Let Your Dignity Drop Away Ch. 09

It was all so surreal. He stood up, got dressed, and left her there. One position, twenty minutes, not a word spoken to her, not even now. She was splayed out on the bed, cum leaking out of her cunt, spit on her face. Shell-shocked, naked, and her hand already creeping towards her leaking pussy, in anticipation of his departure. It would numb the numbness, she thought. It had to. It had to.

* * *

Jade was shocked awake by the sound of her bedroom door opening. When her eyes shot open, she pulled her fingers out of her cunt instinctively, where they'd been buried while she was accidentally napping. They were sticky, stickier than her usual mess. It took her a split second to remember that Freddie had finished inside her. Her housemate. Had bred her. How long had she been out for?

Her bedroom reeked of sex. Her own scent, Lucy's and Freddie's; cum, slick and sweat dancing around each other in the atmosphere. She looked up to the door to see Karli closing it behind her. Karli, the architect. Karli, the spider.

She scooted back on the bed, wrapping her arms around her knees, forming a kind of upright ball. Not so much physically shy, but emotionally shattered and defending herself with everything she could muster. She could feel Freddie's load leaking out of her onto her bedsheets. She felt disgusting. She felt psychologicallydone.

Karli was standing just inside the doorway of her room. Jade's unravelling brain remembered times just weeks ago when they'd done their make-up together in here. Gotten dressed together in here. Talked aboutboystogether in here.

Now Karli was a predator, and she was prey.

She felt rage rising from places deep within her. A steady chemical reaction, spiked with sadness. It built and built. The dazed shock of the morning had worn off with the brief sleep she'd gotten after Freddie had left. In its place was real, raw betrayal. It burned her insides, caustic and volatile. And as Karli took a step towards her bed, it erupted, albeit quietly.

"Get out."

Jade's voice was almost a whisper, but firm. She was a puppet tired of its master. Tired of dancing on a motherfucking string.

Karli paused where she stood, genuinely afraid to come closer. There was ugly, roaring electricity in the air, like when clouds gather, threatening to break a heatwave. Pressure rising. She was clearly processing and contemplating the situation. But her face didn't show any signs of contrition whatsoever.

"Well, that's not happening," Karli replied.

Direct, but calm. It infuriated Jade. Reminded her of how she'd felt in the club, when all the turmoil in her head had risen to the surface, craving a fight, only to be left without anything to scratch at. And here was the same. She felt her anger rising as Karli just left her smooth-edged refusal hovering in the space between them for what seemed like an eternity.

"I've got NOTHING ELSE IN ME, Karli. Fucking nothing. You win, okay? You win. But I don't think that's going to be fun for you. Not for long, anyway. Because I'm just FUCKING EMPTY." Her eyes were watering but she was determined not to cry in front of this girl. This heartless, manipulative monster.

Karli sat down gently on the bottom end of the bed. Jade flinched, bringing her knees up against herself tighter like a threatened hedgehog.

"Oh, sweetie." Karli tilted her head in what seemed like sympathy. "You really won't get far guessing what's fun for me. Even I don't know what's fun for me, really. But I am slowly figuring it out. And right now, it involves you." She smiled a smile that was halfway between loving and evil, and somehow both at once.

Jade snapped back. Their "protocol" was decidedly on pause.

"Fine. Fine. I get it. You hate me. Seeing me suffer is fun for you. I get it, Karli. But I'm done. I quit. No amount of shame and humiliation is worth - this. Whatever this is. Whatever the fuck this is." Her voice was shaking with intensity. She was staring straight at Karli, eyes locked and bolted.

Karli shuffled up the bed a few inches, still sitting off to the side, turning to look at the pale girl coiled up on her pillow.

"You're catastrophising, Jade."

Jade hissed back. She knew she was pushing her luck, but if we're using poker terms, she was all-in.

"How in the ever-loving fuck am I catastrophising? Hello? You've turned me into anactual sex toyfor my housemates. My housemates, who now think I'm unsafe to be around. You've been tormenting me for days, screwing with my mental health. And you've got zero intention of letting up. So yeah. You win. You win, Karli. You win,Miss. I'm nothing. Have fun blackmailingnothing."

She broke into a flood of tears, now she'd said her piece. She felt so trapped. The spiderweb was clinging to her every thought and cell.

Karli swung her legs up onto the bed and turned to face Jade with a serious look on her face. Not angry or stern. Instead, concerned. It threw Jade for a loop to see it.

"Jade, look." She paused, as though genuinely considering her next words. "I'm not going to pretend I'm sitting here feeling all guilty. God knows I know exactly what I'm doing, and I'm having fun doing it."

Jade glowered at her, teeth gritted, on the brink of properly snapping.

"But I know full well you've actually enjoyed getting your buttons pushed. In the lecture hall, in your room, in the club bathroom."

Jade shook her head and interrupted. "No. No, that's not true. Being horny is not the same as enjoying something. You haven't been inside my head. It's been miserable, Karli. Absolutely fucking miserable."

"Nowthat'snot true. I've definitely been inside your head. And I'm not just making a joke. I know you're angry, but you know as well as I do that you've feltseen. Understood. Even if you've hated it, as you claim."

Jade just stayed silent. She did not want to respond to that assertion.

"It's been miserable because you've needed it to be miserable. I'm not saying I'm some kind of good samaritan. But there is a timeline somewhere where a Jade who's less terrified of her own shadow doesn't beat herself half to death about taking nudes in a lecture hall or cumming in a club bathroom."

"I haven't beaten myself up about the acts themselves. You've been threatening me. It's. Been. Non. Consensual." She spelled it out for her.

Karli leaned forwards. "Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot, Jade. I've cummed to your desperate panic several. Fucking. Times. But that's not the point. We both know that coercion and abuse is a huge part of what gets you going. We both knew it ages ago, and the last few days have proven it."

"It's fantasy, you fucking lunatic!"

"It doesn't fucking look like fantasy. But you keep resisting things that could easily make you feel good or turn you on, because it's easier to pretend they scare you than accept that you like them. Fuck, maybe it's worse than that. Maybe your brain screams "run!" because running makes you leak.

Jade blushed and scowled and didn't say a word.

"And then there's Isaac, last night."

Jade scowled at Karli. "No, fuck no. That wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to go home with a nice guy after you'd driven me to oblivion in the bathroom. And you paid the guy to fucking do it."

Karli gave her bad language a stern look, twisting the knife a little. "That's the whole point, Jade. All of this is about your expectations. About how you approach it. I've seen your browsing history, I've heard you growl and trance out and cheer on sick, misogynistic, degrading shit from behind your computer screen. So Iknowyou want to be treated like an object, Jade. And you hate that you can't hide it from me. I'm sure you hate me for lots of reasons, but that's definitely one of them. So Isaac? Being degraded and talked to like that is everything you love. You just don'twantto love it."

This was fuckingbewildering, and triggering in so many ways. Jade took a deep breath and put her face down into her knees. "Karli, I was happy. I was happy living my life, going to lectures,with you, having friends. I have... I watch some fucked up porn. I have some pretty extreme fantasies. But I was totally fucking fine just keeping that between me and my fingers. And then you fucked everything up."

Karli smiled, in spite of Jade's bad language and general demeanour. "I know, I know. You were totally fine. But that was no fun for me. You know, all this time and you haven't even asked me once whatI'minto. What turnsmeon. That's kind of self-centred of you."

Now it's just plain sadistic, Jade thought.Unhinged.Karli was so good at making seemingly logical connections between things, in order to make the patently outlandish feel perfectly sensible.

"I assume you're into watching people suffer, Karli. Because that's all you seem to care about with me."

"No, no, no. No, Jade. I think, really, I'm into... Change. Evolution. Growth, maybe. But downwards, rather than upwards or sideways. Lust. Depravity. Corruption. I'm not completely oblivious to my own flaws. Suffering is a part of it, definitely. But the suffering has to have apoint, I guess. And for me that point is always... I like to watch girls get reshaped. Remoulded. Reconfigured."

"And that's what riled me so much about you, I guess. Swanning around York like a perfect, pristine little girl, shy and innocent and quiet andfine, when I could see the hot little bombshell you could actually be. I knew you were a degenerate, even before I saw the porn you're into. And if there's one thing I hate, it's a waste of fucking sexual potential."

Jade's breathing had almost stopped in the midst of Karli's adamant self-righteousness. She was having a violent reaction to the conversation, almost allergic. She was sweating as though she had a fever. She gripped the bedsheets with her toes and stared at Karli for a minute. Two. Three. Karli let the silence hang.

Jade's internal monologue was a mess of voices talking over each other.

Many of them were frankly calling for violence. She had spent four days imagining herself face to face with her blackmailer, contemplating all the things she would do when she saw "him". And now... here she was. So why was she sitting still in a near-fetal position rather than bashing Karli's skull in with a snowglobe?

A bunch more voices were begging her to surrender. Not to Karli, but to despair.Burn it all down,they pleaded. It was all so fucked up. She needed to run away. Move city. Start again. Go to therapy.

And then, right at the back of her head, there was a solitary voice. It started out quiet, and got shoved to the rear wall by more boisterous ideas. It got out-jostled and elbowed in the face. But it kept coming back, as the silence stretched out. A little louder. Still solitary, but more insistent. Until it barged its way to the front of her thoughts.

Holy shit. She's as fucked up as you are.

Her eyes widened. She didn't know what to think about it, how to process that idea, at all. She did notice that her cunt had started to tingle a little. But it was much more complex than that. It really, really was.

Evolution. Depravity. A waste of potential.

She pushed it back down. Boxed it back up.

"No. You don't get to try to build bridges with me. You've ruined my fucking life, Karli. Decimated my future. In four fucking days."

Karli rocked back and forth a little on the bed, slowly. "That's what I mean by catastrophising. Nobody beyond these walls knows anything. Your future is fine, for the time being. And there's no reason that needs to change. It's a controlled system, at the moment."

Jade pushed back immediately. "You know what York is like, Karli. It's a small city. There's no way this is going to stay a secret. If it were just you, I could maybe believe it. But Lucy, Freddie, Stephen... they're just... students." She wanted to say that they weren't like her and Karli. But something stopped her. "Everybody in all my classes will know within a week."

"Well, that's where I can maybe help you."

Jade looked at her. Skeptical would be the understatement of the century.

Karli stood up slowly and walked over to the wall opposite the headboard of Jade's bed before doing a dramatic spin to face Jade again.

"What do you see?" She gestured at the white wall like some magician showing off a trick.

Jade was confused as fuck. "Erm. Nothing? A wall?"

"Precisely. But..." She jumped back onto the bed with a sort of enthusiasm that made Jade queasy, and pulled out her phone. "That's just because the spycam is really, really expensive."

Holy fuck. This girl wasinsane.Certifiable.

Jade watched a semi-aerial shot of her bedroom, obviously taken from that very same wall, on fast-forward. Her mouth hung open as she saw herself enter the room, move her books and sit down on the bed. On the screen she stripped in panic after hearing Lucy on the stairs. Lucy sat on her face and brought herself to orgasm. Freddie used her like a blow-up sex doll.

Back in the present moment, Jade's face went scarlet red and she felt a rush between her legs. The pieces fell into place. Everybody was standing in gasoline, but only she and Karli knew it. And Karli was the only one with any matches.

"I... I don't..." Jade struggled for words.

"So yeah. I really, truly don't expect they'll go broadcasting anything anyway. I really did make it clear this morning, that if they kept you around as their little... stress toy... it would be very dumb to tell anybody else what they were doing. But if they do... I've got your back, Jade. Our backs."

Jade put her face in her hands, her sense of overwhelm not improving with this mountain of new information. She did feel weirdly protected by the spycam. Almost grateful. She gritted her teeth at how fucking ludicrous that sounded. She wasgratefulthat this psycho had installed a camera in her bedroom to record her housemates using her sexually.Yeah. Wow. Totally a normal thing to fucking think.

She felt dizzy again. Mentally disorientated. The sands of her life kept shifting, the goalposts a blur.

So she threw her metaphorical arm up for a helping hand. Something to cling onto.

"So what doyouwant?"

Karli thought for a second. "Well, in case it's not obvious already, I don't actually want to ruin your life. You can take that as you want. I guess you could see that as license to stop being scared of me, if you want. But I'm like a kid with a favourite toy. I will lash the fuck out if it gets taken away."

Against her will, Jade felt her cunt pulse at Karli's... possessiveness?

"So whatdoI want? I want you to gradually, irreversibly, let go of your precious sense of dignity, Jade. I want you to sink into quicksand. Within the controlled system I've built for you. I want you to ace your classes, but be constantly desperate for study time to be over so that dumb cunt play time can start again. I want you to keep... evolving. Devolving."

She edged even closer to Jade, sitting just a foot away now from the slim, pale girl, still hunched up anxiously.

"And I want to fucking watch."

Jade exhaled. And that voice at the back of her head came to the foreground again.She is just as fucked up as you are.It went a step further.And that is so, so fucking hot.

Every word that came out of Karli's mouth made the whole fucked-up situation sound like a game Jade deep down wanted to play. She was constructing a new reality - and Jade had always held that no reality is provably more real than any other. The web was a vivid painting as well as a trap, at this point. A reality she could choose to believe in, or reject as a concept. But it felt less and less like she had a choice with every passing moment.

The two of them sat there in total silence for a few minutes. Maybe five, honestly. Jade stared at the bed; Karli stared at Jade.

It was strangely familiar and jarring how talking to Karli had felt. An emotional rollercoaster, but also irritatingly magnetic. And she realised the familiarity was because she'd actually been talking to Karli for the last 4 days, under the guise of "Sir". Those had all been Karli's words, Karli's sentiments. And they'd had a similar effect on her, time after time.

She lifted her head up a little. Karli was in light blue jeans, a green sweatshirt, and grey, fuzzy-looking socks.

"You just... wanna watch? Not..." The words felt so strange in her throat, but she couldn't think of another way to put it that would sound less absurd. "...not use me?"

"I didn't say that, did I?"

Jade gulped. "No, I just... wanted to check. I want to know what to expect."

Karli had eased into the conversation. Eased into Jade's bed, then into her personal space. And she finally closed the gap. She sat up on her knees, shuffled a touch closer still, and placed her hands on Jade's ankles, before starting to stroke them, gently and slowly. Jade's breath caught in her throat. The fucking audacity of this girl. The sheer fucking nerve.

"What you can expect, is for me to be responsible. I'll look after you, and I'll also keep you in check. Like, I'll go pick up your morning after pill. We really don't want you getting pregnant, do we?"

The few subtle hairs on Jade's legs were standing up as Karli caressed her ankles almost affectionately.

"N-no. I - we don't." She was so conflicted, unable to think clearly, trying to stay down in her pit of numbness, but it was hard. Karli had pushed her buttons in the right order and now she was stroking her to calm her down and it was fucking working. She was an intoxicating force in so many ways.

"That's - that's nice. That you'd do that," Jade whispered, her voice breaking a little.

"I know, sweetie. I know. See, if I really wanted to see your life fall apart, I could just refuse to let you leave this room for the next few days. It'd be really nerve-wracking, waiting to see if you got your period, wouldn't it? But I'm not going to do that. Because I like my toy."

Jade blushed at the notion of Karli helping her stay not pregnant with Freddie's baby. What an absolutely perverse thing to say.

Karli carried on, her strokes speeding up just a little.

"But you should definitely scoop as much of his load out as you can, anyway. Just in case."

She stared at Jade, not a flicker ofjust kiddingon her face. It was patently absurd as a premise and Jade knew it. She'd been lying there with his cum inside her for at least an hour after she fell asleep. But the absurdity was the point. It was a sex act dressed up as a segue.

"You - you want me to -"

Jade knewexactlywhat Karli was telling her to do, but her muscles wouldn't move. There was a world of difference between digital obedience and in-person obedience, apparently. She was shy. Nervous. Frozen.

Karli grabbed her knees and pulled her legs apart, exposing Jade's slit to her and the open air.

Jade's heart was pounding in her chest. She did not want Karli to see how turned on this made her. But she was just as paralysed as she was a second ago. As incapable of covering herself up as she had been of moving her arms.

"Well? Are you going to do it, or shall I?" Jade sensed impatience in her voice. She wanted to want to move her hand, but she was just so incapable of motion. Of any kind of action.

So...

"Fine, then."

Karli reached two manicured fingers between Jade's legs and scooped from the bottom of her slit to the top, grazing her clit as she pulled her hand upwards. Jade could see a glob of cum clinging to the ends of her index and middle fingers. And then Karli moved her fingers towards Jade's mouth.