Damn it Layla

"Damn it Layla!" I cursed while tripping over the charging cord attached to her laptop. It was my weekly laundry round up and as many times as I had asked my daughters to put their dirty clothes in the hamper, I still found myself scrounging around their rooms, looking for the bounty of clothes that I most certainly found stuffed into the nooks and crannies.

It used to be a way to act out my perverse fantasies while sniffing the crotch of a thong panty or a pair of worn socks. But when you have access to the real thing every day it just made the weekly laundry run a mundane afterthought.

Catching my balance while trying not to pull the laptop from Layla's desk I noticed the screen come to life. Instead of the normal screen saver or cute background of kittens and puppies I was greeted by the sight of a typed document. Normally I wouldn't have taken a second glance but the title caught my eye almost immediately.

Seduction and heartbreak: A cathartic analysis of a deserter.

Part One: Seduction.

It read like the intro to a scandalous novel and it definitely had my curiosity piqued. Both of my daughters were out and I knew they wouldn't be back for quite a while so I began to read over the first few lines of Layla's writing as her words seemed to pull at my curious mind:

"So I have to get this out or I'll go crazy. My mom just shattered my world a few days ago and I am still trying to figure out what happened. Staci says I should write out my thoughts in a journal but I suck at those so you get a first-person story instead as I can actually get my feelings out better this way. Anyway here goes:"

"Say it with me Lays! Fuck Liam Michaels!"

My best friend Staci shouted out loud as we sat in her car, parked in front of my house. No, it wasn't a pre-coital pep talk, in fact it was just the opposite. Liam, my boyfriend of three years had just broken up with me right in the middle of our senior year. I was blindsided at my locker, in the middle of a crowded high school hallway which only made things that much worse. To everyone we were the perfect couple, the envy of the graduating class, the lovebirds that had the whole world in the palm of our hands.

"F-fuck Liam M-Michaels." I snivelled, barely above a whisper, the tears streaming down my flushed cheeks. Try as I might I couldn't get his words out of my subconscious.

Sorry Lays, I know we had all of these plans but I want to...explore my options...

Yeah, options. Like watching him drool over the college cheerleader with the big tits who came to our pep rally. Options. Like any education he got was because he needed to keep a certain GPA to stay on the football team so the teachers cut him so much slack it wasn't funny. It was all that was running through my mind as the cold November rain splattered against the windshield like so many of my broken dreams.

"C'mom Lays, put some heart in it. Fuck Liam Michaels!" Staci really bore down on her last attempt, like her high pitch was trying to shatter windows. Remembering back to the scene in the hallway it was amazing to watch her take Liam down a few notches during his break up speech. She really is the true definition of a best friend - loyal, caring, loving and she has my back, almost like the sister I never had and I love her so much.

"Fuck Liam Michaels!" This time the words came from deep within my chest, like they were searching for their own voice. As weird as it sounded, I was beginning to enjoy the catharsis behind the words. Anyway, it wasn't like he was hot shit in bed either. His version of foreplay was sticking his rough fingers inside me like he was fishing for something before shoving his dick in and pumping for a few times before he shot a load on my ass or stomach. Like, thanks for the foreplay, asshat. Great times. Ugh. Are all guys like this?

"That's it Lays! You're getting there! Now one more time, I want to go deaf!" My best friend cheered as by now my tears had stopped, due in part to her silliness the other due to the fact that the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the breakup may have been a blessing.

"FUCK LIAM MICHAELS!!!!" We shrieked in unison until my face turned red and my voice began to crack. Staci was right there with me, the expression on her face mirroring mine, which was now contorted weirdly. I could see her uvula bouncing in the back of her throat and her eyes were bulging to the point of popping out of her head. Finally I had to stop as my cathartic scream was turning into a case of the giggles.

"Stop it!" I finally pushed Staci's face away while still laughing at her corny way of getting me to snap out of it.

"And she's back! Yay!" Staci clapped excitedly, her cheeks glowing red as we gulped in oxygen for the first time in what felt like years. I smiled back at her, working my jaw up and down to make sure I hadn't pulled a muscle in my neck.

"You're such a goof!"

"You love it!" Staci purred, laying her head on my shoulder while fluttering her deep blue eyes at me.

"Maybe. But you always know how to make me feel better."

"That's what friends are forrrrrrr!" She warbled, doing her worst Dionne Warwick impression, not that she was impressing anyone with the way she sang.

"Hey Stace? Thanks. Really. I don't know what I'd do without you." I sighed, letting the last bits of emotion float away with those words. Turning to her I could see the smile in her deep blue eyes, the ones that if I wasn't careful would let her get away with anything.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, you love me. Come here ya big lug!" Staci soothed, reaching for me as she wrapped her arms around my neck in a rough choke hold. I circled my arms around her waist as we just melded together, our sighs being drown out by the rhythmic sounds of the raindrops on the roof of the car.

"Besides, look at the bright side, you're a free agent now...Maybe it's time to switch sides...Just sayin'." Staci whispered in my ear as we held our embrace. One thing my best friend had a penchant for was saying the most inappropriate thing at pretty much the worst time, but I had become wise to her weird ways.

"Yeah okay..." I shot back comically with a laugh, opening the car door while watching to see if the woman was serious or fucking with me. When it came to sex and which side of the coin she landed on Staci was as much of an enigma as anyone. While I knew she was attracted to guys her underlying demeanor spoke to an interest in women as well, although to the best of my knowledge it was all just talk. I just wrote her off as half bi-curious. Not quite straight, but not quite not straight either.

"Text you later?" I smiled, leaning into the car, my long brown hair quickly getting drenched by the steady downpour.

"You know it chickee!" Staci winked back at me, shooting me a couple of finger guns. I just laughed again before closing the car door, waving as I ran to the relatively dry confines of the veranda. Kicking my shoes into the front door closet I bounced my way up to my room, throwing my backpack onto the bed before I began slipping out of my rain-soaked clothes.

Try as I might the thoughts of Liam soon invaded my brain once more and I began to over-analyze the conversation like I do so often.

I'm sorry Lays...maybe if things were different...

Yeah, and maybe if you actually put as much effort into us as you do to your stupid football! My mind screamed once more as I felt the tension in my stomach build. It was then that I caught my reflection in the mirror, my eyes gazing over my dark brown rain-soaked hair. I thought I was pretty, and not in a self-gratifying, stuck-up way. So what the hell was Liam's problem?

Sure, I didn't have the double D bazongas that the cheerleader had, mimicking my thoughts by running my hands over my bra-covered breasts. A nice eyeful that in the right hands would surely be appreciated. Pulling at the buttons of my skirt I let it drop to the floor, pooling at my ankles while my eyes slipped over the gentle curves of my hips. I wasn't toned by any means but I also wasn't hideous as confirmed by the slight bit of stomach bulge that I had.

"Oh, you don't want this anymore? You don't want to be with all of...this?" I whispered softly to my imaginary ex-boyfriend while giving myself the once-over in the mirror, slipping my fingers down to the waistband of my panties, teasing one side of the material down my hip before pulling it up again. Once more the painful emotions started to well up in my stomach and thinking back to Staci and how she told me to just let it out I stood back, arms braced by my side and let out another animalistic howl.

"Fuck you Liam Michaels!!!" My lungs burned as I let out yet another cathartic scream, listening to it echo off the walls which made it that much more gratifying. Just then my mom's voice snapped me from my thoughts.

"Lays? Is that you?" Her muffled speech questioned tentatively through the wall, like hearing her daughter scream was both frightening and surprising at the same time, being that I was mostly the soft-spoken type.

"Shit! Sorry mom I keep forgetting you're home!" I assured through the wall. That I had to say it the way that I did should speak volumes to how little my mom is actually present in my life. See, she is a world-unfamous archaeologist who thinks she's famous, if you were ever to listen to her talk. She is actually just a glorified shovel jockey for the actually famous Phillipe Moreau. Yeah, I never heard of him either. But the end result is that she is around less and less which keeps our relationship at arms length, for better or worse.

"Are you okay sweetie? You sound like you're in pain. And what happened with Liam?" My mother pined from the confines of the bathroom. I figured I'd better tell her the disastrous news and get that out of the way so I threw on a robe and headed down the hallway, stopping at the bathroom door.

"Hey mom, yeah sorry, it's just been a day. But we can talk about it after you're...done." I called through the door, not wanting to interrupt the woman if she happened to be answering nature's call.

"No, I want to know what happened now!" She barked back sharply before I sensed that she realized the reason for my hesitancy to enter. "Oh for shits sake I'm just taking a bath, get in here!"

"Ugh okay, but really it can wait, I'm fine." I started, peeking my head around the door. The room was dark, except for the remaining daylight that filtered through the window around the closed blinds and mom's strawberry scented candles that flickered over the bathwater.

"Layla Marie get your ass in here." She repeated, this time using her perfected motherly tone in conjunction with my middle name, which meant that she meant business.

"Yes mom." I agreed quietly, sluicing around the door like a worm slipping around a rock, standing next to the bathtub as my eyes adjusted to the lack of sunlight. The tub was filled to the point of spilling over, thick bubbles dancing over the surface for which I was grateful as the situation was awkward enough without seeing my own mother in all of her glory.

"So what happened with Liam?"

"He...um...b-broke up with me." I croaked, looking away from her while trying to remain steadfast but losing the battle quickly in my emotionally fragile state as the tears started sprouting from my eyes.

"Oh sweetie I'm so sorry!" My mother affirmed, her tone more comforting than anything which seemed foreign to me. "Come here."

She wanted to give me a hug but when her arms came up above the water so did the rest of her upper body. I froze.

"Mom...your boobs?" I stuttered, pointing to her still-firm for her age rounded glowing globes, the water glistening off the taut skin like liquid glass. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't tear my eyes away from them as suddenly her dark pink areolas appeared above the water line, quickly followed by her nipples. I just stared, not sure why yet still curious as to how her breasts seemed to defy gravity for a woman in her early forties.

"I think your need for comfort overrides my need for modesty right now princess." She toned matter-of-factly, like it was the most natural thing in the world to be hugged by your naked mother.

Unsteadily I lowered myself, kneeling at the side of the tub as her arms encircled me, the water soaking through my thin robe as she hugged me which soon made the material transparent. She just held me in the embrace for the longest time and I just melted into her bosom while we rocked back and forth a little.

"I'm fine mom, really. I mean the more I think about it the more I realize we weren't going anywhere anyway."

"Good! I didn't want to say anything but there was something off about him." She confided, a stern look of affirmation on her face as she ran a reassuring hand along the wet material that clung to my arms. I nodded my head in agreement while noticing that her gaze had now travelled to the transparent material of my white flower print bra. For some reason it wasn't cold in the bathroom, quite the opposite in fact, yet my nipples were hard and I soon realized that my mom was looking directly at them.

"Mom!" I shrieked, wrapping the robe around me as I suddenly clued in to where her eyes had landed.

"Oh stop!" She admonished, letting go of my arm before her hands slipped below the surface of the water. "Stop being such a prude. I was just admiring how firm you are. You have really developed into a beautiful young woman."

"I know, and it's kind of creepy." I responded, tying off the front of my robe while trying to maintain some sort of dignity. Not that it mattered, as the wet material did little to hide what was underneath.

"Anyway. I want you to clear your schedule tomorrow. I've decided that you and I are going to do some retail therapy, no arguments. It's about time I spent some quality bonding time with my daughter and this seems like the perfect excuse."

"But Staci and I..."

"No 'buts' young lady. Staci gets to see you all the time. I'm only home for a few more weeks"

"Yes, mom."

"And cheer up. I think you dodged a bullet. He had the personality of a wet noodle."

"Yes, mom." With that I got up and padded out of the bathroom, my wet skin breaking out in goosebumps as the cold air in the hallway drifted over it. Returning to my room I once again found myself in front of the mirror as I peeled away the damp robe and my now damp bra, throwing on a hoodie and sweat pants to help warm up before flopping down on my bed, scrolling through social media.

I just wanted to block out the outside world but as much as I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about what had been one of the worst afternoons of my life to this point. There was just something off about the way Liam spoke, like he was holding back as if he didn't want to break up with me. The more that I replayed the conversation the more I thought that there had to be something more to it than what he made me believe.

What finally snapped me out of my head was the sound of dad's voice as he announced that he was home. I quickly jumped up and ran downstairs, throwing my arms around him as he swung me around in a circle, a tradition that we'd kept up from my childhood. My dad was my role model, a family first kind of guy who made sure that he put as much effort into mom and I as he did with his work. I may have been a little biased but even though he'd put on a few pounds over the years he still looked great, in a sexy dad bod kind of way.

"Hey princess, how was your day?" He asked, setting me down on the ground.

"Liam and I broke up!" I chirped, almost happily from the fact that I was letting the last important person in my life know of the news.

"Oh? You don't sound like you're too distraught about it?"

"Meh. It was coming, I'm just glad it was sooner than later." I dismissed, like I was telling him what I had for lunch. But until I found out more about my suspicions, I was just going to go with it.

"Well good, I'm happy that you're...happy?" He said tentatively, gauging my facial expressions just to be sure.

"Yes daddy, it happened for a reason I know it. My prince charming is still out there." I giggled, dramatically throwing my hand up in the air like I was some kind of royalty. One thing that my dad was good at was being able to bring out the goofiness in me which made me forget about my problems for a while.

He then went upstairs to find my mom and I headed for the kitchen to start supper, humming and dancing around like today wasn't one of the worst days of my life. But of course I couldn't stop thinking about my mother's tits and it was getting frustrating to say the least. Until this point in my life I hadn't even glanced at her in anything other than a motherly way and I was determined for it to remain as such.

Supper was pretty uneventful as they always are around our house. Dad filled us in on the latest project that his company was working on which also meant that he was going to be going to Japan in a week to oversee some sort of complicated acquisition. It sucked because it was right around Thanksgiving which meant that he wouldn't be home for the feast that my mom always made a big deal out of, cooking way too much which meant that we were always donating leftovers to the neighbors.

After helping clean up I went back up to my room and fired up my laptop as I had a ton of research to do for a paper what was due just before the holiday. Settling in I texted Staci and told her that I had to cancel our plans for tomorrow afternoon because my mom wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.

"Really? Ugh you suck! Would it matter if I said I had a surprise for you?" Staci wrote, followed by a string of emotional emojis.

"Sorry Stace mom's pretty firm on this. Can we do the surprise tomorrow night?"

"Yeah, for sure no biggie! See you then ya goof!"

"LOL night."

With that I threw myself into my homework, determined to get a head start on it before the procrastination set in and I was scrambling at the very last minute. Again.

Next thing I knew I was waking up with a searing headache and a pool of drool all over my keyboard. Swearing out loud I glanced at the clock. Three-thirty. Great. Mom will probably have me up early while giving me shit for the bags under my eyes and playing the role of drill sargeant until we were out the door.

Not bothering to change I flopped down on my bed, curling myself up under the covers to try and eek out another couple of hours of sleep.

Suddenly the sound of running water jolted me from my slumber, if you could call it that, my eyes flickering while they adjusted to the sunlight that was now streaming through the window. Flopping on my side I looked at my phone. Six o'clock just as I had feared. It should be illegal to be awake this early on a weekend but just as I was about to turn over and milk some more sleep time my mother burst into the room.

"Get up sleepyhead!" She chimed happily, like she sadistically wanted to see me in my dishevelled, hair every where drooling phase of the morning.

"Mom! It's way too fucking early!" I grumbled back, still trying to get my bearings.

"Well I have a lot planned today so get your ass out of bed." She toned harshly, ignoring my pleas as she walked over to my closet and began to throw clothes at me.

"Here. Put these on." My mother ordered, throwing me a pair of yoga pants that matched hers, the ones with the almost see-through stripes down the thighs, followed by a sports bra of the same material. She continued to rummage through my closet until she found a sweater that I hadn't worn in years, adding it to the pile like she was taking the choice out of my hands completely.

"Ugh mom do I really have to wear that?" I groaned, coming around to the fact that she was wearing almost the identical outfit. Never mind the fact that we were going to be matching but I hated looking like a suburban housewife who walks their dogs and orders expensive lattes at the coffee shop while dealing with a mid-life crisis.