Siren

2 The Situation

Gertrude clapped an arm across her chest and sure enough felt nothing but skin. She pulled the blanket close around her and then sent her hand south to check there. At least her panties were still in place. She wanted to disappear, she wanted to hide, she wanted to die, anything rather than have all of those eyes on her. A part of her mind knew she was starting to panic and urged her to stop and breathe but how could she? A moment later an arm was on her shoulder. Gertrude shook it off and screamed before she realized it was Samantha.

"Get your greasy eyes off her!"

Samantha's voice sounded far away. It was getting hard to see. Gertrude had to calm down, she was hyperventilating. The last thing she wanted to do was lose consciousness, especially in front of the police. She didn't remember sitting down but the next thing she knew she was in a police car and Sammy was handing her a black T-shirt that had the letters MPD emblazoned on it. Her hands were shaking so bad that even when Sammy held the blanket in front of her to give her some privacy it still took Gertrude three tries to get the shirt on.

Not knowing what to do Gertrude got out of the car and paced while Craig and the other officer put the thief into the back of the car. She kept her arms folded tightly across her breasts even though she knew she was covered.

"I'm so sorry Gerty," Samantha said softly, trying not to let anyone else hear. "I didn't mean to." Gertrude snapped her head up and looked at Sammy. What had she just said?

"Bugger, I'm not sure whether to thank you for stopping the guy or arrest you for indecent exposure," Craig interrupted. He stormed up to them with a strange mixture of anger and relief in his gait. "Thank goodness you are both safe, but damn it Gertrude, you could have been killed!"

"I don't know what happened," Gertrude muttered, her heart finally starting to beat again. "But I got him."

"Oh, you got him all right," Craig shot back, "and made a spectacle of yourself in the process. You think you'll be allowed on the force now?"

Samantha stepped between them. "Craig, honey, I can explain. Let me take Gertrude home and I will explain tonight. We'll all have dinner." She wrapped her arms around him and you could see the electricity dissipate. She defused him like a demolitions expert. How did she do that?

"I really ought to get her to the station for a statement," he grumbled. "But just this once... I got this, you take her home."

"Thank you," Samantha said softly. "I'll see you later." She kissed him lightly then fell away from him and rushed over to Gertrude. "Let's get home before anything else happens."

Gertrude followed with her arms crossed over her chest wondering how Samantha did it? Craig had let her go. Was it possible for her to do that? Then again if she had to kiss everyone she wanted to convince of something then she was fine going and giving a statement. When they were within sight of their flat Gertrude was able to finally relax and put her arms down at her sides. Her temples no longer thrummed with her heartbeat and she could think about what had happened instead of feeling it.

"You said it was your fault, Sammy," Gertrude said as they entered the complex.

Samantha's face seemed to wind up like a clock. "Yes," she admitted. "It has to do with my job."

Gertrude shot her the most fierce stare she could manage.

"Don't look at me like that, I was trying to help."

"Help what? Do you need help?" Eugene leaned out his window as they walked past.

"No Gene, we just need to get home," Samantha said.

"If you need help I'd be more than willing to lend you some cash," He said eagerly.

"No, no, it's really nothing," Samantha soothed. "We just need a break, you understand." She pulled out her keys and opened their door.

"Oh, okay," Gene called. "And I like the shirt Gerty."

Gertrude flushed. Oh if it hadn't been such a hard day already his head would roll down the sidewalk. "Mmmmhmmm," was all she was able to manage before she all but ran inside and let Samantha close the door behind them. The door had no sooner closed than the built up pressure burst out. "Aaaaaaahhhh, can you believe it? Cute little Gerty, I like your shirt. As if he couldn't see that, well, see everything. It's like I'm showing off a couple light switches. Is that all anyone sees? Nevermind that I stopped some crazy jiujitsu criminal from making off with a bank vault, no, little Gerty is naked, everyone come get your fill!" Gertrude stopped to take a breath and saw Samantha biting her own lips to keep from speaking. "What?"

"It was pretty badass when you clobbered that guy, and nearly naked no less. It was like a slow motion action film mixed with mud wrestling."

They both burst out laughing at the absurd image. "That's me all right," Gertrude said and suddenly wanted to cry. "Okay Sammy, spill it. What happened out there?"

Samantha sighed and ran her hands over her face. "So, at Firewheel I am a record keeper on a project that is, well... Okay, I'm not supposed to have this, but my boss told me that they needed real world data and turned a blind eye while I brought this home." She pulled a small device that looked like a remote control from her pocket.

"Okay, what does that control and what does it have to do with me?" Gertrude asked.

"We call this a Phaser. It changes the state of atomic structures."

Gertrude wore a blank stare.

"Okay, so you know everything is made of atoms, and atoms are a nucleus with electrons whizzing around it."

Gertrude nodded.

"Well, most of that is empty space. At an atomic level nothing ever touches it's all just empty. Well this Phaser disrupts the atomic bonds so that they can't affect each other anymore. Basically it nullifies all the forces on something and makes it go incorporeal."

"You turned my dress into a ghost?" Gertrude asked.

"Sort of," Samantha winced. "I was aiming for the man's gun and, well..."

"What if you hadn't hit my dress Sammy? Could you have ghosted me?"

"No, no, no it only affects non-biological solid objects, and only temporarily."

"Let me get this straight," Gertrude rubbed the bridge of her nose. "You were trying to vaporize the thief's gun and disintegrated my dress instead."

"Yes," Samantha gulped. "But the dress is probably back by now, not that we'll ever find it."

"Oh nice to know someone is finding my sun dress at the bank right now." Gertrude looked down at herself still in the police T-shirt and with a blanket tied around her waist. "I'm getting changed." She stomped into her room and slammed the door, so furious that she had no idea what to do. This was so bizarre, so insane, that it only could have happened to her. Was the entire universe out to get her? There had to be someone behind all of it, all the loss, all the failure, all the bad luck and everything. There had to be someone she could punch to make it stop. Instead she beat on her pillow. She stripped out of the T-shirt and blanket, instead opting for leggings and a singlet. She wanted to go to the gym and hit the punching bag until it cried, maybe then, she wouldn't have to, but instead she made do with alternately beating and watering her pillow.

When she came out of her room two hours later Samantha was making dinner. Gertrude sat at the table in silence. She wanted this to be over, but she didn't want to talk about it. This was one of those embarrassing things that would hang over you your whole life. It seemed like she had more of those than should be possible but this was even worse than most.

"Gerty can you come hold the strainer for me while I get the pasta?" Samantha asked.

Gertrude nodded and went to the sink.

"I've been thinking a lot about what happened," Samantha said. Her voice pushed so gently that the stream from the boiling pasta threatened to topple it. "That was really the first thing like that you have ever done. I mean, like stopping a criminal."

Gertrude nodded as Samantha poured the pot's contents into the colander. It had felt amazing to finally be the one to stop something like that. To protect people. If only it had been different.

"It might be too early to say this," Samantha continued, "but I need to tell you before Craig gets here." She glanced toward the door as if he were about to walk in though he wouldn't be off work for another hour. "You looked good today."

Gertrude whipped her head around so fast that her own hair slapped her in the face. "What?" She could feel herself turning red.

"No, not like that," Samantha said. "I mean you did look good enough that I'm sure some of the women were questioning their life choices, but that isn't what I mean." She cleared her throat, clearly uncomfortable as well. "What I mean is that he had a gun on you and you disarmed and detained him with your bare..."

"Breasts," Gertrude snapped.

"Hands. I was going to say hands." Samantha sighed. "If your dress had not disappeared, he would have shot you. I know what I did, what happened, was embarrassing for you..."

"It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me," Gertrude interjected.

"Yes, but it saved your life. And you did look hot taking that guy down."

The two of them laughed because the only other option would have been to start throwing punches at each other. Gertrude dumped the pasta back into the pot and Samantha got the pan of sauce off the range.

"The point is that it worked," Samantha said. "You stopped him. The bad guy got caught and no one got hurt."

"Except my chances of ever being in law enforcement," Gertrude grumbled.

"Have you ever considered just doing it yourself?"

"What? You mean listening to police radios and interfering before they get there?" Gertrude sat down, then stood right back up. "Are you saying I should be some kind of vigilante?"

Sammantha worked her jaw before responding. "You do that job better than anyone. You could have any criminal beat before the police put down their doughnuts and you know it. The only difference is that you don't have a gun."

"Or a badge."

Samantha nodded to concede the point. "What happened to you today worked. I think next time we should try that on purpose."

"Next time?" Gertrude knit her brows. "There is no next time and wait... You want me to do that again? Expose myself, make a fool of myself?"

"Hear me out before you shoot it down," Samantha pressed.

"No, this is ridiculous! I can't... I mean, those were real bullets. I could have died, and I'm not some stripper to show off my body like..." Gertrude shuddered and hid her face.

"I am sorry about what I did," Samantha put her hand on Gertrude's back. "You are right. Your chances of being an officer are gone. I ruined that for you." She moved around to be in front of Gertrude. "But you are alive, and I think we can still make it so that you can do what you've always wanted to do."

Gertrude peeked between her hands into Sammy's earnest eyes. She did want it. She had wanted it for as long as she could remember, but Samantha was asking too much. "I could never get away with it. You heard Craig today, the police would arrest me just like any common criminal."

"Not if they don't catch you. Not if they don't know it's you."

"Oh hell, you're serious aren't you?"

Samantha nodded then smirked. "And I honestly want to be there to see it."

"You are the worst!" Gertrude smacked her in the arm harder than she intended.

"The problem with the phaser is that it works best at close range which makes it useless for affecting anything it's not attached to." Samantha rubbed her arm. "But for something like a suit it would be totally ideal."

"I can't believe I'm actually talking about this," Gertrude rubbed her nose. "I am not going to strip in front of criminals so that I can play hero."

"It's not stripping. It's a distraction. It's playing to your advantages."

"My advantages?" Gertrude was the craziest mix of horrified, angry, confused, and intrigued that she had ever been.

"Well, you should have seen everyone's faces at the bank." Samantha smiled wickedly. "None of them could peel their eyes off you."

"Don't remind me," Gertrude groaned.

"You are a good looking woman. That is an asset. You would have to be a fool not to use it."

Gertrude could swear that if she blushed any more it would become permanent. "Okay, fine. I'm not saying I'll agree to this, but if I decided to try, how would it work." She couldn't believe she was actually considering it, but it had felt good to finally do something. She had been trying for so long and to finally put her skills to the test and win was almost worth the embarrassment.

Samantha clapped and laughed.

"Sammy, I'm not saying I will do it, just that I will listen." Gertrude gritted her teeth, already regretting this.

"Okay, picture this," Samantha gestured as if to a vista, "you come upon someone being mugged behind a building. Two men have knives and you walk right up to them and tell them to stop. They obviously try to fight you and get away, but you push a simple button and you are like in a bikini or something. They stare in shock while you disarm and clobber them. We leave an anonymous call to the cops to come pick them up and get their witness and stuff, and we're gone before anyone is the wiser."

"Won't it be a little hard to hide my identity if I'm nak... If they can see all of me. Won't they just tell the cops, 'yeah, that naked chick running away is the one what nabbed us'. You're dreaming."

"That's the thing, if I link the phaser to.."

There was a knock at the door and immediately Craig poked his head in. "Hello, Sammy can I come in?"

"You already are, so may as well," she said then shot Gertrude a look to say that their conversation wasn't over. "You're a bit early."

"I know," Craig closed the door behind him then kissed Samantha lightly. "I would have been here hours ago but it took a bit of work keeping the paper trail quiet." He handed Gertrude a ball of cloth. "By the way, this fell on my windscreen as I was going back to the station."

Gertrude let the cloth fall open to reveal her sun dress. "Oh my..." She was wrong, she could blush even more. "How did you...?"

"Like I said, it just fell on my car as I was driving back to the station. Got caught actually. It was waving behind us like a flag."

Gertrude squeaked and covered her mouth. It was one thing to talk about what had happened with Samantha and something else to be confronted by her perfectly sculpted boyfriend who was now looking at her like they had never met.

"So, what happened?" Craig asked and looked from Sammy to Gertrude and back again. "You promised me an explanation."

"Yes, I did," Samantha said. "Let's sit down and have some dinner and we'll talk." She guided Craig to the table and Gertrude followed, wishing she was somewhere else and that Sammy would take care of it. "I took Gerty with me to the bank this morning to pay on my student loan. You know how student loans are, if you don't pay it immediately then they charge you a fee and before you know it your rates start to go up and..."

"I know," Craig interrupted, raising an eyebrow. "Now how did Gertrude end up plastered to this guy like a hook..."

"Craig Ferguson, don't you dare say it!" Samantha yelled over him.

Gertrude grit her teeth, not knowing whether to be upset or agree with him.

"Okay," Craig put his hands up in surrender. "Then you explain it."

Samantha carefully put pasta on each plate and ladled sauce then sat down and still didn't answer. Craig cleared his throat.

"Oh, for goodness sake," Gertrude burst out, unable to take the tension. "Sammy disintegrated my dress."

Craig looked at Gertrude and his jaw slacked then back at Samantha and he had to work to keep it from hanging open. "Disintegrated, that dress?" He pointed at the sun dress Gertrude had put on the table next to her.

Gertrude quickly hid it on her lap as if by looking at it Craig was seeing her without it again.

"Right," Samantha said with a sigh. "We didn't want to tell you because I'm not supposed to have it and I could lose my job but I took something from work to test it."

"From the lab that you can't even talk to me about," Craig said.

"Yes, but well, now you know what it does so please don't tell anyone." Samantha began her story slowly talking faster and faster. "I was only paying my debt when that creep started robbing the bank and I thought I could make his gun disappear with the phaser, but instead I hit Gerty's dress and then the crazy man with the gun got really mad. You can't blame Gertrude. She saved everyone in that bank." By the end Samantha sounded panic stricken and frantic. Craig pushed his chair out and walked to Sammy to cradle her.

"I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't know."

Sammy winked so that only Gertrude could see and now it was Gertrude's turn to be shocked. She had seen Sammy handle people deftly before but this was something else. If Gertrude could manipulate people like that she would be the chief of police by now. Then again, she had manipulated the situation today even if unintentionally. Was doing something like that so wrong? It was no worse than what Sammy had just done.

"Sammy, sweetie," Craig soothed. "That is the strangest thing I have ever heard. You must have been scared out of your wits. And Gertrude, I'm sorry for what I said. I know you would never do anything like that on purpose. I just didn't know what to think."

Funny that he should say that when she was considering doing this on purpose. Gertrude was starting to feel like an intruder on the couple when her phone rang and she excused herself from the table. Saved by the, oh no. The caller ID read, Mother. Now this day couldn't get any worse. She stepped into her room and closed the door before answering and only answered because she knew by experience that it would be worse not to.

"Hi mum," she said as sweetly as she could.

"Hi my sweet little Gerty," her mom cooed back at her.

"Mum, I'm twenty-five years old. Almost a grumpy spinster. Nothing sweet or little about me." Gertrude tried really hard with mixed success to keep the bitterness and anger out of her voice.

"You'll always be my little baby Gerty," her mum answered.

"It's Gertrude, mum, please."

Her mum laughed softly in complete denial that her child could ever have any real problems like an adult. "Okay, Gertrude. I was calling to see if you applied for those jobs I sent you."

Oh the jobs! Gertrude grit her teeth. She had been so worried about her test that she hadn't even looked at the applications. "Oh, well I was going to get them filled out on the weekend so I could turn them in on Monday. You know, businesses only interview on weekdays."

"I gave you those three weeks ago," Her mother chided. "You signed up for the exam again didn't you?"

Gertrude winced. "Already took it," she admitted.

"And?"

"And I didn't get in."

"I told you. If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times that you are never going to make it into the police. It's not for you honey. You'd be much better off being a doctor, or a lawyer, or a teacher, or even an artist like me."

"I don't want to have this discussion again," Gertrude moaned. "Making money isn't enough, mum. I want to help people."

"Oh, and none of those other more respectable careers help people?"

"You know I can't just be a doctor, mum. It takes years of school and internship and..."

"Then go to school," her mother interrupted. "Get a degree. I'll pay for Uni if you'll go. If you had started years ago you could be done by now. Why you insist on this ridiculous fantasy is really beyond me. Do you know what I had to go through to provide for you, especially after your father died. I scraped by as a..."

"Scraped by as a hair stylist for years before you finally got your own art studio," Gertrude rattled off by rote. "I know."