My Body is a Stranger

Note: this is one of my more "introspective" stories. It's not for everyone. I also apologize, my grammar checker hasn't really been working.

Marisol had never expected her husband to cheat. He didn't seem like the type. When they met, he was open about having been cheated on by his ex-girlfriend for years. She empathized with him and shared that her father had cheated on her mother. They bonded, becoming each other's safe space when their memories became too much to bear.

She had stupidly assumed this meant that their love was eternal. That the shared history they had built could withstand any trouble. When her friends brought up concerns to her about a coworker, she waved them away. Her husband wasn't the type of man to go back on his word. He would never lie.

The minute she came home and saw his face, she wanted to cry. Apparently, cheating bastards tended not to wear condoms. Especially when they were putting their cocks into the pussy of their mentally ill coworker. The love of her life, the man she'd been with since college, had cheated on her for years.

He said their marriage was dead (it wasn't). That she had become closed off and his coworker was the only person who cared (she begged for him to talk to her when he was upset and was shut out). Excuse after excuse that painted this decade younger woman as the hero who saved him from agony.

Marisol had wanted to scream but by then, everything had become a blur. Her friends ended up being more his friends then she initially thought and sided with him. They said that this coworker was innocent as she honestly assumed Marisol wanted to divorce her husband. That she was just naive.

When the brunette dared to bring up that the affair went on for years, they shut her up with glares and silence. It hurt to realize that everyone believed that she was a nagging wife who only cared about money. When she had loved that man and cared about him for so many moments in her mind.

It was all too much. The day he told her the coworker, a bubbly woman who everyone seemed to love, gave birth she nearly fainted. It was like her life had become some sort of hellscape that she couldn't escape. She had been a good woman, a loyal wife, and she was being treated like a dog.

So, here she was. Sitting in sweats she'd been since Tuesday on a Sunday evening with her heart hammering in her chest. Her eyes were focused on the phone in her hand, and she breathed tiredly. It was weird that the only people that sympathized with her were strangers on a relationship forum.

They all had been betrayed in some way by their partners. One was fresh out of highschool and had been dumped by her sweetheart due to her not being religious enough for him. Another was a middle-aged father who was debating whether or not to leave his emotionally abusive wife. They all had some type of internal tug-of-war when it came to their romantic partners.

She felt vindicated to see that others were struggling with similar issues. After a couple of weeks of late night binge reading, she made her own post. And boy did it blow up. When Marisol logged on the next day she saw that she'd received dozens of private messages. From women and men who also had been cheated on whether it be emotionally or physically.

They shared the same feelings of self disgust and hate that came from still having sex with their wayward partner. Marisol had stopped fucking her husband immediately, but she sometimes felt forced to play along. These messages made her sit down and cry for hours. Everyone else felt the shame of being betrayed by the person you cared for the most in the world.

Marisol found herself enraptured by the offers of revenge they proposed. She would see numerous posts of men having revenge affairs right after forgiving their cheating wives. Or detailed comments from women who divorced their husband's and slept with a hot, younger neighbor who blew their backs out. She felt her cheeks flush at how bold everyone else acted.

'You're still attractive. You don't have to stay with that rat bastard.' One commenter told her after she posted another depressing vent.

'You aren't just a wife. You're smart, college educated, a good poet. There's plenty of men and women out there who'd love to be with you.' Comments like these made her close her eyes and just replay the words over and over.

The brunette found herself wondering if they were being truthful. Before the affair, she had been confident in her looks. She had always been a bigger girl balancing between thick and overweight her entire life. While with her husband she had managed to get her weight under control. The woman became curvy in all the right places and exercised fairly often.

But the affair had caused her to eat large meals out in anxious fits of self loathing and now she was much larger. Not exactly fat, but she struggled to fit in a decent amount of her old clothes. This made her change her style into baby, oversized shirts and hoodies in an attempt to mask her ugliness. Marisol felt like a hideous creature that no man could ever truly find cute.

But these commenters...they said otherwise. One night she had posted a brief photo of herself in a large pullover shirt before logging off. She came back to multiple likes and people calling her cute, adorable and gorgeous. Some men even offered to talk to her over video chat if she was interested. She took the photo down an hour later as she became overwhelmed quickly.

The meek woman had set her phone down, walked to the bathroom and turned on the light. Its brightness blinded her briefly, and she lifted her hand to shield her eyes. This caused her shirt to rise, revealing her bare breasts. She didn't leave the house much these days, so she had forgoed wearing a bra or underwear. Marisol just threw on a large shirt and some sweatpants.

Her eyes widened as she really looked at herself. There was some hair on her belly and up her chest right to her boobs. As a teenager she would have waxed herself immediately. But right now, all she felt was exhaustion. Her breasts were large and heavy, weighing her down due to their sheer size. Marisol had been blessed with having naturally crafted D cups at puberty.

This led to her being teased at school. She was pointed and picked at by all the boys in her class who called her cruel names. Watermelon chest. Bimbo. Words and terms she would later find out to be associated with porn. She'd become a bit more confident on her chest when it came to her husband. He said that she was perfect the way she was. Marisol frowned and felt sick.

Every compliment he had given her was now meaningless. Just like the fake love he had been showing her night after night, day after day. She looked at her chest and moved one hand right on to her boob. It was hot from her constant sweat, but it didn't feel disgusting like she expected. Instead, Marisol thought deeply about the comments she had received.

Her hand began to shake. A foreign, naughty little thought entered her mind, but she rushed to swat it away. Self gratification was something that her husband had considered cheating, ironically. He had gotten angry at her for using toys back when they were just casual and demanded she got rid of them. Marisol had felt humiliated as he had yelled at her and called her gross. Apparently, men found it disgusting for girls to play with themselves.

But the brunette was now alone, and she thought about masturbation a lot. She couldn't help it. Her friends had abandoned her, her husband was out sleeping with some hussie and all she had was the people in her phone. The poor woman's brain practically itched as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her mind screamed at her that she had nothing else to lose. That she was already so low in the gutter that she might as well go and defile herself.

Her thick thighs trembled, resembling a bowl of jello as she gulped. It was stupid to be so scared about touching her own genitalia. She had seen her vagina multiple times and knew how her asshole worked. But she knew that this was something that would make her husband see her as filthy. It was so pathetic that after being left and cheated on multiple times she still wanted him. Her lips quivered as she moved her hand down to her waist and under.

At the first feeling of her fingers touching her vagina, she felt scared. A cold sweat broke out down her back as she imagined her husband coming in. It took her a few minutes to calm down and try again. That cheating bastard didn't matter, and she wanted him to be banished from her mind. Marisol was shaking as she felt one finger dance atop her skin gracefully. Feeling it was strange, it had been so many years since she had done this.

Back in her college days she would use various dildos on herself. She liked the skinny ones the best because they massaged her holes. They made her insides feel warm and comfortable when she was getting thrust into. One time she had tried a toothbrush in her vagina and was met with pain. A porno had told her that it was a good idea and it ended up being a very bad one. She also used her fingers whenever the dildo didn't meet her standards.

It wasn't because her husband couldn't pleasure her, he could pleasure her beautifully. To the point her toes would curl and her stomach would flip-flop. She just felt self pleasure was another category of being given a flutter of an orgasm. Her body was shaking as she felt her finger go deeper in between her folds. It hurt at first but not in a physical way. But in a mental way that left her eyes watering. She felt like she was breaking a law.

Masturbating standing up was different then when you were laying on your back. You had to be careful not to pass out as your body turned into jello. Your mouth became thick like sandpaper as you went in and out, up and around. Marisol's large breasts gently moved as she trembled with her pussy becoming wet. God, she had gotten wet so fast. She hadn't realized that she was that pent-up inside. Her body was acting like she had regained her virginity.

This was exciting and terrifying. Her mind hadn't felt such a wave of positive but naughty emotions in so long. Marisol didn't try to add more than one finger as she felt overwhelmed already. Putting more into her body would push her over the edge, and she didn't want to injure herself. Her hole had become sensitive to her own touch from being neglected so long. She teared up at this, her misery had made her body become that of a stranger's.