Primrose

Primrose- Chapter 5

Life for Dave Hobbes was improving everyday. His labor towards the designed isolation of Adelaide Driscoll, his prize, his bounty of young flesh, his path to quiet revenge against Kourt's rebellion, was right next door. He pondered in many ways how his slowly built labyrinth of lies against Addy was nothing short of masterful. He had no doubt that his father would envy his efforts, his careful plans that he would soon make a reality.

When he inevitably succeeded, he would make sure to tell his father all the details, showing him that he had taken in every lesson he had been taught, and perfected them.

As Dave strummed his guitar, sitting down in front of his computer, he was coming up with a bevy of plans to keep Kourt blind to his ambitions. Accompanying this was an array of contingencies, especially how he could keep his coupling with Addy completely silent.

He looked at the last unread text from his mother Robyn.

"Taking Kourt out to the theater next Wednesday. We will be back late. Even though I know you will decline, if you want to come please let me know."

Even he could admit she was right. The idea of spending hours watching some idiots on stage dawdle about while he had deal with two women he could barely stand was a glimpse of pure suffering. It was it exactly a week. And that was all the time he needed. He queued up FF14.

KingPimp420: Hey Addy.

Loveless04: Hello Dave. How are you?

KingPimp420: I'm struggling with a lot. Some really difficult feelings.

Loveless04: What feelings?

KingPimp420: Feelings about you. Or us. I don't mean to come across heavy.

Loveless04: It does not. I feel for you as well. I know it is not right.

Dave smirked, all his efforts were coming to fruition.

KingPimp420: If it doesn't feel right it's ok.

He paused, choosing every word carefully before he finished.

KingPimp420: But it feels right to me.

Loveless04: But what if Ms. Kourt found out? I don't want to hurt her.

KingPimp420: I'm sorry to tell you this. Kourt hates me. She hates you as well. She called you a "fucking retard" the night we met. I told her it was wrong. But she didn't care. She stopped loving me a long time ago. Before we even moved here.

A torrent of excruciating memories came back to Addy. From years ago, the same painful phrase used to describe her at school.

There were minutes before she responded.

Loveless04: But why? Why would she say that? I like her very much.

KingPimp420: Addy, she's a fraud. She lied to you. To me. And I know from her that your dad feels the same way. I overheard them talking and it was horrifying.

Loveless04: Bradley said that about me?

KingPimp420: He said far worse. I can't even repeat it to you. I could never hurt you like that. But you deserve to know. He called you a waste of space. That you ruined his life. His marriage. He said he wished you were never... no I can't say it.

Addy paused, her fingers hovering over the keyboard, hungering to deliver a response. She felt a stinging betrayal that lingered in her eyes as she cried, knowing that everyone around her had lied to her. This was her chance, to be with someone who cared for and loved her.

KingPimp420: I'm sorry Addy. To tell you this. But I'm telling you it because I love you.

Loveless04: You mean that right? They don't love me. I thought they cared because they all said they did.

KingPimp420: With all my heart and soul.

Loveless04: Thank you.

She didn't know if she did, she responded because it felt right, she wanted it to be right. She wasn't even sure what love was, what it felt like, from another. She thought she had felt something for Maverick, but never knew exactly what.

KingPimp420: I know your birthday is coming up. I need to speak with you soon. In person. I found a time where we could maybe be alone. Next Wednesday.

Loveless04: Ok. Talk to you soon.

When Dave saw she had logged off, he closed the launcher, grinning in unbridled excitement. He had won.

***

Bradley had resumed his quasi-solitary life in Primrose. Never isolated, never alone, but never truly fulfilled but the presence of anyone. Despite his intentions to reach Addy, she remained mute. She barely mustered single word answers whenever he attempted to ask her anything.

Work for him wasn't an outlet or even technical passion, it was just a series of tasks spread out across works days and travel. At night he wanted to text Kourt, just to tell her that he missed her, missed their time together.

He was sure she felt the same way, that maybe the same time he sat with unsent paragraphs of drafted texts he would soon delete, she'd done the same. Every time he passed their house, all he could feel was a sense of profound loss. "You're acting like a dumbass." He told himself, all the while denying it's exactly how he behaved when he met Em. Yet this was different, it wasn't just magnetism or attraction, it wassomuch more.

After long days and nights, Bradley would go to the garage to box. Hitting, without hurting anyone helped pummel and quell his own pains. Whatever ailed him, became a part of that bag. It felt good for him to be breathless, have his muscles strained, feel only the moment. Settling down on the stool nearby to drink water, the feelings came back, his reprieve already gone.

The shower helped ease the soreness, and sometimes managed to help him staypresent. A constant source of frustration for him since he learned of the term in therapy. At this time, he needed more than just forgetting, he wanted to remember. Kourt's touch, her lips, her breath and chest against his, that comfortable warmth they shared between every kiss and passing of their hands against each other.

It was slow, the gentle beads of water from the shower head caused his skin to prickle as he worked himself to fullness, his strokes deep, hard, the water running down his chin and chest, a sensation that helped him focus. His eyes shut, imagining Kourt nearby, waiting for him in his bed, the vision of her at the pool he could see with vivid clarity, even the tiniest freckles on her chest and cheeks didn't escape his gaze.

He tightened his grip, and slowed, feeling himself lurching closer to release. The steam of the shower clamored up his legs as he tensed, increasing his speed, hand gripping against the tile, as he gritted his teeth and came, feeling his thighs clench as his breath ceased for a brief moment of ecstasy that crashed as soon as he finished shooting a thick load atop the drain, the drops of the shower soon carrying the pearlescent cum down with its descent.

He finished cleaning himself, his brief moment of pleasure provided another distraction until he could get into bed to fall asleep. Inevitably the next day would begin and he would repeat the cycle endlessly.

***

Through long days and even longer nights, Kourt found herself longing for a man she could never have. A life she was denied by oaths, vows, and conditioning that wasn't her choice. The cautions of her friends from so long ago, against her continued marriage to Dave, opened up all her wounds of insecurities, the irony of this charade of denial she had conducted for years, left a distasteful bile in her mouth at the thought of it all.

Every inch of Dave was a revolting testament to how caustic of a presence he was in her life. A constant source of discomfort, a burden to her pleasure, to her future, to her freedom.

Yet, she still tolerated him. Every time she saw him, she recoiled from his rare attempt at touch, and was now fine with him sequestering himself away in his mancave. After all, it wasn't that different of a routine for the past six years. He never had a reason to try because he never cared, and with every second she saw him for who and what he was. That long spell he had cast, was coming to a close.

She didn't have time for that now, she didn't let her desires linger. She focused. She proved herself with every tasking and follow up that corresponded with the VP position. She was driven, ready to commit, so she could escape Primrose, with or without Dave. Every further application she put in, she emphasized:Willing to move for work.

She hoped she could leave, preferably alone. Leaving Dave to settle for the hollow fantasy he had constructed, being forced to realize that he had leeched everything from her. All her accomplishments he had stolen, claimed as his own, stated endlessly that he was the reason why she succeeded. When she now knew, he was the reason she was held back from greater ambitions.

But there was still a glimmer. A shard of a broken, imbalanced marriage, where she somehow, against all she had knew hoped Dave could change. That her words would reach him, that somehow he could find his way to those halcyon days long ago. When she would see something other than complete disregard and apathy on his face, or at least an attempt at warmth in her presence. She knew this too was a lie she told herself for years.

She picked up her phone and went to text Bradley. Her thumbs hovered as she pondered her prior thoughts. She began drafting her text.

"Hey B! It's been a while. I miss you. I was thinking we could get coffee again like we used to. I'm on my sixth round of the current interview for the VP position! I'd love to tell you about it. It's so cool, if I get it, I'll be able to help manage programs that make sure underprivileged students have access to better software. It's nerdy but you know me!

I know this is heavy. But I can't stop thinking about us. I know we agreed. But I hope you feel the same. I love-"

She paused, looking over the message again. She deleted the draft and sat her phone down.

***

When Kourt had left with Robyn to go to the theater, Dave had made sure to prepare accordingly. This manipulation was a different exercise in dominance and pleasure. He couldn't ply Addy with spirits and wine to ease her nerves, and lower her restraint. Although, he figured he would at least try.

Dave had known that for someone like Addy, a simple gift was what it would take to continue the deception that he cared. With little effort and a few screenshots, he was able to have custom art commissioned of Addy's FF14 character. The art was tailored to his specifications, in a style that he knew she would love. There was no better way to show he cared, even though he couldn't give less of a shit.

When he heard that fated knock on the back patio door, and saw her standing there, turning her head side to side, nervous she would be seen, that she would become part of Primrose's legacy of betrayal and scandal, he had to stop himself from laughing at his looming success.

Adjusting his ill fitting polo, he walked over and opened the patio door slowly, when she had the breadth to enter she quickly squeezed by him. She had already started braiding her hair from her waist, stepping behind a wall to conceal herself, her back towards him, her palms sweating, the clack of the blinds chain being pulled was all she heard outside her hurried breathing.

"Leave."

Her inner voice couldn't beg, plead, or bargain, all it could do was repeat verbal missives to exit before she couldn't. Yet, she had felt that voice was a betrayer in wait, it didn't keep her safe, it made her what she was in the eyes of others, unseen and unwanted. She didn't want to feel that way anymore.

"Leave."

That same voice repeated, detached, observant but true. But she would silence it. She turned slowly, the dining room space was different than she remembered. It seemed larger, less alive, Apollo and Rocky in their kennels, snoring lightly, lost in a deep sleep, paws twitching as they dreamed. A small cake was on the table, a single flickering candle on it, asides from a dim bulb that hung above, it was the only light in the room.

Dave walked alongside the table and ushered the cake towards her. "Happy Birthday Addy."

She stopped braiding her hair, clutching her hands together at her waist, the deep recessed bags under her eyes easily seen by the flickering dance of shadows from the melting candle. "Thank you Dave. This is very nice of you."

He cut a slice of the cake, red velvet, her favorite, which he had discovered months ago. "Are you doing anything cool to celebrate?"

"Yes. Bradley said next weekend we would go to Disney. He's working very late tonight."

He fought the urge to smugly gloat about his preparations. As he confirmed earlier from a simple call to Bradley's office, he knew he would be gone. With Kourt away with Robyn, he had just the window of time he needed.

Dave made an attempt to smile, and to anyone else it would have been comical. "Well, that's why can celebrate today. That's what makes it so special."

She sat down, neatly eating. "Yes I was always specific about it when I was younger."

"Me too. It's crazy how much we have in common. I've always thought that was I dunno, kind of romantic."

She paused, the piece of cake balanced on her fork as she forced herself to meet his eyes. "You mean that?" She couldn't even utter the wordromantic.

Dave smiled. "Of course. You know that what we have is special. Hey. I got you a birthday gift. I had it made just for you, I didn't want to just get you something from a store. You deserve so much better."

He left and came back with a cardboard tube, a simple black bow tied around it. She took off the cap and pulled the small canvas out. The art of her character from FF14 was clear, she carefully rolled it back up inside the tube and struggled to offer a smile, showing the slightest of her square, pristine teeth. "Thank you so much. I never received a gift like this."

"I figured you would enjoy it. Your character is like a part of you. Kind of like how you're a part of my life."

His words felt off to her. She couldn't tell or know how. The tone, or the way he sounded, the way his stare was too direct. She second guessed herself. She had been wrong in the past. Eating another piece of the cake she noticed how dry it was. At first it seemed moist and nostalgic, like the cakes Em used to bake for her when she was young.

Dave stood and headed towards the kitchen, rummaging around for spirits. "Can I get you something to drink? Wine? Maybe a cocktail?"

She shook her head firmly. "I am twenty years old. Not twenty one. It is prohibited."

"That's ok. I get it. It's not for everyone. And you're not like everyone... in the best way."

"Thank you for the cake. I am finished now."

He took the plate and put in the garbage. "Want anything else to drink, water?"

"Yes. I prefer water or lemonade if you have it."

Which he had made sure he had lemonade, she had told him numerous times how much she enjoyed it. He couldn't believe her preference stemmed from when she was young and ran her own lemonade stand. Which to him, was utterly stupid, just like she was in his eyes. He turned his back, went to the fridge with an emerald tinted glass. She heard the loud filling of the cup against the backdrop of silence, he lingered for a while before closing it. He set the cup on the counter. "Here you are."

She held the glass, its was freezing to her fingers. "I cannot drink this, it hurts my hands to hold it. Do you have a straw?" In the low light, avoiding his face, she couldn't see his frown as he took the lemonade back.

"Sorry. No straws. That's ok. If you need anything else, let me know."

"Yes I will Dave. Thank you."

Dave watched her nurse her hand and warm it inside her hoodie. He could tell he was getting closer. Initiative was all he needed. And if it wasn't meant to be this night, it would be soon. He shifted and leaned over the bar top towards her. "Can I kiss you?"

It wasn't the first time she had been kissed by someone, but it was the first time she had been asked. Her heart raced, the dimensions of the room collapsed, she could hear the whooshing in her eardrums, the names she had been called before, all of them becoming an indecipherable noise. She remembered the way the man she thought loved her, laughed and mocked her after her ruin. She could still hear his voice with complete clarity. She closed her eyes and leaned forward and down, unsure of how to purse her lips. Pushing away the voice that spoke again.

"Leave."

When she felt his lips on hers, it felt wrong. It registered as a kiss, but the whirring sound around her didn't stop, she felt dizzy. When her eyes opened, he had taken off his glasses. She grimaced and backed away. "I can't. I am sorry. Ms. Kourt... This does not-"

He frowned, his stubby fingers interlocking with hers as he stepped forwards, gently pulling her towards him. "It's ok. Trust me. Even if it's just... one time."

"One time? You mean-"

"I mean whatever happens. We can just keep it between us. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. I'm not that kind of guy. It's just... I really like you Addy. In fact I love you."

"You love me? I know you have said it before, but are you sure?"

"Of course. I've never lied to you, have I?"

"No. But others have."

"It's alright. I can tell you're ok with it. Right?"

She paused, the dark room felt larger, the dining room table was impossibly longer, the whooshing in her ears didn't go away, its volume increased until she couldn't hear a word he was saying anymore. Her own internal voice was a labyrinth of static, what had happened to her before, she couldn't rationalize, couldn't understand. She asked herself if it was happening again, if she would be taken advantage of, left with more than just her mouth violated like last time.

In that moment she couldn't see his face, only a swirling mass where it was, an empty space that drained and swallowed the light around it. She was growing numb, the same voice, now muted and further hidden in her head let out its last dying caution.

"Leave."

He began leading her to the stairs. They stretched out before her in the same manner as the dining room. He looked over his shoulder and smiled at her, teeth slightly crooked, ushering her up. Was it malice she saw? Was it excitement? What did he intend? The questions were numerous, the answers left unknown, each step, each thought, each fear, turned into a weight that left her rigid, limbs complying only out of doubt. Accepting because of needing to be wanted.

Dave opened the door to their bedroom, The bed was perfectly made, the comforter a pleasant grey, bedposts oaken and tall, an old vanity near the closet, easy to identify as Kourt's. Addy saw the photos of Kourt, the places her and Dave had been, her graduations, her ceremonies, her friends that were now gone, this space was her life, something sacred.

She heard him speak. Whatever words he uttered she didn't hear, her gut churned, sweat forming around her brow as she hurried to bite her cuticles, drawing blood on each digit.

"It's ok. Whatever happens, right?" He stepped towards her, his small hands clutching at her bony waist, even under her hoodie. It was completely repulsive to him. Flat and angular, the opposite of what he deserved and wanted. All of her was an offense to him. But, attraction didn't matter. This was about satisfaction to him, she was nothing more than a fuckhole attached to a gangly, androgynous scarecrow.

He hated her stupid haircut, her lack of makeup, her inability to wear anything other than the same damn hoodies all the time, and her stupid fucking camouflage hat. He hated her nearly concave chest, and he especially hated that constant stare with her boring, dead, hideous eyes. But he tolerated it. Even though their first kiss almost made him throw up, the taste of tobacco fresh on her lips was utterly vile to him. It didn't matter. He had her there for one specific reason, and kissing didn't factor into it at all.