Betrayal and Redemption

This is a work of fiction and does not relate to actual events. While some authentic geographical points may appear, any person, building, event, company or descriptions thereof are completely fictitious. Issues such as proper birth control and STD prevention are incorporated without specific mention. No one under 18 engages in sex.

Each episode should be freestanding, but reading in order allows the reader to follow the character development better. Part 7 brings a bump in the relationship of Joe, Ann and Paul. Joe gets a surprise visit from a figure from his past who brings startling news.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Joe closed out the ticket on his phone before he put on his coat and walked out the door. Snow covered the ground and the many locomotives and other items on display at the Colorado Railroad Museum. Flakes fell on his jacket and stayed until he brushed them off. The sky remained dark. A wall of black clouds approached from the north. His watch said 2:06 p.m. Based on his glance at the queue, this might end his day.

The snow made him glad he drove his personal SUV rather than the company van. Proceeding gingerly, he left the CRM parking lot after a long wait. All the vehicles were moving at less than 10 MPH. He drove west to join the freeway before steering the rig off onto Highway Six. This path was closer to his office and experienced less traffic than using the freeway.

The distinctive tone he programmed for Caples Computer sounded in his speakers. He pushed the connect button on his steering wheel. He was about halfway back to the office.

"Yes, Stacy. Is there another ticket in the queue?"

"No. The boss wants to talk to you face to face. When will you be back?"

"Probably less than ten minutes..." He stopped talking as a car sped around him in the falling snow. "Stupid drivers. I will get there unless someone runs into me."

"Head straight to his office. He is waiting for you."

He wondered why Hank Caples wanted to talk strongly enough to call him on the road. They usually touched base when he returned. Maybe another trouble ticket had come up and Hank didn't want him to get sidetracked.

Over the next ten minutes, Joe thought back to the massive changes in his life over the past six months. Most importantly to him, he would become a father in less than seven months. He looked forward to spending the night with his girlfriend, Ann. Their unconventional relationship boggled his mind sometimes.

Ann was the real deal. Her sharp wit and often pithy language had made him frantic to bury himself inside her. He hoped he wouldn't screw up their relationship. In the past week, he and Ann had said they loved each in Paul's presence. He said he approved.

On the work front, decisions by his boss lowered his overall workload and improved his income. Caples Computer Services expanded this past year. Hank moved into a building twice the size of his former location.

His son, Grant, officially joined the company and opened a sales and repair outlet in the same strip mall. Over the past six months, they grew 30 percent. Joe now directed the internet and network part of the business while Grant took care of hardware issues.

As he turned off the main highway and along the street leading to CCS, his thoughts drifted back to Tuesday night's session with Ann. She wasn't showing yet. The early morning vomiting and illness were still issues, but her biggest problem involved smells. He had to stop wearing cologne and change his body wash and soap. He always showered before he drove to her house.

Thinking about how he and Paul had spit roasted Ann brought a tingle to his cock. Their unconventional lifestyle wasn't for everyone, but Joe enjoyed it.

They had renewed their plea for him to move into their house, but he wasn't sure yet. His only sister was okay with it, but his mother would not be. Since she struggled with lupus, he didn't want to make her illness worse.

He parked in his spot on the outer edge of the mall so customers could park right next to their offices. Vehicles used only a few spaces. He put on his heavy parka and started the journey across the lot. The overnight storm left the day below freezing. The continuous snow darkened the day.

Even after more than two years of living in the Denver area, he still struggled with the high levels of snow and extreme cold. But his life was in Denver now. This was his new home. Making Ann pregnant ensured his continued residence in Denver.

Stacey greeted him as he entered and took off his coat. "Hank said to go right in. His door will be closed." He usually kept the blinds closed over the large window on the front of his space to reduce the cold from the warehouse. His boss had an open-door policy when it wasn't closed.

He tapped courteously on the door before he pushed it open. He stopped as memories flooded his mind. What the fuck. After all this time. Why was his ex-wife, Casey, sitting in Hank's office?

The sight of Casey's whitish-blonde hair started fireworks in his mind. She stood. Turned toward him. Their eyes met. A shaft of fear and desire shot into his heart.

"Hello, Joe," she said, her voice tightly controlled. "I know I disappeared. But changes in my life made me want to talk to you."

"I told her about Randolph's Restaurant," Hank interjected. "They have reserved the small room for you until five."

"Thank you, Hank. I don't want to feed the gossip mill." He used a cubicle and everyone could see who came and went.

He turned to his ex-wife and examined her body as she stood before him. She wore a pair of dark blue tailored dress slacks, a cream-colored blouse with lace on the top, and a dark blue tailored jacket. Oddly formal. Like Ann wore when she worked as a therapist.

She looked the same, but something was different. He wasn't sure of what. But her aura was different. More confident, maybe. He wanted to find out. Why? He didn't know.

"We can walk if you want to brave the cold. It was tough at first, but I've grown used to it."

"That is fine. I have a heavy coat and a hat that stood me in good stead earlier today." She grabbed a large purse from the floor by her chair and put the strap over her shoulder

Joe stood aside and let Casey pass through the door before he turned to follow her. Old habits die hard. He barely kept his hand from trailing across her hip when she passed.

He still felt a connection. He watched her ass intently. She had the same wiggle when she walked that caused his cock to twitch. Memory is never reliable, but she appeared broader abeam than he remembered.

Once at the coat area, she put the purse down. "Which is your coat?" he said.

"The dark red one." She pointed at it. He helped her put it on before he shrugged into his. She pulled a woolen hat from the pocket and placed it over her head before she put on gloves.

They didn't speak until they exited the building. "Let's stop by my car," she said. "I have something I need." She got inside, opened a briefcase, took out a manila envelope and put it in her purse.

"You look the same, but different. I can't tell what it is because you are as buff and fit as ever, but there is a distinct change. I appreciate you taking the time to talk," she said once she closed the car door. "I was scared you would turn me down when you saw me and walk out the door."

"To be frank, I'm curious about where you've been. What have you been doing? About a month after the divorce became final, you disappeared. My sister has been sending the money from the house rental to your mother."

"Yes. I will explain everything soon. For now, let me say it is nice to see you again."

"I'll second that. While this may sound strange," he said, "I missed you."

"I missed you too. I'll explain why I came back."

"I'm curious how you found me," he said. "I did not know where you were."

"I already knew you moved to Denver as a lateral move for INS. Rather than try to get information out of a corporation that large, I called your sister a week ago. For reasons I'll explain later, I asked her not to say anything. I didn't explain why. She was kind enough to give me your work and home information."

The odd bits of snow crunched under their boots as they walked along the mostly cleared sidewalk. Another block passed before they talked again. He didn't know about his ex-wife, but he felt much differently about her than he had before last summer.

"We're close to the restaurant now. Sally Randolph, the owner, wants to know about everyone who comes in. That is the way she is. I'll introduce you as an old friend."

"That's fine. I'm glad you still think of me as a friend."

Once inside, he introduced the two women to each other after he helped with her coat. He took his parka off too and handed them to Sally.

She led them to the small meeting room. "Any drinks?"

"My usual," he said. "Casey?"

"Regular tea for me. Despite my heavy coat, I got slightly chilled."

They sat quietly, looking at each other until Sally returned with the drinks. Before that day in March, he felt like he could read her mind through her body language and her face. That was no longer true. Whereas before she continually moved or hummed, she sat completely still; her face a mask.

Once she left, Casey took the manila envelope from her purse and placed it on the table between them. "No matter what happens today, I will give you this envelope. I promise."

She paused. Her words hung in the air like a balloon moving around in the heated air. He watched indecision cross her face as she talked silently to herself. With the issue resolved, she leaned forward slightly and picked up her tea, holding like a hot potato. She sipped and put it back down.

"I've been talking to a therapist for the past six months," she said, her voice still tight and controlled. "We discussed how to approach this meeting. I'm following her suggestions. Okay?"

"Fine with me. Why search me out now after nearly three years?"

She clasped her hands tightly in front of her with the knuckles white from the pressure. She fixed her gaze on the rim of the teacup. Her eyes darted between the door, the cup, and Joe's face. She quivered slightly and removed a stray strand of hair from her face and placed it over her ear.

Almost as if she had decided after a debate, she looked directly at her ex-husband. She unclasped her hands and dropped them to her side.

"I've rehearsed this speech several times. But I'm still unsure of what to say. I'm afraid I might chicken out. For that reason, I'm asking you not to speak until I finish. Can you do that?

"Certainly. I may nod my head or make a simple statement, so you know I'm listening. But I won't ask questions or anything else. Agreed?"

"Thank you." Casey clasped her hands together again, hard enough her knuckles turned white. "Sorry. I need my notes."

Joe began a process common to him from his active sports days. One by one, he willed the noises coming under the door to fade away. The clangs and bangs coming from the kitchen. The noise of the blowing heat. The murmur of voices.

He dismissed them all. When he finished, he laid his hands flat on his legs and leaned forward slightly.

Casey watched her former husband center himself. She owed him so much. He taught her to concentrate. To shut out all the outside buzz. His counsel helped her in her job as a flight nurse in Maine.

Outside, her hands trembled. Inside her stomach, she felt calm and focused. Explaining herself was the most important thing in her life.

She retrieved several sheets of paper from her purse, unfolded them, and smoothed them out on the table. She stared at them for nearly a minute while she fought to control her emotions. She picked up her cup and sipped the tea. When she looked at him, he spotted the resolution in her eyes and her jaw.

"The therapist gave me these words. To make sure I'm telling them the way she recommended, I'll read them. But they are from my heart."

She paused for a few seconds to gather her courage. Finishing her silent prayer, she began. Her voice quavered as she read.

"I was wrong. You were right. I cheated on you.

"I apologize for that. All I can say is that I firmly believed I was right and did for a long time."

She stopped. Looked at him. He kept his expression and posture neutral.

"I remember saying to you I had been trying to make things better. I believed my words. You said you did too. I told you I had taken Lucy as my lover. I was bringing the joy I found with her home to help make us better.

"After talking to a therapist, I understand how terrible it was to seek joy elsewhere without talking to you first. I apologize. Despite knowing I don't deserve to be forgiven, I am asking you to forgive me. I expect nothing back other than to hear your words."

Instead of avoiding his eyes when she stopped reading, she looked straight at him. "Can you forgive me?"

Joe brought his hands from under the table and placed them loosely on top. He leaned back for several seconds before he leaned forward again.

"I forgive you. There is more I can say, but I don't want to disrupt your speech."

"Thank you. That alone is worth the trip." He noticed moisture in her eyes.

"To continue," she said as she looked at the paper again, "I asked the therapist why I did that. The short answer involves my father's strict attitudes and beliefs. Without realizing it, I always sought his approval, which I seldom received.

"The therapist said that, at least based on what I told her about my dad and you, I had a lack of self-esteem. That I needed to accomplish something on my own. That I attached my feelings toward my father to you. Subconsciously, I felt that if I told you about my attraction to women, you would reject me. In the end, you did anyway, but because I cheated.

"It's taken me nearly a year of therapy to understand how wrong it was to do what I did. I apologize to you for sleeping with someone else without your knowledge and consent. I apologize to you for thinking I was sharing my joy with you. I was, in fact, cheating. I realize that now."

She stopped to sip her tea again and look at the paper. Her face changed into something more appealing, the sort of look she often gave him during their early days together. She sipped more of her tea.

"This has been a journey of discovery for me. Perhaps if I hadn't decided during our first college years not to explore sex with women, our marriage might not have ended the way it did. But you know my father. He hated gays."

"I hear you," Joe said.

"I want to make one firm statement before I continue. I love you, Joe. I have from the time we moved to Elgin during our seventh-grade year. Despite everything that happened between us and since we divorced, I still love you."

She was no longer reading the paper. Her eyes stayed firmly on him, except for brief flickers to read his body language.

"Please let me explain further. My time with Lucy opened new doors for me. Given how we broke up, she had no time for me.

"But another woman accepted me. I doubt you knew her or had met her.

"Darlene worked as a Life Flight nurse. She was applying for a position in Maine. You know that's always interested me. I had to take additional training, which I didn't finish until June 2012. There are reasons for the extended time, which I'll explain later.

"She and I didn't last long. Over the past three and one-half years, I've dated both men and women, most of them for three or four months before we break up. The last woman I dated called me out one day. The condensed version of her comments went like this.

' "I like you. I'd love to live with you forever. But you have unresolved issues surrounding your ex-husband that keep getting in the way.'

"That woke me up. I sought counseling, which led me to the conclusions I've told you about. I've mentioned that I still love you.

"I need you to be a part of my life in some manner. How is undecided? If you'll accept me. I'm not asking for a decision right now because we'll need to have many conversations before that happens."

She stopped and took several deep breaths while she looked elsewhere. Her eyes came back to him.

'That is it in a nutshell. I'm open to questions and comments. Frankly, I'm surprised that you didn't interrupt some of my statements."

He leaned forward and put his interlaced fingers on the table as he talked. He opened his previously guarded face to her with a pleasant smile.

"You said I'm different, but you weren't sure why. I went through extensive counseling too over the past six months. Many of the concepts you talked about, we talked about too.

"While I still don't agree with your decision to seek joy from Lucy, I understand why you did. At first, I didn't agree when the therapist said you probably suffered from low self-esteem, but the more we talked, the more I agreed.

"The therapist made sure I understood that since she hadn't talked with you, anything she said was guesswork. Based on what I told her, she suggested you always sought your father's approval and seldom got it. She said you probably felt the same way about me. You wanted to find a solution without me, and you hoped I would approve. Do you agree or disagree?"

"Oh, yes, I agree completely. I didn't recognize that need until I went through therapy. I spent most of the time since that day being pissed at you. For that, I am also sorry."

Joe sat back. "I still respect your father. He is not the bogeyman in this situation. He is what he is. Because I didn't have a father during my teenage years, I used him as an example to emulate.

"My therapist made a comment that stuck with me. She said that we all live in the shadow of our parents. In my case, I lived in the shadow of your father because mine wasn't there for me after he started drinking so heavily.

"Because of my birth father's absence, I adopted your father's morals and viewpoints. As both our therapists said, that was both a strength and a weakness in our relationship."

He let her digest the words. For the first time, she smiled. Her hand moved across the table and landed on top of his. Lightly. Not a firm grip. Just a touch.

"Thank you for confirming my beliefs," Casey said. "One more issue you didn't mention. When I talked about the two years in college where we dated other people, my therapist suggested it didn't mean much. She said we both knew who we wanted to marry and we never really got emotionally involved with the other person."

He turned his hand over and took hers. Squeezed it once and drew his hand back. He picked up the conversation.

"I agree. We talked about the same issue in my therapy sessions. I always loved you during that time and I knew we would get married."

"Same here," Casey said. "I think that is why the feelings I developed for Lucy hit me so hard. I didn't develop the deep emotional attachment that I had and hope I still have with you. But I felt something more than I had felt with anyone else. It made me happy. It gave me joy. I wanted to share that joy with you. But I've realized recently it was false joy."

He leaned back and considered her words. Time stood still for them, enveloped in a cocoon of uncertainty and desire. She knew the direction she wanted to go. She could tell he had more to say.

"I understand," Joe said. "Some of my history since we last saw each other, I can share. Some I can't without seeking someone else's permission first. It's already after three, so I don't know if I'll be able to reach this person, but I'm going to step into the hallway and call."

"That is fine. I should have stopped at the restroom first. If you tell me where the women's restroom is, I'll go now. You can close the door, and I won't re-enter until you open it and call me."