My New Personal Assistant

THOMAS

I sat in my car, just calmly watching the door. I enjoyed this feeling. As if nothing more important existed in my life than this moment I was about to live through. This feeling enveloped me every time, and I grew addicted to it.

.

I smiled, stepped out, took the bags, and locked the car. The door opened.

"Look, daddy is here!" her warm yet tired voice was like a soothing blanket covering me whenever I needed a place to hide. I ran toward them and picked that little boy in my arms. Leaving the bags just lay next to the entrance.

"Hi, little buddy!" He's growing so fast! I felt like, in that week, I hadn't seen him become a whole new person. He was grinning and gave a little chuckle.

"Hi, mommy." I looked at her and realized how tired she was. Yet, she wouldn't stop smiling. "How do you feel?"

"Good, good. Ever since we found out, he laughs more and more. Just the night feedings are a bit tiresome."

"I believe. Do you want me to come sometimes?"

"No. This is the least I worry about now, Tommy. I'm just happy he's not in pain."

"I know. Me too," I laughed at that little boy grinning at me.

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"How is Cortney?"

"She's grateful. She won't say it but trust me, we both are."

"Don't mention it, Dora. I wouldn't be able to stand it, seeing him like that ever again."

Dora sat down and smiled at us.

"When did he eat?"

"Just a few minutes ago."

I looked at my watch. So he needs to be held upright for the next hour. I grinned. "Good. Then go to sleep, Dora. I'm taking care of him."

"Thanks."

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I kissed Dora's forehead and walked with Brian in my arms, talking to him about anything and everything, enjoying his presence and happiness as he watched me and kept grabbing my face. Nothing was more important than this moment. Not a single thing on my mind, just this little life in my arms.

Time flew too quickly with him. Soon the hour was gone. I changed him and reluctantly laid him down on his belly on the carpet in his room. I lay the same way before him, and we played until Dora came to us.

"How are you, Tommy?"

"Overjoyed." I grinned.

"Tommy, he will need to deal with all kinds of emotions. If I can see it, trust me, he does too."

I looked at her but kept my calm smile.

"I'm not sad, Dora, just a bit confused."

"Matt?"

"Yeah," I pulled Brian's hand and covered it with mine. Soon Brian's second hand grabbed mine looking for his. What a cute person, this small child!

.

"he's still ignoring you?"

I laughed wholeheartedly. "Not really. He kind of came over, we had sex, and then he sang to me."

"What?!"

"Mommy is surprised because daddy acts like he's stupid!" I grinned at Brian, and he chuckled. "You see, he finds it funny as well."

"What is going on, Tommy?"

"Right. Do you remember those interviews I scheduled, and he agreed he would try to behave?" I spoke cheerfully, looking at her and that bundle of joy in front of me.

Dora nodded.

"Well, he made each of those poor girls leave before the interview ended, and he made the last one walk out in tears." I made huge eyes as if I had just spoken about an exciting scene in a fairytale. Brian tried to move on his belly and flapped his little arms.

Dora shook her head and crossed her arms. She was sitting behind Brian.

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"Then we nearly had sex in his office."

"After he made that girl cry?"

"Yes. I was soooo angry!" it was surreal to talk this way, but it started to be fun now.

"Right, and the new Tommy deals with being angry like this?"

"Stop mocking me, mommy; I mock myself enough."

"So you did it in his office?"

"No, that would not be enough drama in my life!"

"So what happened?"

"Daddy got really, reeeally stupid and refused to lock the door." Brian chuckled again, and I didn't even feel sad or angry about it now.

.

Dora probably understood where I was going with this. "Who came?"

I clasped my hands with an excited look, and Brian tried to grab them. "Do you remember when I came here, angry and demanding to know why you made me take that position, and you told me you wanted me to give Owen another chance?"

Dora grew sad under the guilt, remembering our talk back then. "Yes."

"Well, guess just who could come?"

"No!"

"Yes!" I spread my hands in a big excited gesture, and Brian turned with a laugh. "That happens when mommy means well but thinks she knows better than daddy about daddy's decisions."

"What happened then?"

"Matt got upset, Owen got flustered, and I wanted to scream my lungs out. Nothing serious."

"Tommy..."

"Dora, I will not break down in front of my son. I didn't even get to the worst part."

"What is the worst part?"

"There is no way in the world I'm talking about this with this boy in the room."

Dora looked at me caringly and came to me, hugging me tight.

.

We spent another while playing until the time came for Brian to go to sleep again. Dora fed and changed him, and I took him in my arms, sitting silently in the dim room. For that hour, we just sat there. I watched him and let him fall asleep on my chest, him hearing my beating heart and me cherishing these moments as every time.

Brian has constantly been crying since he was born. He hadn't been able to sleep for over twenty to thirty minutes and kept crying for hours, obviously in pain. We tried nearly everything, but we were just lost. Then, one day during my research, I stumbled upon silent reflux, and all the symptoms matched Brian's behavior. I asked Dora and Courtney to adhere to the new regime when a child is upright for an hour after each feeding. It was exhausting, but since then, he stopped crying, and for the first time we tried it, he slept for four and a half hours. Dora, Courtney, and I sat beside his crib, watching him the whole time. It was a day I will never forget, and everything has been better since then.

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I watched this little man sleep soundly and just wallowed in this calmness until my watch didn't let me know the hour had passed. I lay him down in his 45-degree angled crib and left the room.

Dora watched the video feed and looked at me. Then, she stood up and hugged me.

"He's amazing."

"Yes, he is."

She watched me intently. "You look troubled."

"I don't. I'm enjoying the time with my son."

"Tommy, what is going on?"

I exhaled and sat down.

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I told her pretty much everything that had happened since we saw each other last weekend. Excluding personal things, Matt had told me. Dora watched me silently with sad understanding.

"Honestly, I can understand why Owen gave such a short version of his story, but I also understand why that is so frustrating for you."

"You and your understanding approach. I don't give a damn."

"But what surprised me most is Matt. Do you really think he can't love you?"

"I believe that he thinks he loves me."

"Then why don't you accept it?"

"I told you, Dora. What is the point? I would spend our time as his secret."

"Maybe not... I mean, Matt is very pro-queer."

"Not when it comes to himself."

"I don't understand that. I mean, when you told me the first time... I would be less surprised if you told me that about pretty much anyone else, but I accepted that. But he must know he's not only heterosexual if he wants to be with you. There must be something more we don't know."

"Again. What is the point?"

"Tommy, you know he doesn't act like just a guy in it for the pain."

"How would you know that, Dora?"

"Fine, then. Does he?"

"Yes!"

"Tommy, do you think he would fight for you that hard if he wouldn't care for you? He could just find some dominatrix or accept the one you mentioned."

"He can't be aggressive with women."

"I know, he's a teddy bear when it comes to women, but maybe it would be..."

"No, Dora, trust me. He couldn't. We had a very intense talk about this." It was not my place to tell her Matt's deepest secrets.

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"Tommy, now listen to me very, and I mean very carefully. I have known Matt for eight years. I have been with him at his lowest and his highest. I saw him with two different girlfriends and in time when he was screwing everything in sight. He never took time off work. Never! Even in times when he was bouncing around like a teenager, cos he got together with Natasha and sent her flowers daily, he never took a day off just to spend it with her. The only people he ever prioritized before the company were three men, whose names I know only because I had them on that special list. Do you know who never got on the special let-in-even-if-the-most-important-meeting-is-happening list?"

I watched her, now knowing why they were so special to him.

"Neither of his girlfriends and I promise you, Tommy. I genuinely believe Matt loved Natasha, especially that first year, even though I don't know if he ever loved her more than Sabrina. But that's ages ago."

"What are you trying to say, Dora?"

"Do you know what was more surprising to me than that you slept together that weekend you haven't come over?"

I shook my head, looking at her confused.

"That he took Monday day off to spend it with you! I swear to you, Tommy, he NEVER missed work if he didn't have a fever. Not only that, he then proceeded to take the whole week off! Why do you think Roger was so freaked out?"

"I know he told me; he was worried Matt was dying. I had to assure him we spoke, and he's fine."

"Tommy, that never happened. He never put anyone else than those four above his company."

.

"Dora. He couldn't love me back then."

"I'm not saying anyone loves anyone. I'm just saying that he's probably the same as you, and he can't really control himself when you are in the question."

"Great, so even you see we are bad for each other."

"You really are stupid, Tommy. Why does it have to be wrong? Do you think it's healthy to prioritize company and work over people whom he considers lovers? Do you think it's healthy to spend time from seven in the morning to nine or ten in the evening in the office?"

"I also don't think it's healthy to base your love on with whom you can fight in bed."

"Said a sexual sadist," Dora looked meaningfully at me.

I scoffed.

.

"Tommy, I'm not saying you should get your hopes up. But he's right. You labeling everything and trying to control everything is not healthy either. Maybe all you two need is just to let go and see where you end up. Who knows, maybe he will break your heart, but what if he's offering exactly what you need?"

"Why do you think so?"

"Honest answer?"

"Of course."

"The way you speak about him. The way you looked when you told me he made love to you. The way you said to me about that day, he tied you and had his way with you." Dora took a deep breath and looked at me gently. "But most of all, the way you spoke about that morning in his apartment. You had that look only talking about one boy ever before - Brian. Tommy, you must know why you are so afraid to love him."

"I do."

"He brings out the emotions when you are with him."

"I'm losing control when I'm with him, Dora."

"Why some control can't be lost?"

"Because it will never be enough for him!"

"If Brian will one day hate you and break your heart, would you despise every fond memory of him and time you spent with him before that?"

"That is different. Brian is my son. He will always be my son."

"Many parents don't love their children, however sad that is, it's true with some. What binds us to people is not just our blood but also the feelings we have for them."

.

"What if he breaks my heart, and I will never be able to trust anyone ever again?"

"You told me this after Owen, Tommy. Yet you fell for Matt harder than anyone before. So fine, be cautious, but how about you just try it? And if it doesn't work out, one man will always need your love. he's sleeping over there." Dora pointed to Brian's room.

I wiped my eyes. I hated that I believed every word she said.

.

"So he's in that cage now?"

"Yes, but he goes away today."

"Why?"

"His wall ended."

"What?"

"Right, sorry, he's meeting his friends tonight."

"Will he come back?"

"Yes. Tomorrow. We agreed that he would bring his things."

Dora just smiled.

.

"By the way, what song he sang?"

I chuckled. "Ring of Fire."

"Who is it from?"

"Johnny Cash."

Dora started laughing. "He doesn't know you hate country music, does he?"

"No."

She looked at me and observed me with a grin. "Wait!"

"What?"

"How do you know it's from Johny Cash?"

"I looked it up."

"Did you listen to it since?"

"It happened only yesterday."

Dora's grin grew wider. "You did!"

"Maybe..."

"How many times have you played that song before you fell asleep?"

I chuckled. "I hate you."

"Nooo, Tommy, that is so sweet!"

"It's not. Matt sang it better than that guy."

"Of course he did." Dora was one huge annoying grin. "So you like country music now?"

"No."

"Just a little?"

"Fine, some songs are survivable."

"Wait. Plural?"

"Well, he kind of played one more when I left."

"Tell me!"

I rolled my eyes. "He asked me if he could borrow a guitar."

Dora smirked. "Right..."

"And then he asked me if I could hear him upstairs. And when I said I could, he just grinned."

"He sang something else?"

"Stop grinning."

"What?!"

"Nothing at first, he just played the guitar, but when I was already in bed and nearly asleep, he started playing "I'd still be there," also from that guy. When he finished, he just shouted: "Good night, Tommy," and went to sleep."

"Oh, Tommy..."

"Just stop it."

"And you had to search that song then."

"I couldn't sleep after that."

"Of course, you couldn't." She had this calm, motherly smile again. I loved her with all myheart.

.

Dora brushed my hair and smiled. "Johny Cash is his favorite artist."

"I've guessed that."

"I'm going to listen to those songs now."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, but then I'm going."

"Do you think he will sing to you every night?"

"I hope not."

"Peter played for you every morning."

"Peter didn't play country, and it was ages ago."

"And you loved it!"

"He didn't play Johny Cash." I looked at her sternly.

"I bet you that you will love Johny Cash by the end of Matt's stay in that dungeon."

"No... I hope not."

Dora just gave me a knowing smile and pulled out her phone to look for Johny Cash's songs.

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I crossed my arms in front of my chest and laid my head on her shoulder, listening to those damn songs.

"I actually like it," Dora said.

"Of course you do," I smiled, leaning against her.

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...

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"Hi," I stood on the stairs, watching him play.

"Hi, how's Dora?"

"She's fine. She sends her regards."

"And Cortney?"

"She was at Ben's gym."

"Right. So you saw Brian? I saw him only twice. What is he like?"

"He's amazing. I go there often."

"So you will be his stern uncle?" Matt grinned.

"Something like that, except I'm fun," I smirked.

"No way! Can I come next time? I want to see you being fun!"

I laughed. "When do you need to leave, Matt?"

Matt looked at me seductively, put down the guitar, and put his hand on the steel bar. "Well, they are coming over around six."

I looked at the wall clock; it was past four. "Then I shouldn't keep you."

"Keep me."

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I smiled and walked over to him.

"Save your strength, Matt." I took the chain from him. Matt took my wrist into his hand and held me. I looked at him and smiled.

"Can I come sooner than tomorrow?"

"You mean in the middle of the night?"

Matt nodded.

"Why?"

"Can I?"

I sighed. "Sure, call me when you are here."

Matt smiled. "You sleep with me. You keep me in the cage and open to me when I come at night. Why, then, are you so adamant that we are not together?"

I grinned back. "You sleep with me; you beg me to lock you in my cage and come over to me in the middle of the night. Despite me being a man." Matt lowered his head with a smirk, knowing what was coming. "Why, then, are you so adamant that you are not bisexual?"

"Because I'm not," Matt whispered.

"You just answered your own question," I smiled.

.

Matt gazed at me. "If I tell you those words, would you let me stay with you?"

"Would you mean them?"

Matt shook his head softly. It carried sadness within it.

"Then never say them." My look grew severe. "Put me through hell, Matt, but never lie to me, especially not in this."

Matt nodded. "I promise."

.

"You should go now."

"I don't have a shirt."

"Then I suppose you would need to drive shirtless."

"Can't you borrow me some?"

"You want to wear my shirt?"

"Do you have some that would fit me?"

I thought for a moment, realizing how much I liked that idea. I shook my head with a smile.

"Come," I led him by the hand up the stairs. I shouldn't have gone to Dora's today; my heart was open like never before... I acted like a fool, but I just didn't want to help it anymore.

.

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For those who followed this timeline way back and are curious: Matt is now about to meet the guys and Nate, who tells them about Rick moving in (Husband of my Homophobic Sister chapter 1.2 from Nate's POV)

I'm not sure if I ever posted the chapter from Nate's perspective here, but I might just do it. Why not? 😁

It's been ages, and honestly, I've reached that stage many authors do where I look back at my 2022 writing and cringe a little. But it seems one feedback arrived at exactly the right moment, and I found myself thinking: why not continue it for the people who still enjoy it, even if I'm not entirely happy with how I wrote it back then?

I still love these guys, and maybe you all deserve the conclusion.

(The whole story is two books and 56 chapters in total though)