Me and my Ms

(This version of the story is a rewrite to remove spelling, grammar, and word choice errors in my original submission.)

I have been thinking of writing this for a long time. This experience changed the course of my life, so I want to document it. It was the beginning of my junior year in college, and I was taking my first upper-level biology course. It required a significant writing assignment that we would work on throughout the entire semester. It was intended to be a research proposal, which would require a substantial amount of reading in the scientific literature to understand the project and identify areas that needed further study. The first step was to visit the library and locate the Research Librarian's desk to schedule a time to learn how to use the research materials. This was around 1992, and it was not that simple to find the necessary articles. The Research Librarians were there to teach you how to find the articles and to provide any help you may need.

I found the desk only to discover that it was huge. There must have been 10 or 15 people working there. I approached the desk and was overwhelmed by the numerous signs on how to make various requests. I was completely intimidated and just stood there, lost in all the signs. Suddenly, I noticed a woman looking at me from behind the desk. She asked if she could help me. I was still flustered and stumbled through a sentence that conveyed to her that I was taking a class and needed to learn how to gather scientific articles. She said, "Oh, I see. So, you need the introduction tour of the research stacks and the catalogs." Yes, I said, and was glad she understood what I needed. "When," she said. This flustered me again. I did not know how to answer, but I said, "Anytime?" She immediately said, "How about now?" My mind wanted to say no, but she already started gathering things for me. I was hoping for someone who did not make me feel so flustered. I was hoping for someone friendlier and not so intimidating.

She started giving me papers with instructions on them. And request forms of so many types. I was not following everything. She then had me follow her around the library. She showed me where the various catalogs are and explained their purpose. She was going too fast, and I couldn't catch it all. Finally, I stopped her. I was a bit abrupt, and I think she saw my frustration. "I can't understand everything so fast". She took a big breath and slowed down. She explained that this was just an introductory tour and that I couldn't possibly grasp it all. To just follow her and absorb what I can.

She was intimidating when she first started, abrupt, and to the point. Now that she had slowed down, she seemed much friendlier, and she tried to make me feel more comfortable. She explained that we should make another appointment for tomorrow to start gathering background material for my research. I told her that I did not need to do that yet. Her demeanor changed, and she gave me a look that made me feel like a spoiled child. "Just because you don't have to, doesn't mean that it would not be good for you". "When is your last class tomorrow?". I said it was over at three, and she said, "Well then, be here by 3:30". I said, "Yes, ma'am". I suddenly felt silly. Ma'am? What was I thinking? She was just so assertive that I just blurted it out.

She smiled and said, "Good!"

I left feeling like I was shanghaied. I had no control from the time I arrived till the time I left. The whole experience completely flustered me. I felt like I needed to arrive tomorrow better prepared. I spent a few hours reviewing the assignment and outlined my initial ideas. I wanted to feel more in control and less like an idiot the next day.

I arrived early and let her know I was there. She seemed busy with someone else. So, I set myself up at a table nearby. When she was done, she had me go through what I needed. She then had me take out the papers she had given me the last time. Thank God, I had organized them and was able to find the one she wanted. She pointed out that it was a checklist on how to use one of the catalogs. She walked me through it step by step, having me do most of the work. I understood most of it, although she stopped me a few times to point out my mistakes rather harshly. However, she was very friendly otherwise and praised me, even patting me on the arm when I was able to figure out the following steps on my own.

Her name was Ms. Wren. She was approximately 5 feet 9 inches tall and possibly a bit overweight. She dressed rather conservatively. Long skirts, high heels, and button-up blouses. She was a fair bit older than me, maybe in her mid-forties. I decided I liked working with her. She gave me her full attention and made sure I was confident with what I learned. This training was going well. She scheduled me for appointments every day that week. It was amazing what I learned. I felt like she was giving me the secret keys to all the knowledge. As I became more proficient, she would assign me tasks to figure out on my own. It was fun, and she was great at praising my accomplishments. When I got it wrong, she would give me a few pointers and then have me figure out my mistakes on my own. She would not even talk to me till I got it figured out.

At the end of the week, I had picked up everything I needed to know and didn't require any further training. However, I had come to like this part of the library, with its tables and large windows. I spent most of my time studying in that part of the library. She would always stop by and say hi. We would chat and talk about what I was working on. I loved the way she made me feel like a friend. She was also very serious about my completing my work. "We can't talk anymore till you get that lab report done". Or "I am ignoring you till that assignment is done". She was serious and wanted proof before we could go back to, as she put it, goofing off.

I was in the library almost every day. We even ate lunch together on Mondays if she was free. She wanted to know about my goals and my plans. She told me about the trips she had been on. Her ex-husband and she traveled a lot, and she described the places she had been. She told me about her divorce and how it was mostly her fault. She never truly loved him but got married because it was what she was expected to do. This topic seemed to make her uncomfortable, and she tried to drop it, but I did not take enough notice and asked her more questions about how she felt. I could tell I asked too many questions. She almost looked scared. She eventually told me that she had an affair with a friend of hers, another woman.

I was stunned at first. I awkwardly tried to say that it happens sometimes. I could tell she was feeling concerned. I then tried to reassure her that I did not care that she was a lesbian. No big deal, I knew a lesbian in high school. I was not very convincing, I think. In my mind, I realized that she was giving me all this help and being friendly with me because she liked me. She liked me! That gave me a thrill, but it also made me self-conscious. Sadly, that's all I could think about, and I think I failed to be as supportive as I should. Eventually, she had to return to work, and I simply packed up and left.

I knew I liked girls as early as middle school. I had a crush on several girls from 8th grade through high school. I never did anything about it. I always knew that it was weird and that my parents would think me sick if I ever touched a girl. My dad would often have negative things to say about those "fags".

I dated in high school and even kissed and had a bit of fun. It was exciting but not very satisfying. I dated a guy my freshman year. He was nice and I liked him. We had fun together, but he always wanted to "fool around". We did just about everything but actual penetrative sex. He always got off. I never did. It ended because he always wanted sex. In the end, he was just a jerk.

Realizing that Ms. Wren liked me made me see that I had a crush on her, too. After I left her, it was all I could think about. It made me nervous, and it made me horny. I suddenly could look at her as a woman and not just as a teacher. She was bigger than me. I am about 5'5" and maybe 125 lbs. Skinny with small breasts and not much of a figure. She was tall, a bit heavier, and had a curvy, soft body. Her breasts were large and compared to mine; she had a woman's hips and ass. I was thinking about how soft she was. Not that I had ever touched her, but my imagination was running wild. I wanted her to hold me tight and kiss me.

I went to the library the next day, and she was there but very busy. So, I just found a table and got to work on some classwork. I kept looking for her while I was working. She later stopped by and asked how I was doing. I was nervous. So much more than I thought I would. I explained that I was fine. She told me how busy she was. I could feel that things were awkward, and I hated it. She was going to leave when I just blurted out that I would be back tomorrow. I think she understood that I was ok with her. I wanted to say more, but it was a library. It would have to wait.

The next day, I came in around noon. She was not around. I even asked to see if she was around, but nobody had seen her for a while. So, I decided to grab a table and get some work done. Except that all the tables were full of people. I ended up having to use a table on an upper floor. Around five, I found myself missing her. So, I gathered up my books and went down to her desk.

She was busy with other people. But I managed to get her attention and waved to her. She signaled back that I should wait a moment. So, I waited till she freed herself. She asked me if I was okay and why I wasn't around. I explained that the tables were all full and I had to find someplace else to study. I also told her that I was more than ok. I tried to say it, so she knew that I was ok with her being a lesbian and that it was ok that she liked me. I felt like a little girl as I did so. I even blushed and embarrassingly giggled. She looked happy, but also told me she had to go. "You will be back tomorrow after your three o'clock class." She said it, not as a question, but more like a statement of fact. No, I think more like a command. I said in a low voice, "Yes, Ms. Wren".

I did show up the next day. She saw me and motioned me over and said, "We have extra graduate carrels, and you are going to sign up for one, and I did. Ms. Wren led me to the back of the research area, where a line of small doors was located. She opened mine and gave me the key. Graduate carrels were intended for graduate students teaching classes. It became their temporary office. The unused ones could be requested for a study space. It was a tiny room. Essentially, a bench is attached to the wall facing a desk located on the opposite side of the room. The room was maybe 3 feet by four feet, just enough for two people to sit side by side at a table. It was perfect. It was a fantastic place to study, and I could leave my books here rather than dragging them with me all the time.

I was thrilled to have my own space, and she generously gave it to me. I stood there speechless, and she looked at me strangely. I knew she was watching me, which made it difficult to think. I tried to say thank you, but as I did, emotions rose, and my voice cracked. She reached out and grabbed my arms with both of hers. She was looking at me intently. She asked what was wrong, and I tried to turn away so I could gain control of myself, but her hands held me tight and still. "What do you want?" She said, punctuating each word with a shake of my body. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to kiss her and sink into her arms. I was scared and so excited. I pushed forward to press my lips to hers. But she stopped me. Holding me still once again.

All last night, all I could think about was kissing her. I feel her body against mine. As soon as I went to bed, my hands could not stop touching the wetness between my legs. I came so hard while rubbing my clit. My pussy, my thighs, and even my ass were covered in the wetness I produced. But it was not enough to allow me to sleep peacefully.

She told me to sit down, and she shoved me into the little room. I sat on the bench and moved over to make space for her. She sat next to me and pulled the door closed. She looked at me intently and said, "What do you want, little one?" I looked down, speechless. She grabbed my face and forced me to look at her. She was not gentle, and her expression made it clear she was serious. I tried to sound confident, but my voice was too filled with emotion, and it cracked and wavered as I said, "kiss you." I was instantly embarrassed about my lack of control, but she pulled my face towards hers, and she so gently pressed her lips to mine. I froze, feeling everything at once. Her lips were slippery against mine, her hand so firm on my face. She smelled of both perfume and some other essence that was just her. Her lips parted, and I matched her movement as she ran her tongue over my lips. She pushed me back, and I realized that I had not been breathing. I drew in a big breath of air. I was so overcome with feelings that I was starting to well up with tears. She slid her hands down my face to my neck. She did not give up any control as she leaned over. And quietly said, "Now what do you want?".

My response was a quick "more".

She smiled and pulled me to her again, and we both joined with our mouths open for each other. We kissed, exploring each other's mouths for a while, and I moved my hands around her back, gripping her. As she broke the kiss, she pulled me hard against her chest. Holding me like a child against her breasts. She held me tight, right where I wanted to be. I could hear her breathing, trying to catch her breath, and realizing that I, too, was out of breath. I wanted more, but she held me tight.

I started to press myself against her and was kissing her breasts through her top, and I could feel the lace of her bra with my lips. God, they were so soft. I kissed them all around till I found the texture of her nipple, and I pressed my lips against it hard. She literally gasped and released the force holding me, and I moved up and kissed her hard, trying to take control. Wanting more and more, the lust, building in me so fast. She again took hold of me and pushed me back, making me stop.

At first, I was confused, but then I realized where we were and how awkward it is to hug and kiss on a bench with a table in the way. I could see her regain control of herself. "We should think about how to proceed from here". She got up and started to leave. I was a bit stunned. "Ms.?" I said, not knowing what to say. She leaned over and kissed me quickly and said, "Friday night. Can you be free all weekend"? I, of course, said yes. She put up her hand to stop me. "Only if you have all your work done. I am serious, don't let your schoolwork suffer". I assured her that I would work hard today and tomorrow so that I would be free for the weekend. "Ok, I will see you Friday," and she stepped out, leaving me in my new workspace.

I was elated and amazed. I was also very sexually excited. I could feel the swelling of my pussy and the wetness there. I wanted to be with her more than anything. Was I in love with her? It was too early to say. I am far too horny to think straight. But I will see her for the weekend, and I know it's going to be amazing.

I worked hard the rest of the week. I saw her every day, but she would not let me waste time chatting with her. I had to push myself quite a bit to get everything done by Friday night. She had decided that we would have dinner at her place and that I could stay the weekend if I wanted. God! I wanted. By Friday, I was such a horny mess. Every time I closed my eyes, my mind went to what would happen on Friday night. I knew we would have sex, but my mind was filled with so many fantasies of how it would go. It did not help that I decided not to cum till Friday. I was also very nervous. I had never been with a woman before. I was not sure what it was going to be like. Was I going to do it right? Should she think me a freak or something? As you might guess, I didn't sleep all that well.

On Friday, she had me come to the library and work in my new space till she came to get me to go to her home. Work? I could not work. I was just too excited and worked up. All I could do was let my mind wander. I concentrated on how my body felt. I was hot. I could feel my pussy swollen and wet. My breasts ached to hug something. To hug her and to bury my face in her breasts again. I needed to taste her lips and feel her tongue on mine. I was going to drive myself crazy if I didn't do something.

Luckily, I did not end up waiting long. She knocked gently on my door, and I let her in. She looked at me and asked if I was ok. I think I blushed a little and tried to shrug it off as just being too hot. She ushered me out of the cubicle, and I was at a loss for words. Suddenly, I was shy. I could not find words. But she just led me out of the building to her car. God, I was nervous.

We got in her car, and she asked about my day and whether I had completed all my work. I assured her I had. I told her how much work it was and that I was a little tired. I needed a break. As she drove, I was quiet. I did not know what to say. She reached over and took my hand. Squeezed it and looked at me briefly, and she had the best smile I had ever seen. Confident and joyful is the only way I can describe it. She then placed my hand on her thigh and put hers back on the wheel. Her skirt was soft and relatively thin. I could feel the warmth of her leg through the material. I just kept it there. I was afraid to move it, so I just enjoyed the feel of her. At the next stoplight, she retook my hand and squeezed it tight to her breast. She was looking at me. A look that made me feel happy for some reason. I don't know what that look was precisely, but it made me feel warm and safe. Maybe it's pride, or just happiness. Either way, I always wanted her to look at me that way.

As the light turned green, she let go of my hand. I put it back in my lap. She reached over without looking at me and placed my hand on her thigh again. This time, she moved it up and down her thigh and then let go. God, she felt good, and I tentatively kept up stroking her thigh. She seemed to like that, so I kept it up and leaned over so I could reach further down her leg. I was sliding my hand down to her knee and all the way up to the top of her thigh. I reached over more so I could touch her inner thigh. I was breathless and shaking slightly due to the intensity of the feeling. I wondered if she was as wet as I was and imagined what it would be like to touch her wet pussy.

At stoplights, she would hold my hand and kiss it, even hold it to her breast in a sort of hug. When it turned green, she would let go, and I would go back to rubbing her thigh. I wanted more. I reached even lower and tried to raise the hem of her skirt, but she put her hand on mine to stop me. God, I needed to feel her skin.

Thank God it was a reasonably short drive to her place. I was so overtaken by lust. She pulled into her driveway and stopped the car. She turned to me and reached for me, and I just dove into her arms. Our mouths met and our tongues touched. I just melted into her. She pulled me to her hard, squeezing me. I held on to her like I would never let go.

After a while of this, she broke the moment. "Why don't we go inside and be more comfortable?". We both got out, and I practically ran over to her, forgetting my bag. Of course, she realized this and sent me to get it. I felt like a fool, but she smiled and laughed, and it was ok. I followed her into the house. I just dropped my bag as soon as the door closed, and I hugged her. It was a bit awkward since she had not put down her purse or keys, but I wanted to thank her. I just felt so grateful to be there. She hugged me back and leaned down to my ear, saying it was okay. We have time, and maybe we should eat.