Dude, You Slept With My Mom

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(Bucket-List Progress: Week 30/31 - 73/104 = 70.19%)

(Bucket-List Progress: Week 30/31 - 73/104 = 70.19%)

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~~~ Week 31 - Sunday ~~~

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As I was showering for church, I realized that I had never grabbed the jars of apple butter out of the back of Maggie's vehicle. Once I was dressed, I went out and picked up the cardboard tray of mason jars and set them on the workbench by the door - so that I would see them and remember (hopefully) that I needed to get them wrapped up as presents.

By the time I got back into the house, Maggie was working on breakfast. I wrapped my arms around her and nuzzled against the back of her neck.

"Stop," she giggled. "You know I can't concentrate when you're doing that."

"Too bad," I teased.

I kissed her cheek and then released her and started helping her work. By the time the girls got out of the shower, Maggie and I were just putting the food on the table.

I had just started to grab my fork when my sister held her hand out to me. I looked up to find her grinning.

"If Samantha were here...," she said with a grin.

"She's not though...," I groused.

Elise persisted. I sighed, set my fork down, and took her hand. Once we were all linked, the women all looked at me.

"That's not fair," I argued. "Somebody else should take a turn."

"But you do such a good job...," April said so sweetly that I swear my ears hurt.

I didn't bother to bow my head or close my eyes. Instead, I looked up - and sighed again.

"Hey...," I said. "Thanks for the food. Help... things to go well with Nana today..."

"Amen," April said, dropping the hands of those beside her. "See...? Perfect."

I grumped at her and grabbed my fork to start on my eggs. I grabbed a crispy slice of bacon and chewed a piece off. It was damned-near perfect. I glanced over at Maggie who winked at me.

"Good job on the bacon, sexy," she said.

"I need to remember to put the apron on first thing," I countered.

"I'll hit your shirt with a degreaser and a stain-remover before it goes in the wash," she replied.

We ate our food in silence and were quickly getting ready to leave. I took my shirt to the laundry room. Maggie followed me and showed me what products to use. I left it there to give the chemicals time to counteract the bacon grease and headed to the bedroom to get a new shirt.

I hopped into the passenger seat. Everybody else was already in their places. The vehicle was running and the garage door was already open. Maggie backed down the drive, hit the button to close the garage, and then we headed on our way.

Even though we were early, we arrived at the church to find Samantha, Jessie, and her mother waiting for us on the sidewalk. Maggie and Alyssa must have coordinated our arrivals - because they were already heading across the parking lot as well.

Samantha ran towards me with arms spread wide and leapt into my arms. I caught her, hugged her, spun her around, and kissed her nose. She grabbed my face and planted one on my lips. I carried her over to where her mother was standing and - without even thinking about what I was doing - I leaned over and planted a kiss on Jessie's lips.

I realized that Nana was watching us and stood up quickly, clearing my throat nervously.

"Nana, this is Sam," Samantha announced. "He has the same name as me. He hugs and kisses a lot. He's the one that I've been helping with the flowers and trees and shrubs and bushes."

Samantha proceeded to climb from one person to the next. With each person, she hugged them, kissed them, and then introduced them to Nana.

"This is Alyssa. She only kisses Brian."

Alyssa showed Samantha her ring.

"Is that new?!" Samantha asked excitedly.

"It is," Alyssa said. "Brian gave it to me on Thanksgiving."

"You're going to get married?"

"Yup."

"When?"

"We haven't decided yet," Alyssa replied.

"Can I be your flower girl?" Samantha asked.

"Now, Samantha...," her grandmother warned.

"I was going to ask if you would...," Alyssa told the girl, ignoring the woman.

Samantha squealed loudly, hugged Alyssa's neck super-hard, and kissed her on the lips.

She then practically leapt from Alyssa's arms to Brian's. She hugged him hard and gave him a quick peck on the lips. He pretended like it happened all of the time. He was very cool. He was also watching the brown-haired girl's face.

"Is it okay?" Samantha asked.

"For you to be our flower girl?" Brian asked.

"Yes..."

"Yes," he answered.

She squealed again and hugged him again. She pushed out of his arms, heading for Emily.

"Nana, this is Emily," Samantha reported. "Oh! Alyssa and Brian work with me and Sam. Emily works with Mommy, April, and Elise. Elise is Sam's big sister. Someday, I want to be a big sister - just like her."

I glanced across the faces in our group. Jessie was fighting with her facial expression. She was avoiding looking at her mother because her daughter had just announced that she wanted a sibling. She was avoiding looking at me because I think we both knew how that sibling would be conceived. She was fighting to keep from blushing and also trying to decide how to respond to her daughter's announcement.

"We'll just have to see...," Nana told her.

Her eyes drifted from her daughter's face to mine. It was obvious that she suspected how a sibling might be produced. Then again, Brian was already established as engaged and I was the only available male in the vicinity - so maybe it wasn't so hard to figure out after all.

"Emily's the boss," Samantha informed her grandmother.

Samantha reached for April next.

"April takes pictures - and also helps Emily with the flowers and stuff."

April got her share of hugs and kisses and then Samantha reached for Elise.

"Elise is new - like Mommy," Samantha reported. "Emily says they're both good workers."

She turned towards Emily.

"Am I a good worker too?" Samantha asked.

"Remember," Alyssa told her. "It's okay to help out but you need to remember to be a kid."

"I know...," Samantha said, rolling her eyes at the golden-haired beauty. "You act like I don't have a mommy..."

"Samantha...," her grandmother warned.

"Attitude, little miss," Alyssa said, giving her a warning look.

"Sorry, Alyssa," Samantha said. "I'll do better."

Nana looked from the little girl to the former-prostitute. Her eyes were wider than they had been before.

"Good," Alyssa said.

Samantha reached for Maggie. Maggie seemed slightly surprised.

"Thank you for my adventure yesterday, Maggie. I had so much fun! I called Nana when we got home and told her all about it!"

"I'm pleased that you enjoyed our adventure, Sweetie," Maggie told her.

Samantha hugged her neck and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

"Sam's Mom!" she cheered, as Mom and Lena came walking up.

Mom got a hug and a kiss as well. Finally, she reached for Lena.

"You're Emily's mommy, right?" Samantha asked.

"Yes, I am," Lena replied. "Who is your guest?"

"Oh! This is Nana," Samantha replied.

She leaned her head towards Lena's and whispered too-loudly.

"She's Mommy's mommy."

"I can see where Mommy gets her good looks," Lena whispered.

"Thank you," Jessie's mother said. "Emily takes after you as well, I see," she replied. "Chrissy, isn't it? You have some gorgeous children as well."

"Thanks," Mom said, blushing slightly. "We should probably head inside."

"Mom likes to be early," I commented.

"And you like to make an entrance...," Mom teased.

She laughed when I gaped at her.

She held her hand out to me. Samantha leapt from Lena's arms to mine as I passed. I set her on my right hip and took Mom's hand with my left one. We headed inside.

"You think your dad will show?" April asked Emily.

"I hate to say it but I almost hope not," Emily replied. "I think I need a few more days without seeing his face again."

"Trouble?" Jessie asked.

"He started some sh... schtuff on Thanksgiving...," Emily told her.

"It almost got physical," Alyssa said, glancing from Jessie to Brian.

"Oh my!" Jessie said.

"Brian is always so calm...," Jessie said.

"He insulted my mother in her home in front of the entire group," Brian said, glancing from Jessie to Maggie.

"Maggie is your mother?" Nana asked.

"Ah, yeah, Samantha missed that connection...," Jessie told her mother.

April and Emily sat on either side of Lena - apparently worried that David might show up and start something. Elise sat next to Emily. Mom sat beside my sister. I sat next to Mom. Samantha sat on my lap. Nana sat beside me. Jessie sat on the other side of her mother and shot me a sympathetic look when her mother was distracted. Alyssa sat by Jessie and squeezed her knee. Maggie sat between Alyssa and Brian. There wasn't room in our pew for anybody else to join us.

When Peggy showed up by herself just before the minister approached the lectern, however, we made room. April stood, pulled Peggy in with us, and made her sit beside Lena. When April sat down, one butt-cheek was hanging off of the end - in the aisle. We all quickly did a little scoot to our left to make room for her to fit back on the seat again. Lena gave Peggy a hug and whispered a greeting to her. I gave her a little wave as well.

During the sermon, I had Samantha practice drawing shapes on the palm of my hand. After she finished a shape, I whispered the name to her. I think Jessie's mother might have watched us more than she watched the minister.

When the service was over, we stood and stretched our legs and waited our turn to leave the pew and head towards the back to greet the minister and his wife.

When the minister asked Peggy if David was feeling alright, she merely told him that he was not "in the right frame of mind for church". He nodded sagely and told her that he would remember him in his prayers. She thanked him and moved on.

When it was our turn, of course, he and his wife were all smiles.

"Samantha!" he said. "It's good to see you again. You always listen so attentively..."

"Sam helps me stay quiet," she confessed.

"You do a super job," he told her. "Do you have a special guest with you today?"

"This is Nana," Samantha said. "I'm sorry that I don't know what your name is. I can't introduce you."

"You can call me Pastor Howard," he told her.

He offered his hand to Jessie's mother.

"This is my wife, Nancy," he said. "We're so happy to finally get to meet you. Samantha was very excited to have you join us and we are pleased that you were able to come."

"It was a lovely service," Nana replied with a smile.

She shook both of their hands and then followed me and Samantha. We moved to the sidewalk and then waited for the rest of the group to finish greeting the minister and his wife.

"Jessie said that you usually eat together - and then go to your mother's...," she said quietly. "I don't want to intrude or impose."

"Nana!" Samantha said a bit testily.

I shot her a look to tell her to tone it down a little.

"Sorry," she said, before turning to her grandmother. "I already talked to Sam and Emily. They were excited that you were coming to visit."

"I doubt that...," the woman replied.

"We'd be happy to have you join us," I told her. "We're kind of a close-knit group as you may have figured out. Mom went to school with Lena, David, and Maggie... and then all of us kids... well... most of us attended school together. Alyssa and April are outliers, if there is such a thing but we bond pretty hard so I doubt you'll be able to tell."

"And Jessie... she's *bonding* as well?" the woman asked.

Jessie walked over, hooked her arm through mine, and glared at her mother.

"Seriously, Mother?" she asked.

"I'm just trying to make sure that I understand...," her mother argued.

"Bullshit, Mother," Jessie snarled. "You sat next to him for the last hour and a half and watched him with Samantha. If that didn't resolve every last one of your questions then you and I need to have a long talk..."

"Jessica...," her mother warned.

Jessie turned to look at me.

"Is Sam's car seat in the SUV?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered.

She pulled her keys from her pocketbook and held them out to her mother.

"Apparently, you have decided that you have better things to do with your time today...," she told the woman.

Her mother gaped at her.

"Sam and the others have been nothing short of wonderful to me and my daughter," Jessie told her. "Your veiled insinuations and obvious prying are embarrassing to me. Go home. I'll come get my car later this evening."

"Jessie...," her mother said quietly - almost pleading.

"Why don't you go spend a little quality time with your other grandchildren," Jessie said angrily. "I'm sure Jersey misses seeing you."

I turned to face Jessie. Since her arm was hooked through mine, she had no choice but to turn her face from her mother to me.

"Enough," I said. "You've made your point."

She started to rage at me and then the tears came. I pulled her against me and held her. Samantha kissed her cheek - and glared at Nana. I turned my eyes to the child's. She dropped her glare.

"Sorry, Sam," the child said quietly.

"Remember that you're not the boss of any of the rest of us," I told her quietly. "We love you and care for you but you don't get to be in charge of anybody until you're changing their dirty diapers."

"Ew!" she reacted, grinning at me. "Mommies don't wear diapers!"

"They do when they get really old...," I told her.

She spun to look at her mother - to see if she agreed with my statement. Jessie gave a snort of laughter and hugged the girl. Her tears began to dry.

Once Jessie had her face cleared up, she realized that her mother was holding the keys out to her.

"If it's still okay, I'd like to hang out with you all today," her mother said.

She looked from Jessie to me.

"Good!" Elise said, pinching me on the ass. "We can eat at Sam's favorite place."

Samantha looked from Elise to me and started giggling. Jessie turned to my sister.

"Elise, can you take Samantha with you guys?" Jessie asked. "I want Sam to ride with me and Mom."

Samantha pushed out of my arms, heading for my sister's. Elise kissed me on the cheek and slipped away with the child. I followed Jessie and her mother to Jessie's car.

As soon as we were seated - with Jessie driving and me in the back - Jessie glanced in the rearview mirror at me.

"Julie Peters, this is Samuel Fowler. Sam, I want you to tell my mother how you and I met."

"No," I said.

"Yes," Jessie said. "I don't want her prying anymore. I want her to know everything that there is to know about you so she can decide whether or not she is going to continue to be a part of my and Samantha's lives."

"Jessie...," her mother warned.

Jessie put the car in gear and followed behind Maggie's SUV.

"Maggie had been trying to get Sam hooked up with Jersey...," Jessie explained.

"Jessie...," I groaned.

"You see, Jersey's oldest child - Lucas - was in Sam's class at school."

"Jessie, stop...," I complained.

"Sometime just before graduation, Sam fucked Maggie," Jessie said, glancing at her mother.

Her mother spun to look at me.

"Maggie was recovering from a bad relationship and fell in love with Sam," Jessie said. "Sam was feeling vindictive at the time and made a crazy statement about sleeping with the mothers of every single one of his classmates - 104 women in total. Since he'd already knocked socks with Maggie, he only had 103 to go. It turns out that Maggie used to be in charge of the PTO and had a little black book with every name that Sam needed. Maggie played cards with a dozen of those women - including Sam's mom."

Julie Peters gaped at me.

"I am *not* fucking my mother," I assured her.

"He nailed his sister after she begged for it though," Jessie said.

"Jessie!" I gasped.

"You see, Mom, almost every woman that Sam has fucked - over 70 of them now - they can't help but fall for him... Do you know why?"

Her mother just stared at her.

"You saw him with Samantha," Jessie told her. "Do you have any idea how badly my pussy aches for him when he's like that with my little girl? I keep having to remind myself that Sam wants me to take my pills so that I don't get pregnant yet. I want so desperately to have his child. Ask Jersey how she enjoyed her time with Augie sometime... Jersey was on Maggie's list. A mutual friend convinced me to help Maggie to get Jersey and Augie - or Sam - together. I am *ever* so glad that I did. Not only did he fuck me so good that night, but he pounded that gorgeous cock of his into Jersey so well that she still asks me what happened to him. When he walked out of my door - after fucking the both of us side-by-side on my dining room table - he told Jersey that if she wanted to taste his semen that she'd have to suck it out of my pussy."

"Jessie...," her mother moaned, trying to cover her ears.

"Jersey sucked my pussy dry, Mother," Jessie told her. "I came on your daughter's tongue while she was trying to get Sam's cum out of my vagina."

Her mother looked from her to me and back again.

"Emily's mother was in Maggie's initial group," Jessie continued. "He hid his identity when he fucked her but ended up with Emily because she blackmailed him into having sex with her and the two of them discovered that they are soulmates. He arrived at Emily's house to discover that David - her dad - had hit her mother. He laid David out on the ground with a single punch and threatened to kill him if he ever touched her again. Long story, short, Lena is divorced and David is remarried. Lena is hopelessly addicted to her knight in shining armor. Sam has taken mother and daughter at the same time - but doesn't do that anymore because Emily's not really into it now that April has joined the crew."

"So, that's why...," I murmured.

"You didn't know?" Jessie asked.

"Not really," I said. "I just knew Emily acted like she didn't want to - with her mother anymore."

"She loves sharing you, Sam," Jessie said. "Now that she has April, Elise, and me, though..."

"You?!" her mother asked.

"I'm trying to tell you, Mother," Jessie said. "I'm so fucking in love with this whole group - Alyssa and Brian as well... Mom, they're the weirdest, sexiest, most loving family... and you've seen them with Samantha... They're good for her."

"Jessie...," her mother complained again.

"Decide, Mother," Jessie told her. "They've already offered for Samantha and I to move in. I'm doing it. It's just a matter of how soon they can finish the remodel so that my little girl will have her own room."

Jessie's mother glanced at me. I shrugged my shoulders.

"You're adding a room...," she asked.

"It'll make getting organized in the mornings so much easier," I said. "Plus, we can take turns helping Samantha get ready for school so that Jessie doesn't have to do it all herself."

"This is crazy...," her mother said quietly.

"It's amazing, Mom," Jessie insisted. "You heard your granddaughter talking about her adventure. Maggie took Brian, Sam, Sam's mom, and Emily's mom to the riding stables and kept my daughter occupied all day so that Alyssa, Elise, Emily, and April could take me to the spa. Do you know the last time I got a spa day, Mom?"

"No..."

"Never."

"You could have...," her mother argued.

"With who, Mom?" Jessie asked. "Who would go with me? I should go to the spa by myself?"

Her mother had no argument for that. You could see in her face that she knew that going to the spa with a group of friends was a thousand times better than going by yourself.

"So... I just have to accept this whole...," the woman said bitterly.

"I love you, Samuel Jackson Fowler," Jessie said.

"I love you, too," I told her easily.

"How?" her mother asked. "How can you say that you love her?"