2023/08/13 - Sunnie LaMatina

EPILOGUE for Scott and Kim Chance (refer to "Sunnie LaMatina 02")

I had Gail send out the standard form letter to Scott and to Kim. After we wrap up the interview process, we typically invite the patient to help us complete his file with information that we will find helpful in evaluating our performance. Patients are encouraged to write a letter and forward it by email or US mail. And if they feel like keeping up over the years, we would welcome perhaps a yearly update for as long as they desired. And of course we were always available for future in-office consults should they feel the need. Some patients never responded, while others became veritable pen pals.

We got cooperation from both Scott and Kim, albeit to different degrees. Scott contacted us three times over the span of three years, while Kim contacted us eight times over the same period. This is the narrative as we were able to collate from their separate accounts.

By a year after her return from Antactica, Kim had given birth to Everett Corvel's daughter. The divorce had gone through. Kim and Scott had sold the marital home. All assets had been split evenly between them. Scott had not deducted the money he spent putting her up in the apartment for the first year. He felt he couldn't live with himself if he put his pregnant wife out in the street, even if she was carrying another man's baby. So he kept his conscience clear. He also felt that the gesture would create goodwill that would make her less likely to battle over minutiae in the divorce. If it helped to ratchet up the regret, that she'd lost a good man, well, he'd call that a bonus.

When the first year was over, Kim stayed in the same flat and started paying her own way. The split of assets had left her in modest comfort. Scott had worked out a communication protocol with Kim. At first she called him often and left voice messages or phone texts. Lots of Baby I was so wrong, I was such a fool, I miss you, I'm done with Corvel, There is no man but you for me. He sent a text to her phone that he would only correspond by email going forward. She was free to email whenever the mood struck her, and that he would respond when and if he felt like it. He made it clear he did not want to be close to her, but would be cordial. She was only to use the phone if there was an emergency or something time sensitive, like someone had died.

Kim resigned herself to raising her daughter as a single mom. She dodged a bullet by keeping her job with the agency. They had made it clear that even without a baby in the picture, her on-job sexual misbehaviour meant that there would be no more postings at any of their weather stations, Antarctica or otherwise. In fact they had even considered sacking her altogether. She was saved because the optics of firing a pregnant woman or, later, a new mom would not play well. And she did still have value. She was a talented climatologist, well-regarded among her peers and could analyse data. Kim would work from the Boston office. She considered it a good deal. A job that paid well, good health benefits for her and the baby. And she got free daycare at work. By the following year, she had enough money to get a two bedroom condo a couple of towns closer to her work in Boston. Her daughter needed her own bedroom.

Scott was still in his condo. In the romance department, he had been playing the field for a while, but lately had his eye on a girl he'd met through work. She was a divorcée named Josie. She owned a vending machine company and his place of business was one of her customers. She was born in Puerto Rico to an Anglo mother from New Hampshire. They'd dated a few times and he thought there might be something there.

By the third year, Scott's relationship with Josie was an on and off thing. At the moment it was off. She would go down to visit her father's family in San Juan periodically. He knew she still had contact with her ex-husband down there because he was a close family friend and there was no avoiding him when she was there. The ex still wanted her and held out hopes of winning her back. Scott was rattled at the thought of being stuck up here while she was down there in proximity to her ex. It was as if Puerto Rico was his new Antarctica. Or his new White Plains. Scott was worried that one day she'd come back pregnant. So he had cooled things down with her.

It was around this time that Scott ran into Kim and her daughter. Scott was in McDonald's, standing at the counter ordering a couple of cheeseburgers and a coffee when he saw Kim and a little girl walk out of the ladies' room. Kim had come back into town to visit some friends and got a Mommy I Need To Go Potty from her three-year-old while they were passing a McDonald's. She was not planning on staying but on the way out she saw Scott and came over to say hello. Scott asked if they'd had lunch yet, and ordered another burger and coffee for Kim and a chicken nugget happy meal for Andie, as it turned out. She was Andrea Esposito. Kim told Scott she couldn't use the name Chance for another guy's kid and that she wanted the same name as her baby, and she was not going to name the baby Corvel after the bio-dad when she had no intention of marrying the guy herself. So they both took her maiden name. Scott had agreed that it sounded like the best solution. Since Kim had brought up his name, Scott asked if Corvel factored into either of their lives. Kim let it be know that Corvel was totally out of the picture, and that she intended to keep it that way. She also told Scott that Corvel's marriage imploded the same time hers did. He was not only banned from missions but he was also fired from the agency. Neither of them had thought Kim was subordinate to him but the agency looked at his seniority in that light and used it as a pretext to get rid of him. He had destroyed another female colleague's marriage some years back. Back when the good old boys ran things and issued slaps on the wrist. He got no pass this time.

Kim asked if he was dating so Scott told her about his on and off thing with Josie Torres, and that he would soon be going down to PR to see if there was anything left of the relationship to salvage. Then, for reasons Kim didn't understand, Scott suddenly went silent for a minute, and Kim noticed he was watching Andie eat. Then he looked at the time and said he had to go to a meeting. I would later learn from Scott that he suddenly regretted inviting them to sit with him. He had just been trying to be nice and hadn't thought it through. But midway through the meal it struck him that he was sitting across from the child she'd had with another man while they were still married, and the full impact just hit him. He suddenly felt sick and apologized for having to run to an appointment.

We did not hear anything further directly from Scott, but we did hear about him through Kim. He let her know that he had not only put things back together with Josie, but that they had married. Josie had sold her vending machine company in New England and Scott had taken a job in San Juan. They settled down in Puerto Rico and had two kids. Josie was happy being a stay-at-home mom.

Kim did continue to keep in contact with us. She gave us a bit more insight into her decision with regard to her baby. She considered giving her up for adoption. But two things weighed heavily on her. She had aborted her first child. She thought abortion was a sin and an abomination. It was part and parcel of her Catholic upbringing and she held fast to her belief. She had terminated out of a desperation to save her marriage. But the marriage was already doomed before she aborted, and she just didn't know it. So she was consumed by a guilt that ate at her and made her despondent. If she'd known that her husband knew about her secret pregnancy and already was considering divorce, she'd have saved her baby. So in her own mind, she'd killed her baby for nothing.

So, she felt a duty to care for this new child, a duty that bordered on holy obligation. She could not let this child slip through her fingers. With regards to motherhood, she'd probably never have another opportunity. Her marriage was already coming to an end. There would be no husband to father more children or help her raise them. She once had a good one and now he was gone. Early on, she had considered a multitude of options, both likely and unlikely. Maybe she'd meet a guy and get married. Maybe Scott would calm down and come back to her. Maybe she could swallow her disgust and wait for Corvel's wife to kick him to the street. Lots of maybes she couldn't bank on. The only thing she could count on was herself. She would be a good mom this time.

Corvel got tossed out by the Missus. She found out about the affair with Kim, found out why he lost his job. Corvel made no effort to contact Kim or their daughter. Kim decided it was for the best. She didn't need child support. She was doing OK. Corvel wasn't all that appealing to her anyway. He'd only been a port in the storm. The possibility of Scott coming back was slim but would get slimmer yet if Corvel was underfoot. No, it was Scott or nobody for now.

Kim later became aware that Scott was dating. In time she became aware of his relationship with Josie Torres, and their eventual marriage. Kim found it sad to think that she was finally in the position where she could now give Scott the life he'd wanted. No more travelling. Settled down. Raising a child. But Scott now had that life, too. With another woman. It was all wishful thinking anyway. Scott could never have raised Corvel's kid. Hell, Corvel himself wasn't interested in his own kid.

********************************************************

JACQUES D'ORMÉVEUX:

I awoke before dawn, a little earlier than usual. I was meeting Sunnie for coffee this morning before work. Is coffee a real date? Well it's certainly not dinner and sex, which is what a lot of people see as the classic date. But this feels more important than that. I really want to spend time with her in a non-work setting. I felt all jazzed up when I'd texted her from bed before falling asleep. Her texts were naughty and exciting.

Well, she is a naughty and exciting girl. But she was just not my type and the whole thing gave me pause. I'm not attracted to wild girls, bad girls, sluts, call them what you will. But I just spent the morning reflecting on all this as I got ready. Why if she was everything I would normally avoid did I want to spend time with her? Why was I so attracted to her? She just had to be something more than the slut she professed to be. I was feeling it but I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was.

We certainly have marked personality differences. I'm reserved and shy, she is ebullient and outgoing, bouncy and cheeky. I have a dry, understated sense of humour, she is just chipper and goodnatured and carefree. She is definitely more of a free-spirit than what I'm used to. Even our texting styles: I know I'm rather straightlaced... I think in linear progression and use complete sentences, punctuation, and full words. But texting with Sunnie is like texting with a high school girl: abbreviations, jump from topic to topic. Half the time it's like deciphering some damn hieroglyphics. Which is strange because she is 32 years old, 4 years my senior. But she is so physically slight and has such a youthful joie-de-vivre that I often feel like the adult in the relationship.

This is new territory for me. I had girlfriends in high school and college. But I never invested anything of myself in those relationships. My focus was academics. I fast-tracked my way through it all. Skipped a year of high school. Took college level courses at the same time I was doing my high school requirements. From the time I started 9th grade, I did 8 years worth of schooling in 6 years. Breezed through the masters programme. Had my doctorate by age 25. Scholastics took up virtually all of my time, and so my dating life suffered. Nobody wanted to be my "girlfriend" if it meant going on a date twice a month or whenever my schedule allowed.

I'm not a virgin. Because I skipped grades, most of the girls in my class when I was 19 were 23 or 24. That year, a girl from my study group relieved me of my virginity on a blanket in a park late one night before she went home to her husband. I was conflicted. The sex was great. The guilt about the husband was not. I vowed I'd never have sex with a married woman again, and I've held fast to that.

I was never adverse to one-night stands, once I'd acquired a taste for sex after that first time. It was either get a steady girl or do without. No time for steadies, and no desire to do without. I had one girlfriend after I got out of school. It lasted a year and a half. She cheated, which I'll accept as karma for losing my virginity to another man's wife. The girlfriend was comfortable but had never really set my world on fire, so perhaps it was due to fizzle anyway. Maybe she sensed that as well, hence the infidelity.

Since then, I date a little here and there. Setting up my practice has made settling down a low priority. But now I have met someone. Someone different to everything I ever expected. She is under my skin, and consumes my thoughts. I don't want a woman with her kind of history. I can envision nothing but trouble and heartbreak. I shiver when I think of how wonderful it would be to hold her. I shudder when I think of others doing the same. This woman could fulfill me or destroy me. And now I'm meeting her for breakfast.

************************************************

SUNNIE LaMATINA:

Why am I all a-tizzy this morning? I'm going to meet Jack at the Brekkie this morning for coffee. So why does it feel like I just got asked to the senior prom? I get hit on by guys all the time. I even do my fair share of hitting. Hell, I'm not shy. I look like I am but really I'm not. But today my tummy's doing cartwheels. Jack is definitely not my type. So what am I doing? Why can't I get him off my mind?

He sure seems to like me. I mean, he looks at me different than other guys. Yeah, ok, he still looks at my body. He has this almost helpless look as if he's been swallowed up in the quicksand of my sexuality. Heh heh its kinda cute. But while other guys look at me like a piece of meat, Jack seems to look at me like I'm a thing of beauty, a work of art. Which I just don't get. I don't really think of myself in those terms. I get the whole piece of meat thing. I give off that vibe. But I'm not really all that beautiful am I? At least I don't think so.

He seems to appreciate something deeper within me. We laugh at stuff together, which is nice, but there's something sorta earthy about my sense of humour but there is something sorta cerebral about his. I really feel something for this guy, beyond my usual dampness. And I can feel the difference between how he regards me and how other guys do. They want to use me and then toss me aside. And I let them. No one wants a slut for any longer than it takes to get what they want. But Jack wants to be my knight in shining armour. Ha! I can tell when we text that he wants to save me from the men that I don't even seem to want to save myself from.

He gives out a nurturing and protective vibe. Sometimes I joke and call him my Hero, but it's really no joke. Funny thing, when he gets like that, I feel myself wanting to be saved.... not sure why. I keep going back to my looks. Maybe because guys seem to put lots of stock in that and I feel that I come up short. I've always had an an inferiority complex about that. I know I'm not classically beautiful. I'm kinda mousy. I know the one thing I've got going on is that my petite stature intrigues a lot of guys, and I do know how to move gracefully and sexily. And I also know how to flash my eyes and smile.

Around all the other guys that just wanted to shag me, I feel confident. I know what they are there for, and I know how to deliver. And these guys are a dime a dozen so I never have to work too hard to keep them. Another one is always around the corner. But Jack makes me more nervous than any other guy I've ever known. He's different. He's special. I'll really need to proceed with caution. He isn't disposable like the others. He isn't easily replaceable. Hmm, I've never met a guy that concerned me as much, made me question myself like this.

There is something familiar about him... but I just met him! There's an electricity that I feel when I'm near him, a static charge that runs through me when I feel bold enough to touch him. Like rubbing a balloon on my Italian arm hair. Ha! He's very handsome and well-built. He checks all the boxes on my good-looks list! Is this the guy I'd give up everything for? Is this the guy I could be faithful to? Dammit, sometimes I'm too terrified to get too close even though the two of us flirt like crazy. If I tried to make a go of it and then slip back into my old habits, I wouldn't forgive myself for hurting him.

Jeez, he only asked me to join him for coffee. As excited and nervous as I am, I know I've got to play it cool. But how do I do that? I've been playing it cool since, like, forever. Keeping everyone at bay, emotionally. Keeping the wall to my heart up. Shit. I know it. I know I'm wounded. I have figured out ways to survive my past. The traumas. Yeah, I survived. But I still know the truth. I'm damaged.

************************************************

JACQUES:

I got to the Breakfast Nook five minutes early, and Sunnie got there three minutes early.

"Good morning, Jack! Look at us, we're fashionably early!"

We stepped right up to each other and gave each other a hug. To say that we rushed into each other's arms might be a bit of an exaggeration but not much. And the hug lingered. We had flirted and exchanged light touches, but this was the first time we were in each other's arms. And the lingering felt so right. Then we broke the embrace because we knew we were supposed to, but not because we wanted to. We looked into each other's eyes, nodded to each other and walked into the Brek.

"So boss, what looks good on the menu?"

I chuckled, "Boss, eh? You don't even call me that at work. Let's be frank.... is this breakfast with the boss, or breakfast with me?"

"Jack, you were the one who asked if it was okay to see me outside the office. What did you want this to be when you asked me that?"

"Sunnie, I think it's pretty obvious that we are trying to work out real feelings between us. I want this to just be Jacques and Sunnie having some time together, outside of work. Ha ha I know that it gets complicated from here keeping work separate from this... this... whatever This is."

"Look, baby, let's keep things uncomplicated. When you and I are together like this, we won't talk shop. When we are at work or at some work function, I won't call you Baby or flash my tits."

"Um, flash your tits? Is that what you do on a date?"

"Are we on a date right now, baby?"

"I'd like to call it that... yes."

"Then that's what I do on a date." At that point, Sunnie slid the top of her dress off her shoulders, did a subtle shimmy, and the neckline sild down. The first hint of cleavage came into view. She shimmied some more. Her well defined breasts became apparent. One final shimmy exposed a nipple and in the flash of an eye she pulled her dress back up and over her shoulders.

It was all over and done with in five seconds. I looked to the left and the right, half expecting everyone in the place to be staring and drooling. To the left, the waitress was at another table pouring coffee. To the right, some old guy had his nose buried in the sports sections.

And right in front of me, Sunnie sat with her hands knuckle-folded atop the table, a sweet but amused look on her face. "How are you enjoying our date so far, Jack?"