Night Patrol

Tannis Fowler enjoyed the night shift, which was fortunate. As a rookie guard, less than a year on the force, she had little choice in her assignments. It worked out. She was assigned a peaceful, well-lit patrol route. The plan was to get her a partner eventually, but personnel was a difficulty at the moment, so she got a safe route and a whistle.

River's Bend began less than a century ago as a dock and boathouse on the west bank of the mighty Vesos River. Today it was very nearly a city. Not a metropolis, by any means, but a beacon of civilization, nonetheless in the northern wilds. A haven for traders, trappers, and even a few adventurers. There were a few undesirable elements, but the town was still new enough that true crime had yet to settle in.

And as a relatively new city, the architecture was homogeneous. Most of the buildings were designed by a few people, and made to complement those around them. There was a little artistic flair. The gothic cathedral of the Sun God dominated the northwest corner of the settlement and there were two market squares boasting several statues and a beautiful fountain. Both were favorite stops along Tannis's route. And tonight, one would be the first sign of trouble for the young guard.

She was... less formidable than she'd care to admit. Despite training and work, she was still slight, skinny, perhaps-- and she wasn't tall. With her short black hair, pale skin, and lean body, her uniform did more work commanding respect than she did. Still, she knew at least part of presence was confidence, and though she'd never had that tested, she always kept it in mind.

That thought was still in her mind that fateful night approaching Statue Square. So named, obviously, for the several large statues and tall plinths sprinkled throughout it. She'd walk to the center of the brightly lit square, do a loop around the massive pedestal that held the statue of Kelda the Strong, a local heroine and role model for Tannis. The sculpture depicted a strong, beautiful woman, though the artist had taken some liberties with the hero's choice of clothing. Perhaps if she filled out a little, Tannis could pull off an outfit like...

As she approached the statue, Tannis began to hear whispered speech. The lamps were all lit, so the area was fairly bright, but she saw no one. The speakers must be behind the statue. She did not disguise her presence. Nor did she announce it, instead following her path. As she progressed the words became clearer.

"...what you get for slapping my butt!" The voice was female. Though she seemed to be trying to whisper, she was failing spectacularly. Her deep voice sounded powerful.

"That's what *you get for making such a tempting target!" The voice that replied was much quieter. Lighter. Almost inaudible, but excited, responding to the first.

"Mn. Mmmn!" The was another, heavily muffled voice. It didn't sound distressed, but Tannis couldn't make anything out clearly.

"Will you two please be quiet?" a fourth voice hissed. "You're going to get us caught and we're in no shape for that!"

It was that phrase that 'caught' Tannis's attention. If these people were worried about being caught, they were up to something. The guard briefly considered calling for backup with her whistle, but she didn't know what was even going on. She didn't want to look like a scared rookie if it was nothing. She would have to investigate. She took her slightly oversized helmet out from under her arm, placing it on her head before a final equipment check. Then she marched around the base of the statue.

Her step faltered for a beat as she rounded the corner. There were, in fact, four women on the far side of the high plinth. They were all dressed in similar canvas clothing, though the style varied slightly for each. Beyond their clothes, however, they were all quite different. It was the Amazon, for obvious reasons, that first caught the Guard's eye. She was tall, lean, and muscular with wild shoulder-length brown hair. Her clothing was worn and dusty. She wore trousers, a sleeveless tunic, and was barefoot. She stood with both hands splayed against the pedestal at shoulder height with he right foot lifted to it as well, as if she was pushing away.

Next to her, on her left, was a tallish but much slimmer blonde woman. She wore a short dress, canvas shoes, and had her hair done in an intricate knot at the back of her head. Her hands were positioned much like her larger companion's, but instead of her foot, her face was up against the statue.

To the Amazon's right, a woman of similar size and build to Tannis was bent with her face pressed to the larger woman's side, facing inward. Her left hand was indeed on her companion's butt with the other not visible. Her clothing was of the same material as the other, but she wore long sleeves, and only one shoe.

The last woman stood just adjacent to the bent one, right hand on the other girl's hip, left palm pressed to her own forehead. She was shorter than the first two, and while much sturdier than the blonde, she seemed like a twig compared to the Amazon. She wore canvas shoes, pants, and short sleeves. And saw Tannis immediately as she rounded the plinth.

"Oh! Uh, h-hello Guardsman. L-lovely night, isn't it?" The woman's cheeks flushed as she stammered out a greeting.

"And what's going on here?" began Tannis in the sternest voice she could manage.

"What? Guard?" The larger woman turned and noticed her but did not otherwise adjust her position. "Oh, uh, hello Ma'am! We were... just out for a stroll! Getting some night air! It is, uh, a lovely night, right?"

"Yes, a lovely night." The smaller woman deadpanned, perhaps through gritted teeth. She did not straighten up or release her companion and was somewhat muffled by her position.

"Yes. We've established that it's a lovely night." agreed Tannis. "Now answer the question! What are the four of you doing here?"

The Amazon exchanged a nervous glance with the woman clutching her own forehead (and looking as though she wished to sink into the paving stones). "We were... just... admiring this lovely statue..." She looked up above her. "Of Kelda the Strong! I've always wondered, um... If that is... Magical armor! Yes! Or maybe she just... posed in a swimsuit!"

"And what have you come up with?" Tannis asked in a flat tone.

"Ah.. well... I think Fi would say it's... artistic license! Yes! I'm sure I heard her say that once!" The Amazon smiled broadly though it faded a bit quickly. "I don't know what that means."

"Mmm." groaned the blond facing the statue.

"Right. Well, now that the mystery is solved," replied Tannis, a touch sarcastically, "You can move along."

"Ah. Right." sighed the Amazon. "Move... along. We, uh, we can't... right now..."

The slender woman who seemed overtly fond of the Amazon's backside mumbled something quietly.

"Yes!" exclaimed the Amazon. "Because we are waiting for someone! And we are supposed to meet right here! By this... extremely heavy... statue."

"Of course you are." said Tannis. "All right, front and center. Hands where I can see them. And you!" She barked at the contorted woman who leaned against the Amazon. "Straighten up! Let's see your face!"

"I'd love to. Really, but... that could be a problem." came the muffled reply.

"Fine then." said Tannis. "Have it your way." And she took two steps toward the slim bent woman."

"M-ma'am..." stammered the stricken woman holding her head. "Maybe you shouldn't..."

But Tannis only took two steps. Attempting a third to reach the woman she was planning ing manually straighten, her right boot caught on the paving stone causing her to stumble. Seeking stability, her left arm shot out, planting her hand on the Amazon's ribs.

"Aw, shoot." muttered the Amazon.

Tannis, having arrested her stumble, looked to investigate what had caught her foot. It was still hung up on something. She made to step back and check, but found similar difficulty with her left. It was then that she tried to retrieve her left hand. "What? Hey! Let go of me!" She could see the Amazon's hands still on the plinth, but her own hand refused to come away from the larger woman's torso. "Release me! Now!"

"She can't, Guardsman." said the woman clutching her head evenly. She leaned a little towards the Guard. "If you'll just let me explain..."

"No! Stay back!" Tannis desperately flailed, or tried to flail, in the beginnings of panic. She was losing control of the situation, if indeed she ever had it. Both feet and one of her arms were somehow immobilized. When she noticed the raised elbow approaching her, she reacted. Twisting as much as she was able, she reached across her body with her free right arm in an attempt to swat the elbow away. Her hand struck squarely, palm first, on the tip of the elbow and instantly stuck in place. "Wha-what? What is this?!"

"Oh dear." her new friend sighed calmly.

Panic fully took hold of the rookie guard. She'd been caught! Who were these people and what were they going to do to her? And how were they holding her? She fought wildly to get free, throwing herself back and forth uselessly. Her hands and feet wouldn't budge. She felt herself collide with the shorter woman stuck to her right hand. She pushed to bump into the Amazon, only to find herself clinging to both of them. Running out of options, she thrust her hip back, finally contacting the bent-over woman next to her, and that was it. She could no longer move at all. She was frozen in place, wedged amid these three women.

"All done?" the shorter woman asked. She didn't sound upset or threatening. Just conversational, perhaps a little resigned.

"What's going on!?" Tannis' panic hadn't run its course yet. She could only squirm ineffectually. She needed help. Her whistle! She flexed desperately trying anything to reach it, but her hands stayed where they were. The little device was likely still around her neck and pinned under her twisted arms. "Let me go." she begged weakly.

"Would if we could." The Amazon replied.

"You're safe, Guardsman." said the shorted woman. "We're not going to hurt you. I doubt we even could at the moment, given our circumstances."

"Well, she is right between us." said the Amazon. "We could probably put a little squeeze on her..."

"Not helping, Brin!" said the bent woman sharply, though she did not fully suppress a laugh.

Fortunately for Tannis, that little chuckle triggered her rage and worked toward cancelling her fear. "You think this is funny!? Is this some kind of prank? When the rest of the guard gets here..." Gods, the other guards. Tannis's oversized helmet had slipped slightly in her struggles and twisted, covering half her face and blocking one eye. She must look ridiculous. When she was finally rescued, she'd never live it down. She squirmed briefly, trying to get free, reach her whistle, fix her helmet, anything, but couldn't budge. "Please." she squeaked. "Just let me go..."

"We can't, Guardsman." said the shorter woman sympathetically. "We, uh, had a little... mishap and are just as stuck as you are."

"Hey, I'm still working on it!" argued the Amazon. "Give me a minute and I might..."

"Yeah, no, you won't." the bent woman put in. "Just admit it. This magic glue has us all stuck tight. I tried to keep my right hand free, but I had an itch and... Never mind. We're not breaking out of this."

"Magic what now?" The words made a little sense but... "Magic glue? That's not a real thing." Tannis' mind was starting to catch up, helped by the ridiculous, casual calm of her new fast friends. "What did you fools do? How are we going to get out of this?"

"Hrm mph mhm." grunted the blond behind the Amazon.

"I'm getting to that." The shorter woman said. "But first, what's your name, Ma'am? I am Mellisi, cleric of the sun and sky. The tower on your other side is Brinja, and the pretzel behind you is Aelin. Fiona is the silent elf kissing the plinth."

"Hello, uh, Ma'am." greeted Brinja.

"Pretzel? Really?" sighed Aelin.

"Mmhm." added Fiona.

The minimum respect her captors offered her loosened the guard's tongue. "T-tannis. My name is Tannis. What's going on here? Why can't I move? She said magic glue?"

Yes." Mellisi replied "Aelin did. We found a refilling pot of the stuff in our travels. We were out tonight because Brinja wanted to see if she could pull free of it and we needed something sturdy and immovable. So she had us put glue on *both of her hands which she pressed to the pedestal. Turns out she can't pull free."

"I'm still trying." protested Brinja.

"Mm-mmn." said Fiona.

"Whenever you're ready." added Aelin. It sounded as though she was grinning.

"Then Fi got involved with both her hands and her lips." continued Mellisi. "She's always been a little... eccentric."

"Mmnph!" protested Fiona.

"You'd be more convincing if you hadn't glued your mouth shut, Weird-o." countered Aelin.

"The real problem started when Ale tried to set the pot on top of the pedestal." Mellisi went on. "Neither one of us was tall enough, and those two had their, uh, hands full. It was too close to the edge and tipped, dousing the three of us and the ground, as you discovered. Then, of course, we were stuck in place and started sticking to everything we touched."

"Right." said Tannis. "So you did this on purpose."

"Half of it." sighed Aelin.

"You got stuck to my butt on purpose." argued Brinja.

"Five-eighths then." replied Aelin, flexing her bonded hand. "I don't regret that part."

Tannis let out a breath and tried to shift what she could. "So then." she said. "On the off chance your friend couldn't break free..."

"I think... I almost got it." added Brinja.

"Yeah, shut up." said Aelin.

Had she a usable hand, Tannis might have pinched the bridge of her nose. "What was your plan for separating her from the statue. You had one, right?"

"That is the good news, Guard Tannis." replied Mellisi. "Fi has done extensive testing on this... object, and the glue will dissolve into basically air a time after it's separated from the pot."

"Mnm-hm." agreed Fiona.

Tannis didn't move, of course, but felt herself sag just a little. She might get out of this after all. "Okay, good. And how long does that take?"

"I think Fi said somewhere in the vicinity of two bells." supplied Mellisi.

"Mnm-hm." agreed Fiona.

"And how long have you been stuck?" asked Tannis.

"Oh, well..." stammered Mellisi. "You know, it's been a little chaotic. And they don't ring the bells this late... I have no idea."

"Great." sighed Tannis.

"Fi has probably been keeping track." Mellisi went on. "She has a keen mind. But of course, she's not talking."

"Mnm-hm." agreed Fiona.

"So we just stand here." said Tannis. "Packed together like sardines. Waiting for your magical glue to magically let us go?"

"Unless you got a better plan. Ma'am." Aelin's words were respectful. Her tone, less so.

"Don't mind her." said Brinja. "She's just mad because she dump it on herself."

"Not my... proudest moment." admitted Aelin.

"Agreed." said Mellisi. "At any rate, part of Fi's tests was trying to thwart this stuff with magic. You wouldn't know it by her current position, but she's actually a mage of reasonable ability."

"Mrph hmn." argued Fiona.

"Oh? And what word would you use?" returned Mellisi.

"Mrr..." muttered Fiona.

"Thought so." smirked Mellisi. "So her magic wouldn't work. Brinja's strength is... taking its sweet time..."

"I'll never give up!" announced Brija. "We literally have all night!"

"I'm hoping we don't." countered Aelin.

Tannis groaned and wiggled furtively in her twisted pose. However long she was going to be stuck here, it was going to be long.

Tannis had no idea how long it had been. Mellisi had been speaking to her calmly. Aelin had been making snarky commentary, and Brinja had just suggested a rousing verse of ninety-nine bottles of ale on the wall. Tannis was debating drowning her out by screaming bloody murder when it finally happened.

"Wait! I feel something!" announced Brinja. She twisted her powerful arms for a moment. Then with a comical pop, her hands came loose from the pedestal. "Ha! I did it! I'm free!"

"No, you didn't." said Aelin. "And no, you aren't."

It seemed true enough. Brinja's feet were still locked in place, to the ground and pedestal respectively, and Tannis and Aelin were still huddled against her torso, unable to move.

"You're just jealous because I have my hands again." mocked Brinja. She brought her right arm down past Tannis's shoulder on the side the Guard was blinded by her helmet. There was the slightly damp sound of a slap behind her as it stuck something. Aelin, judging by the grunt. Having gotten to know these two a little, Tannis could guess where it landed.

"Shouldn't have done that..." teased Aelin.

"And what are you going to.. Oh!" Brinja fidgeted for a moment, before grunting with exertion. "Gods damn it."

"What did you do, Brin?" sighed Mellisi.

"Her hand is stuck to my ass." answered Aelin. "And I think the other got stuck trying to pull it loose."

"Shut up." growled Brinja.

"What about us?" asked Tannis. "When are we going to get out of this?"

"Order of operations." said Mellisi. Fi will be next. And since the spill happened all at once, we'll all come loose shortly after. Right, Fi?"

"Mnm-hm." the Elf agreed.

It was only a short eternity later that another sign of freedom arrived. "Mmph!" Fiona sort of shouted. "MMMM!"

"All right, Fi?" questioned Mellisi.

There was a slurping, peeling noise. "Ulmph! Yeth." The Elf answered. "Perhapth lipth on thtone wath a poor idea."

"Oh, you think?" deadpanned Aelin.

"Well, they're lose now." said Mellisi. "Anything they can do to help with this mess?"

"I'm thtill... Pleh! still working on my, uff... hands." Fiona responded. "They're being a bit, humph... stubborn. But this stuff is pretty much immune to magic anyway. Side note: Ale's splash got my foot, so I'm not going anywhere until you guys are."

"Rub it in why don't you." retuned Aelin. "It's mot like I aimed for you."

"You didn't 'aim' for anything." replied Fiona. "But got everything. That's talent, right there."

The end was almost anticlimactic. Almost. Tannis felt Brinja start to move and she just... slid away from the Amazon's torso. Her left arm fell free. She had to twist and shake it to get it moving again. She also slipped away from Mellisi's torso, where her uniform had been pressed to The Cleric's tunic. It was Tannis's right hand that gave her trouble. Still bonded to Mellisi's elbow.

"I mean, really." sighed Mellisi. She was twisting her arm, trying to pry her left hand from her forehead. The effort was yielding weak stretching and creaking noises but no success. Under other circumstances, it might have been funny.

"I need... some leverage." panted Tannis, struggling with he own hand. "Maybe if... I could put my... foot on..."

"Let me." Brinja stepped into view, rolling one shoulder. In motion, Tannis found her a little frightening. And when she wrapped her hand around The Rookie's forearm, it felt... inexorable. Like the jaws of some great beast. Tannis was suddenly sure she was about to lose her arm. But with barely any effort, and a slight squeak, Tannis was a singular person again.

"Oof. Thanks Brin." groaned Mellisi, as her hand pulled free of her head. "That was an adventure. Well, Guardsman. I suppose you'll want to take us in. You know, now that we can move."

Tannis blinked. She hadn't thought that far ahead. She looked around at her fellow former prisoners. Fiona was standing elegantly nearby, next to Aelin, stretching and flexing after her awkward pose. She craned her neck upward to see past Brinja's chest to her grinning face, before turning to Mellisi. "No." she said, finally straitening her helmet. "Be on your way."