Why Did I Wait My First Time

She stepped back to get a better look and said, "What is that on your neck?"

She reached out and ran her fingers over the bruise. It was round and purple and located at the nape of my neck. It was obvious someone put it there during the height of a passionate make out session, and she knew who it was.

She said, "What the fuck? What did you do?"

She paused briefly and then said, "Wait, I do not want to hear about it, and I do not what any bullshit rationalizations from you. I cannot deal with this right now. I need to go."

She finished changing and left quickly. I tried to talk to her, but she was not having any of it.

There was no explaining or trying to rationalize what happened between me and Rocky. The evidence was the hickey on my neck and Layna knew exactly what that meant. She told me she noticed how Rocky was looking at me at the rehearsal dinner. She suspected he had more feelings for me than just being friends. She even joked that he might make a move on me when we went to bed that night.

It was no joke, and I started it by blowing him that afternoon. The deed was done before she made that provocative comment. I remember thinking at the time that I would eventually have to tell her. I loved her and we had a meaningful relationship. If marriage was in our future, I would have to tell her about this newly discovered aspect of myself. I could not keep this a secret. What I did with Rocky made me realize I had homosexual inclinations, but I wanted to tell her at a suitable time and on my terms.

Divulging my homosexual desires is an irrelevant point now. She does not know the full extent of what we did but she knows something happened. She was unaware that it was me that initiated things and what happened last night was a carry-over from me blowing him yesterday afternoon. All she knows about is the hickey. Her imagination must be running wild, but I suspect she does not realize the full extent of what me and Rocky did the last twenty-four hours.

I sucked his cock in the basement. Then a brief time later we passionately made out on the patio where he sucked my cock while he fingered my ass, and I had the most intense ejaculation of my life. That night he fucked me, I fucked him, we cleaned each other, fell asleep, but later he woke me up blowing me so we sixty-nined. I came he couldn't, so he fucked me again. The next morning, we blew each other in the shower. At some point during all that action he left a hickey on my neck. That is what she saw. What would she think If she knew the full extent of what we did?

I'm mortified she saw that hickey. I knew it was there, and the collar of my dress shirt covered it all day, but I forgot about it. Rocky and his family had an emergency and had to leave right after the wedding. They were supposed to stay the whole weekend. I was really looking forward to having a couple more nights with Rocky. After the reception, when Layna and I got back to the house, I was preoccupied obsessing about Rocky leaving and forgot all about the mark he left on me when I took my tuxedo off. That was a serious mistake. When she saw it, she flipped.

I love Layna. Watching her all night at the wedding reception I felt like she was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. She is compassionate and loving and she is always doing kind things for me and everyone else. She is the least selfish person I know. I am lucky to have her, and I know it. I do not want to lose her. It is not only her generous personality, but she is beautiful and sexy, and sex with her is incredible.

Rocky is a close friend, and the sex we had was more erogenous than I expected it to be. The sex did intensify my feelings for him, but it was a heat of the moment intensity. It was not a long-lasting emotional connection. It certainly was not what I feel for Layna. I love her. I feel a strong connection to Rocky, but it is not love.

I certainly liked the sex with him. Having homosexual intercourse is something I crave now. I realize that I am open when it comes to sex, but I do not see him replacing her as my life partner. I still have a strong sex drive for woman, and I have a very deep emotional connection to Layna.

The next day I called Layna. She didn't pick up. I was scared that I really fucked things up with her. My heart was aching thinking I may have lost her because of one heated gay sex encounter. I started thinking about how I would feel if she had sex with someone else. Would it matter if it were a woman or a man? I would be devastated that she cheated on me, but I would feel worse if it was with a man. Thinking of her naked body in a passionate embrace while having intercourse with some other guy would drive me crazy, and not in a good way. I know I broke her heart by cheating on her, but did I make it worse doing it with another guy. Can she forgive me for being weak this one time. She is beyond upset with me. Is it the cheating or is it the homosexuality?

A week later she finally called me back. She said we had to talk. She said she was home alone and for me to come over right away.

I got there quickly.

I walked into her house, and she told me to sit on the couch. She sat in a chair across the room from me.

She looked at me for a long time then said, "I have been doing a lot of thinking about you and me. I was shocked when I saw that mark on your neck, and I knew instantly what it meant. To tell you the truth after having time to think about this situation I realized that I was not that surprised."

"The way you talked about Rocky over the years I always suspected there was something sexual between you two. When I met Rocky and saw how you two acted together and specifically how he looked at you I felt my suspicions were correct. I know many young boys experiment with each other and that it is natural curiosity. I could not fault you for that. It had been a long time since you have seen him and with you guys sleeping in the same room, I could see how old desires could reawaken."

She continued, "I suspected that you had some homosexual tendencies. Not only because I thought you and Rocky had already been sexual together, but also observations I have made. While watching porno I noticed you sometimes got aroused before any woman came into the scene. I remember one film. It started with a lone guy working out. He had a terrific body. I was laying next to you watching the movie and glanced at you. You had a full erection watching him take a shower. Since that movie I have noticed you get more excited watching blow jobs especially when a nice dick was involved. You are a very oral person. You would suck all my private parts in your mouth and move your head up and down. It seemed like you were giving me a blow job. You asked me some peculiar questions about blow jobs. You asked me if I liked it when I blew you, and what it was like having semen ejaculated in my mouth. I suggested we could kiss the next time I have a mouthful, and you readily agreed. It was like you wanted insight into sucking cock. So, the gay aspect was not a complete surprise, and I can understand why it was with him."

"Why I was upset with is you had sex with some else. Did you think about my feelings? You said you love me do you really? Do you love him? The way you enjoy the sex we have it is hard for me to imagine you are gay, but are you? Was it just sex or are you homosexual? I need to know your true feeling before our relationship can go anywhere, and what did you do Friday night? How far did you go beyond him sucking on your neck?"

I took a deep breath, composed myself and said, "I love you more than I can describe. I am sorry for cheating on you. It just happened spontaneously. It was the lust of the moment that drove my actions and after that it was just experimenting and experiencing something new with a good friend. The connection I feel for Rocky is as a close friend, but it does not compare to the love I have for you. Being honest with you the sex with him was erotic, and I liked it. I guess i am a person that can be close friends and sexual with the right guy."

She said, "That was not your first time, was it, but now that you have done it again are you still attracted to girls?"

"No, it was my first time, and yes, I still like sex with girls. I do not want just any girl I want you. You are the one I think about spending the rest of my life with. What Rocky and I did was sex, lust was the driving factor not love."

"What exactly did you guys do?"

"Unlike what you thought we never had any type of sexual interaction when we were younger. We were close friends only. This was the first time. I don't know why it happened now. I just happened spontaneously."

"Really that was your first time. You guys never played with each other's things when you were younger? Exactly how did this happen spontaneously?"

"No, we never played with each other's things. We were in the back yard swimming. After swimming we sat in the sun. He was rubbing sunscreen on his body, and I noticed his abs and how nice his body was. This never happened to me before, but I started to get roused. I do not know why it just happened. He had matured nicely, and he had a great body. Watching him rub that lotion all over his glistening skin got to me. Then we started talking about our sex lives. The next thing I knew we heading to the basement to jack off. We were not going to jack each other off we were going to do it separately. We took our suits off and started playing with ourselves sitting next to each other. While jacking off I got the urge to blow him. I worked up the courage and maneuvered, so my head was closer to his penis, and he pushed my head toward it. I went down on him and sucked his penis until he climaxed."

"Did he ejaculate in your mouth, and did you swallow it?"

"Yes, he did and yes, I did swallow, but there was so much I pulled off after the third spurt. The rest he shot on his abdomen. I finished myself by jacking off while he watched me."

"He didn't reciprocate?"

"Not right away. After we cleaned up, we went back out to the backyard. We did not talk for a while then he said he really liked what we did, and he wanted to do it to me. He moved over to my lounge chair and pulled my trunks off. I was fully erect. I thought he was going to blow me, but he stood up took off his trunks and climbed on me, and we started making out. He then went down on me but when he was sucking my penis he put his finger in my butt. I came soon after he did that."

"He put his finger in your butt! Did you like that? You did all this on the patio where anyone could see?"

"Yes, I did like it. It felt remarkably good, and I came quickly. Yes, we were taking a significant risk and luckily no one saw us."

"Is that when he gave you the hickey? I didn't notice it at the rehearsal dinner. That reminds me when I found you alone in the den and I noticed your erection. I thought you got that when I came in, but you were thinking about what you and Rocky did that afternoon weren't you."

"Yes, it was a carry over from that afternoon. I could not stop thinking about what we did, and why I reacted the way I did. No, he didn't give me the hickey that afternoon. That happen later that night after the rehearsal dinner."

"Oh, so this was more than just once. You guys did it that afternoon then later that night too?"

I continued, "Yes what we did that afternoon carried over into the night after the reception. After I walked you to the car and said goodnight I went upstairs to my bedroom. Rocky was laying in bed fully naked with his legs wide open and his erection standing straight up. I took my clothes off and climbed in bed next to him. We started making out. Our bodies were rubbing against each other. He eventually got on top of me with my legs spread. We were rubbing and sliding are penises together."

I noticed Layna started to react to my description. She had leaned back in her chair, Layna's mouth was slightly opened, her eyes look very intense, her nipples were erect and noticeably sticking up in her T-shirt.

"He was pumping on top of me. His penis was slipping between my legs. I thought about when he put his finger in my ass. I wanted him to put his penis in me, so I asked him to do it. He did. He fucked me and just before he came, he buried his face in my neck, and bit and sucked me there as he ejaculated inside of me. He asked me to fuck him which I did. We cleaned up and fell asleep. He woke me up later with a blow job. We 69'd each other and I came again. He did not cum, so I had him fuck me a second time but this time doggy style. He left a second load in me. We fell asleep. In the morning, we blew each other in the shower."

Layna had her hand between her legs. She moved her hand up to her jeans buckle and undid her pants. She lifted her ass off the chair, pulled her pants down, let them slip to her ankles, and she kick them to the side.

She spread her legs exposing her womanhood to me and said, "Come over here and eat me. I want you to suck all my stuff in and out like you like to do and pretend you are giving Rocky a blow job."

I didn't hesitate and walked across the room quickly. I grabbed Layna's legs and pulled her ass to the edge of the chair cushion. I spread her legs wide, got on my knees, and stared at her glistening vulva. It was nearly dripping with her wetness and the aroma was intoxicating. I spread her labia apart and dove into her with my face. I probed my tongue deep into her vagina, my nose was enveloped by her labia, I took a long deep lap up to her clitoris. After several of those long laps I moved down and sucked her labia into my mouth. Moving my head back and forth on her womanly lips. I stuck my tongue out forced it between labia and by keeping continuous suction on them I fucked her with my tongue. In short order she was screaming that she was cumming.

She grabbed my hair on both sides of my head and pulled my face into her womanhood. She came all over my face. She kept grinding her genitals on my face as she thrust her hips up and down. I continued lapping my tongue along her vaginal opening and sucking her lips into my mouth. I started sucking on her clitoris as I flicked the tip of my tongue on it rapidly, and I got her to cum a second time. After that second one she collapsed down into the chair cushion. Without touching her clitoris, I gently kept sliding my tongue along her inner folds as she moved her hips ever so slowly to my tongue movements. After a long time, she grabbed my head and pulled me up to her face and gave me a very deep kiss.

She said, "You can do it again if you want."

I said, "You want me to eat you again?"

"No."

"What then."

"You and Rocky can do it again if you want. I would love to watch you do everything you just described. I was mad at first but because he was your friend, and more importantly it was not a girl, the more I thought about it the more it turned me on. I know you love me and because of the sex WE have I am not worried about the homosexuality. You are a very sexual person, and it does not surprise me that you can enjoy both woman and men that way. Who am I to stop what comes natural to you. I want to be there when you do it the next time. Can you set something up with Rocky?"

"He lives so far away I don't know when we could set something up. It would take a long time to get together."

"I do not want to wait. Would you be willing to expand your desires beyond just Rocky? Maybe we can find someone else. I think it might be better if you do it with someone else anyway. You can experience it with someone you have no emotional attachment too. You could see if it was the connection you had with Rocky or is it just the sex you crave. It would make it less risky too."

"I don't know. It was spontaneous with Rocky, and we had a familiarity. It would be a bit awkward with a stranger. I am not sure I could do it."

"Would you be OK if it were not a stranger because I know somebody, and you have met him. He already told me that I'm a lucky girl to be able to fuck you whenever I want. He told me you were hot and that any gay guy would be lucky to fuck you."

"Who is it?"

"Remember that Christmas party where we did it in the closet? Do you remember Paul my friend from work? You met him at the party."

"Yes, I cannot forget him he grabbed my dick. I never told you that because he was drunk, and so was I, and I did not want to embarrass anyone. We were talking in the corner alone, and I got the feeling he was flirting with me and it felt good, so I played along. He made a few comments about my physique. I thanked him and I said something like 'you aint so bad yourself'. A minute or so later he grabbed me by the crotch and tried to kiss me. I got embarrassed and excused myself and got out of there. I felt bad thinking that I gave him the wrong impression, and it was my fault he made a move."

"Well, that explains a lot. At work after that party Paul was talking about you. Paul is gay. We confide in each other as I consider him a good friend. He has told me about his sexual exploits, and his graphic descriptions made two guys doing it seem quite erotic. He is very experienced, and he told me he would love to fuck you. What do you say would you be up to trying it with someone like Paul?"

"I think I would, but I do not know for sure. If you are sure, you want this, then set it up I am willing to try it."

"Give me a minute.'

Layna left the room. I could hear muffled talking in the other room. She talked for a long time. I finally heard her say goodbye and she came back into the living room.

She said, "We are all set. We are going over to Paul's place tonight. I told him about what you did and that it was your first time. I told him you want to try it again but that you are apprehensive and nervous about doing it with someone else. He said he understands and will be thoughtful and follow your lead as to what you are comfortable with. From what he has told me he has introduced many straight guys to his world, and he considers himself skilled at it."

Four hours later I was In Paul's bed. I was naked laying on top of the sheets staring up at the ceiling. I was there by myself waiting for Paul to come in. My penis was rock hard and pointing up at my face. I looked down at it, the head was swollen, it was involuntarily twitching, a string of precum spanned the space between the hole of my dick and my abdomen. I squeezed the length of my penis, and a large glob of fluid oozed out of the hole. I collected the fluid between my thumb and index finger, rubbed my fingers together to feel its slipperiness, then put them in my mouth. The room was just the right temperature, and I was comfortable lying there naked. I was thinking back to just a few days ago when I got hard watching Rocky rub sunscreen on his body. I had my first gay encounter with a good friend, and here I am now laying in a gay guy's bed waiting for him to come in here and do I do not know what to me. The thing is I am as excited as I have ever been with anticipation wait for him.

Layna and I got to Paul's house an hour before. The three of us made small talk for a while. We got around to talking about the Christmas party and he apologized for his behavior. I told him it was all right and that I was flatter. The conversation got serious. He asked me what I was hoping for and what I was comfortable doing. I told him what me and Rocky did. He told me it sounded hardcore and asked if I wanted to try something more sensuous a bit more tender. I said yes, I would like that. Ho told me to go to his room and get comfortable and that he would come in shortly.

When Layna and I first got to Paul's house Paul and Layna did most of the talking. Layna was sitting next to me and had her hand on my leg absentmindedly rubbing my thigh. We discussed what each if us wanted out of this. What surprised me was Layna was ok with just watching. I asked her what she wanted to see. She said she wanted us to do what we wanted, and she did not want to add any input. She said she would stay in the living room for a while. When I got up to go to Paul's room, she kissed me and told me to relax and just enjoy it.