Sweet Venom Arc

As though he had been watching and waiting, the moment Oxyi swallowed the last of their 'starter' the waiter zoomed over to their table. He carried a large tray high above his head, practically as big as the table.

Both Wex's and Oxyi's eyes widened. It was as if a bomber was flying overhead.

"Was everything okay for you?" He asked, placing their mains down and sweeping up the empty plates.

The sheer amount of meat laid in front of them was nothing short of an entire cow. Apparently, a single T-bone was considered a main for two people here - which explained the waiter's surprised look when Wex ordered one too. They had one each. Copious amounts of sides were provided along with the seared steak, forming a barrage of food fit to feed the Fang, nevermind just these two.

Considering Wex's stomach had already signalled to halt the festivities, this mountain of a meal was looking more and more insurmountable with each passing second.

Thankfully, Oxyi seemed less intimidated and was glancing around the table with an excited glimmer in her eye.

"Wow! This looks incredible! Thank you!" She grinned as the waiter turned and left once again, before grabbing her steak knife and making for the T-bone placed in front of her. Wex stared at her, then down at his own steak for a moment, before forcing his hands to do the same.

Oxyi happily dived into the food. Her face lit up with each chunk of steak she pushed into her mouth. When she said she was hungry, she apparently meant it.

For Wex, this meant keeping up with her the best he could. Matching her pace was impossible, not because she was particularly ferocious, but more because his stomach had moved from feeling uncomfortable, to feeling outright sick.

"A-Are you okay, Wex? You look a bit... erm, clammy?" Oxyi asked as her date picked at his food, leaning slightly towards him.

"N-No, I'm fine! Never better! It's just more food than I'm used to!"

"I haven't ordered too much, have I?" She began to look worried, but the captain jumped in straight away rather than letting her mind run away with the thought.

"No! Not at all! I'm just... pacing myself." Wex shrugged. "We've got dessert coming, after all."

"As long as you're okay." Oxyi nodded, going back to her food.

Beads of sweat started to drip down Wex's fringe and into his eyes. He wiped his forehead as subtly as he could as Oxyi glanced back up at him.

"So! I've got some more questions for you!" Oxyi grinned.

"What do you want to know?" Wex replied, a little more short than he'd intended to.

"What does the average day as a pirate captain look like? Are you off swashbuckling bad guys all the time? Stealing treasure, marking things with big red X's -"

"It's not as interesting as you'd think." Wex interrupted with an unconvincing laugh. "Honestly, it's a lot of admin and choices on the daily. Most stuff is sorted by making the right choices several months in advance."

"Awh, come on." Oxyi teased him. "You were raving about being a pirate earlier!"

"It's not like I dislike it, it's just that the day to day stuff is not really why I do it. It's the freedom and the outcomes."

"Oh... So it was a bit of a crap question then?" Oxyi sounded deflated, glancing around the table.

"Yeah. A bit. It would be like me asking you for a play by play of your dressing routine." The captain stopped and closed his eyes, wiping his forehead once more but more obviously this time. "Sorry. I didn't mean that. It was a reasonable question to ask. I'm... I'd like to know more about you. You've proven yourself to be pretty illusive over the last week. I was starting to think you're a honeypot operation!" He joked.

"A what?" Oxyi's face went blank.

"A honeypot..?"

"What's that?"

"O-Oh, it's when you use a beautiful woman, or man I suppose, to seduce someone of interest and get information from them. You did say you wanted to be a spy earlier!" Wex tried to laugh, but his joke clearly had not landed. The lioness' face twisted up.

"Yeah, but not by using my vagina!" She blurted out, far too loudly. "I'm not a prostitute with a gun!"

Oxyi looked around the restaurant to see most of the other customers looking, or pretending they weren't looking, at her. The two of them both reached for their napkins and dabbed their foreheads in unison.

"Sorry, Oxyi. I didn't mean to imply anything of the sort." Wex cleared his throat softly and tried to swallow another small bite of steak, which felt like a tank trap as it slid down his gullet. "For the record though, there's nothing wrong with doing that. In terms of skill. I don't approve of blackmail." Wex quickly clarified. "Or deception. So I guess there is something wrong with it. But not because the agent isn't skilled." He sighed in frustration. "You know what I mean."

Oxyi blinked. She looked somewhat lost. "Yeah."

"I just feel like I know nothing about you." Wex said. "You've spent the last few weeks literally living my life. I don't know where you come from, or anything about your crew, what sort of stuff you like to do!"

"I didn't think there'd be all that much interesting about me." Oxyi said. "I've known Geralt for years, his family's always been close with mine, everyone else though I met through Seeth and Diego... I didn't mean to keep things from you, your life is just so much more exciting than mine, y'know? You know so many different people, your crew are so varied, and kinda crazy. I wanted to find out about you." She smiled sheepishly.

"Well, if that's the case... Why have you spent the last week avoiding me?" Wex asked with an undertone of frustration. "I mean, did you even want to come here tonight? Did you even want to ask me out?"

"What?! Yes of course I did!" Oxyi replied quickly. She looked taken aback, and was no longer smiling.

"Then why did you avoid me afterwards? Do you have any idea how weird and awkward this last week's been for me?" He looked exacerbated.

"Hey, it's been weird for me too!" Oxyi found herself snapping back. "After I asked you and we realised the date wouldn't be for like another week... I panicked, okay?! I didn't know what to do! I felt really stupid asking you on a date and then hanging out with you for ages before going!"

"What? Why? We could've gotten to know each other!" Wex replied incredulously. "You weren't even going to the training sessions, to work-related stuff, you were eating by yourself! I really like you, Oxyi, I was... I was so happy you asked me. But then you disappeared like you wanted nothing to do with me! I thought I'd done something wrong, o-or misunderstood. Or hells, maybe even someone made you do it."

"Of course not! There was just too much pressure!" Oxyi hesitated. "I... I wanted to have the date first, I wanted to do things properly, you guys all... sleep together a lot and I was worried... that..." Oxyi could feel frustrated tears welling in her eyes; she'd been so anxious all day - week - for this?! Oxyi dragged her fingers down her face. "I... I didn't know what to do. What I was supposed to do. I was scared! So I... So I hid. I felt silly. I felt like people would laugh or judge us if we were together before the date... I don't know why I just... completely overthought everything."

"You want to know something about me? I really don't like being messed around." Wex was trying to calm down, but his clothes were pressing tight against his stomach and his hair was slick with sweat. His belly was stuffed with food, and it was making him disagreeable. "My crew - my friends - asking me how things were going between us for me to have to tell them I hadn't seen hide nor hair of you for days..."

"You felt like I was messing you around?" Oxyi asked quietly. She wanted to bite back at him - things had been going well! I mean yeah there was the whole thing with his dead parents buuuuut other than that...

"A little, yeah." Wex mumbled. "My lot said it was fine and you were just nervous, but I couldn't help feeling awful about it. I was stuck between thinking you were messing me around, or that I'd fucked it up somehow."

They slipped into silence. Oxyi's half-eaten steak didn't look quite so appetising now. Her stomach tightened, finally feeling the effects of the massive amount of food she'd eaten. She pushed her fork around the plate, but didn't eat any more. Wex didn't even try.

"Are we done, guys? I've got dessert ready to go!" The waiter suddenly materialised, only waiting for the briefest nod before whisking the mains away. He returned in record time with two enormous sundaes, topped with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles rising high into the air.

Oxyi managed to put a few spoonfuls away before admitting defeat, but Wex couldn't even bring himself to pick up the spoon. He looked like he was about to pop.

"Oh, and the bill!" The waiter was smiling genuinely for the first time that evening as he placed the little slip of paper onto the table before Wex. "We've automatically added a twenty-percent gratuity, but feel free to tip extra!"

Wex's eyes widened as they scanned down the bill. Oxyi noticed and then, for the first time that day, turned pale. She glanced over at the waiter, all but skipping back towards the kitchen, then back to Wex.

"I-Is it a lot?"

Wex cleared his throat. "It's fine, drop in the bucket, that's all." Big drop in a small bucket maybe...

I-I might have some money left over from shopping!" Oxyi went to reach for her purse - which was still in her rucksack, which she'd explicitly been forbidden to take with her on the date. "Awh fuck! I left my purse at home!"

"It's fine, Oxyi, I got it."

It's not fine! I'll have the T-bone steak, please! I left my purse at home! I promise I'm not messing you around!

"I can pay you some back when we get back to -"

"Oxyi, please?" Wex placed the bill back down, then rubbed his face with his hands. Oxyi looked worried. She fidgeted with her hands, not really sure what to do.

"Can I help?"

"No, no. I just -" He ran his hands through his hair, then sighed as they came to rest on the table. He wouldn't look at her. "I feel really hot, really full, and really fucking uncomfortable..."

He pulled out his wallet and paid the bill. Oxyi cringed away from the amount of money he left. "I just wanted to do the date first." She whispered. "I shouldn't have asked you so early, I should've waited... but I was so nervous to ask you, Wex. I... really like you too... And if I didn't ask you then, I don't think I ever would have..."

Wex stared at her for several long moments. Then, slowly, he pushed himself to his feet. Struggling slightly, he managed to pull his jacket on. Oxyi stood up with him, the moment she did her feet immediately started to protest. She wobbled and swayed, and her stomach rolled. She quickly put her hands on the table for support, but the sudden weight shifted the balance, rattling the towers of ice cream loudly and sending them toppling to the floor. The glass thankfully didn't shatter, but they did project lashings of cream straight into the air and all over Wex... And everyone saw.

"Awh fuck! Sorry!" Oxyi cried out, stumbling over to Wex with a handful of napkins, as did a barrage of waiters. Wex quickly flapped them all away, glanced around the restaurant and ducked his head, beckoning Oxyi towards the door.

"Let's just... go home."

I think I've fucked this up...

He walked just behind her as they left, hiding her from the prying eyes of the other restaurant goers. He pushed the door open for her.

They started the long waddle home... and didn't get far. After about five minutes they had to stop and both collapsed against a park bench. Wex glanced back and winced as he realised they could still see the restaurant. At this rate, the sun would be up before they made it back to the ships.

He had never felt more disgusting in his entire life. He had a really bad case of the meat sweats going, it was so bad the collar of his shirt was damp. He could smell himself and it was gross, a horrific sweaty combination of anxiety and far too much food, and it was so strong that he was certain Oxyi must've been able to smell it as well. His fringe and coat were sticky with cream, matting his usually spotless hair. He spread his legs out and unbuttoned his jacket, letting it flap at his sides as his body tried to find space for oxygen. After a moment, he gave in to the disgust he was feeling and unbuckled the belt on his trousers, sighing softly in relief as he did so.

"Ooooh, kinky!" Oxyi giggled hysterically from the other end of the bench. She felt just as bloated and sweaty as Wex did, and her feet were absolutely killing, but her mouth was still anxiously yapping away. Her eyes darted from his beltless crotch to his face, and felt her face go cold as he stared at her with a 'please just shut the fuck up' expression on his face. She turned away.

She stared out across the park instead. A ways away from them, she noticed another couple. They were making out on another park bench, underneath one of the street lamps. While they weren't... indecent, the couple were all over one another, as one pulled the other into their lap and continued their passionate kiss. Oxyi felt her stomach grumble and roll and ache at just the thought of executing such a manoeuvre in her current bloated state.

"Wow, I cannot think of doing anything worse right now." Someone said, out loud, then froze and gripped the sides of the bench. Wex followed Oxyi's gaze, noticed what she was talking about, then slowly turned back towards her. Oxyi didn't have to look up at him to know he was shooting her that 'shut the fuck up' look again. If she had looked though, she would've also seen the slight hint of hurt in his eyes, even though he knew what she was talking about... right? He glanced down at himself, self-consciously, and quickly tidied himself back up, even though his belly greatly protested as he re-tightening his belt.

"Let's, uh, carry on our way, shall we?" He said, standing. "If we want to be home before morning."

"Okay." Oxyi murmured.

Wex didn't offer her his hand this time. She winced as she got to her feet. The rest of the way, they walked in silence.

*

The walk back took them significantly longer than the walk out. It was close to an hour before they were finally greeted by the Fang's silhouette - and it was a welcome sight indeed.

The walk, however, had actually helped the both of them. They were still quiet, but their stomachs were feeling much less bloated and uncomfortable now.

Wex actually seemed in good spirits now, or at least better ones, now that they were back. Either way, Oxyi was relieved. She expected him to leave her there, but instead he gestured towards the Minitaur, and he walked just behind Oxyi as she led the way towards the ship's sleeping quarters. Her heart quickened slightly, as her mind began to wander, and wonder. But deep down she knew nothing was going to happen. Wex still hadn't said anything to her. He was just being polite, making sure his date got home safely.

His date... She couldn't imagine he'd ever call her that again. Her heart sank a tiny bit more with every step they took. All too soon, they'd reached Oxyi's room.

"Well, this is me!" She tried to sound positive, but she barely produced more than a mumble. The last hour's silence sat heavily on her tongue. She hovered uncertainly outside the bedroom door, standing stiff as a board. "Umm..." finally, she thrust out her hand towards Wex, as though in an attempt to shake, but what actually happened is that she thrust her arm out at an awkward, robotic ninety-degree angle. "Thanks for uh, taking me out." She tried to smile, but it came out more of a grimace, like she was trying to hold back a burp.

Wex glanced down at her hand, then back at her face quizzically. He seemed confused, maybe with her, maybe with himself. He hadn't decided. After a few seconds, she dropped her hand. She continued to hover, fiddling with her wrists, practically vibrating on the spot in the tension. She wasn't sure what to do next, when -

"You are such an enigma, Oxyi!"

Wex started to laugh. He clutched his stomach as the laughter rolled through his belly. "What the fuck was that?!"

"Wha-What do you mean?" Oxyi replied defensively, but she was fighting her own smile. His laughter was infectious.

"The way you just stood there, like you'd just fucking wet yourself!" Wex leaned against the wall, trying to breathe as he wiped his eyes.

"At least I did something!" Oxyi snapped back playfully. "You just stood there like a right bellend! You'd probably still be standing there tomorrow if I'd gone inside."

"Ha! You know, I don't even know if that's wrong... Oh god I've made a mess of this whole thing, haven't I." Wex sighed, but his smile was hesitant to leave his face. "I'm not like a bellend, I am one. I'm so sorry, Oxyi. I shouldn't have lost my cool at you like that. There's no excuse for how I behaved."

Oxyi stared down at the floor. "You were perfect." She murmured. "I... I'm sorry, Wex."

He glanced down at her. She looked so distraught. There were sauce stains all down her dress, and her makeup was smudged. Her hair had started to frizz and wild out from the tidy curls she'd started the evening with.

And yet, his heart fluttered when she glanced back up at him.

"Maybe next time we should eat before we go out." Wex chuckled lightly. "Go to a bar or an arcade or something, do some activities instead of just sitting around. I feel like you'd enjoy axe throwing. I don't think either of us were in our element tonight."

"Next time?" Oxyi couldn't hide her surprise. "You... want there to be a next time?"

Wex blinked. "I..." The words had just sort of slipped out, he hadn't even realised what he'd said. But as he mulled the words over now, his stomach tingled with little butterflies. "I think I do." His surprise wasn't as obvious as Oxyi's, but it was there. He smiled. "Look, as far as first dates go -"

"- This was a disaster." Oxyi finished, but she was smiling through her embarrassment.

"BUT - I've had worse dates. Much worse." Wex grinned.

"Really?" Oxyi raised an eyebrow. "Forgive me if I don't quite believe that."

"Maybe I'll tell you about them sometime. Get me drunk enough and I'll share all my dirty secrets." Wex winked at her, then blushed gently. Oxyi blushed with him and glanced away, tucking her loose curls back behind her ear.

"There's something about you, Oxyi." Wex murmured. He reached up and gently moved her hair back, all fluffed and messy. "I can't explain it. I've made a living out of being charismatic and confident. Being around you, all of it goes out the window. I feel like a teenager again, asking my crush to prom."

"I'm sorry." Oxyi sighed. "My nerves are infectious."

"Don't be sorry for being yourself, Oxyi." Wex smiled. His hand was still hovering around her hair. "It's... kinda nice. It's different. And you weren't the only one that was nervous." He shook his head in gentle disbelief. "Oh, and for the record, you're more interesting than you think. Stop putting yourself down." His hand drifted away, and Oxyi felt her heart drop slightly, but then he took her hand in his, and brought it to his lips. "Don't avoid me for a week this time before coming to speak to me again." He said softly as he returned her hand to her side.

"O-Okay." Oxyi stammered, her heart pounding, her knuckles tingling like they were electrified where he had kissed them.

"Well, I should go, leave you be before I inevitably embarrass myself again." Wex quickly tidied himself, pulling on the collar of his coat and straightening himself out. "Goodnight, Oxyi."

"G-Goodnight, Wex..."

She had no idea how long she stood there, praying for him to come back. But then she'd found herself sagged on her bed, so she must have moved at some point. She sat there, face in her hands as she watched him leave in her mind's eye, the way his coat had swished back round the corner, and out of sight. She kept replaying it in her mind. It all felt a bit like a fever dream now, had any of it really happened? Judging from how sweaty she was, and how much her feet were aching from those horrible shoes digging into them for the last few hours, she'd say yes, it probably had happened... She sighed, kicked off said shoes and pulled her dress off over her head, with no regard for her hair or makeup now, and then unclasped her bra. No amount of shame and embarrassment could stifle her sigh of relief as she pulled it all off. After that, she bundled herself up in her duvet. It was warm, soft, and comforting. The feeling of its gentle embrace wrapped around her shoulders broke her in mere moments. Tears pricked in her eyes, and she buried her face in her hands.