Pairs of Pumpkins

Pairs of Pumpkins 13: Pridemoon's Pride and the Problematic Prickvixens

Part 1 of 2

by Jess Faulks

Chapter 1

"And there it is, my dear: Brummel."

After a hike of several days through rain and snow, up and down a mountain pass, through a pine forest and out into a sweeping valley of open fields, the promised city emerged through the misty distance.

Portia Pridemoon canted her head aside and squinted. "I think that's Brummel? I remember it being much smaller than this. The wall and those towers are new."

Her and her daughter, Anastasia were dirty, damp, and hungry after coming so far and the air was still heavy with moisture, somewhere between rain and a mist. Their simple, ill-fitting robes clung to polar fur mercifully suited for such climates while the mud of the highway caked their shoes.

"How long ago were you here?"

"I was twenty-seven."

Ana pursed her lips and glanced sideways at her. "Mother, that was..."

"I know how long ago it was!" she snapped. "It seems they built up their defenses after the slavers. And the town itself was half this size! I guess business was good since then."

"Can we get down there? Out of this rain?"

"Of course! I can't wait to see the statue."

"I know, Mother. And to see how much smaller they made your breasts." Ana started walking, and Portia chuckled before taking a few quick steps to catch up.

"I've been talking about this a lot, haven't I?"

She didn't speak for a moment, long enough for her mother to look back at her. "It's not that."

"What then?"

"You've romanticized this place as a solution, but it's a bigger problem."

Portia sighed. "I know Brummel isn't going to solve everything but it will help to have more options and space."

"It will. But distributing our family where they fit, instead of keeping them together isn't much of a family."

"I know, I know. We've talked about this before. I've got a lot to figure out in the long term, but this will be one more option in the meantime. They love me in Brummel!"

Chapter 2

"One more step forward and we'll perforate you," the guard shouted from atop the city's perimeter wall. On the stone rampart over massive double doors, some twenty crossbowmen aimed at them.

Portia and Anastasia stood with their hands raised, less than a hundred yards from the gate to Brummel City. Ana glared at her mother.

"If you flee, we will also shoot." The same voice continued.

"What do you want us to do then?!" Portia yelled back.

"You're both under arrest! Drop any weapons and wait to be detained."

She turned around in a slow circle and after a moment's realization, her daughter followed suit. "As you can see, no weapons. What are we under arrest for?"

"Banditry, robbery, lascivious behavior. You two have been terrorizing this city for far too long!"

"Banditry and robbery?"

"There's a statue of her in your town square!" Ana shouted so the guards on the tower might hear. Portia wasn't sure she'd ever heard her do that. "And you won't let us in?!"

Silence was the only answer for a moment.

"Turn yourselves to stand in profile."

They exchanged looks before shrugging and complying.

"What are you hiding beneath those robes?"

"We're soaking wet. I think you can see just fine."

"Some welcome," Ana said..

"What are your names?"

"Portia Pridemoon. This is my daughter, Anastasia. I saved many people in this town some years ago from slavers."

Ana exhaled through her teeth. "If we want to get through them, they can't stop us," she muttered.

"That won't do any good," Portia replied through a clenched jaw, trying not to move her mouth. "This is just a misunderstanding and fighting won't accomplish anything. We'll figure it out."

Another long silence followed before the massive doors lurched open, each one on a wheeled track and pushed by three, brutish men. A different voice shouted out from the wall: "Approach the gate! Hands visible."

Portia shook her head and rolled her eyes. They began walking, their arms outstretched to their sides.

Nearing the two-story high wall, the open gate was a window to a part of town unfamiliar and freshly built. Most of the structures were stone slab with wooden trim, standing three or four stories tall and painted in bright colors, where the old Brummel had been quite short and drab.

Between it and them was a group of armored guards carrying swords and spears past the wall. At least thirty of them stood at attention, different species and a third of them female, all in a two person-deep U formation blocking the road into town. The average age of them was close to Anastasia's, with only a handful of more mature faces. A wave rustled through them as they watched her approach. Perhaps they recognized her now?

Behind them, more guards were marching to reinforce.

From the front line, one of the older ones stepped forward, a marten with greying brown fur and insignia of rank.

He was squinting and scowling, but as they were close enough to see the whites of his eyes, his entire demeanor changed. "Portia!? It is you!"

"That's what I said," she replied flatly.

He started towards her with a broad and familiar smile while she searched her memory for any martens from her brief time here. Had she met him in passing? Slept with him?

"Guards, stand down! This is the hero of Brummel, Portia Pridemoon!"

The soldiers murmured behind him as their postures relaxed. Some of the older ones seemed to recognize her and the younger ones tried to contain their excitement.

"Welcome back to Brummel. Finally!"

"A fine welcome indeed."

Reaching her, he struggled to decide between a hug or a handshake but settled on a bold extension of his hand. She twisted sideways to shake it. "I'm Sergeant Rolf Halsted. I was but a teenager when you were last here but one of the first waves of recruits when the city stepped up its defenses."

"I did not know you had a daughter." He turned to Anastasia, who was doing a worse job of hiding her annoyance than her mother.

With a polite nod, his attention returned to Portia's with some difficulty. "She is also an adventurer? Why are you both dressed like that?"

"I lost all my gear. Anastasia here is a bit more of a minimalist."

"Well, we're going to get you new gear! Come, come!"

Reaching out for her shoulder, he paused and pulled back his hand. "Please, the guard will be so honored to meet you."

"The ones who were about to perforate us?" Ana raised a brow.

Sergeant Halsted half-chuckled as he led them in through the open gate. "My apologies. Your mother is a celebrity here in Brummel."

"I've heard."

"It was a misunderstanding, dear," Portia nudged her as they walked. "But I'd also like to know how that could happen. Mistaken identity isn't the kind of thing that happens to me."

"I can explain everything," the marten replied. "But you have many fans among the city watch. They'd be so honored to meet you."

Ana stood back with her arms folded over her chest, beside Rolf as her mother shook the hands of the entire line of guards, now forty in total. One young wolf woman couldn't resist a hug and got a scalding from their Sergeant. A few down from her was a fluffy-furred ram who couldn't be older than twenty.

"Miss Pridemoon, what a delight to see you again! I'm sure you don't remember me, but I was one of the children you saved!"

Finally releasing her tense posture, she leaned in to embrace him, pulling his face into her bust while others watched with jealous eyes. "It was my pleasure." By the end of the line, she was smiling and friendly, joking with the guards.

Portia watched Ana, her blank expression almost hiding the simmering behind her eyes. Guards stole gawks and glances at her appearance but she was otherwise ignored. Portia chuckled and walked back to her.

"The daughters and sons of Brummel are formidable indeed!" she exclaimed as she slipped her arm around Ana. "I want you all to meet my extremely patient and also, quite formidable daughter, Anastasia."

Ana raised her hand at the elbow to wave with her fingers, then let it flop down to her side. She glared back at her mother, expectantly.

"Please, please come in!" Sergeant Halsted beckoned. "We'll make sure you're fed and housed for as long as you'd like to stay. The best accommodations in town! I'm sure the new mayor would love to meet the legendary hero, Portia Pridemoon."

"It's nice that people still remember me. I heard there is a statue?"

The marten's smile froze and melted at the edges. "There is."

"How did you not recognize my mother?" Ana inserted, her voice firm. "Are there so many foxes that look like us?"

The half-wince remained on his face and he stopped.

"Well, no. Your mother was the first and only one we'd seen. Quite remarkable and distinct. Which is why we were caught off-guard by reports of two women matching her description robbing convoys coming in and out of the valley. We wondered at first but some details we've learned since made it clear to those of us who remember, it definitely wasn't Portia. For one, these girls are more your age than your mothers."

Portia's smile disappeared and her brow raised. "You knew it wasn't me because they looked too young?"

"Well," Rolf actually winced this time. "They were described as younger than you were last time you were here. No one has seen you in twelve years, but we assumed you'd continue to age, like we all do." He studied her again. "That was a poor assumption, I see."

Her face softened. "Good answer."

"Age was only one factor. They're also twins. One talks with a lisp and the other doesn't speak at all. Most curiously though is that they're... not quite girls at all. Very obviously not quite girls."

"So you've mistaken us for boys? US?!"

The marten scratched his head. "No, we wouldn't do that. They look female at first. Short, unladylike haircuts and clothing like men but still women with figures like yours. But they have something extra. In the front. A bulge that they don't try to hide. I don't know if it's magic, they're cross-dressers impersonating you or some kind of freaks."

Ana's eyes lit up, and she grabbed her mother's wrist. Rolf continued.

"Some even suggested you'd been hiding something on your last visit, but a few lucky men testified on your behalf with absolute certainty that you were not."

Portia huffed a laugh then turned to her daughter, but her attention was on the marten.

"What are their names?" Ana asked.

"Tatiana and Titania. We've got wanted posters all over town."

Ana pushed in, shoulder to shoulder, to whisper in her ear, her body tilted away from the enormous breadth of her bust. "Remember the Purebloods Zarron sent away for being too much trouble? Tati and Titian."

Portia's eyes lit up. "More psychics."

"Where did he send them again?"

"Assassin School."

Her expression hardened. "Brilliant. So they're psychic assassins now?"

Ana shrugged. "They ran away and disappeared. I don't know how well-trained they were when they did."

"It seems you may know them," Sergeant Rolf interrupted. "There was a city meeting about all the incidents and thankfully, your reputation was exonerated. But the statue had already become a bit controversial as Brummel grew in the years since. People who don't remember how you helped this place have complained that it was lewd, even though the artist was..." his eyes flicked down to her chest. "... conservative with your measurements."

"I remember the artist. He knew my measurements."

"After these two robbed enough people and ruined a few marriages, the Mayor conceded to take it down."

"Ruined marriages?" Ana raised a brow while her mother controlled her long exhale.

"The statue is gone?"

"No, just in storage. But it's no longer on public display."

Portia growled under her breath. "You have so many soldiers now. How have you not found them yet?"

"We tried but they're elusive. We send out trackers and even bait and ambushes but they avoid them all. It's like they know when we're coming."

"That would make sense for psychics," Ana said to her mother then turned her attention to Rolf. "How are they ruining marriages? Killing husbands or wives?"

He looked at Ana, eyes wandering a moment before finding hers. "Along with their gifts of evasion, they also share a gift for seduction. Early accounts suggested coercion or force but digging deeper, we learned it was indirect. Like some kind of magic or witchcraft."

Ana's forehead lifted and she nudged her mother. "Psychics."

Nostrils flared as Portia controlled her breathing. "I was really looking forward to seeing that statue."

"I assure you, Ms. Pridemoon, it wasn't the Guard who complained. You inspired a generation of young women to take up arms for their city and the men didn't mind either. I'm sure we can arrange a viewing with the artist, though he's been a bit of a recluse the last few years."

"I don't want to see it in a fucking warehouse. I want to see it where it's supposed to be."

"That would be a conversation with the Mayor."

"It could be!" Portia blurted out, her face tight and cordial. "But I suppose he wouldn't have a choice if I were to save this town again."

The stoic faces of their older escorts softened with cracked smiles, the broadest of which was on Sergeant Halsted.

"No Ms. Pridemoon, I suppose she would not."

"What was the old inn in town? 'Toothless something?'"

"The Toothless Beaver, ma'am. But there's a nicer, newer..."

"Is the Toothless Beaver still run by that nice marmot couple?"

"I believe so. We'd be happy to escort you to either one."

"I know the way."

Rolf's smile tightened again. "We should avoid any more misunderstandings until we have the twins in custody."

Ana tugged her mother's arm and Rolf gave her a nod while Portia noticed the men and women had taken tight formation around them on all sides, blocking them from public view.

"Oh, fine."

Chapter 3

Inside the walls and down the new, straight and orderly streets of Brummel, the pack of guards attracted some attention but kept the pair of vixens mostly shielded from sight.

They walked some distance before any of it was familiar, with a clear border of the clean, new city and the winding, organic curves of the old town. Even there, buildings she remembered as low or modest had expanded in all directions with different materials and techniques if not replaced entirely.

Some were taller still and among them more in various stages of construction and the occasional hammering rang out as crews wrapped up work for the day. Piles of building supplies, especially granite bricks were frequent, and the rain made small, chalky rivers of what would have been dust in the air.

"Quite the boom town this place has become!"

"Indeed, it has," Rolf nodded. "Sometimes people of my generation and older get lost in places they used to know! Thankfully, we have some wonderful city planners and it's all very well thought out."

"And how do you pay for all this growth?"

"Mines and quarries. After the slaver incident, we realized there wasn't much to stop anyone in south Helgraav from doing it again unless we secured the whole valley. We recruited senior soldiers and trainers from abroad with the promise of homesteads, which enabled more exploration and surveying and made sure our city watch were world class. That opened us up to near unlimited granite in the mountains and a healthy supply of gold. We invested the gold back into expanding and securing Brummel, and here we are today."

"But you haven't secured the whole valley."

"Alas, these brigands are a particular thorn in our side. I'm sure they'll be no match for you."

Somewhere behind them, Ana huffed a sigh.

Arriving at the inn, the sergeant ordered most of his unit to wait, picking four of them to join them inside.

The marmot couple who ran the Toothless Beaver did not mistake Portia's identity, and greeted them graciously upon their arrival. Portia introduced Anastasia while the couple presented their children, their toddler who was now a star-struck teenage girl plus two new ones, aged eight and ten.

"Please, stay as long as you like. Room and board is complimentary for the Hero of Brummel!" the husband declared, drawing a wince from his wife.

"I'd suggest the two of you take your dinner in your rooms, except there's no one else here," Sergeant Halsted said. "I suppose it's safe enough."

"Those highway robbers have scared off any travelers and traders outside the biggest and richest caravans," the wife explained. "The new inn, the Wicked Hen, was built to cater to the wealthier visitors and now that's all there is. It's cut into our income quite a lot."

"Thank you but we can't accept your charity when your business is already hurting," Portia replied, pushing a few silver coins into the wife's hand.

"But you're the hero of Brummel!" the husband protested, half to Portia and half to his wife.

"Thank us after we've brought these bandits to justice."

"... and is our hero yet again!" the wife dipped into a gracious bow, sliding the coins from the table into the pocket of her dress.

Sergeant Rolf excused himself but left four guards to watch at the inn door, while Portia indulged the children with stories over an ale. In the kitchen, the husband and wife prepared dinner.

Two plates arrived by the husband while the wife brought two fresh ales and shooed off the children. "Let our guests dine in peace. They'll need their rest if they're going to catch those bandits!"

Portia settled into her seat facing Ana, who squeezed in closer to the table to reach her plate.

"Tell me everything there is to know about these twin bitches."

Ana fumbled with her plate and cutlery and the challenging space between them before giving up and setting it on the shelf of her chest.

"Tati and Titian were born in the first batch of Purebloods. The same one Jasper is from. All at the same time as the Duodecaplets. Zarron introduced the twins as our brothers and the Duos as an experiment."

"They lived with us for five years. They joined Eva and I in our common tutelage but not my magical apprenticeship."

"No magic? That's some relief." Portia leaned back in her chair and took a drink of her ale.

Ana nodded. "They would be bad at it. They were curious but restless. Chaotic. Always getting into trouble. As they got older, they tried to pick on Eva and I. They were fast and strong but I knew magic so they left both of us alone. I doubt Eva remembers but I protected her. They had mental abilities, like mind magic but not the same. Latent, not learned. Once during class, Tati nudged me and whispered 'watch this.' He clenched his brow. Then our math tutor froze and a puddle formed around one foot."

Portia crumpled her face with a chuckle. "Blood or piss?"

"Piss."

"What a useless ability."

"It was useful for making tutor after tutor resign the moment the twins got bored, which was often. Zarron stopped allowing them in our classes but that only made them more restless. They always wanted to play in ways that would upset Zarron, breaking things, being noisy and making messes. All kinds of trouble. Titian tried to use it on Eva and myself but nothing happened. Not the Duos either. They were still children so that could have changed but I never saw their powers work on family."

"Well, Jasper could read my mind," Portia said, shifting in her seat. "So let's not assume that's still true."

"Right. It worked on Zarron. Once. That's when he made us both learn enough Mind Magic to defend against psychics. He said psychics were meant to be long gone from the world so most wizards never learned any countermeasures. He worried they would get stronger.