The Side Project

Chapter 30: Kyle

Chapter 30: Kyle

The Gospel

The Gospel

Author's Note: I'll be honest with you all. I was little disappointed by how 29 performed. I thought you guys would dig it. Candidly I'm a little worried about posting this now, but we're committed to this little Side Project, so on we roll. Kyle's reaction at the end is exactly how I reacted when I read this chapter.

Allie returned from her garage with some flashlights and a pair of binoculars, then led us out her front door. We followed her street for perhaps a ten minute walk before she and Lauren briefly conferred, then guided us down a dirt path that cut between two homes into some woods.

Once we were in the woods we agreed we needed the flashlights to see where we were going, though we tried to partially shield them with our hands in order to avoid attracting attention. I wasn't sure quite how far we were from the clubhouse but it seemed logical to avoid detection if possible.

"This reminds me of Boy Scouts," I commented.

"You were inBoy Scouts?" Lexi asked, surprised.

"Yeah, Eagle Scout, actually," I told her.

"Wait, isn't Boy Scouts about tying knots and camping and shit, not sneaking around in the woods?" Jackie asked.

"Heh, let's just say my troop was a little different. We snuck out of camp once to go to a bar," I told the group.

"How'd that work out for you?" Brandi asked, intrigued.

"Well, we were 17 and didn't have fake IDs...so poorly," I admitted.

"I still admire the effort!" Allie said and the group chuckled.

We swapped some stories of teen misadventures as we continued our trek. None of us were dressed for sneaking around in the woods, but Brandi was probably the least appropriately dressed in a tight cocktail dress and high heels. Rose had suggested she just go barefoot, but Brandi insisted she was an expert at walking in heels. Predictably, less than a minute into our woodland adventure she stumbled and fell. Luckily she landed on a leaf-covered patch of soft ground.

As Brandi flailed her dress hiked up and when she landed it was above her waist, exposing her butt, covered only by a white thong.

"I did forecast a full moon for tonight," Lauren quipped, drawing laughs from the group. I hadn't talked with Lauren much at the party, but I immediately liked her sense of humor. Jackie and Rose helped their friend up, and she finally agreed to go barefoot.

Soon we began to hear the sounds of a large group of people talking and started to notice glimpses of a bonfire through the trees. We left the path and began to carefully move towards the edge of the woods. We realized that with the bright light of the fire on the other side of the field there was no real danger of anyone noticing us in the shadows a hundred yards away.

It was hard to make out details, but I could tell there was some kind of small bleacher set up, which most of the people were standing on. Facing them were a few people in all white. The bonfire was behind the people in the white uniforms, between us and the small crowd. There was a large chunk of meat roasting on a spit above the fire. I thought it was probably a rack of beef.

The people in white seemed to shout orders, apparently calling the group to attention. Lexi shushed us as we settled in so that we could try to hear the chants more clearly. Allie brought the binoculars to her eyes to get a better look.

The chants started off pretty innocuous, silly call and responses. We couldn't really hear what the people in white, clearly the orchestrators, were yelling since they were facing away from us. We could hear the bellowed answers just fine though. There were plenty of 'Aggies', some 'Alphas', and promises to beat the hell out of Ole Miss.

Allie offered the binoculars to Lexi to check things out. "How utterly fucking bizarre," Lexi said as she quietly observed the scene.

The cadence of the chanting changed. It sounded like the leaders were asking a question. I thought it was something like 'How are Alphas?' The bellowed response was:

"Assertive.

Loyal.

Providers.

Honorable.

Action taking."

There was another query. I was pretty sure this was something about respect. I guessed maybe why they thought they should be respected based on the yelled response:

"Authority.

Leadership.

Powerful.

Hard.

Aggressive."

"Do y'all think this is what watching a cult feels like?" Rose asked. She was only half joking.

"I don't know, I sort of feel like a real cult wouldn't have so much confusion between nouns and adjectives in their chants," Lexi the nerd remarked wryly, which drew some chuckles.

Lexi offered me the binoculars, which made it my turn to get a closer look at the scene. This bizarre rally was taking place on a grassy area between the patio at the rear of the clubhouse and the football field. I noted the field was carefully painted with sidelines and yardage markers. The bonfire was in a large fire pit near the sideline, then there was a set of metal bleachers overlooking the field. There were five leaders - it was obvious the all white clothing I had noted were uniforms.. I also noticed they gesticulated aggressively, as if trying to draw the cheers out of the crowd, or make the chanting louder. In addition to the all-white uniforms, I noted each was wearing brown leather knee-length boots. As I suspected, they were all men.

What I had not been able to see without the binoculars was that all of the people standing on the bleachers bellowing out the responses were also in uniform. They wore maroon colored tunics with grey pants and similar brown leather knee high boots. I guessed there were about 50 men in total. The high and tight haircuts predominated with minimal variety.

Behind the men were a smaller number of women, perhaps 20. Each wore a white sundress. I scanned the faces and picked out Cara. She looked bored, annoyed and like she was freezing her ass off. Some of the other women were definitely into it though, cheering nearly as lustily as their male counterparts based on what I could see.

I passed the binoculars off to Rose wordlessly, unsure how to describe what I had just observed. I recalled Lexi's words from the cocktail hour - these were truly some strange people.

"What the actual fuck?" Rose said quietly before handing the binos off to Jackie. Before anyone could respond the sounds picked up again. This time it was singing rather than chanting. It sounded like something about canucks.

"Why are they singing about Canada? Are they planning an invasion?" Brandi asked sarcastically.

"It's not canuck, it's caneck. As far as I know it's a nonsense word but it's gospel on campus," Lauren explained. "This song is the Aggie War Hymn."

We listened as the Alphas belted out the song. The lyrics barely made sense to me, but as best I could tell they had a lot of unresolved daddy issues about the University of Texas. I briefly thought of our new friend Marissa and sort of wished she could be here to witness this. We continued to pass the binoculars around so everyone got a chance to check things out.

Next the unmistakable words of theStar Spangled Bannerrang out. I wondered if that might be the finale. I probably should have known better.

"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord," belted out the Alphas as they launched into a version ofBattle Hymn of the Republic.

"He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored

He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword

His truth is marching on."

They continued through the song, but towards the end the lyrics took a turn I found a bit chilling.

"We have sounded forth the trumpet that shall never call retreat

We are gaining the hearts of men before our judgment-seat

Oh, be swift, my soul to Alphas, be jubilant, my feet

Our truth is marching on

Glory, glory, hallelujah

Glory, glory, Kappa Alpha

Glory, glory, Kappa Alpha

Our truth is marching on

Our truth is marching on"

"Aren't the real lyrics 'his truth' not 'our truth'?" Lexi asked.

"Yep," I confirmed. "These guys are fucking ridiculous."

Next up we heard renditions of the Confederate marching songsDixieandBonnie Blue Flag. Some of the others didn't recognize the tunes so I explained the origins although, as Rose noted, the lyric 'Hurrah, hurrah, for southern rights and law' sent a pretty clear message regardless.

Next up wasYellow Rose of Texaswhich was sung more reverently than the marching tunes. The binoculars had made their way back around to Rose by this point and she began commentating what was going on.

"It looks like the women are being sent inside. No, they're all returning now. Looks like they're carrying trays of beer. It looks like they're distributing them so every guy gets a cup."

We heard an indistinct prompt from the leaders, but the response was loud and clear:

"Always.

Late.

Party.

Hearty.

Alphas!"

"They all started chugging their beers as soon as they said the last part. Jesus some of these dudes are fast. Oh it looks like they're calling one out, I think he might have been the last one to finish or something," Rose continued to give us the blow-by-blow.

I could see one of the uniformed Alphas emerge from the crowd.

"Oh my gosh, it's Tanner," Rose said.

"Oh lord," moaned Lauren.

There was a small back and forth between Tanner and the leaders we couldn't make out, then the man began to disrobe.

"Oh, um um, I'm sorry Lauren I shouldn't have looked, it's pretty chilly," Rose said and handed the binoculars to the weather girl.

Lauren took the binoculars from Rose and examined the scene.

"Unfortunately, seeing is believing in this case," Lauren said with a hint of disdain. "He's not the biggest."

I could make out the naked man bouncing around as the Alphas began to sing theHokey Pokeywith gusto as Tanner danced around accordingly.

Things seemed to begin to break up after the song, signaling the end of yell practice. Our group moved back into the forest and began the walk home.

Rose and I were leading the way. I was turning over the comedy of what I'd just seen. I couldn't help but smile at the absurdity. I glanced over at Rose and she met my gaze. Her brown eyes twinkled with mischief.

It started as a small chuckle, but it escalated. Neither of us could hold back. Powerful, stomach rippling laughter roared out of us. We couldn't help it. I was laughing so hard I had to stop and double over. Rose was crying she was laughing so hard.

It was infectious. Jackie and Brandi caught up to us. One look and they broke too.

"Stop, stop, we have to stop," I wheezed. We were so loud I was worried we'd attract unwanted attention. Gradually we calmed down enough to proceed but we still couldn't help the occasional giggle. I had just witnessed one of the most surreal things humanity had to offer.