Mum

TRIGGER WARNING: Depressive and suicidal thoughts

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I've been thinking... If I decided to sell my Little Girl, how much would I stand to make, do you think? I could sell you as a free-use slave girl, or maybe as a house decoration... I mean, you really are very decorative. Send me a nude tomorrow, and put a price tag on yourself. Yes, an actual price tag. Think about what you're worth.

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Professor Ó Ceallaigh's fourth meeting with Ada Jones

Professor Ó Ceallaigh's fourth meeting with Ada Jones

Ada had been crying for a long time; long enough to be completely cried out. Now they just sat together in silence, holding hands, their fingers interlocking. Ada was resting her head on the professor's shoulder.

"I'm so glad you took my offer to talk," Siobhan said.

Ada seemed to think about something for a while. "Yeah, I really think I need this. I just realised, I can't really talk to anyone else. I mean... In the family, we can't really talk about things. Everything is so painful, and I think we're all afraid of hurting each other."

Siobhan was pleasantly surprised at how relaxed Ada's voice had become, even though the subject of conversation was so grief-laden. Her voice had been so stiff and laboured the first time they had talked, when Ada had come to her office to beg for an extension on an essay deadline, and had ended up telling the tragic story of her mother's losing battle with cancer.

"I can see how hard it is for them... And I don't want to add to that by... By talking about how I hurt. But they probably see me the same way I see them, and they don't want to burden me... So we all end up carrying our own burdens, in silence."

Siobhan didn't know what to say. She squeezed Ada's hand.

"What I mean is... Just thank you.... I can't believe how much better you've made me feel, and it's strange... I'm unloading all of this really sad stuff on you, but it seems like you can take all of it in stride. It makes me feel like there isn't anything that I can't say to you."

Siobhan smiled. "You do make me sad sometimes, Ada. No, not sometimes, every time we speak you make me sad. But I think sadness can be a healthy thing. I actually think it has been very good for me to listen to you. It has been a chance for me to exercise my empathy, which, honestly, I think I've allowed that part of my brain to become much too dormant. I feel like I've become a massive bitch, and listening to you has reminded me that I don't have to be like that all of the time. There are other sides to me, too. Better versions of Shiv."

"Versions of what? Of a shiv?"

"Shiv, yes. It's kind of a nickname I have for myself..."

"But a shiv is a knife! That's a totally shitty nickname! It's exactly what you would call someone who is a massive bitch all of the time. You really need a better nickname, lady!"

They laughed together.

"What do you think my nickname should be, then?"

"Literally any other name or word that doesn't mean 'prison murder tool'! How about Kelly, from your last name? Or maybe... There was that actress Grace Kelly. We could call you Grace!"

"I'm not sure Grace fits me that well, but you're right that it at least doesn't mean murder tool."

Siobhan wanted to laugh it off, but Ada was becoming serious again. "No, come to think of it, Grace actually fits you really well." Her voice was soft. "For the way I've come to know you, it's accurate."

Siobhan was taken aback. "That's incredibly sweet of you to say."

"I don't think you're a bitch at all."

"Come on, you've seen how I teach a class. You've seen the grades I give you."

"I only think you've been fair."

Something extremely rare happened: Siobhan was unable to look a student in the eyes.This girl doesn't know what I think of her. What I've been planning to do to her.

If she knew what I was, she would know what to call me. And it isn't fucking Grace.

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Chapter 3

Chapter 3

At the sight of her sister, chained naked to their mum's bed, Lily began to feel very tired again. She felt suddenly unable to carry the weight of her own body, and began to crawl to the center of the bed to lie down.

"What's going on, sis?" Ada scurried up next to her sister, causing the steel chain to rattle and clank against the iron bedframe. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, sure. I think I just need a nap."

Siobhan sprang into action. "Right, we need to keep this girl active. You won't be having a nap Lily, what you need is some exercise, get some blood flowing to your brain." She was hurrying around the room, picking up her clothes from the floor and putting them on. "We're going to get you dressed, and then I am taking you for a walk. Ada, don't let your sister fall asleep, I'll be back in a jiffy!" And she hurried out of the bedroom.

A short minute later, the girls could hear the sound of the woman seemingly going through Lily's wardrobe in the other room.

"Really, Ada, I think I'm good now. I don't even feel sad, just tired. You don't have to look so worried."

"But Iamworried. I am afraid that you're even worse than before."

Lily didn't feel she had anything to say to that. She just didn't care about anything right now. It can't be so bad to just not care about anything, right?

Siobhan came back into the bedroom carrying a pile of something, it was probably clothes. Lily didn't look; she was too busy not caring about anything. She had discovered a small crack in the ceiling above her.Why did I never notice that before?

"Most of your clothes is ragged, baby girl. I guess you haven't done much clothes shopping the past few years. That's understandable, of course."

Lily felt her left leg being lifted up in the air, then her foot was being enveloped in something soft. She kept just staring up at the ceiling. Couldn't really think of a reason to do anything else.

The feeling of softness started to creep up past her ankle; Siobhan was rolling some pantyhose up her leg. There really was something calming about the steady assertiveness of this older woman.She took control, the moment she stepped in the door.

In a sort of distant way, Lily was actually enjoying the feeling of the woman's hands slowly moving up her leg. Past the knee, all the way up to mid-thigh, smoothing the pantyhose as she went along.

The woman put Lily's leg gently back on the bed, then lifted the other one. The smooth sensation enveloped her toes and foot, then started to creep up her calf. The woman was taking her time, massaging the muscle a little bit.

These must be my black stay-up pantyhose. Wonder where she found them.

Once more, Siobhan's hands came up to Lily's mid-thigh, where the pantyhose ended, and for a moment it seemed like she was going to continue, massaging and caressing even higher up the thigh... But then, suddenly, she let go. Lily gave a little squeak of suprise as her leg thumped back on the bed.

The two sisters were side by side on the double bed. Ada was in chains and completely naked, Lily was only wearing the pair of pantyhose that Siobhan had put on her.I wonder if we look good together.

No, we probably don't. Next to her, I look like a kid.

"Ada, help me with the panties." Lily could feel both of her legs being lifted now, and a pair of tight-feeling panties were being pulled up her legs. The fabric was quickly pulled to the top of her thighs, and her legs dropped on to the bed again, bouncing a little before they came to rest.

"You'll have to lift your tush, baby." As Lily complied, Siobhan tugged the panties into place. They wereverysnug; Lily could feel the fabric crawling up between her labia a little bit, and there was definitely a lot of un-covered asscrack in the back.

"Hmm, not exactly a perfect fit..." Siobhan's hands ran across the waistband elastic, tugging on it here and there. This did not help to make the panties fit better, it only made them crawl further up Lily's cleft. "Oh my, it seems you've outgrown these by a margin. Don't think your little femme shrubbery was supposed to spill out over the top." Siobhan put her fingers through Lily's pubic hair, playing with it and sniggering. "It'll have to do for now. The skirt will cover it anyway."

"I don't wear skirts." Lily hadn't really meant to say anything, the words just came out of her.

"Like I said, most of your clothes are too ragged to wear in public, so this old school uniform was the least worn-out option I could find."

"But, Mistress... She dropped out of private school when she was 15."

"Ah, that explains why this outfit was stacked way in the back of the bottom drawer. Oh well, I think it still fits."

Siobhan finished putting the skirt on Lily. "Doesn't your sister look cute like this?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Good. Now, up you come." Siobhan leaned in and grabbed both of Lily's hands, then pulled her up to sit on the edge of the bed.

It was a bit of a struggle putting on the old light blue dress shirt; Lily's movements were sluggish and it took a while to get her arms through the sleeves. Then it turned out half the buttons were missing, so instead of buttoning the shirt, Siobhan just tied it off right under Lily's breasts, leaving the girl's midriff bare.

"I found this, too. We might as well complete the look." The woman produced a dark blue school tie with thin yellow diagonal stripes. She put the tie around Lily's neck, not around the shirt collar but directly on the skin, and tied it in a large, loose knot, wrapping the wide part of the tie around the knot several times.

"This is how we used to do it back in my day, when we wanted to look rebellious." The older woman chuckled at the memory. She finished the knot with a careful pull, smoothing the tie against Lily's skin. "There." The result was a short, broad tie that only came down to the girl's cleavage, the tip of it resting between her small breasts. Combined with the tied-off shirt (which Siobhan was now adjusting to make sure it showed the maximum amount of skin), it was definitely not a look Lily's old school would approve of.Even if they hadn't kicked me out for being dumb.

"What a pretty little girl. Now, go put on your shoes and coat. I have to get your sister ready for the day."

Lily obeyed without protest, went into the hall. This whole situation felt very wrong, but it was easiest to just go along with it.

From the hallway, where she was now struggling to tie her shoelaces(fingers odd, not listening to me), she could still see in through the open door to her mum's old bedroom.

On the bed, Siobhan was inserting several fingers into Ada's pussy. The fingers were sliding in with practically no resistance, and Ada was moaning already. Siobhan was finger-fucking Lily's sister with one hand, using the other to fondle her left breast, twisting the nipple...

And then, the sexual assault stopped as suddenly as it had begun. When Ada groaned in frustration, her mistress immediately gave her a hard slap on the inner thigh, making her squeal in pain.

"Sorry, Mistress!"

"Why did I slap you?"

"I was ungrateful, Mistress!"

"Yes, you were. Ungrateful for what?"

"I should be thankful for any pleasure you allow me to have, Mistress. I don't deserve it."

Siobhan slapped Ada's thigh again. "That is correct. You will receive further punishment later. But right now I need to take care of Lily, so we'll have to finish up quickly." Siobhan had produced a key from somewhere, and was unlocking the two small padlocks that attached the long steel chain to Ada's ankle bracelets. They both opened with satisfying metallic clicks.

"Now, get up."

Ada got up from the bed, and Siobhan handed her something small. Ada bent over (making sure to present her big, round ass to her mistress), and then proceeded to put on a very diminutive thong. It wasn't much more than a pair of strings, attached to a short, narrow piece of material that only just covered her genitals and the thin, carefully trimmed landing strip above.

Ada sat back down on the bed, letting her mistress re-attach a thin steel chain to her ankle bracelets.Manacles, right? I think those things on her ankles are called manacles.

But Siobhan wasn't using the same chain as before. This one was shorter, and it wasn't attached to the bed. Lily's heart skipped a beat when she realised what this meant.She's supposed to walk around the house in chains. Like she's... Like she's a slave.

Siobhan went to get something from her suitcase. "We both forgot about this yesterday," she said. "Because we were both upset about your sister. Nevertheless the rules do apply, and you will be punished later for not reminding me."

Lily saw Ada close her eyes in anticipation; the shiny steel collar clicked shut around her neck.

She loves it. She actually wants to be treated this way.

What are we going to do?

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It was a chilly spring morning, and there was a bracing wind dancing around Lily, playing with her skirt. She had to admit that it was nice to be outside, and the fresh air did seem to clear some of the fog from her mind. However, her arms and legs still felt somewhat sluggish, and her thoughts seemed to move slowly somehow, like she was thinking in slow motion.

I can't believe I blacked out like that. For twelve hours. Could this have happened before? I feel so strange.

Siobhan was a fast walker, and Lily had a hard time keeping up with her. The older woman kept turning around and waving impatiently at her to catch up.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I can walk faster than this!"

Siobhan went back to Lily and grabbed her hand. "Of course you can. You don't realise how slowly you are walking." She started pulling Lily forward. "Your depressed brain is telling your body that you're tired, but your body isn't actually tired."

Lily was stumbling, half running now to keep up with the woman who was dragging her along the suburban road.

"It's a vicious cycle. Physical inactivity will make you more depressed, and then you will feel even more tired. I'm sure you've been told all of this before, you just can't remember, because... Well, because you're depressed."

Lily's sneaker got caught on a crack in the road, and she pitched forward. For a moment, she thought she was going to faceplant into the pavement, and her hand was pulled from Siobhan's grasp. Siobhan turned around to catch her.

"DONT! FUCKING! TOUCH ME!" Lily was surprised to hear herself screaming at the woman. "YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING DOCTOR! YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING PSYCHIATRIST! AND YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING MUM, SO DON'T GRAB MY FUCKING HAND!"

Then, something strange happened. At first, she didn't understand what it was.

It took a few seconds for Lily to realise that the woman had just hit her in the face. Full force, with an open palm on Lily's left cheek, much too hard to be called a slap. Her left ear was ringing. Then it happened again, but coming from the other side. Lily was dumbfounded; her head spinning.

"Good. It's good that you stand up for yourself. I think that's a sign that you're getting better." Siobhan grabbed Lily's hand, forced her to start walking again.

"Of course you're right; I'm not a psychiatrist. And if you keep feeling as bad as you did last night and this morning, we will get you some professional help. But for now, I hope you can trust me that I am simply doing my best, because I want the best for you. Will you please let me try to help you?"

She didn't wait for Lily to answer. "I'm very sorry that I had to hit you again. I was worried that you were getting hysterical, and I couldn't think of another way to shake you out of it. Plus, getting slapped releases adrenaline I think, and that should be good for you. Come on, let's keep up the pace. Exercise is a natural antidepressant, you know."

Siobhan kept talking and talking as they were walking down this quiet suburban street. Lily found it a little easier to keep up with Siobhan now, and she managed to walk side by side with the woman.

She had a hard time gathering her thoughts. She felt like a stupid little girl, and she felt angry. There had to have been a good reason for her to be this angry, but she couldn't figure out what it was. She felt stupid for not knowing why she was feeling like this, and feeling stupid made her even angrier at herself.

"Siobhan," Lily said finally, trying to find a way out of the confusion in her head. "Can't you just tell me. Are you trying to get me out of the way or something? I mean, push me away... I don't know... So you can have my sister to yourself?" Even as she was saying this, she could hear that it didn't really make sense. She felt very weak and confused.

The woman laughed out loud. "I don't need to get you out of the way, sweetie. You've already seen how obedient Ada is to me. She would obey practically any command I give her." She smiled happily at the thought. "And that's not only because she is naturally submissive and needs someone to dominate her; it's more than that. Lily, your sister is deeply in love with me."

She could feel her heart break a little.

Why am I such a stupid kid. Dumb kid throwing a tantrum. Because she can't have what she wants.

The one thing she wants.

"And Lily, I don't want to get rid of you; on the contrary, I want to get to know you better. That's part of why I wanted to come visit you girls, don't you see? If things really work out between your sister and I, then sometime in the future... We could all be a family."

Nope, can't think about that right now. That's too wild.

They walked in silence. It had become easier to keep up. Lily could feel her anger slowly disappearing, becoming completely subsumed in confusion and doubt.

Your sister has a real partner. A grown woman, and you're just a little girl. Ada belongs to her now. There's nothing you can do.

But...

"But... Ada told you that we had been kissing, and that we had..."

What are you doing! Don't tell her! She doesn't know what happened... Not exactly... Wait, what did happen? It didn't turn out the way I wanted...

"Lily, listen to me. I have quite a bit more lived experience than you, and believe me when I tell you, there is no way you could get between me and your sister. Even if the things I imagine in my head are real, and I feel like youalmosttold me that they are, none of that changes how much your sister needs me.

"But I want her to be happy, and that means I want her to have a close relationship with her sister. I know that she needs you, as much as you need her. And if you guys want to fuck, if you want to be little incestuous sluts together, then I have no reason to stop you. In fact, I would love that for both of you.

"Now, would you look at that; you blush exactly the same way your sister does. Those perfectly round pink spots under your cheekbones. It makes you quite pretty."

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It was a long walk to the boulangerie that Siobhan had insisted they go to ("I've heard great things, but never had a chance to try it myself"). Must have been almost two miles, and Lily had to admit to herself that she actually felt better after the walk. Her thoughts were a little clearer.

They had been walking hand in hand the whole way, Siobhan in her all-black outfit from yesterday, plus a cool, light brown leather jacket, Lily in her school girl outfit and old down jacket. To an outsider, they probably looked like a mother and her little girl, maybe walking to school together. When she realised this, Lily started to blush furiously again, which caused Siobhan to resume her cooing over how pretty she looked. This made Lily feel both flattered and humiliated, which just added further to the hurricane of confusing emotions swirling inside her.