Locum Tenens

~~~ Chapter Notes ~~~

Loki and Rilla are crossing the mountains to reach Furgrim's kingdom. All chapters in this tale are complete and have been submitted. Hopefully, the admins will release a new episode every day or so.

~~~ Furgrim's Kingdom ~~~

As we ate breakfast, Kira let us know that they had stopped for the night when they had reached the outposts - figuring that was the safest place to camp before heading into Sven's kingdom. She also informed us that she had sent a messenger back to her father - making sure that he understood what we wanted done on Valeri's behalf.

We finished eating our food, packed up the camp, and completed our descent down the north side of the mountains that separated the two kingdoms. We both breathed a huge sigh of relief when we finally escaped the foothills and were back on reasonably-flat ground.

The terrain seemed to fly by now - but it was still nearly midday by the time we got to the capitol city - and after lunch by the time we got to the palace. We were admitted through the gate after identifying ourselves. We were held there, however, until the king's guards could come get us. I handed over the letter from King Korl. The guard read it and then guided us to the receiving hall.

We waited for an opening in the docket and then were presented to the king. He read Korl's note and then announced to the court who we were and why we were there. He said that he and his guards would be traveling with us - starting the next day - to head out to deal with the goblins and hobgoblins.

I was a little frustrated. Rilla and I had busted our asses to get this far and now we were chilling our heels while King Big-britches got his shit together to give us the royal escort - which was going to travel at probably a quarter of the speed that Rilla and I could move. Rilla squeezed my bicep and cautioned me to keep my cool.

Once the king found out that we hadn't eaten lunch yet, he had the cooks bring us some leftovers that were still warm. We ate in a small side-room just off of the court. There was a guard posted outside and I couldn't stop thinking that we were either being studied or held prisoner. Rilla reminded me that they didn't know anything about us and were probably just being cautious.

After we had eaten, we joined other spectators of the court and observed as the king heard the petitions from the people. Rilla gave me a side-eye as I continued to sigh and fidget. I knew that she was thinking that he was just finishing his regular business before heading out. I was still frustrated that we weren't moving.

While the petitioners were still presenting their cases, a pair of advisors - sitting on either side of the king - continually leaned over to whisper into his ears. What made me most nervous was that one of the two - the one on the king's left - couldn't stop his eyes from flitting over to Rilla and me every so often. I couldn't tell if he was talking about us - or just checking out my wife.

I decided that I wanted to hear what they were saying. I imagined my little spirit spy-bird - but smaller. I tried a finch at first (instead of a raven). I made it appear at my feet. That worked well enough - so I tried to think of something smaller. I tried a hummingbird but it was too noisy. The wren that I created was almost larger than the finch - if shorter and squatter. I wondered if it had to be a bird and tried a butterfly. That worked but I decided that it was too colorful and would be noticed. My next attempt was a horsefly - but that was too noisy as well. In the end, I went with a housefly.

The housefly left my position, rose into the air, and flew along the wall until I could come in behind the king. I kept my face passive as I split my vision between watching where the fly was and looking through the eyes of the insect. I finally gave up trying to use my human eyes when Rilla nudged my shoulder to let me know that my eyes were crossing.

I flew in behind the throne and landed inside of one of the small ornamental sections that was carved completely through the intricately designed seat-back.

"The signature on the letter matches Korl's," the man on the left whispered.

"You're sure?" the king asked.

The man nodded - but the movement was barely noticeable - and could easily be interpreted to be related to the case that the petitioners were presenting.

"The petitioners are concluding," the man on the right told Furgrim. "Have the accused fined three silvers - which will be awarded to the plaintiff."

The king announced the verdict and then chatted with the pair while the seneschal dismissed the first group and brought in the next group.

I had almost decided that Rilla was right about the mountain king - that they weren't stalling or plotting - they were just doing the business of the court.

"This man's description matches what the spies told us?" the king asked.

"Yes," the man on the left said. "He's the one who nearly wiped out Brant."

"And rode a dragon against Sven," the other added.

"But neither have declared war?" Furgrim asked.

"Word is that he just returned from saving Brant's ass from both the giants and the orcs," the advisor on the left said.

"Sven's son is living in Korl's palace - as a hostage - though without chains," the one on the right said.

"So, if I act against him, I'll be chained, if I fight him, I'll be destroyed, and if I let him deal with the goblins, I'll be castrated."

"We needed Korl's help," the left one said.

"We didn't think this one would return in time to be sent," the right added.

"We can't defeat the goblins without him?" Furgrim asked.

"Possibly," the left said. "We had hoped to receive regular troops."

The right continued where the other left off, "We planned to put them at the front with our forces but then tell our men to let Korl's fighters take the brunt of the damage."

"That would help ensure that we're still strong when the battle is won," the left finished.

The king frowned.

"You've caught me in the middle of this mess," he fumed. "I suppose the two of you will be sitting safe inside the palace while I risk life and limb to babysit Korl's champion at the front lines?"

"We'll keep the masses pacified while you're away," said the left.

"We'll send along any fighters that Brant and Sven manage to provide," said the right.

"There won't be any," the king fumed, "you've already told me as much. They'd have to cross the mountains first. How did this one get here so fast anyway?"

"Only the gods know," the right answered.

The conversation died off as the petitioners began stating their case. When the advisors spoke again, all of their comments had to do with the case in front of them.

I decided that I was sort of okay with Furgrim. I was not okay with the other two. They were either scheming to get rid of me - or scheming to get rid of (or hamstring) their king.

I left the fly where it was and turned to Rilla. As quietly as possible, I relayed the information to her. I went back to listening in on their conversation while she communicated with Kira and the girls - seeing what their suggestions were. Hanna was a tactician - highly useful on the battlefield. I was hoping (and maybe praying a little) that she'd be able to come up with a solid plan for dealing with the situation.

Hanna didn't have an answer. Kira suggested suborning one or both of the advisors. If I couldn't figure out how to get them to answer to me, she suggested killing one and letting the other know that they were next if they fucked up.

I worried that I'd be opening Furgrim up to internal politics by removing his advisors but Kira basically said that they were neutering him anyway and that he'd be better off without them.

I asked her if I could demand that they accompany us to the battlefield as advisors. She said that she thought they'd find a way to weasel out of it but that it might be worth a try.

The rest of the afternoon passed slowly. The king and the advisors didn't talk about us anymore - but the one on the left still glanced at Rilla and me every now and then. Finally, the king sent a messenger over to us to invite us to a private dinner with him and the advisors.

I had the housefly land on the king's back and crawl up his clothing to hide under his collar. I warned Rilla to keep me steady as I tried to multitask - listening to the king without smacking head-first into any walls.

The king wasn't talking about anything useful. As we passed the kitchens, I noticed one of the advisors seemed to be sending visual cues to one of the cooks. I sent the fly from the king's shoulder to the shoulder of the cook that seemed to be in on whatever was happening.

I listened to the conversation - passing back and forth among the kitchen staff. It was some good shit - if not related to what I needed - but it was distractingly juicy and Rilla had to adjust my course a couple of times to keep me from making a fool of myself.

As I watched the cook, however, she took one bowl - the one with the green rim - off to a quiet corner. She pulled a pouch from her chest wrap and sprinkled the powder that was inside of it into the stew. She used a spoon to stir the powder into the food and then surreptitiously dropped that spoon into the sink on the way back to place the green-rimmed bowl with the others.

Depending on who got the doctored bowl, I would have a better idea about what was happening. Rilla jostled my shoulder and then helped me sit down at the table. She snuggled close and warned me that I was getting looks from the king and his advisors. I tried to do a better job of paying attention but it was all hugely distracting.

The cook who had put the powder in the green-rimmed bowl was the one who carried the tray of food. A different cook had the goblets of wine - or whatever it was. I hadn't been able to watch the drinks. If those were poisoned as well, I was still screwed.

As the cooks brought the food and drinks in, another swept through the room and distributed flatware and cloth napkins.

I pulled my napkin to my lap - which earned strange looks. Apparently, they don't do that here. Rilla snickered. I grabbed my spoon and eagerly waited for the green bowl to be placed in front of me. I tried to keep the shock off of my face as it was placed in front of the king. I caught a brief look between the left-advisor and the cook who'd doctored the food but - if I hadn't already been watching closely - I would have never seen it.

The king picked up his spoon and I frantically ran through my options - trying to figure out what to do. I was certain that he was about to be poisoned - whether fast-acting or slow. I was sure that the powder that had been added to his food wasn't a libido-enhancer to give the king a fun-filled night.

"Ah! King Furgrim!" I exclaimed. "Care to switch bowls?" I asked.

"Why?" asked the advisor I suspected.

"Er ... uh ... green's my favorite color ...?"

"I guess," the king said, "if you insist ..."

"Perhaps he's poisoned his ...," the other advisor whispered.

Now I couldn't decide if this motherfucker was actually in on the whole plan as well - or if his comment was just a random coincidence.

I reached out and traded bowls with the king.

The left advisor frowned and switched them back.

When I switched bowls the second time, I switched his with the king's.

He scowled at me - immediately suspicious.

I held out my hand and said, "Surely the king is important enough that someone should ensure that his food is safe. Why don't you make sure?"

Now all three of them were staring at me. I waited two heartbeats and then switched the green bowl to me. As I did, I tried to see if I could "heal" the green bowl - and send the poison (or whatever) to the advisor's bowl.

I wasn't sure that it had worked but I figured I could heal myself if I messed it up. I immediately took a spoonful of the stew and popped it into my mouth - before anybody could switch bowls again. Every eye was on me. I noticed that the cooks were gone. I chewed the food - not detecting anything nasty - and swallowed.

Either I had successfully healed the stew - or the powder hadn't done anything - or my regeneration was high enough that it healed me even before the poison had time to affect me.

"I guess it was safe," I said to the king. "Wanna switch back?"

"I'm not certain that I'm hungry any longer," he replied.

"More for me," I told him, pulling his bowl my way.

"I think not," he objected, taking it back again.

The monarch glowered at me, picked up his spoon, and took a bite. He glanced around at the others - and then me - and then took a chunk of bread and began to eat.

The left advisor was watching me without trying to make it look like he was watching me. Rilla covered a giggle with a cough so that I'd know that she saw it as well. I continued to eat my stew. I grabbed a chunk of bread as well. Rilla began to eat her food.

Halfway through my bowl, I realized that I probably should have just let the king eat the damned stew and then found a way to heal him afterwards.

By then, the left advisor was the only person at the table who hadn't taken a bite of his food. The rest of us were busy eating. He finally picked up his spoon and took a bite. He squished the food around in his mouth - like he was tasting it - or tasting something in it.

"Aha!" I exclaimed. "I switched the poison to your bowl. You're fucked!"

"What?!" he gasped. "What are you talking about?"

He pushed the bowl away.

I looked at the king.

"Bring in the cook - the one with the tray of food," I told him. "She was in on it too."

"He's mad, sire! He's lost his mind," the man said.

"We'll see, won't we?" I told him. "What's the poison do?"

"There's no poison," he said, glaring at me.

"What was in the little pouch then - what was the white powder?"

"I have no idea what you're going on about?"

"When we passed the kitchens, you nodded to her. She took the bowl with the green rim and added the powder. I switched with the king so that he wouldn't eat it. When you were trying to switch it back, I moved the poison from the green bowl to yours. Mine's not poisoned - yours is. You've been watching my face the whole time. You know I'm fine. How long does the poison take to act? Will you be bleeding from your ass later and they'll find your dried out husk in your bed in the morning? Does it make you vomit your insides out?"

I turned to the king.

"I can probably resist the poison anyway, have the cook bring the rest of the pouch and pour it in my stew. I'll let you know how bad it is."

"Guard!" the king called.

The guard stuck his head in the door.

"Bring the blonde cook in," the king ordered.

"She left," the guard replied. "She said her son had taken ill and hurried away - just after delivering your food."

The king spun to look at the advisor.

"What did you do?!" he accused.

The advisor moved before the guard could react. He pulled a dagger from somewhere and slashed it across the king's neck. Then he slammed the blade into the king's chest at his heart.

The guard was already in motion but - in my haste to help the king - I knocked the guard aside, while getting up. He smashed into the wall and growled at me. I grabbed the advisor by the throat and pulled the knife from the king's chest. I healed the king's neck and his chest.

He gasped, looking down at his body, feeling his throat and his chest through the hole in his shirt.

The second advisor stood, jumped forward, and slammed a blade into my chest - glaring at me.

I smiled at him.

"That was stupid, bud," I told him. "You just earned yourself the injuries that your buddy gave to the king."

He stumbled back and I pointed my left hand at him. Suddenly, a gash tore his neck open - and his chest began bleeding through a hole that hadn't been there a moment ago.

He blanched.

"My king?" the guard asked, his sword in his hand.

"I'm fine," he answered.

The king looked at me.

"How are you still standing?"

"I have a really high tolerance for pain," I said.

"Pain or not, you're bleeding to death ..."

I reached up, pulled out the blade, and laid it on the table - which pleased the guard.

"It'll heal," I said. "What do you want to do with this one? I can kill him quick or slow. We can take pieces off until he talks. I hear the eyes of a traitor taste delicious. Can I see if it's true? I'll let you have the other if it is ..."

The advisor began retching and convulsing. His saliva began foaming from his mouth. I released him and set him down on the floor by the wall.

"What did you do to him?" the king asked.

"I think the poison finally kicked in," I answered.

The advisor's eyes were as big as dinner plates. He looked back and forth between the king and me.

"Want me to heal him?" I asked.

The king glanced over at the guard.

"I'm just curious enough to watch," the guard told the king. "Let's see how this plays out."

"Good enough for me," Furgrim answered.

I sat down next to Rilla and glanced up at the king.

"What's a guy gotta do to get dessert around here?"

He started laughing.

He sat down and glanced at the guard.

"Fine," the guard said. "Can I wait to see how this ends first?"

"Sure," the king answered. "You might as well sit. It looks like it might take a bit."

I was really surprised. I expected the traitorous advisor to ask to be healed. He took it like a man. I would've been impressed if I hadn't been so repulsed.

When the advisor's chest stopped rising and falling, the guard decided that it was over and headed for the kitchens. The dead man was still staring at me - like his death was somehow my fault. Whatever. As far as I was concerned, the man had simply reaped what he had sowed.

"Is it always so exciting around here, or did I just get lucky?"

"I think I'm the lucky one," the king answered.

The guard returned with four small plates. He served Rilla first - then the king - then me. He sat down with the last one. I grinned at him as he took a bite.

"Good shit," he told the king.

"Yeah. We'll need to find the blonde."

"I told the captain. He's looking into it."

"You don't need to take Rilla and me out to the goblins if you need to stay here and deal with this shit," I told the king. "I don't expect any real trouble. I'll leave the goblins for your men while my wife and I deal with the hobs."

"This is Korl's daughter?" the king asked.

"No, Kira is escorting Sven's kid over to visit him. Sent a raven and said he was dying or some shit. Kira and my girls and the baby dragon should be more than enough to deal with Sven if he decides to be stupid again."

"Again?" Furgrim asked.

"He was holding the baby dragon hostage to control the mother," I told him. "Kira and I freed the hatchling and returned it to its mother. Once the baby was safe at our place, I went back with the mother dragon. She was gonna level the place but Kira suggested taking Sveth hostage like Sven had done with her cub. Sveth actually likes it better at our place. He's dating one of the cooks. She rode with them to see Sven."

The king looked at the guard and shook his head.

"Either these two intentionally lied - or they were too ignorant to get the facts straight," he said. "Considering that they were planning to hang me out to ... well shit ... they just tried to kill me."

It was funny - seeing the lightbulb finally come on in his head.

"There's a slight chance that the second one was defending you - but that's not the read I got on the situation," I told the monarch.

"No, I agree with you. Seeing him with the wounds the other gave me ... How do you do that?"

"Weird gift from the All-Father," I told him.

He just nodded, obviously still rolling it around in his brain.