not planning on ever doing this again, but I didn't plan this one, either."

I inquired, "Where does that leave me? You're saying it could happen again. I'm not sure I want that kind of relationship. I'm not sure I can trust you with my love, anymore!"

She responded, "Greg, I'm so sorry. I know I've behaved like a slut and that what I did hurt you. I guess I was a little pissed off at the start of the evening, but I never set out to hurt you. I did decide that I wanted to have a good time even if you weren't there."

I summarized, "It seems that you had a very good time, independent of your family - your husband and your children."

She responded, "I don't regret what I did, but I do have some regrets about the way it all went down. I should have given you some warning - at least a heads up when I knew how things were going. I should have responded to your texts and calls, that was very inconsiderate of me. I know I disappointed you, and even hurt you, and I should have at least been more concerned about how you, the most important person in my life, would be taking this. Greg, you've been very calm. How angry are you with me? I don't want a break up or any kind of estrangement from you. Tell me what you're feeling, Greg!"

How did the bitch think I was feeling? She was the center of my life and she went off and gave a stranger what was supposed to be unique between us. I was afraid to say anything because I didn't want to destroy our relationship.

I told her, "I'm still taking all this in. I am feeling anger, hurt, fear - I'm feeling some positive things, too, but I think I just need some time to myself. I have to figure out for myself what my way forward is."

She explained, "I'm sorry, Greg. I see now I handled this badly. There's also a strong argument that I shouldn't have done it. Greg, I don't regret doing it, but I regret not minimizing your disappointment, worry, and pain. I guess I have to live with your thinking of the way out of this as yours, not ours. I certainly regret that."

I told her, "I think I want to go away for a while. We'll talk again tonight."

She seemed to be speaking from the heart when she said, "Greg, I know I've hurt you and you're probably thinking of me now as a cheating slut, but Greg, if you dump me, it would destroy me."

I reassured her, "I'm not thinking of dumping you, now, but I don't think a way forward for us is all that clear, either."

She apologized, "I'm sorry to put us through this, Greg!"

I picked up my keys and wallet and headed for the garage.

I decided to go to a nearby bar that I occasionally went to. My purpose was just to have a beer or two and think things through. Maybe watch some sports TV while doing so.

I thought that what we had before last night was great. One question was that although we couldn't go back to the way things were, how much of that did we still have or how much of that could we regain. Did last night establish a somewhat open marriage going forward. As far as I could determine, our marriage was already too open for my liking. I knew that some husbands liked the idea of a hot wife. I didn't, and certainly not if it included not knowing who she was with, what she was doing, and when would she be back?

I was pretty sure she had been brutally honest. I believed her story that she had had great sex with the guy and that she had no plans to see him again. She could run into him again at another party but there would be no malice aforethought. In a way that was bad in another way. I also didn't like the twelve or fourteen hours of uncertainty. I know the old saying, 'once a cheater, always a cheater.' I actually believed 'twice a cheater, always a cheater.' As far as I knew, this was the only time the bitch had cheated on me.

I knew that I didn't want her to cheat again. I knew that we had had a good relationship. I didn't believe that it was totally destroyed, just somewhat damaged. This also raised the question of what cheating was. There was no doubt in my mind that her fucking another man when I thought she was still following our marital vows was cheating. If I had known about it before the fact, was it still cheating. If she was going to go home with someone else, did I want to be at the party where it happened? I had no problem answering that question. If hooking up at a party wasn't cheating it was sure disrespectful of me as her mate as well as the vows symbolized by her rings.

I decided I was willing to talk about our way forward. It doesn't mean that we were going to find a mutually acceptable way forward. I think I could tell her that another episode like last night's would be the end. That was wrong because it not only violated fidelity but also trust and respect. I knew that at least some of our mutual friends knew that I had been cuckolded when I had believed she would do nothing of the kind.

I knew that tonight's discussion would be difficult and I certainly had no prediction of what the outcome would be. I had made assumptions about MA and our relationship, which plain and simple weren't valid.

I went home thinking I at least had isolated what was important to me in our 'talk.' I told MA that I wanted to hold off on her discussion until after the children were in bed. She at least had the decency to look concerned.

We started off at the dining room table - her with wine, and me with coffee as I had drunk enough beer throughout the afternoon.

She started by asking, "What did you come up with?"

I explained, "I don't like what you did; it was made worse by the lack of forewarning and the lack of communication."

She said, "I have no plans for any kind of a repetition. I can't guarantee that I won't ever do something similar. I can promise that I will do a better job of communicating with you, before and during any such episode."

I informed her, "I had hoped for more. That seems like a pretty weak response."

She replied, "I am who I am. I am a woman of passions and desires. I'm trying to be realistic. I know this is not going to be easy for either one of us. I will say this, when it comes to saving our relationship, everything is negotiable."

I responded, "I do want to save the relationship. I think I still don't fully understand what happened last night and why it happened."

She started another narration, "It happened because I temporarily became a horny slut, brought on in part by alcohol and ovulation. I saw a hunk and decided I wanted to fuck him. It was no more and no less. Although I took temporary leave from my marriage and my children, I still loved you and I do feel badly that I caused you so much pain and upset. The fact remains that I thoroughly enjoyed the fuckfest and realistically, it could happen again, even though it never happened before, at least during our marriage."

I explained my position, "The thing is, I'm risking my love for you. I just want to feel a little safer than I do now."

She responded, "Right now I feel the strongest sexual attraction for you that I've felt in several years. It's in the same ballpark as what I felt for Rick last night, but that was without the additional emotion that I have for you. I'm not sure I can totally explain what the difference is between what I feel for you now and what I felt for Rick last night."

She kissed me on the cheek, "Please, love me now, as only you can."

I'm only a man. I was feeling the same kind of pull toward her that she had just described as her having for me. I kissed her back, deeply with tongue. We retired to the bedroom. By the time we got our clothes off, I was approaching painfully hard, and she was soaked. We put our uglies together and it was like the first time I ever made love to her. Our first round lasted fifteen or twenty minutes and she came four times. A brief break and then our second round lasted close to thirty minutes and she had six orgasms.

We went to sleep, holding each other, kissing, and saying how much we loved each other. I guess I had implicitly forgiven her. I didn't know if I had learned any lessons or if she had. At least we were good until the next time. I wished there was more but there wasn't. Perhaps, certainty in human relationships doesn't exist.

Our uncertainty was resolved three years later after the birth of our fourth child. We were at another house party in a neighboring suburb. There were twin African American young men there who introduced themselves as Ronnie and Donnie. Most of the evening either MA was flanked by them while drinking at our table, or she was dancing with one or both of them. They were both good looking and apparently had strong lines of palaver although from the other side of the table and with the sounds of the party, I heard very little of it. Through a couple of hours of party time, I managed three dances with her. I did dance a few times with other women.

As it approached midnight, and I sat down in my place at the table, MA came over and sat down next to me. "Greg, you know that I love you more than anything else in the world." I knew what was coming before she said it, "I'm going home with Ronnie and Donnie. I'll see you tomorrow morning. Do you want me to text you what's going on?"

I really didn't know how to reply. I was informed that she would be fucking Ronnie and Donnie for the rest of the night, and that if I wanted, she would be texting me updates on her progress. I decided that I didn't have to read her texts, so I responded, "Yes."

She returned and whispered something to one of the brothers, and then she left with her partners for the night. I finished my beer and then I also left. By the time I got to my car, I had received her first text, 'At the twins' place.'

By the time I reached what had been our home, I received another text, "In bed with both guys."

I decided to drink one more beer and watch some TV before going to bed. About halfway through my beer, her text said, 'First round was fantastic. Ronnie lubing my ass.'

Did I actually request these updates? I managed to finish my beer and then took a shower before going to bed. When I got out of the shower, there was a text waiting, 'Just had my first double penetration. It was Ou La La! I need some more of this!'

At that moment, I began to accept that our marriage was probably over. I went to sleep, or maybe I just passed out with the amount of beer I had drunk. I woke up around ten and went to get the kids. I didn't look at any more of her texts until noon and she still hadn't come home. I looked at her last text, which came in around eleven, 'Guys still energetic. Will be a while longer.' Apparently this was going to be a long afternoon. Finally, around four she showed up. It was obvious that she was feeling very good and thoroughly fucked. She couldn't look me in the eye. Probably because I was looking at her with disbelief as to what a slut she was.

She finally deigned to speak, "Honey, I'm sorry to be so late. The guys were so insistent. They want to have me again next weekend. I told them okay, provided you were okay with it. Are you okay with it?"

I replied, "Why don't you go see them tomorrow night after work? I'll take care of the divorce paperwork."

She responded, "Honey, please don't be that way!"

I told her, "I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness. I would like to have joint custody of the children. Will you be moving your guys into what was our home?"

She did seem a little surprised at my attitude, "Honey, I still love you."

I interrupted, "Not as much as you once did and not as much as you love your black boyfriends."

She explained, "I still love you. I still want you. But I do want them as well."

I replied, "But you don't love me as much as you once did."