Asher's Futa Chronicles

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Home again, home again, jiggety jig. They say homecoming can be one of the greatest feelings. But what is home? And when you don't recognize home anymore, what sort of feeling is that? Asher and Remmi try to figure it out this time around.

Enjoy!

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Chapter 12

ASHER

James was waiting for us when we finally left the temple. From the looks of his camp, he'd been there for quite a while. The look of relief on his face as we emerged was enough to tell me there was more going on.

"How long?" Remmi asked after the obligatory rounds of hugging.

"Two months," James said, nodding slowly.

Remmi and I looked at one another.

We'd figured it had been a while. Being inside without windows, though, made keeping an accurate clock kinda hard. I figured it had been about a month, not two!

"Don't worry about it too much," James continued. "Time works a little differently inside the temple."

"What'd we miss?" I asked as James struck his camp and joined us on our way back to The Roadhouse. Tim had told us to go straight home and not doddle. It seemed his orders compelled Remmi and me to obey. I wasn't sure how I felt about that yet.

"Well, we've been on constant patrol since y'all went in," James started. "One of us has always stayed here in case...for when you emerged." His hesitation told me they weren't 100% sure we'd be coming out.

"I got the lucky straw!" James said cheerfully.

Remmi swatted him on the rump.

"Don't force it," Remmi said.

"The others have been scouring the mountains looking for more breakouts," James said.

"More breakouts?" I asked.

"We've had two so far," James started. "The first was right after y'all went in. Seems one of the tunnels didn't fully repair itself when the temple woke up, and a baddy got out. We found that one pretty easily."

"Did it act like they did in the labyrinth?" Remmi asked.

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"Well, after we talked to Tim--" Remmi started.

"Tim?" James asked. "Who's Tim?"

"The temple master?" I added helpfully.

"He goes by Tim?" James asked incredulously.

Remmi glanced at me before replying.

"Yeah," Remmi said carefully. "Or Boney."

Before James could chuckle, I went on.

"What do you guys call him?" I asked.

"Well, not Tim!" James said with a chuckle.

"Anyway," Remmi started. "Do the monsters obey you when you meet up with them on the outside?"

James stopped and gave Remmi a strange look.

"Obey...me?" he asked.

"After we talked with Tim and started our training, we were sent into the labyrinth to learn," I said. "The monsters never attacked us unless we told them to."

"They listened to you?" James asked, shock apparent on his face.

"Well, to be fair, before Tim, they just tried to kill us," Remmi said.

"Huh," James said with a frown. "No. In the wild, they're mindless beasts. Once they leave the temple master--Tim's control net," James corrected himself. "The only choice we've had was to put them down. Maybe it'll be different for y'all, but I doubt it. Just be careful!"

Remmi and I shared a look.

"Right," I said.

James went on to tell us about the second breakout. Apparently, one of the outer labyrinth walls had collapsed, and a small pack of monsters got out. They weren't sure if the wall collapsed on its own or if something damaged it from the inside.

Tim apparently wasn't as friendly with the Gestalt as he'd been with Remmi and me. James chalked it up to them being the first people Tim had encountered in over 1,000 years. Anyone's social skills would have declined in that amount of time.

James didn't know much about what had happened at The Roadhouse in our absence. The Gestalt had been too busy doing "the duty" to visit. It seemed the four of them were trying to do a job meant for an outpost of over a hundred.

All he could tell us was that Miranda was still awake and that The Roadhouse was still standing. Apparently, their steward Margeist was in contact with Miranda but chose to speak with her as little as possible. When I asked why, James just chuckled and said Miranda gave Margeist a headache.

I pondered all this as we made our way home.

I wasn't sure if it was because it was mostly downhill, but we managed to make it home in about 2/3 the time it had taken us to get up here. I guess our increased training regimen while with Tim might have had something to do with it.

James left us in the forest just outside The Roadhouse.

I took my time saying goodbye to James, enough so that Remmi cleared her throat to try and break us up. We ignored her until we were done inspecting one another's tonsils.

As I stepped back, Remmi stepped in and continued the tonsil inspection where I'd left off. I couldn't help but grin as I watched the two of them going at it like teenagers. By the end of it, I was more than ready to jump in again, but Remmi grabbed my hand and dragged me away.

There was just something about that man that seemed to check all my boxes.

"You know Rhi's my favorite, but damn, that man has a fine ass," Remmi said quietly as the man in question turned and departed.

I heard James's chuckle as he disappeared into the woods, his vampire hearing obviously having picked up Remmi's compliment.

Our homecoming was just one long series of surprises, one after another.

First was the patrol we ran into as we moved through the trees.

A large female elf and a short, barrel-chested man with blue tattoos were strolling through the woods. At first, they didn't look like they were on a patrol. If they'd been chatting, I would have said it was just a couple out for a stroll. But these two were quiet, well-armed, and their eyes were darting everywhere at once.

Remmi and I waited for them to notice us, but as they drew closer, it didn't look like they would. We weren't trying to hide, but they didn't seem to see us. Before they got close enough that I was afraid we might startle them, I spoke up.

"Hello?" I said in a normal tone. I wasn't sure if there was a protocol for this sort of thing, so I just winged it.

The pair immediately moved into a combat stance and readied weapons, but didn't draw them. The smoothness with which they moved together showed they'd practiced together a lot.

"State your business," the elf snapped.

"Uh, going home?" Remmi offered.

Both of us made sure to keep our hands well away from our weapons.

The pair examined us for a moment before a spark of recognition flared in the man's eyes. He slowly held his hands up, away from his own weapons.

"Apologies, Guardians," he said, startling the elf beside him. "We weren't told you were returning today." The man seemed to relax while the elf kept her guard up.

"We're returning from the temple," I said and glanced at the elf, her hand still on her weapon. "Sorry, we hadn't planned on coming home today."

The man quickly stepped in front of the elf, holding his hands out to his sides apologetically.

"Forgive Willeke, she's only recently returned from the front in the wilds," the man said, his words having no meaning for me. "She still questions everything."

"Why are you out here?" Remmi asked.

The man seemed embarrassed by his companion's refusal to stand down.

"It's our rotation for patrol," the man said, as if that should explain everything. "Forgive me, I'm Frederick Underhoff. We're members of the adventurers' guild."

"Guildmembers are guards too?" I asked.

Frederick seemed even more embarrassed.

"The guild will offer out the work to adventurers when their normal contractors aren't available or work offerings get slim," he said.

"So, is there a threat posed to The Roadhouse right now?" Remmi asked, worry touching her voice. We'd spent a solid month on patrol around this area back when we were worried the Laghold merchants might attack us.

"What?" Frederick asked, startled. "No, nothing like that. It's just standard practice to post guards around outposts. There's nothing going on that they've told us." He glanced at Willeke, who shook her head slightly.

"Seems reasonable," I said, glancing at Remmi. "Is there any reason we can't proceed?"

"No! Of course not, Guardian," Frederick said. "Please, don't mind us." Frederick was still flustered, and in his haste to get out of our way, backed up into Willeke. She'd been prepared for an attack, not her companion stumbling into her. They both teetered on the edge of falling over.

"Alright then," I said, biting my lip to keep from giggling at the pair as they disentangled themselves.

"Carry on," Remmi said in a quick voice as we continued towards home.

I was proud of us. Neither of us openly laughed. It didn't stop us from rolling our eyes at one another, though.

Another pair of guards challenged us at the back gate of The Roadhouse. The pair of men was in decent armor and had well-used weapons. This was no honor guard. They let us pass quickly once they realized who we were.

"I guess having these symbols on our armor is like wearing a cop badge," Remmi said, thumping the symbol on her chest plate once we were inside the gate. Then she stumbled into me. "Hey!"

I couldn't get mad at her for stepping on my heels. As soon as I'd seen the courtyard, I'd stopped in my tracks, staring. Remmi now joined me in staring at the crowded space.

When we'd left, the sudden influx of guild members had made the place feel crowded, as there'd only been a handful of us before. Now it felt like I was in a holiday market on Christmas Eve!

Wagons and carriages were lined up in neat rows across the courtyard, leaving only small avenues for movement. The stables appeared to be full as I glanced in that direction and saw multiple people tending to dozens of animals.

The area between the inn and the outer wall once held the remnants of what we'd guessed had been animal stalls. Well, it turns out they were actually market stalls. How do I know this? Because they'd all been rebuilt and nearly all of them were full of one type of vendor or another.

We'd arrived in the early evening, and many of the stalls were closing up. But that didn't stop people from walking the aisle, seeing what was still available.

"Where did all these people come from?" Remmi asked.

"You got me. I recognize a few from Laghold, but that's it," I replied.

"Asher!" Patty's voice carried over the din of the crowd.

I watched the crowd part as Patty came walking down from the far end of the stalls.

I embraced the lizard-human body Patty had chosen for this Bio Hab. Her midnight black scales were still smooth and warm to the touch. Her tail surprised me as it wrapped around me as well.

"Did you girls just get in?" Patty asked as she let me go and gave Remmi a huge hug.

"Yeah," Remmi said when they broke apart. Her eyes were still large as she took in what was once our quiet home in the middle of nowhere.

Patty's large hand wrapped around one of my biceps.

"What have they been feeding you girls?" Patty asked as she inspected my arms.

"I dunno, normal stuff?" I offered. I looked down at myself and glanced at Remmi. I didn't feel different, but looking at Terri...I guess we'd buffed up a little more?

"Well, things here have changed a bit while you were away," Patty smiled, showing off a set of chompers that would have a normal person taking a cautious step back.

But I wasn't normal, so I smiled right back.

"That's an understatement," I said. "Where's Terri?"

"She and Thomas are out with a group of adventurers on a job," Patty said.

"Really?" Remmi asked. "They finally started on that adventurer life they'd talked about?"

"Well, not really. They're sticking to the local area," Patty said. "They've been going out on small jobs with whoever's in need of a mage."

"Training?" I asked.

"No, they're real jobs. They're getting paid," Patty said.

"So, they're official adventurers now," I said with a smile.

Terri and Thomas had talked about becoming adventurers ever since we were told they existed here on this Bio Hab. We just hadn't had the opportunity till now. It was good to hear they were fulfilling their dream. Or at least getting a taste.

"I guess the guild showing up has some benefits after all," Remmi said, looking around at the crowds.

"You don't know the half of it," Patty said. "Let's go inside. I'm sure Sinjin and Angela will be thrilled to see you. Plus, you probably don't want to have to repeat your story of how you went into the mountains to train."

I caught Patty's eye and immediately understood her implication.

It seemed that was the story Sinjin went with after we left. Simple, truthful, and easily interpreted by whoever heard it. He did a good job.

"Got it," I said with a nod.

"Oh, fair warning, it's the dinner rush," Patty said as she opened the door to the inn's massive dining area.

The roar that washed over us was as loud as any concert I'd ever been to. But as soon as we entered, the sound dropped to a more reasonable level.

"It's part of Miranda's hospitality," Patty said, interpreting Remmi and my confused looks.

"Miranda?" I asked.

The thought of the steward who protected The Roadhouse sent a chill down my spine. She was the reason we had to go to the temple in the first place. If we hadn't, she would have killed us for impersonating Guardians.

"WELCOME GUARDIANS!" The female voice seemed to come from everywhere at once and ran roughshod over all other sound. Silence smothered the room like a heavy blanket, as over 100 pairs of eyes turned towards us.

"So much for a subtle entrance," Remmi muttered.

I racked my brain desperately for something to say. When nothing came to mind, I nodded to the room in general. I could practically hear Remmi's eyes rolling behind me.

A woman appeared before us. One moment she wasn't there, the next a bright glow pulsed once before winking out, leaving the figure of a lithe woman.

The woman wore a screaming red dress, a matching choker, and a black bodice that showed off way too much cleavage. Her hair and nails were long and matched the color of her dress. The woman oozed grace.

"It is so wonderful to meet you both finally," the woman said.

With her words, the conversations resumed in the room, this time with a lot more whispering and pointing involved.

"Well, in the flesh, as it were," the woman continued without stopping. "Of course, I've been watching over you since your arrival, so I know everything about you. But don't worry, I'm not a gossip!" The woman gave us a conspiratorial wink.

"Miranda, I take it?" I asked.

"And he said you were slow!" Miranda said, touching her ample chest and chuckling softly. "Of course, I knew the truth, but what are you going to do? The...'Tim'," Miranda said the word as if it tasted sour. "Tim is off in his own little world. If you ask me, he should get out more."

I caught Remmi's eye. She looked like she was thinking the same thing I was, *This chick's nuts!*

"Well, that was rude," Miranda said, as if she'd read my mind. "Oh, but then so are my manners. Having you stand here in the doorway this entire time, really! Come in, have a seat, take a load off." Miranda swung her arm out, and a table and chairs appeared from thin air, stuffing themselves into a corner.

"Actually," I started. "We need to drop our gear."

"And shower!" Remmi added.

"And shower," I conceded.

"Oh, how right you are," Miranda said, and then continued talking. "You do look a bit 'rode hard and put away wet,' if you don't mind me saying. Your room is made up and spotless, of course. I'll have your dinner prepared and waiting for you when you return."

I didn't see Sinjin or Angela, so we made our way through the crowd and to the stairs. Miranda chattered away at us the entire time. She didn't stop until we reached the door to our wing.

"Do let me know if you are in need of anything," Miranda said and winked out of existence with a flash of light.

"So...that's Miranda," Patty said once we closed the door to our wing.

"Does she ever shut up?" Remmi asked, rubbing her ear.

Patty looked around before speaking.

"Honestly? No," Patty started. "As she tells it, she's 'making up for lost time.'"

"Does she stay out of our wing or something?" I asked, glancing back at the closed door.

"For the most part," Patty said. "But if you call her name, she'll make an appearance. She's always up for conversation. And, fair warning, she can read your mind."

"Really?" Remmi asked.

"Really, really," Patty said with a nod. "We're guessing it's anyone on the property, but we haven't confirmed it yet."

"Lovely," I muttered and opened our door.

"I'll let Angela and Sinjin know you're here," Patty said.

"I didn't see them downstairs," Remmi said. "Where are they?"

"I dunno, but I'll dig them up," Patty said. "Welcome back, you two."

After a very long shower, I was drying off as Remmi finished getting dressed.

"You feeling OK?" I asked.

"Sure, why?" Remmi asked.

"You haven't made a single pass at me since we got here," I said, tossing my towel and reaching for a fresh pair of everyday clothes.

"I'm more hungry than horny right now," Remmi said. "Let me get some food in me and then ask me again."

I chuckled and dressed quickly, afraid that if I took too long, Remmi would go ahead without me. Facing the crowd downstairs on my own was the last thing I wanted to do.

"You sure you want to go down there right now?" I asked.

"Come on, let's get it over with," Remmi said and pulled me to my feet while I was still putting my shoes on.

Miranda appeared as we left our wing.

"Everything is set and waiting for you," Miranda said cheerfully.

I eyed the steward cautiously. In my experience, anyone who was that cheery was hiding something. To say Miranda had my hackles up was an understatement.

Remmi, on the other hand, fell in step with Miranda. She even took her arm and let her lead us to our waiting table.

To be honest, I was a little surprised Miranda was tangible. The way she popped in and out of existence, I thought she was a hologram or a ghost or something.

"Now, how could I possibly do my job if I were a ghost?" Miranda asked me over her shoulder.

I'd forgotten Miranda had access to our thoughts and frantically tried to figure out what to do. Luckily, I was saved by our arrival at our table.

Sure enough, there were steaming bowls of soup, bread with butter, and a plate of greens for each of us.

The smell of the soup reminded my stomach that it was hungry, and I dug in with a vengeance.

"This is wonderful!" Remmi said, her mouth full of greens.

"I'll let the kitchen know," Miranda said.

"You didn't make this?" I asked.

"Oh, no," Miranda said. "I can help out here and there, but I'd never dream of taking someone's job away from them. Please enjoy." And with that, Miranda popped out of existence.

"It's gonna take some time to get used to that," Remmi said. But she didn't let it slow her eating down.

"Slow down, you're gonna choke!" I cautioned.

"But I'm hungry!" Remmi said.

"Then try this," Sinjin said as he appeared at our table carrying a small plate of sizzling meat that made my mouth water.

"Whoa!" Sinjin yelped as I hit him with a hug before he could put the plate down. Luckily, Remmi took the plate from him, saving the food and allowing him to hug me back.

"Good to see you too, squirt," Sinjin whispered in my ear.

"Same!" I said and went to kiss him, but he dodged me!

"Too many eyes here," Sinjin whispered.

"Since when has that ever stopped you?" I asked, giving him a look. I studied his face for any sign of him joking, but he was serious. This was the same man who'd made me give him head on the freeway while a trucker watched? "Who are you?"

"I'll explain later," Sinjin said and looked over at Remmi. "I missed you as well."