An Old Friend

The next couple of weeks were tough. Emily barely responded to my messages and I hated having done something to upset her.

If I had been a decent person I would have deleted the audio file of Emily and Mark having sex, but as I'm a happily-married man fixating on the love life of my friend, I'm clearly not a decent person.

I was trying to have a conversation with Emily and was receiving monosyllabic replies, so I thought fuck this - I need to stop beating around the bush and be direct. I typed: "Emily I love you and I hate that there's a distance between us. I want to see you and talk to you. I'm your friend and our friendship is so important to me and I don't want to lose it. Please can we meet up?"

It was some hours before I got a response from Emily asking "Are you free at the weekend?"

We exchanged a couple of follow up messages and agreed that we'd meet on Saturday night in the Queen's Head pub; this was where I'd first seen Emily and started this whole crazy chain of events. As a bonus, Rachel and the kids were going to be away at the weekend visiting her sister so I wouldn't have to explain where I was going and why.

On Saturday, I went into town and got a haircut and then bought myself some new clothes so I'd look at my best, but as I was getting ready to go out, I looked at myself critically in the mirror. The new blue shirt looked nice, but it was a shame about the belly underneath it. My hair was mostly hanging-on in there and the new haircut made it look thicker, but I wasn't going to be appearing in any shampoo adverts! I shook my head, Emily knew what I looked like already - a 45 year old man who didn't spend enough time in the gym and who liked his food and a beer.

You might wonder why I was worrying about my appearance when I was going to meet Emily to try and repair our friendship - the simplest answer is that I'm a man and like most men I'm led by my dick! My surface thoughts were on supporting Emily, but underneath I still burned with a desire to have sex with her.

I arrived early at the Queen's Head and ordered myself a pint of Doom Bar. I sat down at a table where I had sight of the door, but this was a bad idea because every time it opened my head shot up and I looked for Emily. Happily for my nerves, she arrived exactly on time, I stared at her like a thirsty man seeing water. Emily was wearing a tight blue dress, high heels, and what I hoped were sheer black stockings on her legs. She looked incredible, this was only the second time I'd seen her in the flesh in the last five years and I had forgotten how sexy she was. I gazed at her, taking in her dark hair (she no longer had the blonde highlights from the last time I'd seen her). Her alabaster skin was flawless making her look much younger than her 40 years and those lips looked as kissable as ever. I didn't dare to look too closely at her body for fear of being lost in those curves.

I stood up to give her a hug when she arrived at the table and Emily kissed me on the cheek as we clasped.

"You look fabulous!" I said looking her straight in the eyes.

"So do you." Emily smiled.

"I look like a 45 year old with a dad bod, but it's kind of you to say. Would you like a drink?"

I walked to the bar to get a white wine for Emily and another beer for myself, as I walked back I looked at her. She had crossed her legs and the top of one of her stockings was clearly visible. She caught me looking and smiled, causing my heart to beat faster.

I gave Emily her drink and sat down, "Cheers!" we said together, clinking our glasses.

"How have you been?" I asked.

"It's been a difficult couple of weeks." Emily replied, "I'm sorry for ignoring you Alex, but there were some things I had to sort out mentally without the additional complications you would bring."

"That's alright, I understand."

"You should know that I've split up with Mark."

My heart raced. "Good." I said, my voice sounding thick, "I hated hearing how he treated you on that audio recording."

"I hated myself after that night. I also hated Mark for being an arrogant prick, and I hated you for asking me to record it."

"I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault, I shouldn't have sent it to you, but part of the way I was behaving was because I knew you were going to be listening to it. It turned me on more than what Mark was doing to me."

I reached across the table and held Emily's hands. She smiled shyly at me.

"I thought he came across as an idiot when you described him, with his fake tan and muscles, driving his BMW and listening to Coldplay, he probably read in a magazine at the hairdressers that it's good to play when you're trying to impress a woman!"

"Ouch!" Emily said with a laugh.

"It didn't help that I was jealous as hell of the guy!" I continued, stopping suddenly as Adventure of a Lifetime by Coldplay came on the pub's sound system. "Jesus Christ!" I swore and Emily laughed until she had tears in her eyes.

When she had recovered she said shyly "You didn't need to be jealous of him. Although the sex was good, we had no emotional connection. I felt more..." Emily paused, considering her next word, before continuing "love for you when we were having our text conversations than I ever felt for Mark."

My heart leapt and I felt exultant, I took Emily's hand and raised it to kiss it. "That's what made me really angry about that recording. He should have treated you like a queen, instead it was all about him being a big man."

"How many times did you listen to it?"

"A few. But I didn't want to after the first time!" I added, as if to excuse myself.

"Your animal instincts took over and forced you to listen to it?" Emily smiled at me, to show she meant no offence.

"That's exactly what it was!"

"You Alex, are like one of those baboons at the zoo, who can't stop playing with themselves."

"Only over you."

Our eyes met and we both held the look for what seemed like an eternity before Emily at last tore her eyes away. I cleared my throat, "Would you like another drink?"

"Please."

I walked over to the bar feeling a little bit shaky; I hadn't felt this much emotion towards a woman since I was a young man. Then it struck me, the last time I had felt something like this was at the start of my relationship with Rachel! That thought cooled my ardour somewhat.

I bought the drinks and walked back to Emily. "How did you split up with Mark?" I asked when I had sat down.

"I was staying at his place in Bristol when I made that recording so I wasn't in any position to leave that night. We ended up screwing again in the morning and I hated myself for doing it, but it felt easier than explaining why I didn't want to have sex with him."

I reached out and squeezed her hand again. Emily continued, "All the way to the station he was talking about what we'd do the next time we were together, and he kept going on about his friend joining in."

"You seemed quite keen on that in the recording."

"There's a big difference between what you say in the throes of passion and what you want to do in real life."

"That's true. He seemed to treat you as a sex object, do you think he actually liked you as a person?"

"That's a good question. I don't think Mark sees women as people; they're there to admire his muscles and his dick, they're not there to become friends, which explains why he's never been married." Emily looked thoughtful and took a drink of her wine, "Looking back, I should have realised what he was like when we went out for the meal, he spent most of the night talking about himself, and he wanted to get out of the restaurant as quickly as possible so he could have sex with me."

"I can't blame him for that!" I raised my hands to signal that I wasn't trying to give offence. "When did you tell him that you didn't want to see him again?"

"I waited until we got to the train station after our night together. It probably wasn't a good idea because we weren't able to have a proper conversation."

"What did he say when you told him?"

"He was shocked and kept repeating, 'But, you told me the sex was great!'"

"I almost feel sorry for him!"

"Don't! When I tried to tell him why I didn't want to see him anymore, he screamed at me calling me a bitch and a whore."

"Bastard!"

"It was even worse than it sounds. Have you been to Temple Meads Station?"

"Many times."

"Then you'll know how busy it gets. This happened right outside the station and people were walking past as he shouted at me. I was in floods of tears, not because of the names, but because he started to shout at people walking past - 'Do you know I fucked her in the arse last night and now she wants to split up with me?'"

"Oh Emily, I'm so sorry. How did you manage to get away?"

"A security guard came out from the station and said he was going to call the police. Mark told him to 'fuck off' but he did go, although not without a final parting remark."

"You don't have to tell me what he said." This will sound cowardly, but I was almost scared to hear it.

Emily pushed on, her eyes were now downcast and her face had become red. "He said 'After spitting out three kids', my body was 'disgusting' and my... cunt was so loose it was like 'fucking a plastic bag.'"

I saw red and I spluttered trying to get some words out, "Mother fucker!" was the best response I could come up with.

"Don't be angry Alex." Emily stood up and put her arms around me. I pulled her close, smelling her perfume. As I moved her towards me, Emily toppled over on her heels, ending up in my lap. She started laughing and my anger vanished looking into her beautiful blue eyes and before I knew what was happening, we were kissing. It had been so long since we had kissed that I had forgotten what it felt like, but tonight we fitted together as if we were part of a pair that were finally being rejoined. Emily's lips parted, encouraging me, and I slipped my tongue into her mouth, meeting hers. I could have kissed her forever, but someone bumped into my chair as they walked past, and this jolted us back to reality.

Emily slowly pulled herself back to her feet, pulling her dress down from where it had ridden up over her stocking tops. She looked around and blushed when a man at the table next to us saluted by raising his pint glass. I laughed seeing the admiration on the man's face.

I took a long swig on my beer, trying to compose myself as Emily sat down again. "Was it because of what Mark said that you shut yourself away from me?"

"Not really." Emily drank more wine, finishing the glass. She stood up, "I don't suppose you're able to go to the bar?" she said, nodding at the tent in my trousers that had resulted from our kiss.

"I'm not that much of an exhibitionist!"

Emily walked off and I admired her figure from behind. My mind was racing, I'm a married man and I love Rachel, but am I really going to resist spending the night with Emily if I get the chance?

I was still thinking about this when Emily returned. "You've calmed down, I see."

"It's a relief because it was getting uncomfortable."

However, when I watched Emily sit down and flash her stocking tops for the third time, my erection returned again. Emily noticed and smiled, "Do you need to go to the toilet and take care of that?" she said.

"Only if you're coming with me?"

"I want our first time having sex to be somewhere more romantic than a pub toilet, Alex!" Emily looked shocked when she realised what she had just said.

I changed the subject because I wasn't yet ready to confront what might happen between us tonight. "You were going to explain why you stopped talking to me."

"I was." Emily took another drink, "I didn't like who I became when I was with Mark. He treated me like a whore and when he called me names and I repeated them, it was like I was becoming what he wanted me to be."

She straightened her back and drew her hands through her hair almost as if she was gathering strength. I resisted the urge to start talking, knowing that Emily didn't need me to offer her affirmation at this point.

"I would sit down at night after the kids were in bed and think about who I am, and what sort of person I wanted to be for the rest of my life, and eventually I came to some decisions."

I took a drink of Doom Bar while waiting for Emily to continue.

She looked me in the eyes. "Firstly, I'm not a slut, I'm a woman who likes sex. You like sex, Mark likes sex, my ex-husband Richard likes sex, no one judges men for liking sex so I won't be judged either. If I want a certain type of sex or want to talk dirty, that's my choice."

I reached across the table and held her hands again. Emily continued, "Secondly, our friendship is important to me but our mutual attraction is always going to be there and we need to decide what we're going to do about it."

"I was thinking about that when you were at the bar." I admitted.

"I want to have sex with you Alex." Emily looked directly at me and I wanted to drown in those blue pools. I held eye contact as she continued, "I know you're married and you need to make the decision whether you cheat on Rachel. If we do have sex, I won't be your mistress afterwards, you either decide to be with me or with Rachel.

"If you're not with me, I don't know if we can continue to be just friends. I'll miss what we have and the last month has been so exciting, but I need to live my own life." Emily stopped and it was clear that it was my time to speak.

I cleared my throat, "Thank you for being so honest with me. I'll be honest with you.

"I love you for your beautiful body and for your beautiful mind. I've been thinking about my love for Rachel and my love for you, and we need to decide what the future looks like whether that's together or apart.

"I feel like I'm burning up inside with the need to make love to you, and I don't want to look back at the end of my life with regrets. So let's take tonight for us, and we can talk about the future tomorrow."

Emily stood and stretched out her hand towards me, "Do you want to come home and make love to me Alex?"

I rose to my feet and took her hand in mine, "Emily, that's the only thing in the world I want to do."