The Icequeen Cometh

This is an excerpt from my novel - Tampa Gold.

My head was still spinning when I opened the door to my cabin. Within the space of an afternoon, my life had yet again turned upside down, and this time there seemed little I could do but go along for the ride. Just an hour earlier, I was still expecting to make it to Singapore in time for happy hour at Raffles via a quick detour to Merak in Indonesia. Now I had snuck into a ship captain's cabin; sailed with a potentially mutinous multitude of Afghani castaways; and been subjected to the hitherto unexpected passionate intentions of a six-foot tall, angry Nordic beauty. The things I did for my country.

Any minute now, Anna the Iceberg would arrive and demand some kind of liaison in return for my continued access to the captain's backup INMARSAT terminal. That was risky, but it was the only way that I could reach the outside world to send updates on the situation on the Tampa.

With that in mind, I quickly tidied my cabin to make it presentable for Anna's expected arrival. I liked to think of myself as a clean person, but it wouldn't hurt if I made my bed and packed away my washing. Barely had I finished tidying that there was a knock at the door. I say 'knock', but it was closer to a pounded fist more than anything else.

I wasn't expecting a bouquet of roses and a string quartet to serenade Anna through the door, but what I got was as far from romance as I have ever experienced. The only way her entry could have been less sexy was if she had first thrown in a stun grenade and followed up with a hail of gunfire from a SWAT team.

Without so much as a hello, Anna barged her way into my cabin as if she owned the place. As I stood holding the door, she marched into the centre of the room and looked around, clearly taking stock of my habits. I thought about cracking a joke about her bringing flowers but guessed that might sour the mood further. At this rate, I was going to have trouble getting it up as it was.

And then the most remarkable foreplay I have ever been a part of began. Without the slightest change in demeanour or expression, Anna launched into a blistering tirade in the sexiest Norwegian-accented English that you could imagine.

"I have been on this fucking ship for six months, and I just want to go home! Is that too much to ask?"

I was about to reply, but realised that she didn't actually want my input. And before I could speak, she continued.

"Day after day, nothing but seamen (I kid you not) and gulls for company. Never a green tree or a mountain to look at. Just water and rusting steel containers everywhere!"

And for one horrific moment, I thought I had misread the situation, and I was going to have to endure hours of her venting just so I could again access the INMARSAT. There are many things I can stomach for the right cause, but listening to another person whine on and on about their first-world problems was not one of them. Worried that she wasn't here for fun, I settled in so I could zone out as best I could when it happened. Without slowing down or asking permission, Anna sat down on my bed and removed her shoes and socks.

"And I am only here because my father is on the board of governors at Wilhelmsen. I didn't want to come, but he said that 'the sea was in our family's blood'."

With no announcement or sense of shame, Anna unbuttoned her blouse until it was open to her waist. As it came apart, she shrugged it off her shoulders and let it fall onto the bed behind her. She wore a plain nude bra with no frills or extras. She was broad-shouldered, as you might expect for someone of her stature, but not especially muscled. Her smooth skin was just toned as would befit one who spent time outdoors. Most importantly, however, she didn't have a tattoo of an anchor on her shoulder.

"But he said that as he had no sons, I must go. And like the fool that was, I thought it meant that she would blaze a trail for women to follow behind. Yet all that has happened has been endless paperwork and routine checks and rechecks."

Then she stood up and undid her belt. Unzipping her fly, she pulled it down, then eased her thumbs into the waistband of her black trousers. As I watched, she pulled down her pants all the way while prattling away. Her legs matched her arms in that they were strong, but not bulky. She could have made it as a model if the fashion industry employed normal-looking women and not surgically enhanced skeletons.

"And then I have to spend the rest of my time babysitting horny old men. Why are all the passengers dirty, ugly old fools? All they want to do is fuck me or fuck the ship because they are so damned in love with it. And I say to them, 'Go fuck the ship, if you haven't already. I am not your free fucking whore!'"

Standing in just her bra and mismatched undies, I marvelled at what a true beauty she was. Her long, straight blonde hair and those piercing grey eyes that looked dead and made it impossible to return her gaze. As Anna stepped out of her pants, I took her all in. Her belly was broad yet flat, but only because of her size. She didn't have an hourglass figure, but I could still see a graceful sweep down her hips, which I had always thought was the least appreciated part of a woman's beauty. Never much of a breast man, my theory was that if a woman had a nice bum, the rest of her body followed, breasts included. I will never give a precise number of my women, but I am yet to be proven wrong on a woman's physical appeal when her butt has been my guide. And Anna's ticked all my boxes.

"And when I tell them to leave me alone, they complain and I get hauled before the captain again. And he tells me, 'If it weren't for your father, you would be off at the next port!'"

I just stood there gob smacked at was transpiring before me. I hadn't opened my mouth in minutes, and all that time this Valkyrie was giving me her life story as she casually stripped in front of me as easily as if was alone in her cabin.

"And I just wish he would so I can get off this floating prison. But then my father would know, and he would disown me for the shame it would bring on the family, but he really means him, and I know he wishes I was a boy..."

Without stopping, Anna reached behind her back and unclasped her bra. As she pulled it off her shoulders, she revealed her breasts and small pink nipples. I said I was an arse man, but there was one exception. I had seen them in porn, so I knew they were real, but never thought that I would ever see them in the flesh, and Anna had the perfect set. I would have traded all the impeccable arses in the world for one chance to play with a pair like these. They were the Sistine Chapel of boobs, teardrop-shaped breasts.

As I stood slack-jawed at the marvel uncovering in front of me, Anna slipped her thumbs in the waistband of her knickers and pulled them down. I don't think I've ever missed a muff reveal, but so enamoured with those tits was I that it was only later that I could report that she had a small patch of blonde hair to cover her sex. I was distracted further when Anna bent forward to push her knickers over her knees and her perfect breasts swung free of all confinement. There truly was a God.

As Anna stood back upright, she stared me in the eye, but all I could look at was her chest. The entire package was sensational and left me speechless. She coughed to get my attention, yet all I could do was gawk at her like a mute. Without a word, she frowned at me while gesturing up and down her body with her index finger. She then motioned toward me with her upturned palm and "Hurry the fuck up" look on her face.

Quickly getting the message, I stripped down as Anna lowered herself onto my bed. I didn't have time to think, and she didn't wait for my show. Instead, she lay down with her hips close to the end and raised her knees. With her feet flat on the edge, she opened her legs and instinctively ran a finger up between her lips while her other hand squeezed a breast. Immediately sensing her meaning, I knelt down between her thighs and began to caress and kiss them. Then she arched up again.

"Now these fucking people are on the ship and they want us to take them God knows where. And the captain said he would do it. How long is that going to take?

"But why should we do that? Lower. They don't have tickets, and we are not a ferry service. I mean, why are they here? Squeeze it. Couldn't they just fly? Harder. I mean, oh yes, no one travels by ship anymore. It's not as if they are, umm, they are... ahh... they... oh, fuck me. Yes, that's it! They... ahhhh. Yes, deeper. Mmmm... bite it. Ahhh! Mmm, mmm... ye..."

Anna reached for my pillow and wrapped it over her face. From between her thighs, I could hear muffled squeals and moans as her thighs quivered and her toes curled. When I thought she'd had enough, I kissed my way up her thighs then blew softly on her clit. She lay there with the pillow over her face, trembling for several minutes. I marvelled at her breasts as I stroked her, wondering if I would ever get to see them again.

When she had recovered, she threw my pillow to the floor with one smooth move. Without a word of kindness or thanks, she looked at the ceiling and said, "You can cum now." I understood her offer, but her cold delivery threw me. Sensing confusion, Anna rolled her eyes and said, "Jerk it," pointing at my cock. When I hesitated, she sighed and barked, "Which do you want? Front or back?" I didn't know what she meant, which frustrated her further. "Fine," she said, "back then!"

Before I could make sense of what was happening, she had flipped herself over onto her knees and started masturbating before me. As I watched her circle her pussy with two fingers, the penny dropped. After all my efforts, the best I could hope for was to wank in the same room as her. Her show was my only consideration.

"Fine," I thought. If this is all get, then so be it. If I hadn't been expecting equal treatment, it would have been more than enough to watch a beautiful woman jill-off in front of me. Some men go a lifetime and never see that. So I made the best of an average situation and beat off. But there is an odd thing about male masturbation. It is hard to do kneeling upright. Your body sort of wobbles back and forth under the motion of the jerking. If kneeling, it is best if you support yourself on one arm and lean. So, naturally, I did what best served me and reached out to the edge of the bed and leant forward.

The problem was that this put me within inches of Anna's arse and quim. No bad thing, you might think, but without a frame of reference -- i.e. the rest of her -- it was weird staring only at her vagina and anus. Of course, the temptation to want to do something with that gift was just too much. And so, without permission or direction, put down what I was doing, grabbed her thighs, and stuck my face into her for round two.

Her shock at my second entry lasted only a second. After first trying to pull away, her body succumbed to its baser instincts, and she eased herself onto me. From that angle, I could stick my tongue into her as far as I wanted, so it didn't take long before she came again. As she did, she tried again to pull away, but I locked her hips with my arms between her thighs and my hands on the small of her back. She was strong and put up a hell of a fight, but I was stronger and wasn't letting her go until I was done with her.

"Stop, stop, stop!" she screamed, her voice quivering and breaking. Still, I wouldn't let her go. She screamed the ship down, then finally let out a guttural moan before her voice cracked and she whimpered, "Please, please, please."

At that, I relented and watched as Anna collapsed face down on my bed. When her panting subsided, she silently beckoned me over, motioning me to lie down beside her. When I did, she smiled and kissed me.

"Thank you," she said. "I love a surprise."