Quite Contrary

Author's Note:Yes, yes, I know - it's been way too long. I apologize for that; I was dealing with a lot of writers' block over the summer. I'm planning for this to be a five part story, and I promise I'll do everything in my power not to make you all wait this long for the final chapter. It's all plotted out, I just need to translate my gobbledygook outlining into actual English prose. Thanks to everyone who's encouraged me during my absence - knowing you care about my work is extremely meaningful for me. In case anyone was wondering, the places mentioned in Newburyport in this chapter are all real. A lot of the Christmasy things Jamie's family does are also drawn from my own family traditions. And yes, I know it's fall and I'm publishing a Christmas-themed chapter even though people starting the holiday season too early is one of my pet peeves, but that's just where we are in the story. I figured you all wouldn't want me to wait until December. =)

Quite Contrary - Part 4

Quite Contrary - Part 4

"How am I more nervous about this than you are?"

Mary laughed as she and Jamie walked arm-in-arm down the hallway toward Mika's penthouse. "Because you overthink everything. It's a Christmas party, not a job interview."

"Yeah, I know..." Jamie trailed off, unvoiced worries swimming in his mind. He wasn't entirely sure what precisely he was anxious about. Mary had gotten along famously with the teammates she'd met, so he knew logically that he had no real reason to worry that she'd hate the rest of them, but his brain refused to shut up about it.

The gentle squeeze of her hand on his arm pulled him from his anxiety spiral.

"Everything will be fine, Jamie," she assured him with a loving smile. "You don't have to worry about me not getting along with your teammates. I pride myself on my ability to get along with pretty much everyone."

Like an involuntary reaction, the corner of his mouth quirked up. "That's true. It's like your superpower. That and looking amazing in an ugly Christmas sweater."

Chuckling, she glanced down at her attire, a forest green sweater adorned with a moose and the words "Merry Christmas, eh?" in large white font. Looking back up, she nodded at him. "You don't look half bad yourself. Not many men could rock a Bumble sweater, but you pull it off quite nicely."

Unable to repress his smile, Jamie tugged at the hem of his blue sweater, which depicted the abominable snowman - the "Bumble" - from the oldRudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeeranimated special putting a star on top of a Christmas tree. He'd always enjoyed Mika's annual ugly Christmas sweater party, and being able to share it with Mary made it all the more special.

There was only the briefest of pauses after Jamie knocked on Mika's door before it swung open, revealing the captain adorned with a cheery smile and a sweater depicting Ralphie fromA Christmas Storywearing his pink bunny pajamas.

"Mack! Welcome!" he greeted Jamie warmly. "And you must be Mary. I have heard so much about you but we have not yet formally met."

Smiling brightly, Mary extended her hand. "It's lovely to meet you! Thank you for inviting me."

Bypassing the handshake, Mika pulled her into a hug. "Of course! It is my pleasure. I have never seen Mack so happy."

Jamie blushed at that but couldn't stop the silly smile that spread across his lips. He was indeed happier than he'd ever recalled being, though he hadn't realized it was so easy for others to tell since he tended to play his emotions fairly close to the vest.

"Please, come in." Mika opened the door wider and gestured for them to follow him inside. The apartment was lovely and spacious with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the Boston Public Garden. It was modern but held many homey touches, which Jamie knew came courtesy of Mika's wife Frida. Some of their two young daughters' drawings hung proudly on a corkboard in the front hallway, including what appeared to be a stick figure portrait of the entire family. The home was tastefully decorated for the holidays and instrumental Christmas carols tolled merrily from the sound system.

"Drinks are in the kitchen," Mika told them, taking their coats and hanging them in the hall closet. "Please, help yourselves."

Taking Mary's hand, Jamie led them both down the hall. Several of his teammates and their significant others had gathered in the kitchen, leaning against the counters, sipping spiked eggnog and mulled wine, and chatting jovially. Pausing what appeared to be an animated discussion about Quentin Tarantino movies with Olivier Bessette, Kai waved them over.

"Hey, Mack and Mary!" he greeted them, hugging them both in turn. "Merry Christmas!"

Mary beamed. "Merry Christmas to you as well! Love the sweater."

He chuckled, glancing down at the cartoon of Godzilla wearing a Santa hat while destroying Tokyo that adorned his top. "Thanks! It was a gift from my fiancé. Ellie!" he called across the room to a pretty brunette. "C'mere and meet Mack's girlfriend!"

Smiling, the woman made her way over to the group. "Hi! You must be Mary. Kai's told me so much about you."

"Good things, I hope?" Mary chuckled.

Ellie nodded. "Mostly about how perfect you are for Jamie, even though you're -gasp- aHabs fan." She whispered the last bit with a dramatic, conspiratorial flair.

"Hush now!" Mary shushed her, glancing around warily. "You'll blow my cover."

Ellie and Kai both laughed heartily at that, and a wide grin spread across Jamie's face. He truly admired the way Mary could so effortlessly charm those fortunate enough to cross her path. It wasn't a fake, greasy sort of charm either, like the kind he associated with used car salesmen. She had a genuine warmth and gregariousness that he knew was completely authentic to the core of who she was as a person, and he absolutely adored her for it.

Before Jamie could object (not that he necessarily would have), Ellie whisked Mary away to meet some of the other wives and girlfriends present.

"Seems like you guys are getting pretty serious," Kai observed as the two of them watched their respective partners becoming fast friends from across the room.

Shifting a bit uneasily, Jamie nodded. "Yeah, I guess we are."

"Sorry, man," Kai apologized, sensing his teammate's discomfort at the line of questioning. "I didn't mean to pry."

"Nah, it's alright," Jamie replied with a shrug, trying to process what exactly it was that was making him uncomfortable. "I've just... I've never felt this strongly about anyone before. I'm crazy about her," he admitted. "It's all new to me. I just don't want to fuck it up somehow."

Kai nodded in understanding. "I get it, man. Just go with it, though. She makes you happy, and that's what matters."

Deciding his teammate was right, Jamie poured himself a glass of mulled wine from the large punchbowl sitting on the counter and wandered out into the living room to people-watch. Ellie had brought Mary over by the fireplace to meet Mika's wife Frida, and the three of them were already laughing like they'd known each other for years while other clusters of players and spouses around the room ate, drank, and were merry.

Jamie strolled over toward the windows but paused and turned around when he heard his name uttered quietly from one of the couches.

"...one like Mack's girl."

"Who, Mary?" a visibly uncomfortable Gavin Landry asked the man sitting next to him, a defenseman on the Providence Bruins, Boston's AHL affiliate, named Tyler Graves. Tyler had been periodically called up to play with Boston on nights when one of the defensemen was sick or injured, and Jamie honestly didn't care much for him. He was the sort of man who never stopped to consider whether the words that came out of his mouth were actually worth saying or, more importantly, worth hearing for those around him. Jamie couldn't help but think that the sweater he was wearing - which depicted what could only be described as a "fuckboy elf" - fit his personality perfectly.

"Yeah, her," Tyler answered, rolling his eyes. "I get that 'thick' women are trendy right now, but God, go for a fucking run. I won't date any chick bigger than a size four."

Jamie felt disgust well up inside his soul. Stepping into the moron's line of sight, he addressed him with the cold, calculated venom of a man who knew he was smarter and more powerful than his adversary.

"The reason you go after skinny bimbos is that you're a little boy who's too dumb to interest a real woman and too pencil-dicked to make a real woman come."

Gavin snorted, muffling the sound with his hand.

Tyler opened his mouth like he wanted to object, but Jamie cut him off.

"You have two options, Graves," he growled. "Come down with a sudden migraine and go home early, or I slam your face into that coffee table and give you anactualmigraine. Choose wisely."

After a few moments of tense silence, Tyler spoke up in a much quieter tone than normal. "Um... I guess I should get home anyway..."

"Good choice."

Jamie watched coldly as Tyler rose from the couch.

"Graves," he growled, freezing the younger man in his tracks before he could walk away. "If I hear you so much asbreathea negative word about my girlfriend ever again, I'll go out of my way to make sure you never see another minute of NHL ice time. And believe me, I can make that happen. I'm not a bridge you want to burn."

Swallowing heavily, Tyler nodded briefly and made for the exit.

"Damn, dude," Gavin chuckled as they watched him leave. "That even scaredmea little."

The comment gave Jamie pause and made him start second-guessing the approach he'd taken to the situation. "Do you think I went too far?" he asked.

Gavin shook his head. "Nah. Graves is a fuckwit anyway. Got a real big mouth."

Jamie hummed his agreement.

Like a ray of sunshine cutting through the clouds of his irritation, Mary caught his eye from across the room and smiled. She came over to join him and he immediately wrapped his arms around her.

Tyler Graves could go fuck himself. Mary's soft curves were absolutely perfect.

Frida's accented voice cut through the hum of the group's chatter. "Would anyone like to play a game? Maybe charades?"

There were general murmurs of agreement from the handful of guests in the vicinity. Enough mulled wine had been consumed that a battle of the sexes was agreed upon as the format for the competition.

Jamie smirked to himself as he gathered with the rest of the men to write prompts for their significant others to act out. In addition to being competitive, his brain was packed full of generally useless trivia and ideas that made for excellent charades prompts. He had an extensive track record of completely stumping his rivals as they struggled to act out the strange musings of his mind, and he was interested to see how Mary fared.

With enough sufficiently challenging or ridiculous prompts scribbled on bits of paper and put into two separate bowls, the game began. Kai and Ellie did a quick round of Rock-Paper-Scissors to see which team would start. Her paper covered his rock, and the women's team opted to go second, presumably for the sheer enjoyment of watching the men look foolish.

Rolling his eyes, Kai plucked a piece of paper from the bowl of prompts the women had written and read it with his brow furrowed.

"Ready?" Frida asked, grasping a small hourglass she'd borrowed from a game of Boggle.

He nodded.

"Aaaaand... GO!" she exclaimed, flipping the hourglass over.

Facing his teammates, Kai held his hands in front of him and mimed pressing buttons.

"Some kind of video game?" Gavin asked.

Kai nodded and held up a finger.

"One word," Mika noted.

Nodding again, Kai suddenly stiffened, pinning his arms tightly to his sides. He began to slowly sink down toward the floor.

"What the fuck..." Gavin muttered.

"Space Invaders?" Jamie guessed.

"That's two words, dumbass," Gavin pointed out, earning a scowl from his teammate.

Shaking his head, Kai rose to his full height again, stuck his arms out to the side to form an L-shape, and once again began a slow descent.

"Thirty seconds left," Frida informed the group.

Suddenly, a lightbulb blinked on in Jamie's mind.

"Oh, Tetris!" he shouted triumphantly.

"Bingo!" Kai exclaimed, popping back up.

"Wrong game, babe," Ellie teased him with a grin.

He stuck his tongue out at her childishly.

Giggling, she stood up to take her turn and fished a prompt out of the other bowl. She raised an eyebrow at it but said nothing as Mika swiped the hourglass from his wife.

"Ready, set, GO!" he pronounced.

Wasting no time, Ellie held up two fingers and then planted her hands on her hips.

"Two words, and it's a person," Mary stated. Jamie noted how intensely she was focused on the game, and he wondered if he would finally see her at her most competitive.

Nodding, Ellie bent over and mimed taking off her shoe.

Jamie chuckled, remembering the prompt Mika had written that he was sure was now the subject of Ellie's pantomime. He did feel a bit sorry for Mary since the person in question - and, more importantly, the incident for which he was infamous - was part of Bruins lore and not necessarily something fans of other franchises would know about.

"The Barefoot Contessa?" Gavin's girlfriend Sarah guessed.

Ellie shook her head before turning to her fiancé and pretending to beat the absolute shit out of him with her invisible shoe.

To Jamie's surprise, Mary let out a hearty laugh. "I've got it," she declared. "Mike Milbury!"

"Nailed it!" Ellie crowed, giving her a high-five.

"How'd you even know that, Mary?" asked Niko, who had been leaning against the mantle and watching the shenanigans unfold with interest. "I didn't think Habs fans would know about the 'brawl in the stands.'"

Mary grinned. "That video of Milbury smacking a Rangers fan with his own shoe is legendary. It's definitely made the rounds north of the border."

Gavin scrunched up his face in confusion. "Wait... you're a Habs fan?"

Niko waved off his inquiry. "Old news, Gav. We've already mocked Mack to death about it. Get with the program."

Shrugging, Gavin got up to take his turn, successfully conveying the filmAlienby mimicking the famous chest-burster scene, which Jamie could have identified in his sleep.

"You and your horror movies..." Niko muttered, rolling his eyes good-naturedly.

"At least he finally has someone to enjoy them with," Kai teased, nodding in Mary's direction.

She smiled. "That he does."

Sarah took a turn for the women's team next, and Ellie correctly identified her impression of Marilyn Monroe. Mika's attempt to convey "Lance Armstrong's remaining testicle" was far less successful, and Jamie couldn't help but laugh at the six-foot-seven captain's efforts to ride an invisible bicycle.

Frida was up next, and her first order of business was to crank an invisible film camera.

"It's a movie," Sarah noted.

Frida nodded before suddenly pointing at the rug.

Ellie cocked her head to the side. "Uh... flying carpet?Aladdin?"

Frida shook her head and pointed emphatically downward again before gesturing at the room around them and bringing her hands together with a loud clap.

The women stared at her, dumbfounded.

"Twenty seconds," Mika announced.

Jamie allowed himself to feel smug for a moment (though the prompt had been Kai's) before a noise of triumph pierced the silence.

"Oh, oh, oh...!" Mary crowed, bouncing excitedly in her seat. "I get it. The rug really brings the room together.The Big Lebowski!"

"Yes!" Frida cheered.

Jamie was certainly impressed, and he smiled to himself as he considered how clever his girlfriend was. Intelligence was extremely sexy to him. He'd heard the term "sapiosexual" used to describe that particular preference before, and while he wasn't sure it fully described him, he'd have been lying if he said Mary's wit wasn't a massive turn-on.

"Hey, McDumbass!" Niko shouted, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Quit daydreaming. It's your turn."

Wordlessly flipping off his friend (much to the crowd's amusement), Jamie stood and retrieved a piece of paper from the bowl.

Liechtenstein, it read.

He scowled. How the fuck was he supposed to act that out?

Frida's voice disrupted his plotting. "Ready, set, GO!"

Deciding he didn't have time to be stumped, Jamie quickly drew a circle in the air with one hand and pointed to it with the other.

"A place?" Mika suggested.

Jamie nodded. Thinking quickly, he mimed putting on a hat and yodeling, opening and closing his mouth rapidly and flicking his tongue.

Kai raised an eyebrow. "Uh.. the Republic of Lick-puss-istan?"

Ellie smacked him.

"Are you yodeling?" Mika inquired.

Pointing to him - and extremely grateful to be done with his unexpectedly suggestive pantomime - Jamie nodded emphatically.

"Austria," Gavin guessed.

Jamie shook his head and jerked his thumb to the right.

Kai perked up. "Oh, Switzerland!"

Jamie shook his head again, realizing that his teammates had probably forgotten about Liechtenstein's existence. It was a tiny country, after all.

"Thirty seconds!" Frida announced.

Trying a different tactic, Jamie tapped three fingers on his arm before holding up one of them.

"Three syllables, first syllable," Gavin noted.

Nodding, Jamie held up an invisible ice cream cone and stuck out his tongue to lick it.

Niko chuckled. "Why do all of your impressions come off as sexual, Mack?"

"Because you have a dirty mind," Ellie supplied.

He shrugged. "Not gonna deny that."

"Lick," Kai guessed.

Jamie nodded as Frida gave the men a ten-second warning.

Mika's eyes suddenly lit up. "Oh, Liechtenstein!"

"Yup," he confirmed, relieved he hadn't lost his team a point and grateful to have the spotlight pass off of him.

Mary smiled at him flirtatiously. "Impressive. That was a tough one, too. Got it in just under the mark."

He smirked. "Glad my miming has your stamp of approval. Your turn."

She stood and took a piece of paper. As soon as she read it, she looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "Really, Jamie?"

"What did I do?" he asked, feigning innocence.

"Thisis the prompt you want me to act out?"

"How do you know it was me?"

"I know what your handwriting looks like."

He grinned amid the snickers from those around them. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, Mary."

Counting down from three, Mika flipped over the timer.

What followed was the most ridiculous piece of absurdist pantomime theater Jamie had ever witnessed. Mary flapped, waved, spun around, and made grand sweeping gestures. The women called out all manner of guesses, each more niche than the last and none even remotely close to what Jamie had written. He could practically feel their collective desperation mounting as the sand in the hourglass trickled lower.

"TIME!" Mika shouted as the last grain fell.

Jamie smirked. "You wanna tell them what the prompt was, Mary?"

Glaring at him, she sighed. "The meaning of life."

"What the actual fuck, Jamie?" Ellie protested as the men howled with laughter. "How isanyonesupposed to act that out?"

He just shrugged, slinging his arm across Mary's shoulders as she took a seat next to him on the couch. As the game continued, he leaned close to whisper flirtatiously in her ear.

"Not gonna lie: your pantomiming was adorable but also hilariously bad. Looks like after two months I'vefinallyfound a flaw."

She chuckled. "In that case, I guess it's a relief to not be on a pedestal anymore since being perfect for you is tiring. Thoughto be fair, you gave me a prompt that philosophers have been debating for millennia without coming up with a clear answer. Not sure how you expected me to act out 'the meaning of life.'"