Dude, You Slept With My Mom

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(Bucket-List Progress: Week 29 - 70/104 = 67.30%)

(Bucket-List Progress: Week 29 - 70/104 = 67.30%)

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~~~ Week 30 - Sunday ~~~

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We were all up early - excited about Jessie and Samantha coming to church with us. I was already sporting a major hard-on. I hadn't anticipated getting Jessie alone again - but something about looking forward to the day had me as hard as stone.

Since April and Emily were - technically - no longer on probation, Maggie suggested that I empty my balls before we headed to church. I bent the two eagerly-moaning cock-sluts over the bed in the master bedroom and pounded them hard - alternating each time they climaxed.

Maggie finally swatted me on the ass and informed me that I was running out of time. Both of the girls wanted my load. Maggie ordered them to turn so that their pussies were rubbing against each other as they scissored together. Maggie stood behind me and finished me by jerking me off while nibbling on the back of my neck and whispering naughty shit into my ears as I ogled my two fiancées as they ground their coochies together. My jizz rocketed out of my penis. Maggie was worse than a 3-year-old with a garden hose - she sprayed that shit everywhere! She *did* somehow manage to keep all of it on the two nymphomaniacs.

April and Emily headed to shower my jizz off of their bodies. Maggie turned me to face her and used her mouth to clean me up. I told her that she was a brazen hussy and that my mother would be ashamed of her friend if she knew what a dirty slut she was.

Maggie snickered and stood, kissing me hard. When she giggled and tried to push her tongue into my mouth, I realized that she was trying to snowball the last drop of my jizz to me. I shoved her away. She got a little choked up from laughing while trying to swallow down the goo. She had tears in her eyes. I swatted her rounded rump and told her that she was a nasty bitch. She just laughed harder and then begged hugs. I hugged her curvy body against me and squeezed her butt in my hands.

The girls finally got out of the bathroom and we had to hurry to get into the Traverse to head for Jessie's house. By the time we got them picked up and then we raced to church, it was almost time for service to start. There was no time for introductions.

I slid into the pew beside my mother. Samantha climbed onto my lap and whispered a hello as her mother sat down on my left. Mom looked from Samantha to Jessie to me and gave me a look that told me that she needed to have a very serious discussion with me.

We did not have any coloring books for Samantha. She contented herself with tracing the veins in my fingers, hands, and arms with her fingertip as we listened to the minister give his sermon. When she finished tracing my fingers, I did the same with hers. When ours were done, she got my mother to participate. I watched my mother's eyes as the little imp on my lap dragged her fingertip along my mother's fingers, palm, and her forearm. Mom glanced at the minister now and then but she was almost wholly focused on the brown-haired little darling who was perched on my lap.

When the service ended and the minister headed for the back door to greet everyone as they left, my mother finally spoke.

"What is your name, darling?" Mom asked.

"Samantha," the girl answered. "Mommy calls me Sam sometimes. You are Sam's mommy, right?"

"Yes, I am," Mom answered.

Samantha turned to Elise.

"You're pretty too," she said. "You look like Sam's mommy."

"I'm Sam's sister," Elise said. "My name is Elise. You are very pretty too."

"Thank you," Samantha said. "Are you nice - or ornery like Sam?"

Elise gave a bark of laughter and quickly covered her mouth.

"My mommy had to work a lot when we were growing up," Elise explained. "I ended up being Sam's babysitter most of the time. He might be ornery because he learned it from me. Are you nice or ornery?"

"I try to be nice but I'm not very good at it sometimes," Samantha answered.

"You did very well in church," Elise told her.

"Thank you," Samantha answered.

She looked at Lena.

"You look like Emily," Samantha said. "She told me that I would get to meet her mommy. Is that you?"

"It is," Lena said. "Aren't you a little darling?"

"Nana says I'm pre-co-shush...," Samantha reported.

"I would most definitely agree," Lena said, chuckling.

Samantha turned to me.

"Was Emily's daddy sitting behind her mommy?"

"Yes," I answered. "That's David - and Peggy."

"Does he ever smile?" Samantha asked.

My mother gave a bark of laughter. My sister was wiping tears from her eyes. Lena was covering her face with her hands to try to hold it in.

"Almost never," I answered her. "Let's go greet the minister and then my sister can tell me where we're heading for lunch today. We can talk some there and then we'll go to my Mom's house."

"Is that okay?" Samantha asked Mom.

"I would love to host you and your mother," Mom said. "What is Mommy's name?"

"Mommy," Samantha reported brightly. She waited two full seconds before she added, "Other people call her Jessie."

"You *are" ornery," Elise told Samantha.

Samantha giggled adorably and then looked at me.

"Carry me?"

"If I must...," I playfully snarled.

We all started getting up and heading for the exit.

When we got to the minister and his wife, he smiled brightly and held out his hand to Samantha.

"What is your name, beautiful?" he asked.

"Samantha," she reported, taking his hand. "Mommy calls me Sam sometimes - like this guy. You know him, right?"

"I do," the minister said, nodding.

He gave me a smile and then turned back to Samantha.

"Who is this pretty lady with you?" he asked.

"This is Mommy," Samantha said.

"What should I call her?" the minister asked.

"Most people call her Jessie but Nana calls her Jessica when she's mad or upset."

"I doubt that happens often," the minister said, taking Jessie's hand.

"Nana sometimes tells Mommy that she deserves me. I'm not sure what that means."

The minister's wife gave a squeak and hurried to cover her mouth with her hands. Jessie winked at the woman and offered her a handshake. The woman greeted her and thanked her for coming.

"You try to keep Sam out of trouble, will you?" the minister asked Samantha.

"I have enough trouble, keeping myself out of trouble," the adorable imp reported. "He's on his own."

The minister's wife turned quickly and her body convulsed as she fought to keep from laughing. The minister merely nodded and smiled.

"Maybe Mommy can help you both," he offered.

"I wouldn't put too much money on it," Samantha replied. "I'm not sure what that means - but Uncle Archie says it a lot."

"Uncle Archie sounds like a reasonable fellow," the minister said, smiling.

"He smells like liver and onions," Samantha reported. "I tried it but it made my mouth turn inside-out."

"I'm not much of a fan myself," the minister agreed. "Thank you for coming today."

"I'm going to make Nana come next time," Samantha informed him.

"I would be delighted to meet your Nana," he replied, "and I look forward to seeing you again."

Samantha looked at me as we stepped away.

"I'm hungry," she said.

"Me too," I answered.

"He wasn't too boring," she reported.

"He's alright," I said, nodding. "He gets his point across and stops when he's done that. A few others should follow his example."

Samantha nodded sagely but didn't reply. Her mother grinned at me.

We waited to the side while the rest of our group greeted the minister and his wife. I was just getting ready to head for the car when the minister got my attention and motioned for me to step back over again. I handed Samantha off to her mother with a muttered curse.

I knew that I was in trouble when both the minister and his wife closed in on me as I drew near. I tried not to sigh in annoyance. I had suspected that this conversation was coming but I'd hoped to avoid it. I started to open my mouth - to explain. The minister glanced at his wife and then held up his hand to stop me.

"I don't *need* to know," he said. "I admit that I'm curious but - at this point - I think I'm better off not asking any questions. I'm going with reasonable doubt."

He waited for me to respond. I nodded.

"As a minister of God, I can't condone extra-marital affairs," he said.

I started to object again - but he gave me a look to tell me to keep quiet.

"To my knowledge, nothing that's happening - or even *might* be happening - violates anyone's marriage oath. So... there's nothing to be said in that regard. Obviously, I cannot encourage sex *before* marriage either. That being said, I'm a practical man and I'm well aware that a number of divorces might have been prevented if the couple had taken the time to really get to know each other before they made a life-long commitment in front of God and several witnesses."

He paused and looked at me. I nodded.

"Your group is fairly well-behaved, though younger than most of the rest of our congregants. I deeply appreciate that - and the fact that your friends are not just riding the pews but actually paying attention. In my*personal*opinion, that's a larger problem than some of the other issues that I have just mentioned."

He took a quick breath and then carried on.

"I'm going to avoid doing anything that looks like I am condoning any... uh... extra-curricular activities. One reason to have this conversation with you right now is so that some of the other folks can see me talking to you. Please try not to give a triumphant whoop - or a happy smile as you walk away - but I deeply appreciate your work to fill the pews. Please continue doing that."

He held out his hand. I took it.

"If you would be so kind as to affix a perturbed look on your face as you return to your group, I would sincerely appreciate it."

I nodded, squeezed his hand, and then pulled him into a brief hug.

"Don't overdo it," he whispered, chuckling slightly.

I pasted a frown on my face, released him, shook his hand again, and headed back towards Mom and the others.

"Everything okay?" Mom asked.

"Yeah," I said. "I'll share when we get home."

Mom glanced at the minister's wife - who gave her a small smile and a wave - which Mom returned.

"Where are we eating?" I asked.

"KFC okay?" Elise inquired.

"I'd like that," I said.

"Well, it's that or Old People Buffet...," she teased.

"Old People Buffet?" Samantha asked.

Jessie glanced back and forth between my sister and I and then shushed her daughter and told her that she was certain that they would find out later.

Mom forgot all about her concerns regarding my conversation with the minister when she saw Maggie's new ride - and the car seat. Mom ended up trying to hand me the keys to her car so that she could switch places with me. Elise grabbed the keys from her, though, and took off before I could grab them back. Mom helped get Samantha into her seat, gave Jessie a hug, and then went around to get into the front passenger seat of Maggie's Traverse. I went to climb in with my sister.

"Got another new girlfriend, dork?" Elise asked.

I blushed. There was no safe answer.

"Don't you have enough hot women around you already?" she asked, as she started the car. "As if that's not enough pussy for you, you have... what... this mission to fuck every mother in the city?"

I ignored her and looked down the road. I could feel her eyes crawling over me before she turned back to her driving.

"Lena can't get enough of you," Elise commented. "Even after you finish with her, she gushes about you. Mom finally yelled at her enough to get her to stay quiet most of the time but it can be a little awkward - walking by your old room - and hearing your fiancée's mother moaning your name as she noisily slides her fingers in and out of her fuck-hole."

Elise glanced at me when I squirmed in my seat.

"I've been trying harder to be quiet," Lena whispered.

Somehow - until that moment - I hadn't even realized that she was in the car. I should have known better. She always rode with Mom. I turned to look at her.

"I'm sorry, Lena," I told her.

"Your sister's right," Lena answered. "I'm so hung up on you. I should find a man my own age."

"You don't have to, Lena," Elise said. "I... actually forgot you were in here. I was just giving my little brother shit because he showed up with a hot new woman."

"Who is she?" Lena asked.

"Her older sister was on my list," I explained. "Jessie knows Sue somehow and - when Maggie kept asking about how to get Jersey to agree to fuck me - Sue connected Maggie with Jessie. Jessie said that the easiest way was for me to pretend to be a one-night-stand. She said her sister always tries to butt in and steal her dates."

"And you fucked them both?" Elise asked.

"On the dining room table - side by side," I said, nodding.

My sister glanced at my crotch. My pants were tented, badly. All of this talk was driving me crazy again.

"Are you constantly hard?" she asked.

"What kind of question is that?" I asked.

"Do you ever *stop* having sex? Since when are you this virile hypersexual?" she asked.

"I don't know," I said.

"I'm wet whenever I think about you," Lena said quietly.

"I lust you too, sexy," I told her.

"See?!" Elise gasped. "When did you start that Casanova shit?!"

"I... don't know," I said. "I know I wasn't like this in school. It... just comes naturally now... I guess? I'm not even really trying."

"Sam will always be my knight in shining armor," Lena said. "Even if I found a new boyfriend tomorrow. I will drop my panties or suck his cock anytime he asks. Sam saved me from so much - not just the physical stuff that David was doing. I'm finally free."

"I'm glad, Lena," Elise said. "Sometimes, I envy how happy you are. You get that goofy look on your face and..."

"What?" I asked.

"It's been a while, okay? Shut up," Elise growled. "Ass."

"I love you too," I told my sister.

She growled at me again - and then pulled into the KFC parking lot.

We got out and headed into the restaurant. I offered Lena my hand. She beamed at me, kissed my cheek, and walked with me.

"I love you, handsome," she said. "It tickles me every time I see David look at you and his face sours."

"I love you, too, gorgeous," I told her.

I pulled her into a quick hug and gave her a peck on the lips before I let her go. Emily glanced from me to her mother and back again as we walked up. She rolled her eyes at her mother as the woman gave me another side-hug and stared back at her daughter - daring her to say something. April snickered. Emily slugged her and whispered that she was going to call April's mother. April's face went rigid and then she apologized.

I walked over to check on Jessie and Samantha.

"Do you have money for lunch?" I asked.

Jessie gave me a look like she wanted to drag me to the restroom and fuck the shit out of me. I realized that Samantha was watching me. I mentally screamed at my penis to go to sleep. Girls are so lucky that they can be horny as fuck and nobody knows. I glanced at Jessie's chest. Her nipples were poking through her shirt. I almost laughed out loud.

"Thank you for asking," Jessie said. "I'm good. I just got paid. I need to talk to you and the others to see if you're serious about me joining your team, though."

"We are," Emily said. "You fit - and I mean that in *every* way..."

I swallowed down a lump from my throat and tried to remind my hard-on that it was supposed to be going away. The naughty look that my fiancée was giving the young MILF - though - was having a severely negative effect on that effort.

"Agreed," April chimed in.

"Yes," Alyssa added.

"She gets all of the new plumbing work...," Brian said, grinning broadly.

Jessie turned from Brian to Emily.

"Ignore the monkeys," Emily said. "We've already all agreed that you'll start with me. April will shift to their group and you'll trade when you've built enough muscle to help Sam and the married couple."

"He hasn't even proposed yet," Alyssa retorted.

"Matter of time...," April interjected. "It's as good as done. You finish getting that bed moved?"

"What?" Alyssa asked.

A moment later - as April pantomimed calling her on the phone - Alyssa gasped and blushed. The rest of us laughed, chuckled, or snickered. Jessie glanced between us all and then stepped up to order the food for her and Samantha.

Since Emily already knew what I wanted, I went to sit beside my mother. I put my arm around her and gave her a quick side-hug. She grabbed my fingers to force me to keep my arm around her. She scooted closer and leaned against me.

"The waitress at the diner where we eat lunch said that - if you're ever looking for a new home - she'd love to have you," I told her.

"Rhonda's the best," Emily said, dropping into the seat across from me. "You'd love her, I think."

"I might consider it," Mom admitted. "The place where I work got new owners recently and things have... changed... a little."

"Rhonda joked that if we kept adding people to our team, that she was going to have to hire another girl," April shared.

"You talk to your sister?" Mom asked.

"Not about work...," I said, glancing at Elise.

"Do you guys really need more people?" Elise asked.

"Yes!" Emily said quickly. "Are you quitting advertising?"

"I could use some help with photo layouts for my picture-books... after hours," April told Elise. "We do landscaping during the day and then Emily and I work on projects at home too."

"You do?" Mom asked.

Emily nodded and said, "I get the prep-work done for upcoming projects."

"I do photo-books for the clients on jobs that are completed," April said. "We give them a picture book of their yards before, during, and after our work. I don't remember whose yard we did it for first - but it's been a huge hit. We initially talked about doing it as like a Christmas gift from the landscaping company - but I have been getting them back to the clients a week or two after we finish their jobs."

"Is it just a picture book?" Elise asked.

"Right now, it is," April said. "I thought about making it more like a scrapbook - you know - but I'm not as good with layouts and stuff..."

"Could I take a look at what you're considering?" Elise asked.

"Oh! Sweet baby Jesus, yes!" April gushed. "I've got a few mock-ups on my phone but there horrible. I was going to delete them out of sheer frustration - but I've already invested too much time in them."

As the conversation lulled, Mom glanced at me.

"Everything okay with you and the minister?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "As best as I can tell, the old ladies have been riding his ass for not saying something to me about all of these new *hussies* that I've been bringing into their sacred sanctuary."

"What did he say?" Mom asked.

"He told me that he would need to address any extra-marital affairs - but that he didn't think any of us were violating any marriage vows. He said that he couldn't condone sex before marriage so he was not going to ask about anything that was happening and kindly asked me not to share anything with him that would put him in a position where he would have to come down on me."

"... and then you hugged him...," Mom replied.

"He told me to paste a frown on my face so that all of the old biddies who were watching would think that he'd just jumped my shit..."

"Language," April said quietly.

"... and I got so tickled that he was being so genuine about it all - while thanking me for continuing to show up with new faces - that I hugged him."

"He seems nice," Jessie said.

I glanced at her and then back at Mom again.

"I told Jessie that the minister usually just says his piece and then ends it - no endless circling to fill time," I explained.