Burner Phones

The hotel concierge secured a table at Mizumi for Emma and me and shuttled us over. The restaurant looked spectacular in grand Vegas fashion without seeming cheesy.

As we began to sample some of the most delicious modern Japanese cuisine in the world, our conversation started with small talk about mundane topics such as the conference, how my kids were doing, etc. At some point, something made me steer things in a more personal direction.

"Can you tell me more about you and Jack?" I asked. "The two of you have been with each other for so long. It'll be very odd, and very sad, for all of us to see the two of you not together."

Emma hesitated. I could tell that she didn't want to talk about it but at the same time maybe felt that she needed to talk about it.

"You remember when Jack and I first got together?" Emma began, as I nodded. "It felt like we were made for each other. I mean, we were complete opposites, but not like oil and water. More like yin and yang."

"I can be kind of bossy," she said.

"I noticed," I said, causing Emma to laugh out loud.

She continued, "Well, Jack is so warm, so tolerant, so 'go with the flow'. He was the first guy who didn't get turned off by me. I could be myself around him, and it felt wonderful.

"At the same time, I think Jack kind of enjoyed being bossed around by me. Enjoyed being dominated a bit. So, in a strange way, we were a perfect fit.

"But over time, we realized that each of us wanted something more. Jack eventually got tired of me pushing him around all the time. I mean, maybe it was sort of a turn on for him at first, but anyone with a shred of intelligence or self-respect is going to push back sooner or later if they're continually treated like that."

"Why DO you treat peop...er...Jack like that?" I asked. I'm not sure why I said it. It's sort of like asking someone why they're obnoxious. I had assumed that's it's just the way they were born. I wasn't actually expecting a good explanation.

Clearly uncomfortable, Emma paused.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," I said with regret.

"No, it's ok, David," she replied. Emma remained quiet for a bit longer but then reengaged.

"I used to get teased and bullied a lot in school. About my looks, about my height, you name it. I was smart, but even that worked against me because it kind of made me stand out and therefore maybe more of a threat and a target to those kids.

"I was shy, and before all the bullying, believe it or not I was actually a nice kid. But one day, after this girl had just insulted me for about the fiftieth time in our lives, I just snapped. I don't remember exactly what she said to provoke me, but I responded to her with something cruel like 'How would you know? You're so stupid that you'll still be in fifth grade when everyone else is in college. And even if you do somehow manage to get into college, your stupid mom and dad will never be able to figure out how to pay for it. Do you even have a dad? No one's ever seen him.'

"To my surprise, my words made her crumble. I guess I hit a nerve somewhere in there. After that, I started to use my mouth as a defense mechanism. I discovered that I had a sharp tongue, and I weaponized it.

"Inside, I didn't like myself for a lot of the things I said to people and how I said them. The person I started to become made for a lonely existence, but at least I wasn't getting bullied anymore. Plus, it gave me a good bit of self-confidence that had been lacking.

"But I never figured out how to stop relying on that crutch. And then when Jack showed interest in me, it felt like I had found my happy place and didn't need to worry about it anymore."

"I assume Jack knows about this?" I asked.

"I've never told him," Emma answered. "I actually can't believe that I just told you."

"I'm no marriage counselor, but maybe you should talk to him about it," I suggested.

Our main courses arrived at an opportune time. I was glad that Emma had opened up to me a little (a lot, actually), but I could tell that it was hard for her. So I tried to guide our conversation back to something lighter.

"Do you remember when we took Kelly to Akashi? I asked Emma. "She had never had raw fish before."

"She was so squeamish!" recalled Emma, laughing. "We almost had to force open her mouth!"

The rest of our time at dinner that evening was engaging, full of many more "remember when" stories and laughs but also intriguing discussions on various issues of the day and the sharing of the remaining items on our respective bucket lists. Although Emma and I had been friends for nearly thirty years, it almost felt like we were on a first date where everything just clicks.

Our cheerful server came by with our check. "No rush, lovebirds. Stay as long as you like," she said. Her characterization made Emma and I chuckle but also nudged us back toward our real worlds, which we and our friends had just made a mess of.

"Ready?" I asked, after taking care of the bill.

"Yep," Emma responded with a small sigh.

"I really enjoyed being with you tonight," I said. "I mean, not being with you, but, well, you know what I mean."

"I do," Emma replied with a grin. "I did too, David. Very much."

We exited the restaurant and stepped outside into the refreshing nighttime desert air.

"Hey, should we walk back? It didn't seem very far on the ride over here," I suggested.

"Sure, that sounds good. It's nice out," Emma said, as we headed in the direction of our hotel.

I offered Emma my arm, which she accepted with an appreciative smile. Emma leaned into me and rested her beautiful head on my shoulder as we walked. Neither of us felt the need to force more conversation.

When we were about halfway there, Emma said, "I need to stop and rest my feet. I'm not used to walking in high heels so much."

"Oh, I didn't consider that," I said apologetically.

"No, that's ok," she responded, "I'm enjoying the time outside."

Emma sat on a short stone ledge next to the path we were on, and I took a seat on a flat bench across the walkway from her. She removed one of her heels and started rubbing her pretty foot, which had been the recipient of a pedicure earlier in the day. She gave an exhale of relief and then started working on her other foot.

I sat there and lost myself watching her in the moonlight.

"What is it?" she asked, noticing my attention after a while.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to stare," I apologized. "It's just, you've never been as beautiful as you are right now."

"Yeah well, hair and makeup can work miracles, as I'm finding out," Emma responded.

"That's not really what I meant," I started to explain. "Getting to know you a bit tonight... I mean even though we've known each other a long time, you were always with Jack, so you and I were always kind of at arm's length from each other... It's just... I mean you're a beautiful woman, and you're brilliant, and now that I know that you have this vulnerable side that you've kept hidden all these years... It's very, um, sexy... I mean you're very sexy."

I was getting quite close to vow breaking again, but I was sure that I could control myself. I wasn't looking at Emma as someone that I wanted to fuck, though she certainly was that. Instead, it was more like I was falling for a woman that I knew I couldn't have, and I was oddly ok with that.

Emma had stopped rubbing her feet and was now staring back at me. She got up, walked over to my bench, and wrapped her arms around me in a warm embrace.

"That's maybe the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me," said Emma through happy tears. "I was thinking the same sort of thing about you too, and I'm not just saying that.

"I've always secretly admired you because when our group has disagreements at work, normally you are the only one who will really challenge me. It probably didn't seem like it to you, but I always appreciated that. Well, almost always.

"So, don't tell Lauren, but I think you're sexy too."

Emma and I then kissed. It lingered longer than a peck but didn't cross the line. Ok, maybe it did slightly, but we quickly stopped ourselves.

"Maybe if our timing had been different," I said.

"I know," Emma replied, wistfully.

We resumed our walk back to the hotel. Emma shivered a bit in the dropping temperatures, so I gave her my blazer and wrapped my arm around her. We made it back safely, and I escorted her to her room.

"Not too late to change your mind," Emma joked, as she unlocked her door with the card key.

"I'm afraid I'll be sleeping alone tonight," I replied and then paused, "but I'll be thinking of you, Emma."

She broke into a beaming smile, gave me one last hug, and said, "Good night, David."

When I got back to my room, there was a message on my burner phone.

[red]: i'll be thinking of u 2. xoxo