The A.V. Club

A Novel by J.K. Ermon (jokermon)

Chapter Twenty-Five: The Oral Exam

This is a work of erotic fantasy fiction for the entertainment of adults only. Everything in this story is imaginary and is not meant to represent any real-life people, events, or medical conditions. It contains explicit futanari (hermaphrodite) content. If that's not your thing, or if reading this type of material is unlawful where you reside, don't read it. All characters in sexual situations are 18 years of age or older, even if it seems otherwise for dramatic or narrative purposes. Please enjoy this story responsibly and do not repost without permission. This story is copyright©2016 J.K. Ermon

~~~

Emily said firmly, "You can't quit Chess Club."

"Why not?" I asked crankily. "It's a pain in the ass. I keep getting put on a damn bus to these intermural meets every other day."

Emily and I were standing out in front of the school. It was lunch period, but instead of being ensconced for some quality canoodling time in the portable, I was waiting at the flagpole with the rest of the Chess Club to board the big yellow school bus parked there. Our faculty advisor, Mrs. Cheevers, hadn't shown up yet and she was the lone holdout.

"It's once every other week," Emily corrected. "And these field trips happen because the Chess Club keeps winning."

"So maybe I should start throwing matches." I pitched my voice so the other boys in the Chess Club wouldn't hear. We wouldn't be back until five. I really didn't like missing Emily's semenars with the Fellatio Society or our nooners in the portable.

"You can't," she said calmly. "After performing so well all year, it would be suspicious."

I sighed. Having a secret life was also a pain in the ass, sometimes. It sucked having appearances to maintain. "Fine."

Emily and the AV Club were so central to my existence, sometimes I forgot about my other extracurricular obligations. I didn't realize what a big deal Chess Club was becoming until we began working our way through the regionals. In the '66 - '67 scholastic year, none of Grant High's major sports teams made it to post-season. The school was hanging their hopes on fringe groups like the Chess Club and even the Marksmanship Club to uplift the school name. They were desperate to be proud of something.

I found out just how desperate when Mrs. Cheevers finally showed up carrying a large cardboard box. She dumped it on the concrete at her feet with a grunt.

"Gather 'round, boys," she ordered and stooped to open it up.

It was full of varsity letterman jackets. She began passing them out.

They were just like the jackets the athletic teams wore, with the nameGrant High Minutemenacross the back and a giganticGfor Grant on the breast. They were navy blue with white sleeves and gold piping, the school colors. They were different from the sports jackets in they had a rook emblem on one shoulder and the wordsChess Clubon the other. To our further surprise, they were all personalized, with each of our names printed below the rook. Mrs. Cheevers began handing them out.

"The administration feels," she said, "if you're going to represent our school at the State level, you'd best look the part." Her tone made it clear she felt team jackets were a waste of school resources.

When I got mine, I immediately noticed below my name was a gold crest that readCaptain.I wordlessly held it up and gave Mrs. Cheevers an incredulous look. She rolled her eyes.

"The team needs a captain, Bobby. You're it. End of story."

"But why me?" I asked, trying to keep the whiny note out of my voice.

"Because you're the best player and you win the most games," she said bluntly.

I could practically hear all my teammates' backs stiffening at that.Oh, great.

"Now all of you," she barked, "put them on, and get on the bus."

In Allen's absence, the Chess Club needed a captain. School clubs are hierarchical like that. I didn't want the position. I felt I had enough on my plate, and I thought I'd made that clear. Apparently, Mrs. Cheevers wasn't having it. She'd made a unilateral decision.

I put on the stupid jacket. It fit me perfectly, which wasreallyunfair, because now I had no excuse not to wear it.

"Oh my goodness," Emily said in a breathy voice. "That looks...verygood on you, Bobby."

"Swell," I said sourly.

"Don't be a grump," she said. "There is a silver lining."

"What?"

"I have a boyfriend who's a varsity letterman." Her eyes shone. "The other girls are going to besojealous."

I snorted, but itwaskind of cool that I could give her status like that.

"Okay. I'll see you later."

"See you," she said, and stood on her tiptoes to kiss me on the cheek. "Play well." She lowered her voice."Annihilatethose motherfuckers."

I laughed out loud at that. Emily had just learned the termmotherfuckerfrom Mark the other week and had been hilariously peppering it in her daily speech.

"Halverson!"Mrs. Cheevers called impatiently. "On the bus."

Emily's kiss brightened my mood considerably as I boarded. Even the waves of resentment rising from my teammates couldn't stifle it.

~~~

Vitamin J made me a better chess player. Being able to read people gave me a real boost. I could always tell a feint from an actual commit just from my opponent's body language. Also, my brain simply worked better. I could see the variables more clearly, predict outcomes with greater accuracy and direct things more precisely. It was actually pretty damned exhilarating. I chose not to throw any games for purely selfish reasons; it was fun to be good at something.

I felt envious of Allen. He'd been that good from the get-go.

The Grant High Chess Club overall did great at that meet. Thankfully, I wasn't the only one to mop the floor with the competition. We went home victorious and the mood on the bus was a lot less chilly.

They dropped me off at the mostly-empty Grant High parking lot and no sooner was I in my car than I realized I couldn't go home. I was supposed to be at the Fotomat.

I sighed and drove to Caruso's Pizzeria. I did my homework in between slices of four-cheese pepperoni and snatches of conversation with Donnie.

When I got home, Mom did a double-take as I walked in.

"Where did that jacket come from?"

"Oh." I'd forgotten I had it on. I turned to show her the rook on the shoulder. "It's for Chess Club. We had a meet today. Mrs. Cheevers just handed these out."

"How did you do?"

"We won."

"Well, that's good. Emily called while you were out, she wants to talk. And you got a letter today."

"From one of the universities?"

"No, some bookstore. It's on the dining room table with the others."

Bookstore?I thought.What?

"Thanks."

I went into the dining room and sifted through the pile of junk mail and coupon mailouts that stuffed our mailbox every day. I found a plain white envelope with my name and home address handwritten on it. The return address wasChuck's Books and Magazines, 4410 Old LaGrange Road, Buckner, Kentucky, 40010.

I felt a prickle on the nape of my neck.Chuck's?I thought.Andrea?

My curiosity was piqued, but my need to hear Emily's voice was greater. I pocketed the letter, went into the kitchen and lifted the phone handset. Thankfully, I got a dial tone. Alison wasn't on the extension. I could hearBewitchedcoming from the living room, which meant I didn't have to worry about her listening in. She loved that show.

I dialed Emily's home number, let it ring once, then hung up. That was the signal that I wanted her call me. She didn't want me talking to either of her parents on the phone, and so we developed a little tradecraft to work around them. Three minutes later the phone rang and I snatched it up. I waited for her to speak first.

"Hello?" Emily said. "Bobby?"

"Yup, it's me," I said.

"How did the chess trip go?"

"Glorious victory. What's up?"

"Well congratulations, first off. I just wanted to let you know, it happened."

"Sorry? What happened?"

"The girls. Heidi, Linda and Stephanie. They all hit their growth spurts, and as of tomorrow, their worries about birth control will be a thing of the past."

"Wow, sorry I missed that. Sounds...eventful."

"Oh, you have no idea. Heidi had the most dramatic changes. She's as tall as Marianne now, and her bosom is as big as mine. It's like all of her padding got redistributed. Her belly's gone, but her bottom gotenormous.She has really nice cheekbones too, now that you can see them. She's become a total bombshell." Her voice dipped. "I could fuck her fordays."

"Wow." All of a sudden, I was very anxious to see Miss Miller for myself. "What about Stephanie and Linda?"

"Well, Linda went up an inch in height and about two cup sizes. Her hips got a little bigger, but she carries it well. For some reason, that black hair of hers has a lot more volume now, and it's glossier."

"Wow," I said again. Donnie was going to be pleased.

"With Stephanie," Emily went on, "outwardly, she didn't change much at all, everything just got a little fuller and firmer, that's about it. The real changes happened on the inside. Before, she was all catty and defensive, you know?"

"Yeah." I knew. I'd been on the receiving end of it more than once.

"Now, she has this amazingcalm.She has so much more confidence now, so much self-sufficiency and sensuality. It's wonderful. I can't wait for you to see them, Bobby, they've all become so beautiful. I'm soproudof them."

She sounded like she was getting ready to weep for joy. I caught myself getting a little choked up with her. "Looking forward to it," I said truthfully.

"I can't speak too much longer, my parents are home. Please come to Marianne's aunt's place tomorrow at lunch time, we're having a special meeting."

"Sure," I said stupidly. My mind was a blank.

"Good. I'll see you tomorrow, Bobby, I love you."

"I love you too," I said and let her disconnect first. I hung up the phone with numb fingers. I wandered into the living room where the rest of my family was watching Elizabeth Montgomery and Dick Yorke trade one-liners.

"I'll be in my room," I told them abruptly and went upstairs. I had already shut the door when I remembered the letter in my pocket. I flopped onto my bed and opened it. A sheaf of handwritten lined foolscap dropped out. I found the first page and began to read.

~~~

Hello Bobby,

It's your redheaded friend from the bookstore in Kentucky. I hope you remember me. I hope this letter comes to the right household. I'm pretty sure it will, though. There was only one Halverson residence listed in Point Pleasant, so I'm guessing that's you.

(Shit,I thought.ItisAndrea Betts.)

I have started masturbating every day, just like you suggested. I have to say, that was a great idea. It took a while for me to get up the nerve to try it. After we met, it took four days before I finally took the plunge. Ever since it happened, I haveneededto tell someone about it. That's why I'm writing this letter. You are the only person I can talk to about this stuff.

It was the night of the last full moon (maybe that had something to do with it) and I was determined to see it through. I was too chicken to do it in my house in case my family overheard. I snuck out after everyone was asleep and went to this secret place in the woods behind our property. It's a beautiful little picnic spot next to a brook.

I was very excited. I felt very daring and naughty, so I took off all my clothes and walked around in the moonlight. It was sexy, but also kind of romantic. I felt hot all over, like my whole body was blushing but especially my face, and between my legs.

I need to pause here. I need to say, I've never confessed anything this personal to anyone. Never mind a boy I only met once. I won't lie, it's kind of a thrill, and a really naughty one. It also feels like I'm discarding a weight I never knew I was carrying.

(I was impressed with her use of language. Then I remembered she worked in a book store.)

Anyway. Back to my penis. It was super-stiff and throbby, andbig, too, as big as some of those dickgirls in the magazines.

(I realized the direction this letter was taking. I opened my pants and shoved them down to my knees along with my boxers. I began slowly masturbating as I resumed reading.)

For the first time I really let myself fondle and play with it. It felt good. I pulled my foreskin back and forth and I knew that was the ticket as soon as I did it. It was amazing to me that I had this organ whose sole purpose was to give me pleasure.

(I grinned.Yup, sounds about right.)

I kept rolling my foreskin with both hands. It made me a little dizzy to see I could grip it two-handed and still have so much wiener left over. Once I had a rhythm going, there was no stopping me. I got more and more excited and the feelings kept getting better until I had my first orgasm. I knowyouknow what that's like, but still, I have to say it wasmarvelous. I couldn't help making these moany, squeaky sounds when I squirted. I was in ecstasy, but I think I sounded more surprised than anything.

I was not prepared for how good it was going to feel. It was really life-changing. Not only did my penis shoot off (which wasfantastic!!!),my girl parts got involved as well. My clitoris was the center of a series of spasms that went through my whole body like a string of cherry bombs. It kept going on for a long time, that was the other amazing thing. Afterwards, my penis softened a bit and my knees did, too, so I had to lie down on the grass. It felt very cool and pleasant. I was grateful for that because I felt so hot.

I just lay there for awhile, catching my breath and basking in the glory of it all. I stared up at the sky. It was a clear night, bright and beautiful with that big moon and lots of stars. I had a feeling of great accomplishment. I felt like I'd reached a significant stage of my life. I also felt all bubbly and even gleeful, like I'd gotten away with something. I've never had so much as a sip of alcohol in my life, but I finally knew what people meant when they described something asintoxicating.That's how I felt.

I could smell my cum, and it smelled so good I couldn't resist tasting it. It was delicious. I didn't know dickgirls could give Seahag fever to themselves, and that was quite a discovery. The more of it I tasted, the higher and more turned-on I got.

Soon it was time to masturbate again. That time I really studied my penis as I jacked it off. I found the head very attractive (theglans,they call it in those magazines). It was fat and sassy and shiny. When my penis stiffened back up, I couldn't resist bending down and giving it a kiss. I felt a real sizzle when my lips touched it. That gave me an idea.

I bent down further and got my lips around the head of my cock. That was as much as I could comfortably take. I jacked off while I sucked and licked on the helmet. It felt great and super-exciting. My pre-cum wasn't as tasty as my actual jizz, but it was still sweet and lots came out. In no time at all I was coming again, this time right in my own mouth!

There was a ton of it, and it shot out really fast, but I was still able to gulp down most of it. I got even higher and happier and more comfortable with the whole thing. I got more relaxed and flexible, too. I was able to take my cock deeper into my mouth and could even get down to the halfway mark before my back hurt.

After I made that discovery, I couldn't be stopped. I made my lips very wet and tight around my cock and slurped up and down on the top half while stroking the bottom half with both hands. It felt so good my eyes closed, like I was kissing a boy. Whenever I discovered something good I could do with my lips and my tongue, my eyes would roll under their lids. I couldn't help it.

I love sucking my own cock. It wasn't just a new (andverynice) way of pleasing myself, the actual feel and taste of my dick in my mouth was delightful. At some point I realized I was moaning and grunting and making all kinds of goo-goo baby noises.

Wow, I remember thinking. No wonder boys like getting blowjobs so much. And no wonder so many girls like giving them. They're really fun!

(I chuckled and stroked myself a little harder at that. Had to concur.)

When I came in my mouth again, I just howled around my organ. It was stupendous. After I swallowed all that cum, I burst into happy tears.

My dick didn't even go down at all that time. It got a little prickly and oversensitive right after I came, but moments later, I was back at it.

I came in my mouth a bunch of times that night. I loved the high that it gave me. The more cum I swallowed, the looser and more limber my whole body got. I could swallow my shaft almost all the way down to my balls by the time I wrapped things up. I won't say it was effortless, but I managed, and it was amazing.

("Urmph!" I tried to muffle my grunts as I came. That last passage was too much for me. Andrea's letter had me spouting like a fountain. I caught my breath and resumed reading.)

I tried a lot of other things, too. I played with my balls and fingered my clitoris (which I'd done before, but never, you know, all-the-way). I even stuck a finger up my butt (which wasAMAZING!!!).When I called it a night and cleaned up in the brook, I felt like I was floating on clouds.

It was a very important night for me. Not only did I make all kinds of wonderful discoveries, it was the night I fell in love with my penis. It was the night I made peace with being a dickgirl. I knew there would be challenges and adjustments in the days ahead, but I was resolved to face them. I walked home in a happy daze. I felt confident and fulfilled, two very new things for me.

(Even through my post-orgasmic haze, I was touched and happy about her breakthrough.)

I made several decisions over the next few days. I'm not going to quit school. I'm going to stick it out and aim for a vocational college after. I don't want to go on the sausage circuit, though now I understand now why some women might love sex enough to want that. I want to learn to be a professional seamstress and dressmaker. Maybe even be a fashion designer some day.

Bobby, I want to thank you for putting me on the right track. You were right about everything. I make love to myself daily, and since I've been doing so, I have become happier overall and much more perceptive. I find I can 'read' people a lot better now, just like you said.

There is a boy in my class I find particularly appealing. He's a fat kid, kind of shy, but I get a similar 'read' on him as I do you. Like you, I can tell he's sausage-friendly. Unlike you, I don't think he knows it yet.

I have a plan. Girls with boyfriends never get suspected of being Hag-bred, not with the way boys talk. It occurred to me the other day -- if I had a boyfriend I could trust, I'd be in the clear.

The plan is to get this boy to ask me out and then win his heart by sucking him off a bunch of times (which Ican't waitto do!!!). Then, once we're close, I'll tell him about my penis and make a deal with him: I will give him all the sex he wants, and everytypeof sex he wants, if he will continue to be my boyfriend and keep my secret. I am one-hundred percent sure he'll accept.

The A.V. Club - Ch. 25

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