Primrose

Primrose- Chapter 6

If there was one aspect that Em enjoyed more than anything in her exquisitely crafted machinations, it was the delivery of the killing stroke. The moment where she could feel every strand of the deranged tapestry she had woven, become a noose around the neck of her victim. Which is why she had to find the perfect chair for Dave Hobbes' reckoning.

Rich was whistling, absentmindedly perusing the chairs in front of Em."Heya. I know we're here to buy a chair but don't we have a garage full of them?"

Em ran her nail down the trim of a Brutalist inspired slab of rock carved into a chair. "No... too cramped. I want him to becomfortable. At first that is."

Rich leaned in close. "Earth to Em?"

"Sorry hon. The chair? It'll be used only one time. Well, maybe more. Depends on how he reacts. Or you know. Survives."

"You're crazy. I love it. Hey did you see the bathroom anywhere?"

"Rich, this isn't a barn, it's a luxury chair consultation and design center. Go piss in a cup outside."

"This isn't IKEA? Wild. I'll be by the car. You sure I can just piss in a cup outside?"

"Hon, would I lie to you?" She was, of course, lying. Outdoor urination was strictly against Primrose's ordinances.

He kissed her on the cheek and ran outside. She continued studying dozens of chairs. She knew what she was looking for. A chair that would hold Dave's flabby, misshapen body as she gleefully watched his confidence, arrogance, andmanhoodeviscerated. She headed down the aisle, a gallery of spotlighted potential as she glowered and dismissed so many with a wave of her hand. As if destined, she had found the canvas for what would become her masterpiece.

She ran a long nail down its arm, a chill corresponding down her back. It was an Arne Jacebsen "Egg Chair" in cowhide, by Fritz Hansen, at a modest cost of $17,619.00. "Chump change. I'll spare no expense for that sniveling little man-egg's end. The cowhide is fitting for someone barely above a farm animal in worth." She of course knew she was talking aloud, with no audience except herself and a single employee at the end of the store who was ignoring who wouldprobablybe the most insane customer of the day.

Em grumbled as she snapped her fingers at the salesman, a taciturn younger man who exuded professionalism. His name tag read: Zeke- The Saleshole.

"Hi. Zecky? Ze-kee? Whatever. I want this chair."

The young man nodded. "Very well." He returned to the front to prepare the chair for its delivery.

Em tapped her finger across her lips, thinking out loud once more. "Maybe when I'm done with that disgusting fuck, I'll turn him into a chair. Closest he'll get to a woman's pussy again. Or maybe a living urinal. Decisions decisions."

She licked her lips, turning in her $5970.00 Paciotti dagger heels with a startling grace, paid and left with only one thought on her mind.

Vengeance.

As she exited, Rich was outside holding a ticket. "Hey babe. I got fined for uhh... public urination."

She turned her head and threw her crimson hair over her shoulders, biting her wrist to stifle what would have been a booming laugh. She cleared her throat. "Oh hon, I'm so sorry. I guess I got the law wrong."

He shrugged. "No big. Was weird though, the security guy told me it was also Primrose Penis Inspection Day."

"Rich... that's not a thing."

"Really? Damn. Dude even snapped a photo of my hog. Told me it had to go into the penis registry in the tunnel."

Em closed her eyes and sighed. "God you're such an idiot. I love you."

"Ha. Love you too." He kissed her on the neck and again on the lips. She deftly opened her mouth, tongue sliding against his like velvet. "Careful hon. We don't want public indecency charges do we?"

He grinned as he playfully slapped her ass. They headed back towards her Ferrari. Sitting atop the hood was a Styrofoam cup. Em crossed her arms under her bust, giving Rich a taste of what he would be missing out on for his transgression. "Rich. Is that a cup of piss on the hood of my Rari?"

"Huh? Oh yeah. Sorry. If it makes you feel better it's my piss. Not like that one time-"

"Really?Sorry?That's it? Nothing else?"

"Umm let me think..."

"Youthinkingis a war crime. Get rid of that cup and get in the car."

Rich complied, throwing the cup over his shoulder, it splashed against the sidewalk. The drive back was slow, Em grinning all the while. "You know, just for that Rich, you don't get to watch tonight."

He slapped his knee in disappointment. "Babe come on, it was an accident. That's-"

"Shut up hon. You're lucky I didn't make you drink it. Wait... that's a great idea. Write that down for me."

"Huh? Why?"

"Oh... just planning for the future. I always like to be prepared."

"Yeah kind of like uhh Boy Scouts or Army guys. You know the guys with the guns?"

"Jesus fucking Christ Rich you are beyond stupid. I love it."

He nodded and smiled. "Yeah it's pretty cool. Hey, want me to make us some carbonara with that guanciale I got?"

She smiled, earnestly and lovingly. "I would adore that. You know I hate working on an empty stomach."

He raised an eyebrow. "Hey wait a minute you don't work... do you?"

"No. But you know I have plenty of side gigs. And this is a big one. Maybe the biggest of all."

"I don't know, you took some prettybig onesin your time."

She ugly laughed in response.

***

Kourt's phone buzzed and she saw Bradley's name, her heart flitted. No matter how simple the questions or observations he sent to her, they always came from the same place of warmth, fueled by the rarest component of most relationships economies:

Sincerity.

She had finished blow drying her hair, and read his text. "Good morning! I was thinking about honeymoons. I don't want to rush. I know we've talked about names for the little one, and I love the ones you chose."

She slowly sat on their bed, completely oblivious to Dave's presence in the corner of the room. He was talking to her in animated form, but she had learned to completely ignore any word he said now. She texted Bradley back, mischief and love in her eyes as she scrolled through the scandalous texts sent between them. She was even more amused that Dave could never guess the password to her phone. Which she had changed to: "Ifuckinghatedave".

She left the room, and sent her text. "OMG really? A honeymoon? Dave and I didn't go on one. He said Taco Bell and camping in the backyard was good enough. And names? I'm still so scared about what others will say."

His text was near immediate. "People will talk. We don't have to answer them."

She nodded as she looked at the screen, not even wanting to entertain the idea that this love wouldn't remain forever between them. But a disembodied voice resembling her grandmother told her "This was meant to be."

Kourt smiled, deciding on the name Eloise if it was girl, after her grandmother. To Kourt there was no greater way to honor the woman who had told her a long time ago, "You can be happy one day. You just have to choose it, or letitchoose you." Fated words that now rang true with clarity. She was choosing happiness.

***

Robyn had never slept in a bed that was clean or made by anyone but her. Slowly blinking away her heavy sleep, she saw Samuel bringing her breakfast. She pinched herself, thinking she was caught in some cruel deluded fantasy that would dissolve upon her waking, fearing she would see andsmellArthur by her side.

Samuel set the tray down in front of her, at its top was a vibrant, freshly cut Bougainvillea in a small emerald vase. Beside it, freshly squeezed orange juice with a smattering of pulp drifting across the surface. On a porcelain plate, organic eggs sunny side up, along with an artful arrangement of bacon.

She cupped her hands over her mouth. "Goodness gracious. I... I've never-"

He kissed the top of her head and soon her neck. "A simple gesture."

She nodded, still entranced by the tray, carefully studying the rare flower she had never seen before. "This is-"

"Simply enjoy my dear. Today, I've arranged a simple trip to Tarpon, to see the sponge docks."

"A trip? What? Gosh! I can't-"

"My dear, it's only an hour away. I believe you'll enjoy it. A fascinating location integral to Florida's history. Well... what remains of it." He sighed. "I digress. Do you mind if I accompany you while you eat?"

The question to her seemed baffling, given that last night had been a continuation of her sexual awakening. She fondly remembered the sweet young man she had met at the rainy rest stop driving down, the empowering words he offered, the attentiveness, but Samuel was different. Men could be different. She was learning a new touch. New sensations. New emotions. Respect and gratitude, lust and empowerment."I don't mind at all. Thank you."

He slid into bed, settling behind her and slowly massaging her shoulders, removing each knot effortlessly. "So much tension. With time it'll go away."

She delicately took a bite out of her bacon. "You're right. All things go away eventually." Nearby she picked up her phone to see an endless series of insulting, demeaning texts from Arthur. "Samuel. Could you text that number from your phone and tell my bastard of a husband that I'm occupied?"

"It would be my pleasure." As Samuel texted Arthur, she felt his hardening cock throb against her back. She leaned back towards Samuel, her fingers teasing his thighs, enjoying the spoils of freedom as his hands artfully removed the ache in her neck, along with the memories of her failure of a husband.

***

Em woke up and opened her little black book, a smoldering tome containing chronicles of forbidden lust, depraved spectacles, unparalleled conquests, and grocery lists. Her Montblanc pen scratched across the paper with ease, checking boxes that would finalize Dave Hobbes' demise. She reached for her phone and texted Kourt and Dave.

"Besties! It has been way too long. We'd love to have you over for coffee. 10:00 am! Be there or I'll put a pipe bomb in your car! Parody non actionable. :) "

Minutes later, she received a confirmation text from Kourt. Em grinned, her vicious blue eyes narrowing, as she snapped her fingers at Rich. "Hoooon! Could you come here for a second?" She hastily grabbed the small carton of creamer from the kitchen.

Rich yawned and stretched, his black hair a complete mess, his pajama bottoms sagging. "Mornin' beautiful."

Em gestured for him to come closer with her finger. His eyes widened with excitement. "Hell yes. It's been what... two weeks? I didn't break my promise either! I didn't jack off once."

"Good. I knew you had some restraint hon." She opened the small carton of creamer placing it on the table in front of them.

"Damn this is kinky as hell."

"So, I have a little plan my darling. Now let me get to work."

Em pulled Rich's bottoms down freeing his painfully stiff cock, taking it in her hand.

He sighed in relief. "Fuck I've been so horny. You have no idea."

"Oh I know hon. I saw you went to touch your cock when I was trying on that new lingerie set. You know... the one I got to wear that for someone else."

She began driving her fist down slowly to his hilt, her fiery glare driving him wild as she looked up. Her full lips hovered over the tip of his cock as she spat down his shaft, tightening her grip towards the base and softly running it back up.

Rich winced with pleasure. "Fuuuuck you are so good at this. Who was it?"

"I'm better thangood. I'm the fuckingbest. And well, as for who it was, I think I'll keep that a secret. Between me... and her."

"Holy fuck. Shit was it Karen?"

She let go of his cock. "Cucks like you don't get to know. But I can say this hon, she made me cum harder than you ever have."

He bit his bottom lip, barely able to restrain himself. "I'm so close, holy shit."

"Cum. I want you to cum like the loser you are. You're only fit for a uhh...milk carton?" He groaned in release as she angled his cock, as it sprayed long ropes of cum into the carton, spilling off the edges. Em carefully pinched and pushed the strands back into the cream. "Perfect."

Rich was still puzzled. "Damn. Is this like a new health thing? I know you've done some weird stuff before. Remember that steam thing you would hover over to clean your vag?"

She raised an eyebrow, alongside a forced expression of bewilderment. "What is going on with you? What are you talking about? You sound insane."

"I could have sworn that was a thing."

It was indeed athing. "No, no this isn't for me. It's for dearest little Dave."

"Wait, for real?"

"Yes. I'm gonna make sure he drinks your cum."

"Why?"

"Because It's funny. He's a growing manchild, he needs protein."

Rich shrugged, out of all her diabolical antics, this was relatively banal. Especially compared to the potato salad incident two years ago. Something so horrifying it made him shudder upon recollection. "You think he'll notice?"

"I hope he doesn't honestly. Much funnier that way!"

"Haha good point. You sure you don't want to tell me whoshewas?"

"I don't kiss and tell hon. At least not with you. But if you behave I'll tell you what I did later with her... and him."

"Fuck you're such a tease!"

"Put some clothes on. We have company arriving."

***

Em heard a knock at the door, and licked her lips, delighted to commit to memory what Dave looked like before she ruined whatever smug light remained in his eyes. She opened the door and offered an embrace to Kourt. "Hon! You look so good!"

Kourt did not look good. She couldn't hide the anger that strained her face into a grimace. Dave in comparison, looked well rested, aloof and content, hisvictorystill fresh on his mind.

Em cleared her throat, shutting the door behind them as they entered. "So, you'll LOVE this. I have some incredible coffee, and beautiful organic lavender scones with lemon zest. Freshly baked by Rich. I'll serve, take a seat!"

Dave slumped over in their nook. Em took to her role as amateur barista. "So Dave? You take a lot of cream and sugar right?"

"Yeah. I want to taste something other than dirt."

"Oh don't worry, I have some very special cream. You'll love it." When Em opened the top of the carton, she could still see Rich's thick, iridescent cum between the cardboard spout, spread like webs. She poured it into the coffee mug, laughing all the while, drawing the attention of everyone. "Sorry, just thought of a joke, about... stuff."

She quickly placed the cup in front of Dave, leaning down, her face far too close to his as he took a sip of it, his eyes squinting behind his fogging glasses. "This tastes weird."

"Oh it's probably the cream. It's all natural. It comes from a rare Peruvian rattlesnake."

"Snakes have milk?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Duh."

They all looked bewildered, halfway to believing the absurdity of Em's claim. She slapped her thigh. "Guys. I'm kidding. Lighten up!"

Kourt didn't even smile, she just stared at her coffee, holding her stomach, feeling a rising bile, at the man across from her. Dave scoffed as he looked back, quickly drinking the hot coffee despite how it burned his tongue. Em ran back to the kitchen, not wanting to waste her perverted elixir. "Hey Dave, do you need a top off of cream?"

"Yeah. This stuff is nowhere near as good as I could make it. I was a barista for a-"

Em emptied what was left of the carton into Dave's coffee. "Drink up buttercup!" She watched with wonder as he brought the cup to his lips and drank. "Oh Dave, you got a little on your upper lip."

He licked it clean. Em couldn't help but smile, she wanted to scream to everyone that he was drinking another man's cum. But she chose to demonstrate restraint. "Well, looks like it's girls time! Rich, could you keep Dave entertained by talking about... Persian mythology or Lord of the Rings? Whatever."

"Haha. Sure thing. So Dave, you ever read The Silmarillion?"

Dave rolled his eyes. "Tolkien's a hack. You should read the fantasy book I'm writing. It's pretty high brow stuff. It's about a warrior named Dav and his harem-"

"Yeah uhh... so anyways, in The Silmarillion-"

***

Em and Kourt hurried to the back porch. Kourt nearly tripped over a chair before collapsing in one. Em sat close by. "Kourt. What's wrong?"

Kourt began rubbing her temples and softly sniffling, "I'm pregnant." She offered her phone, which displayed a photo of a positive test. Em quickly snapped a photo of it and handed the phone back. She feigned shock and dismay, mostly proud of her performance. She was getting better at acting,despiteSamuel's claims to the contrary. "You? Of all people?"

Kourt nodded, shedding pointless tears. "Bradley's the father."

"Does he know?"

"Of course. I wanted it. We wanted it. We let it happen. Which is insane. We know it is. Last week he took me to my first OBGYN appointment."

"Are you going to tell Dave?"

Kourt bit her lip and tried to maintain her strained composure. "Yes. Eventually. I don't want to be with him anymore. Even before Bradley and I, well... you know, did the deed."

Em rolled her eyes playfully. "He knocked you up hon. Just say it."

To her surprise, Kourt giggled, but quickly fell back to melancholy. "Dave makes me miserable. I... I hate him. He kept accusing me of cheating and I did. What does that make me?"

"What it makes you, is a woman who's been wronged. He isn't the man for you. He's not. even aman. He's insecure, petty, mean, arrogant, and above all, abusive. You can dress it up however you want; with whatever excuses society makes for losers like him, but we both know it's bullshit."

Kourt sniffled, she knew that Em was right. Dave didn't ever care about her. He was a blighted parasite affixed to her, rotting her future from within and remaining a corporeal reminder of a regretful past.

Em leaned back in her chair, observing a group of Sandhill cranes stalk the dunes of the golf course, their long necks bobbing with each step, stealthily patrolling, until one's head snapped down, its beak clenching shut around the neck of a lizard, breaking it, a proper hunter savoring its prize.

Kourt coughed into her hand. "We'll do anything it takes to be together. Even when I decided to leave, I didn't want to leave without Bradley. He was the only thing keeping me here anymore."

Em remembered the pain she felt when she and Bradley left each other, and the words he spoke to her on that fateful day when their divorce papers were signed.

"I love you enough to let you go."

And he did. Em was free, and happy, at the cost of his heart, and the respect of her daughter. She blinked back a tear, struggling to reconcile who she was, and what she had done. But she knew through this opportunity, she could makerightall that what was wrong. "So, what are you going to do?"

"We don't know. Eventually we'll have to tell the truth."

As the cranes flew away, Em stood. "It'll be ok. I'll help you guys. I know a lot of lawyers, so don't worry."

"Why are you helping us? Are you getting y'know...soft? Gawsh that sounds naughty."

"I'm losing my edge I suppose"" She chuckled whimsically. "Who am I kidding? I'm doing it because it's funny. Can you imagine? Dave the little bitch losing the greatest thing that ever happened to him?"

Kourt mustered a smile, the idea of Dave even suffering remotely for what he had done to her, was at least darkly comical.

"So Kourt, where have you and Bradley been having thesedetestableliaisons?"

"He's been renting out a hotel room for us. We go on dates a lot. The other day he took me to see the penguins at The MOTE. I love penguins!"