Explorers Club

Explorers Club Ch. 10: Cougar Lair

I felt like I was in a warm, cozy bath. I was back in the lagoon, at the waterfall behind Hale's house. Waves crashed against the beach and the cool wind blew strongly over my face. Professor Hale and Gracie were laughing and splashing each other in the water. Hannah and Frank were arguing about leather handbags. Someone emerged from the water and Jenny smiled sweetly at me and brushed her wet hair from her face. She looked adorable with her cute little button nose, soft lips, and those intense black eyes. She was wearing the same skimpy banana leaf outfit the fire dancers wore during dinner. Jenny placed her hands on my shoulders and straddled me. I groaned with pleasure as I entered her. She pulled down the banana leaves covering her chest. Two Spongebobs stared back at me with that insane, unblinking smile. Frank was yelling about an apple, for some reason.

"Come on buddy, I need an apple! And a rope!" Frank's voice yelled.

I could feel the lagoon slipping from my mind. The soft warmth and pleasure was being replaced by the roar of crashing waves and the ocean breeze.

I stirred and blinked, annoyed. Frank shook my shoulder again. The wind picked up, nearly pulling the bedsheet off me. I coughed, wondering if I was catching some kind of cold or chill. The waves crashed higher now, soaking my legs and my shorts. It was still dark, but the night was just barely starting to brighten.

"You gotta tie me up!" Frank said with crazed, wide eyes.

I winced as an intense headache washed over me. Last night's drinking was catching up to me.

"Come on! Get up!" Frank said, shaking my shoulder again.

"Go away!" I yelled, shoving him. He stumbled backwards into the sand and rolled sideways. I pulled the bedsheet back over me and twisted on my beach towel, desperately hoping to get back to the lagoon. To Jenny. But it was gone.

Frank shook me again. "You gotta tie me up like a hog-tied pig!! You gotta be my wingman, Perkins!"

"You look... crazier than the Spongebob boobs," I murmured.

Frank blinked, confused.

"Spongebob doesn't HAVE boobs, Perkins! Spongebob is a boy!"

"No, not Spongebob's boobs..." I corrected. "I meant... the boobs that are Spongebobs."

"What the fuck are you talking about?!" he said. "What does that have to do with tying me up and putting an apple in my mouth?"

"What the fuck are YOU talking about?!" I replied.

I winced as another headache struck me. It felt like someone was hammering a railway spike into my forehead.

"What's wrong?" Frank asked.

"Hangover," I groaned, and winced in pain.

"Well push through dude, we gotta get to the lair!" Frank insisted.

Finally, I let him pull me up to my feet.

"What lair?!" I asked. "Who are you, James Bond?"

"The cougar lair! Haven't you been paying any attention to what I've been saying?!"

The wind picked up and my bedsheet began to blow away. I chased after it, stumbling awkwardly through the damp sand until I tackled it. I balled it up to carry it.

"What are you doing?!" Frank said. "Why are you chasing a sheet?!"

"Well I need to return it," I murmured. "Otherwise it will go into the ocean and like... smother a fish, or something."

"Since when do you care about fish?" Frank asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I'm going to switch my major to biology, and I just think a biology major probably shouldn't be killing fish with bedsheets. Professor Hale would probably get mad at me."

"You're such a pussy sometimes, Perkins," Frank said, taking my arm. "Now come on, I need a wingman!"

"Frank, what the hell is going on?!"

* * *

We stumbled towards past the beach and through the empty pool area as Frank explained the situation. Luckily, there was almost nobody around at this hour to hear the rather insane words coming out of his mouth. But even after Frank explained the plan, I felt like I understood less than when he started.

"So wait," I said. "You texted Diane..."

"Yeah she said I could come by!" Frank said with an eyebrow wiggle. "There's just a few conditions. And I'm running out of time!"

"You texted this woman you don't know at three in the morning?" I asked. "And she actually responded to you?"

"Well, I kind of know her. And besides, I was very convincing!"

"What did you text her?"

"I'll show you!" Frank opened his phone and showed me. I winced and turned away.

"Frank I didn't need to see your dick!"

"Well you asked!"

"You could have just told me it was a dick pic!"

"Well.. you asked," he murmured, putting his phone away.

I shook my head to erase the image from my brain. "So... you're not even attempting to go after Hannah anymore?"

"Well I texted her too," Frank said.

"The same text, I assume?" I asked.

"Yeah," Frank admitted, with a shrug. "But she didn't respond."

"Shocking," I said.

"Well anyway, I need an apple and a rope," Frank said. "Oh, and honey! Can't forget the honey!"

"Why, exactly, do you need these things?" I asked.

"No idea!"

Frank took my arm and nearly pulled me through the lobby.

"Hold on, you two!"

We both stopped and turned.

"You two go to the hotel, right?" the receptionist asked us suspiciously. Then she focused on me. "Wait, you're the one who needed the bedsheet?"

"Yeah that's me," I said. "Oh yeah, I need to give this back. And yes we're both staying here."

"Can I see your room keys?" she asked, still wary.

Frank and I both patted our pockets and realized neither of us had a key. We both walked up to reception.

"Actually then I need a room key," I said. "Since I lost mine."

"Uh huh..." she said. She adjusted the large flower in her hair and typed something on the computer.

"Also, since we found you..." Frank asked. "We do actually need a few items."

"Of course, we love to help guests get whatever they need," she said, sweetly.

"Perfect!" Frank said, nodding. "We need an apple, a bottle of honey, and a rope."

The receptionist looked from Frank to me, and back.

"And not the kind of honey for cooking," Frank said.

The receptionist looked at Frank, concerned. "What other kind of honey is there?"

"Well I was hoping you had like... body honey," he said, mimicking the motion of rubbing his chest.

"Body honey?!" She looked again between us. "Are you sure you're guests here? Because I will need to look you up in the system."

I heard the faint voice of a woman grumbling and cursing behind the receptionist. A door was halfway open to a staff office room behind the front desk.

"What room are you two in?" the receptionist asked.

"I completely forgot our room number," Frank said, turning to me. "Do you remember?"

I shrugged.

"It's okay, we're personal guests of Tessa," Frank said. "She knows us."

"Well I'll just have to look you up, because she's occupied," the receptionist said, nodding to the door behind her. I heard the cursing again, and realized it was Tessa back there.

"Tessa's back there now?!" Frank said, leaning forward. His voice dropped to a whisper, but he wasn't as quiet as he probably thought he was. "You wouldn't happen to know if she's single, would you?"

The receptionist took a deep breath, but continued to focus on her computer. "What name is the room under?"

"Jessica Hale," I said. "We should be listed as guests-"

"I don't want to get you in trouble, of course," Frank whispered, continuing with his own side investigation. "How about... wink with both eyes if it's a yes. And if it's a no, wiggle your left ear."

"Sir, I'm not going to give you that information!" the receptionist insisted.

"Frank, stop it," I hissed under my breath.

"Oh I know I can't 'ask' for that 'information' 'officially'," he said, pulling out his wallet and not-so-subtly pushing a $10 bill over the counter. "I'm just saying, should your ear itch, or your eyes feel a little sleepy, don't be afraid to..."

"Sir, we don't divulge personal information about employees! We are only here to assist you and make your stay more comfortable."

"Well that's what I want, too!" Frank said.

"What's all this commotion..." the back door behind reception opened and Tessa emerged, red-eyed and looking exhausted. Despite what was clearly a long night, her hair was tied up neatly. Her jacket was off and she was just wearing the blouse she wore when she greeted us at the dinner table earlier. She still looked professional and beautiful, even stretched thin at this late hour.

Her tired eyes rested on Frank and her voice was low and gravelly. "Of course. I thought I heard your voice, Franklin."

"Tessa!" Frank said excitedly. He looked like a puppy wagging his tail.

"Whatever this is, I don't have time for it," Tessa said. "I should have been asleep hours ago, but I have a quarterly report tomorrow, and..."

"You want any help with the report?" Frank asked.

"What?"

Frank leaned forward. "I took a class on Microsoft Excel."

Tessa stared back at him blankly.

"They called me a... finger wizard," Frank said, holding up both hands and wiggling his fingers dramatically.

Tessa blinked and stared back. "I'm quite sure no one has ever called you that."

"Well, it was implied," Frank said.

"We'll be out of your hair soon, Tessa," I promised. "I just need a room key and we'll be gone."

"Well I'm glad one of you is normal, at least," Tessa said, sighing with relief. "We'll make you the key now," she showed the receptionist our room in the system and turned to me. "Why do you have a bedsheet?"

"I'm uh, returning it," I said, holding it up.

Tessa took the bedsheet and gave me a confused look. "You know you can just leave it for housekeeping, they'll get it in the morning. Anything you leave on the floor they will switch over. You don't need to bring these down."

"Well I didn't want it to go in the ocean and kill a fish," I said.

Tessa gave me the same blank stare she just gave Frank. Then she tossed the bedsheet somewhere behind reception. "I take back what I said about you being the normal one."

The receptionist turned to Tessa. "They also asked for rope, an apple, and a bottle of honey."

"Well, you don't have to, I mean, if you have it, or, well if you don't..." Frank stammered and stuttered, basically unintelligible.

The receptionist pointed to Frank. "He specified 'body honey', but I don't know what that means."

Tessa just shook her head at Frank. His eyes went wide and he stammered, trying to find words.

"Is that a common guest request?" the receptionist asked.

"No it's not," Tessa replied, and took a deep breath. I mentally prepared for her to lose it: to yell, to tell us to fuck off, or tell us to go bed. Instead, she just closed her eyes and re-opened them. "What kind of rope?"

"Uh..." Frank stammered.

Tessa leaned down and whispered something to the receptionist. The receptionist nodded and ran off. Tessa waited for her to go out of sight before turning back to us.

"She's getting the honey and an apple," Tessa said. "Now what I mean is... do you need the kind of rope that is meant to tie a hand to a headboard, or the kind of rope that ties a boat to a dock? Because those are two very different kinds of rope."

I gestured to Frank.

"The first one," Frank said.

Tessa snorted in amusement. "I had a feeling. And I do have such a rope, as well."

"Amazing!" Frank said. "I knew I could count on you, Tessa!"

Tessa smirked and leaned forward, over the counter. Both Frank's and mine dropped to her chest. There's no way she didn't know we were gawking.

"But if you want it, you two boys have to answer a question for me, first."

I shared a look with Frank, and we both nodded.

She pointed to each of us in turn.

"Who is the one getting tied up? And who is doing the tying?" she asked.

"Well, that would be me, getting tied," Frank said, pointing his thumb at himself.

"Really?" Tessa said, glancing at us both. "I would've guessed the other way around, for some reason."

"That's not what he means-" I began.

"Yeah, Perkins is tying me," Frank said, slapping my shoulder. "He's a good friend."

"Oh, I'm sure he is," Tessa said, grinning wickedly.

"Frank, that's not what she means!" I hissed.

"So just out of curiosity..." Tessa had her tongue in her cheek. She was clearly enjoying herself. "Is this always the arrangement, or do you two switch off between tie-er and tie-ee?"

"This is actually my first time getting tied up," Frank said.

"Oh ho!" Tessa said, smiling brightly. She stood back up and gave him a coy wink. "Trying new things at the Maluhia resort? I like that!"

Frank grinned wide and proud.

"Frank, she thinks we're tying each other up! You and me!"

"Well, we are!" Frank said.

"No, she thinks we're gay!"

Tessa's head moved back and forth watching us with amusement as if she was observing a tennis match.

"Oh shit!" Frank said, turning back to her, and waving his hands. "Noooo no no no!"

Tessa just smiled.

"Look, Perkins is just my wingman!" Frank said, patting my shoulder with as much bro energy as he could muster. "I am getting tied up, for a lady! Because I like ladies!"

"And that lady... wouldn't happen to be your beautiful faculty advisor and tour guide?" Tessa asked.

"Professor Hale?" Frank said, looking from me to her. "Oh no!"

Tessa raised her eyebrows. "I thought you were getting this fancy turtle island trip for her, weren't you? Wasn't this part of your plan?"

"That's a whole different thing," I said.

"Is it?" Tessa asked.

"Wait," Frank said, looking from me to Tessa. "Do you think Hale would be INTO like... something?"

His mind began working, and he stared blankly into the distance. I was glad that I didn't have access to exactly what he was thinking about.

"Tell you what, boys," Tessa said. She pointed outside. "You two go rinse off in the showers so you don't track all that sand over my newly cleaned floors. By the time you get back I'll have all your things at reception. And you'd better use that rope responsibly."

"Absolutely!" Frank said, standing at attention and saluting. "I am the most responsible man in this hotel."

"And the most sandy," Tessa said, gesturing towards the showers outside. "Now go wash off, please."

Frank saluted again and turned, running off to the showers. I began to follow when I felt Tessa grab the hem of my shirt.

"You," Tessa said. "Perkins, right?"

I nodded.

"Walk with me."

I walked slowly towards the showers with Tessa.

"It looks like you slept out on the beach?" Tessa asked.

"Yeah. At first I was in the cabana, then I moved to the beach."

"So... are you in the doghouse with Jessica?"

"What?"

Tessa turned to me and crossed her arms. "Did she kick you out there? Did you do something to piss her off and make her send you out there?"

"No, it wasn't that at all! It was another student, Gracie's idea to do a girls night..."

"Are you lying?" Tessa said, leaning close to me, eyes narrowed. "Because if you did something to piss her off, I'll find out, and kick you out of this hotel."

"Honest!" I said, making a cross over my chest. I had never made such a motion before, and I wasn't Catholic, but it was all I could think of.

"So are you and Jessica an item, or what?"

I hesitated. "Why do you ask?"

"Well she was telling me about a cute boy on her trip she hooked up with," Tessa said. "I haven't heard her sound so giddy since middle school. It's you, isn't it?"

"Maybe she meant Frank," I said.

Tessa snorted. "He's an amusing boy, but not her type, I think."

"Well, maybe she meant Gracie," I said. "They're really close and I know Hale thinks she's very pretty."

"Perhaps, but she also asked me whether we have pregnancy tests," Tessa said, smirking. "And the Plan B pill."

"Oh shit," I said, sighing. I felt an idiot. I hadn't even thought about birth control.

"Yeah... that was me," I admitted.

"Why didn't you just say so?" Tessa asked.

I shrugged. "Hale was a little worried that if word of the two of us got out it could... well, be a problem for her back at college."

"Really?" Tessa asked, and shook her head. "She always assumes the worst. I've been trying to encourage her to come out of her shell ever since she got here. She's really her own worst enemy when it comes to dating, you know. She's terrible at it."

"Professor Hale?" I said. "I don't believe that."

"Why? Because she's hot?"

"I mean... yeah," I said. "I feel like she could have anyone she wanted."

"Well that may be, but she's also a ball of nerves, even if she is usually good at hiding it," Tessa responded. "But something about her is different this trip. She seems a little more free... a little more at ease perhaps. I'm guessing that's because of your influence. So, answer my question- are you two dating, or what?"

"Well..." I scratched my head. "She told me we're not serious. She doesn't seem to be into me like that."

Tessa shrugged, as if there was nothing more to say. We had already reached the showers. "Look, just don't give me a reason to kick you out of my hotel, okay?"

I nodded. "I understand."

"And make sure Franklin doesn't do anything stupid with that rope."

"I promise," I said.

"Alright now go wash that sand off," Tessa said.

"Will do," I said, turning towards the showers.

"Oh, and one last thing," Tessa said.

"Yeah?"

"We do have them."

"You have what?"

"Pregnancy tests. And Plan B pills." Tessa pointed in the distance. "And there's a pharmacy and a hospital nearby. Should you... need any more medical assistance."

* * *

I realized that without thinking about it, I had gone into the same shower where I had washed Gracie the day before. I dwelled on the memory, and the feeling of Gracie's incredible body as I undressed. I took off my damp and sandy shorts and underwear, hanging them on a hook outside the stall. As I did, I felt a buzz in my pocket and pulled out my phone.

Jenny:Can't sleep :(

I smiled.

Me:Why not? Is Gracie snoring?

Jenny:Hah a little. But mostly because the birthday girl made us do tequila shots. Terrible idea

Me:Haha sorry to hear that.

I turned on the shower. I was able to place my phone on the little wooden bench where it wouldn't get soaked. I turned on the lower spigot and washed the sand off my legs while I watched the phone like a hawk.

Jenny:Also I could use a big spoon

Me:Well maybe Gracie or Hale could big spoon you?

Jenny:They did! It was fun but Gracie fell asleep and Jessica got up

I raised my eyebrows at that and chuckled.

"You ready or what?" Frank asked from outside the stalls.

"Just about!" I said, and turned off the water.

Me:Got to go. Hope you get some sleep. I wish I wasn't kicked out of the room

I continued to watch the phone as I dried myself off.

Jenny:Go?! Where are you going????

I laughed to myself. I could hardly blame her for being confused, as I shared that confusion.

Me:Frank needs me for something stupid.

Jenny:At this hour?!

Me:Yeah I don't really even know what it is

"Perkins!"

"Nearly ready!" I called out.

My underwear and shorts were covered in damp sand, but they were all I had to put back on.

"We have to hurry!" Frank said.

"Why?!" I responded.

Jenny:I think you can come back. Gracie's asleep so she won't care. I just wanted to spoon for our last night. But sorry to bother you. Have fun with Frank.

I tilted my head, confused. I read through this latest string of texts three times. What did she mean by our 'last night'?

Me:Huh? We have the whole Turtle Island tour tomorrow. It lasts a few days. We can definitely spoon there.

There was a long pause. I held my still-sandy shorts in my hands as I watched the three little dots that showed Jenny typing a response. They popped up and disappeared multiple times.