Why Did It Have to Be Me

Susan and Charlene have had their first encounter but Susan is unsure and is also still questioning her sexuality. However, she hasn't been put off by apparent failure to launch. Part Three bounces between Australia 2001 and London 2024. Author's note: Arvo is short for afternoon, a doona is a duvet.

Wandsworth London 12 November, 08:00

Susan touched an icon on her phone and it started ringing and her eyes shifted to the smaller screen showing Taylor waiting on the other end of the line for Sierra to pick up. Her girlfriend, Louise had gone to Aldi to get a few things for dinner. Taylor and Louise both worked from home as call centre operators for the same company. Sierra's face appeared on the screen a few moments later, she had a white wall behind her and was on a hotel bed. The screen froze and Susan thought the connection had dropped and then Sierra waved and smiled.

"Hiya mum, hiya sis, hiya other mum," she waved at Sarah, "what time is it over there?"

"Eight in the morning."

"Three in the arvo here, we've just come back from a battlefield tour at Cu Chi, the connection here can be a bit flaky at times but I think we're okay."

"Yeah, you froze for a few seconds," Susan replied, "but how was the tour?"

"How was it?"

"Eye opening and we shot machine guns, Mackie was the best shot," she glanced up as Mackenzie settled down beside her and waved at the camera.

"Hiya everybody."

"Mackie," Susan grinned, "nice to see you again."

"Why aren't you wearing a jumper and coat, it's freezing over there, I checked the weather, you can do that these days with an app," she ran a hand through her hair.

"I know, we can even have video conference calls and share pictures."

"Oh, I didn't know that," Mackenzie smiled, "what'll they think of next, satnav?"

"Who, knows? But the heating in the hotel is beautiful, Sierra was just saying you were firing guns today."

"I did, I shot a, what was the big one I shot?" Mackenzie looked at her.

"The AK47?"

"No, it had a bullet belt thingy."

"The M60," Sierra replied, "that one was so fucking loud and we were wearing ear protectors," she paused, "wasn't our biological father's father in Vietnam too?"

"Yeah," Susan replied, "I never met him but apparently so, I think he was flying choppers but Al's father and one of his brothers were there."

"Yeah, we're going to the Long Tan memorial, wasn't grandpa David there?"

"He wasn't at the battle, he was on a training exercise at the time but he was in the same regiment so he was allowed to be at the annual commemoration."

"Cool, we're going there tomorrow, but I wanted to make sure."

"I'm going to go for a shower," Mackenzie spoke up, "so I'll say goodbye."

"Bye Mackie," Susan smiled.

"So, how was it with Janis?" Sierra asked a few moments later.

"It was good," she replied.

"Mum," Taylor smiled, "you can't say it was good and leave it, I want to know everything, I only spoke to her once over the phone when you went to the dunny."

"Too right," Sierra chimed in, "give us the oil."

Susan told them about the previous day and then leaned back and frowned.

"And that was it, we're meeting up with Janis so I don't want to be on the phone too long, but she seems really nice."

"Where are you meeting her?"

"The British Museum, she's going to take us on a guided tour for a few hours and then we're going for a late lunch and after that I think we're going back to her place for dinner. She wants to spend a little more time with us than she did yesterday but we were seeing her mum too so she wants us all to herself for a day, apparently."

"How do you feel about that?" Sierra asked.

"Okay to be honest, it's kind of cathartic talking to her sister. I can say things without feeling as if I'm betraying a confidence, although Sarah knows a lot about her for obvious reasons and you two have heard a bit over the years too."

"It was hard to know what to say to her that one time I spoke to her," Taylor replied, "Charlene was dying and I was trying to avoid the obvious, I probably came across as shallow."

"Not at all, she loved talking to you and she's always asked about you two but Charlene used to say she was manipulative. People evolve though and she confirmed her mother refused to acknowledge all her ex's crimes, but Janis won't raise the subject," she nudged her glasses.

"She said yesterday that her mum was too old to argue with these days."

"I get that," Sierra spoke up, "but it's amazing how some people can be so blind, considering she was so cooperative with the police from what I've read lately."

"I know, but some of that could just be self preservation."

"So where are you off to?" Taylor broke in.

"The British Museum."

"I'm so jealous, I could've spent a whole week there when you took us."

"Me too," Sierra chimed in, "we need to do that again one day, have another family holiday where we go somewhere exotic."

"That's a good idea, we'll talk about it when we get back but it won't be until next year, this trip has wiped out any more overseas holidays until next year."

They talked until Louise came home with the shopping and then said their goodbyes.

"I miss them already and it's only been a day or so," Susan leaned back against the bedhead.

"Me too," Sarah rolled over onto her side and propped her head on her palm, "so, what's the plan, ma'am? How are we getting to the museum?"

"Just wait a minute or ten," she brought up her map of the tube on the laptop and studied it for a few seconds and then looked up.

"Train to Clapham Junction, change to the Overground, change at West Brompton for the District line to Earls Court where we change to the Piccadilly Line and get off at Russell Square."

"How long will that take?"

"Let me ask the great god Google," she started tapping the keyboard.

"Thirty seven to forty minutes, I'll text Janis now to let her know we'll meet her there at nine."

However instead of texting back, Janis rang her instead.

"Janis," she smiled.

"I was going to reply to the text but I'm too old school, I prefer phone calls and face to face, texting is a bit like going to the dentist, necessary but usually unpleasant."

"I understand, Sarah's a bit like that when it comes to streaming services like Prime and Netflix and Spotify, she likes the feel of DVDs and CDs instead."

"Oh don't get me started on that subject, I've gone right back to vinyl now but getting back onto the museum, it's a huge place so if you want to go back tomorrow and explore some more then I could come again. I'm still on sick leave by the way but our cousin Tony wants to catch up with us today at some point but I said I had to check with you first. He wants to take us out to dinner at the Savoy later. His partner, Nico is a chef there, Tony was devastated when he found out she was dying and he wanted to see her but couldn't get time off."

"That's a shame, hang on a moment," she lowered the phone.

"Janis wants us to meet her cousin, Tony this arvo, he's taking us to the Savoy for dinner later on, his shout."

"Ooh, I'll be in that, thank you."

"Cool," she raised the phone again and smiled, "sorry, just had to check with my other half and yes, we'd love to meet him and his parter."

"Good, I think you'll all get along well, he's so easygoing unlike Michael."

"Your brother," Susan replied.

"Yes, he's my brother but seeing Michael is kind of like having a mammogram and a cervical swab at the same time, he'll be down the day after tomorrow but if you don't want to see him it's cool, he tends to spend most of his time with mum anyway. He's mummy's little boy who can do no wrong even when his hand is in the biscuit jar. He's on his third marriage and a little birdy told me that it's going down the toilet faster than a Russian oligarch out of a window."

"Ouch," she nudged her glasses, "okay, we'll see you at ten outside the museum?"

"Yeah, see you then."

~*~

Penny's house Friday night, 17 August.

The knee-length A-line skirt she was wearing now was similar to the one Robyn had worn recently, the hem was decorated with four coloured ribbons sewn into it. A strip of white lace was sewn into the bottom of the hem. On Robyn's skirt the buttons and zip were at the side but on hers the buttons and zip were at the front. Another addition was a fabric belt made of the same material as the skirt, the belt had metallic ringlets and a square black buckle. She'd also added two front pockets, which was yet another variation.

The skirt was matched with a cream-coloured satin polyester double-breasted blouse, one of four last minute orders over the phone. The rows of buttons were set fifty centimetres apart and the cuffs ended in three-button closures. The other two double-breasted blouses were on the table behind her along with her other orders. She'd already known what the blouses would look like but the mystery item was a tan cardigan. She hadn't given Robyn much description, just that she wanted to try out a cardigan and they'd certainly come through with a very thin woollen cardigan made on one of the knitting machines up here.

She turned to look at her profile as Robyn spoke up.

"What do you think?"

"It's beautiful, I love that the buttons match the coloured strips and the pink zip is nice."

"Good, I thought the pockets were a nice addition," she pulled herself up and sat on the cutting table in the centre of the room, "and the blouse?"

"It's very elegant, I'll wear one to work tomorrow, but you've started a trend now. As soon as mum sees it she'll be up to order some for herself."

"No worries," she grinned, "so, Kylie tells me you went to the sex shop with Charlene?"

"Yeah," she turned around, "it was a day of surprises, I didn't think she worked there and then there was the other surprise."

"What other surprise?"

Susan walked to the table and touched a blouse.

"We nearly did it afterwards."

"What stopped you?"

"My mother called."

"Ah," she grinned, "that'll do it."

Susan told her about the afternoon and Robyn listened. Penny came up halfway through with coffee and some biscuits and stayed to hear the rest and so she had to go back and fill in the blanks.

"Wow, it's almost like what happened to you," Penny glanced at Robyn.

"Pretty much," she smiled, "the phone tends to ring at the most inconvenient time, like when you're halfway through the orgasm from heaven."

"Oddly enough, I don't have any real regrets about it, well apart from a bit of guilt about Grant but I don't feel like I've shamed God or committed a sin."

"That may have something to do with your family and your living situation. The only problem that I had was with mum and that was stifled by dad who defended me, but I live with two non Christian women too and still have church friends," she sipped her coffee.

"Well, mum and Al are both atheists and so is my sister and brother in law, so there is that."

"Another thing might be the what the fuck factor," and in answer to her furrowed brow she went on to explain.

"It's what happens when you decide to break out of a routine that has become boring or restrictive and do something different. I was partly in that category, the other was the feeling I'd been living a lie. I didn't believe in creation, the flood or even the miracles of Jesus. It's the thing the churches try so hard to avoid, the credibility problem."

"I'm with you there," she touched her glasses, "Grant has been going to a baptist church at night for the last few months and I went one night and was like what have these people been drinking?"

Robyn giggled and then had another sip of coffee.

"The point is, you're evolving," Penny spoke up.

"It's something we all do, Christian, non Christian, young, middle aged, and old, we're changing if everything's working properly. I was the kind of woman who picked up one night stands at clubs for a few years and then I changed and became a hermit and now I'm with someone."

Susan had some coffee as she ran an eye over her most recent order, it was number four. Another six blouses, one of which was a pink version of the white ruffled blouse she'd bought recently. A dress, two pairs of jeans, one pair of trousers and a houndstooth tailored jacket with black lapels and cuffs. The jacket held her eye for a few more moments.

"I think that might be it," she smirked, "hate to admit it but Christians evolve too but what do I do now? Have another go at it or put it down to experience?"

"A friend of mine called it unfinished business when you don't go all the way," Robyn replied.

"Unfinished business," she touched her glasses, "yeah, that's a good way to put it, I feel as if it's an intermission or in legal jargon, a recess while the jury retires to consider a verdict."

"Good and remember she's not the only one, there are plenty more out there, it's one thing I wasn't entirely comfortable with at first even though it was obvious," Robyn paused.

"I had this idea from church that you married the first person you had sex with, and it took awhile to get used to the concept of trial runs. We wouldn't buy a car without a test drive so why should sex be any different?"

"I know, I look at some women in church who've been married a few years and can't imagine that they would've stayed virgins until their wedding night."

"Exactly," Penny cocked her head to one side, "fancy staying for dinner?"

"Um, sure, okay but I have to call mum first."

"Use the sewing room phone," Penny smiled at her at Robyn and left the room.

~*~

The Tunnel, Saturday night 18 August 2001

The last time Susan had been in a nightclub it was on her eighteenth. After her party at a scout hall hired by her mother, she went with her friends to the Croydon hotel and danced her feet off. At the time it was fun but she got tired of guys hitting on her and her friends, any single woman was fair game. There had been times since when she'd nearly gone to a club but cancelled at the last minute, because she was too tired. The city clubs were even more extreme with a reputation for drugs and violence. Some of Alastair's colleagues worked the city beat and thought it was just an asylum on steroids. He'd warned her that night to watch her drinks.

"I know she's your friend but you can't be on your toes all night. Watch your drinks, if you go for a piss buy a fresh drink when you come back and don't go anywhere on your own."

The club Charlene chose was The Tunnel in Little Bourke Street, just off King Street. The clientèle were a mixture of straights, gays and probably a few bisexuals. Two women at the next table were French kissing like they were going to ban it tomorrow and there were five guys at the table on the other side. They'd loudly announced to all and sundry that they were Healesville boys. They'd just picked up two attractive blondes, one had short hair and the other had straight hair that fell to the small of her back, the 'lucky' two were now getting free drinks. Prior to that however they'd hit on them first and didn't blink when Charlene told them that she was gay.

"That's fine miss, anything with a hole, how's about a threesome or we can watch?"

"Sorry, three's a crowd," Charlene rolled her eyes.

Charlene found the presence of the two blondes hilarious when she came back with two drinks, a lemon squash for herself and a wine for Susan.

"You watch," Charlene shouted in her ear, "they'll make some excuse about going to the toilet and then piss off."

"How do you know?" Susan shouted back in her ear.

"Because I used to go out with the one with short hair before she got hooked up with that one," she nodded at the woman with long hair.

"Evie is bisexual but Pauline is definitely gay, she's got a thirst to rival a room full of sailors, she'd drink a dozen pubs dry, so she'll say she's straight tonight."

They drank their round and then she tried to buy the next round but Charlene insisted on paying for all her drinks that night.

"Don't worry," she raised her voice a couple of decibels to compete with the music, "you'll get your turn to buy me drinks another night, but tonight it's my shout."

She shrugged and smiled blandly as Charlene rose and weaved between tables and then patrons who had formed a three deep line at the bar. It was going to take some time and she cast her eyes around the club trying to blend in with the rest of the women there. She wasn't sure if her outfit helped her stay relatively unnoticed or made her stand out instead.

After a bit of contemplation and several changes of clothes she chose a black cotton pinafore with a bib front held in place with straps and buttons, it had a button and zip at the waistband and was also cinched with a fabric belt made of the same material. The hem stopped five inches above her knees and the sides were open as well. Under it she had a white ruffled blouse with three rows of ruffles on each side of the placket, the blouse was decorated with a gold star-shaped brooch. A black jacket finished the outfit off. Charlene wore a white silk blouse, a black leather tie and leather trousers with a matching belt.

Susan nudged her glasses and fixed her gaze on a football jumper behind a glass cabinet attached to the wall, the black and white stripes indicated that the owner was a Collingwood supporter. She was so engrossed in the jumper because it was an inanimate object that she didn't notice the man in front of her until he sat down. He was wearing a white short sleeved shirt tucked into black jeans, his skin colouring and black hair suggested South Asian ethnicity.

"I am Rajesh," he smiled at her.

"Huh?"

"Rajesh, Raj. You are most beautiful girl I have ever seen, a goddess."

"Oh, thanks," she smiled wanly.

"You want drink?"

"No thanks," she shook her head.

"I have money, lots of money," he took out his wallet to show a stack of hundred dollar bills, "you want drink, I pay. Beautiful drink for beautiful girl?"

She was just about to reply when a woman with long auburn hair stepped up to the table and nodded at her, she was wearing a red cocktail dress and Susan had the distinct impression she was checking her out. A moment later she looked disdainfully at Raj and then back at Susan, she had a distinctive Scottish accent when she spoke.

"Is he bugging you?"

"Um, kind of," she touched her glasses nervously.

The woman turned and flicked her hand at him.

"Fuck off, pal. Go on, fuck off."

"I have money, you want drink?"

She leaned over and grabbing the wallet, tossed it behind him. He instinctively rose and turned to retrieve it and she pulled his chair away and sat down next to Susan. He grabbed his wallet and then turned back to them. She motioned for him to leave and a moment or two later one of the guys who was at the other table stood up and walked around the table towards him, Raj suddenly decided that retreat was the best policy and turned and walked away.

"He's been flashing his cash at every woman in the club, you're just one in a long line, I'm Kerry," she held out her hand, "Sinclair."

"Susan Goode, thanks," she hesitated, "you're Scottish?"

"Glasgow, born and bred, but you're a local."

"I guess so," she glanced over her shoulder at Raj who'd moved to the edge of the dance floor and was rotating his hips and trying to do some kind of weird '70s disco dance.

"I didn't know what to do when he took out his wallet," she turned back to her.

They shook hands and the man who'd been about to come to their rescue stopped at their table.

"You all right, luv?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, thanks anyway," she shouted back above the music.

"Sweet, but if he comes near you again let me know," he closed his fist and hit his palm, "I'll give him a Healesville sanger."