Your Day in the Barrel

Your Day in the Barrel

A Seamen's Tale

by Marty Z. Abell

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All parts of this series are licensed under Creative Commons CC0/CC1. You are free to share and to remix.

All characters are over 18.

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VOLUME I:

THE ROARING TWENTY

Soon the day will come when science will win victory over error, justice a victory over injustice, and human love a victory over human hatred and ignorance.

- Magnus Hirschfeld

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Dramatis Personae of Volume I

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Alan Haynes

Occupation: First mate - Triton

Age: 44

Hometown: Chicago, Illinois, US

Chapters: 01, 02, 03, 04, 06, 07, 08, 10, 11, 12, 13, 16, 19, 20

Once scared away a shark with a single finger, though he rarely mentions it was in a tank in a pet store.

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Alberto Capili

Occupation: Launderer - Triton

Age: 33

Hometown: Manila, Philippines

Chapters: 16, 20

Grew up in an orphanage. Was always the main character in the stage play the orphans did in the cafeteria every year.

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Bastien Basset

Occupation: Docker (Cadet) - Triton

Age: 21

Hometown: Marseille, France

Chapters: 01, 02, 03, 04, 06, 11, 12, 18, 19, 20

A noted admirer of the emerging jazz scene; has a gramophone in his cabin.

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Bernd Glässner

Occupation: Boiler engineering assistant (Cadet) - Triton

Age: 30

Hometown: Hamburg, Germany

Chapters: 15, 17, 19, 20

Thought that people who lived south of the Equator had to stand on their heads - until he crossed the Equator a few years ago, which he will brag about for the rest of his life.

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Bjørn Olufsen

Occupation: Shipyard foreman - Delfzijl, Netherlands (Former: freighter captain)

Age: 45

Hometown: Hammerfest, Norway

Chapters: 05, 06, 11, 12, 14

Used to be an appliance repairman, but couldn't always fit in the other people's houses.

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John Blackheart

Occupation: Captain - Triton

Age: 56

Hometown: Whitby, England, UK

Chapters: 11, 14, 15, 20

In complete defiance to expectations of human consciousness, likes mushy peas.

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Calum Barclay

Occupation: Docker - Triton

Age: 40

Hometown: Linlithgow, Scotland, UK

Chapters: 06, 11, 12, 19

Has attended every Scotland-wide caber-tossing final he has ever been home for. He is a good spectator.

Fraternal twin brother of Hamish.

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David Eddy

Occupation: Doctor and chief medical officer - Triton

Age: 50

Hometown: Toledo, Ohio, US

Chapters: 07, 08, 19, 20

Does not know how to snap his fingers. Every attempt just results in him squeezing and pinching them.

Life partner of Harold.

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George Yarworth

Occupation: Hydraulic engineer - Triton

Age: 37

Hometown: Oxford, England, UK

Chapters: 06, 10, 18, 19, 20

Has worked night shifts almost all his life. The last time he was awake and active at noon was in secondary school.

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Hamish Barclay

Occupation: Docker - Triton

Age: 40

Hometown: Linlithgow, Scotland, UK

Chapters: 06, 14, 15, 19, 20

Keenly interested in Egyptology. Maintains that Howard Carter opening that tomb was a verrrrry bad idea.

Fraternal twin brother of Calum.

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Harold Zebatinsky

Occupation: Mechanical and electrical engineer - Triton

Age: 55

Hometown: Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada

Chapters: 08, 20

Served on an Arctic icebreaker ship for a few months. "Here's my icebreaker..." is now his conversation starter every time.

Life partner of David.

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Kaspar Reuss

Occupation: Accounting assistant (Cadet) - Triton

Age: 27

Hometown: Bremen, Germany

Chapters: 07, 08, 17, 19

A diehard proponent of the new invention of eating ice cream from cones. Any other vessel for ice cream, he claims, is "unspeakable".

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Winfried von Klump III

Occupation: CEO - Klump Shipping Company Ltd.

Age: 52

Hometown: Hamburg, Germany

Chapters: 07, 10

Still just shops at the regular grocery.

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Lina Bensalem

Occupation: Travelling sales advisor - Klump Shipping Company Ltd.

Age: 36

Hometown: Mijas, Spain

Chapters: 11, 18, 20

Has muscular strength ranking on par with the Triton's strongest dockers. Avoids, like the plague, using any of it.

Girlfriend of Valerie.

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Mauritz Reiter

Occupation: Accounting assistant (Cadet) - Triton

Age: 22

Hometown: Basel, Switzerland

Chapters: 06, 17

The undisputed table game champion of the Triton. Prevails in hearts, spades, and bridge. Sometimes slips to second in backgammon.

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Mikey Lippincott

Occupation: Head chef - Triton

Age: 36

Hometown: Montréal, Québec, Canada

Chapters: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 10, 14, 15, 17, 19, 20

Has kept pet tarantulas in the past, but is mortally terrified of all spiders except tarantulas.

Work supervisor of Steven.

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Otto Tarkow

Occupation: Navigation assistant (Cadet) - Triton

Age: 33

Hometown: Potsdam, Germany

Chapters: 07, 10, 17

Is the eighth son of a seventh son. As a result, maintains that his older brother is a werewolf.

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Reemus Spratt

Occupation: Head janitor - Triton

Age: 60

Hometown: Chemnitz, Germany

Chapters: 06, 09

Ate an ostrich egg once. Against all probability, kind of liked it.

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Rolf Jensen

Occupation: Marketing representative (Cadet) - Triton

Age: 23

Hometown: Rostock, Germany

Chapters: 16

Was the first person in the Weimar Republic to own a hair dryer.

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Sam Crookston

Occupation: Senior mechanic - Triton

Age: 46

Hometown: Brighton, England, UK

Chapters: 01, 02, 03, 04, 06, 11, 12, 18, 19, 20

Speaks eighteen languages, though he only knows basic greetings and all the words related to engines.

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Shmuel Miller

Occupation: Crew cargo stocker (Cadet) - Triton

Age: 29

Hometown: New York, New York, US

Chapters: 13, 16, 20

Owns an autograph by Babe Ruth.

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Stanley Pincus

Occupation: Training officer (Semi-retired) - Triton

Age: 67

Hometown: San Francisco, California, US

Chapters: 06, 09

Loves garlic, to the point of near-addiction. Can go through four straight-up cloves on a weekend.

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Steven van Kleef

Occupation: Sous chef - Triton

Age: 32

Hometown: Groningen, Netherlands

Chapters: 14, 15, 17, 19, 20

Has dabbled in taxidermy.

Work apprentice of Mikey.

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Terry Garza

Occupation: Machinist (Cadet) - Triton

Age: 27

Hometown: Acapulco, Mexico

Chapters: 06, 07, 08, 11, 12, 19, 20

Co-author of a scientific paper on monarch butterfly migration. Wrote almost all of his portion on a table in his machine shop.

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Valerie Warnock

Age: 38

Hometown: Adelaide, Australia

Chapters: 03, 11, 20

Learned the international maritime flag signalling code before she learned to write. Often communicated with her parents using flags only.

Girlfriend of Lina.

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Walt Nguyen

Occupation: Nursing assistant (Cadet) - Triton

Age: 25

Hometown: Los Angeles, California, US

Chapters: 06, 17, 20

Has compulsively had Gilbert and Sullivan's Major-General's Song stuck in his head for what is rapidly becoming the second year.

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