Washrags & Monsters

Content Warning: The following story is Smut-Free and Totally Safe For Work

If you need a reminder on what pronouns go with which gender, check outthis handy guideI put together.

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Thanks to how much stuff Bruni had in their collections of 'nonsense', it was late afternoon by the time we arrived at the town we were actually traveling to. Not that any of it was nonsense, of course. Bruni had crystals, pieces of fossils, stormhawk feathersandegg fragments, all sorts of interesting things! I certainly thought they were interesting, and so did Seer Heart, for that matter. Ombud Ranitulok was standoffish about them, but I knew that she liked them too.

Anyway.

The town we ended the day at was a slender but long one, snaking close along the river through the thin valley the river had cut, rather spreading out into one of the vague blob-ish shapes that river towns in the central and eastern heartlands seemed to be so happy to take. Tracing the space between the town and the river was a fruit orchard: it didn't overtake the local trees, bushes, and shrubs, but it certainly neighbored them.

It was a proper town, too, not just a village trying very hard to seem big. They even had a cut-stone landing port. It was small, only able to support a single airship from the look of it, not like the oversized thing at Annaliese's family castle, but they'd clearly taken the time to build it to official standards. Not just that, but they had a rigger perched on it, ready to hook up and dock the ship. And they were a real rigger, not just some volunteer trying their best. I was impressed.

None of that is to say that there's anything wrong with trying to seem big! Or with having a real, fully trained rigger, even if you didn't need one very often. Sometimes people just wanted to know how to do a thing. By the Fire Bringer, I'd certainly wanted to be a rigger before I'd awakened. Mostly because it was the only thing that I'd felt like I was able to do well, but still. I understood.

So! Those of us going groundside walked over to the hoister platform, and I overheard Dantell talking to Noona Bekah. I wasn't planning to overhear them, by the way.

"What do you think the odds are that they have a crafter here we could buy the tools from, or a maintenance person with an old set they're willing to part with?" I heard Dantell ask.

Noona Bekah scoffed. "Not great, but there's no sense in not checking anyway. We could get lucky." Ze shifted their suitcase around; it had zir testing spheres in it.

The rigger messed with a panel and the hoister rose into place. Once it was up and level with the platform, the clan-crew of The Wings of Angels filed in. The clan-crew always took the first hoister, since they needed to be groundside to catch the shipping container meant for this town before anything else could go down. It was a safety thing.

"Tools for what?" I asked, hanging back a bit but unable to contain my curiosity. We were on the next hoister but I figured that I had a bit of time.

"Oh, the landing port in our own... village?" Noona Bekah glanced at Dantell.

Dantell shook her head. "Forget village, we're probably a town by now, what with how many people we have around these days."

"Goodness. Well, the landing port in our own town has been seized up for ages. We can lift it by hand, but that's inefficient and potentially dangerous, since it can take up to an hour to bump it up from the ground that way." Noona Bekah scooped up Niamh, who then crawled over zir head and settled themself on zir shoulders.

"It doesn't take that long if someone's riding it up!" said Niamh, bouncing a bit.

"Which is dangerous, which is why we need to fix it," finished Noona Bekah. "Our ride," said Noona Bekah as the hoister settled back into the platform, empty and ready for more people. Ze took Niamh off of zir shoulders and smiled down at them. "We'll be back for you once we know it's safe for you to run around." Niamh pouted for a moment, then rushed over to Jinda, who promptly rolled onto her back for tummy rubs.

"Why do we need to wait for it to be safe? Can't it just be safe now?" asked Bruni, who was looking at the hoister with a great deal of interest.

"Thoxlings are pretty unseerable, so we need to make sure that there aren't any down there or in the area before we let you all run loose," said Ombud Ranitulok sagely.

"But I've been there before on my own! I hiked there from home before," protested Bruni.

"That was before we'd taken you under our wing, and I personally would rather not have you eaten by a monster," countered Seer Heart with a big wink. Bruni smiled, and he went on. "Besides, it's all pretty boring for the first few hours anyway, unless you like being stuck in one place with nothing to do and not being allowed to run about, since that's what having us as guardians will mean until we get back to Aamand," said Seer Heart.

Bruni made a yucky face at that, but she didn't really seem upset.

Seer Heart laughed. "That's what I thought. Now, I think that there's some room over on Jinda if you want to join Niamh in giving her a tummy rub."

Bruni was off like a shot at that, petting Jinda alongside Niamh like it was their job.

I looked at Bruni for a moment, petting Jinda next to Niamh. I thought about how happy they were now, and how unhappy they'd looked on the dock, then snorted.

"I didn't know that Cadet Annaliese and Bruni were on the Washrag path for you to seer out," I said, unsure of how to form my question. "I thought for sure that only Annaliese was on a path, and even then that she, and only she, would be on the Academy path. Who knew that her family thought the Washrag Society mattered?"

Seer Heart didn't respond. I wondered if he hadn't heard me. "Or can you seer out anyone, and the path just... I dunno, makes it easier?" I wasn't really sure how seeric paths worked, and nobody had ever really taken the time to explain them to me.

"It was the dwarves in the town below whose futures and fates I saw. Not Bruni's," said Seer Heart quietly. "They wrote me a letter about the strange mountain girl, and I drew a blank on her. She'd not entered into any of my seerings, and even then I had trouble spotting her, as disconnected from everything as she was. Took me three solid days just to figure out who she was. Luckily, once I knew that, everything else fell into place. Then it was just a matter of getting to her before a rock slide or a bear did."

I thought about what Bruni had said, about how they'd gone into town before. "So you didn't know that Bruni was--"

"That Bruni was being abused? No, not until I determined who their family was, but it's not a stretch to assume that children whose families don't know they're regularly making eight-hour hikes one way to the only playmates they have aren't growing up in a good environment. Thank the all gods for the Lord Mayor being on the Marshal Path for that lovely bit of information," growled Seer Heart.

"I thought seers could see and seer out anything?" I said, knowing the answer I was going to get as soon as I asked the question.

"We'd all go mad if we saw everything!" said Seer Heart, cheerfully but not cruelly or mockingly. "We see what we know to look for, what we try to look for, and what we understand to look for. If we don't know to look for something, or don't understand why something is or will happen, we can't see it or see past it. You have to know that there's a pattern at all to see the way the pattern is shaped. That's why groups of seers form paths. It sort of crowd-sources that understanding, and pools our resources. It would take seers days to figure out anyone's future if we didn't form up into paths." Seer Heart pursed his lips. "Well, I suppose weather and crop seers would be fine, but those aren't particularly complex things to seer out. Not like people."

"So by being part of the Happy Path, I add to your understanding?" My whole clan, most orc clans, in fact, had joined the Happy Path as soon as the logic of it had been presented to the clan elders.

Seer Heart snorted. "Other seers can add understanding. Non-seers add... Well, you have your spelltools for building your spells, yes? You're one of mine, which I can use to build better seeric magic and futures."

I slumped. "So I'm just a useful tool to you? A thing?"

Seer Heart pulled me into a little hug. "Not at all! I'm very fond of you. You're a delight. I would never say that you're just a tool to me. That's Academy Path talk."

I thought about that and smiled. I'd rather be loved than be a tool. Then, thinking about what hehadn'tsaid, I grinned an orcky grin. "But Iamausefuldelight, right, Seer Heart as well as loveable?"

Seer Heart loudly cleared his throat. "So, rigger, how do things look on your end? Soon, would you say?"

I cackled with laughter.

"I'd say in the next minute or so, so be ready," replied the rigger, catching and setting the hoister into place.

I did a last check of all my things that I needed, then picked up my spear, checked my sword one more time, and stepped up and into it with Ombud Ranitulok, Seer Heart, Noona Bekah, and Dantell. Seer Heart was as fine as he ever was, while Ombud Ranitulok looked positively relaxed as she stood close to Dantell. Well, more relaxed than she did whenever she had to use the airship's hoister. Noona Bekah just clutched zir suitcase.

"Nothing like a bit of magic to shore up a thing like this," she said as the hoister jerked into motion, and jerk it did.

This town had apparently decided that having a slow hoister was good for no one, so we practically screamed towards the ground in it. Seer Heart and Noona Bekah mostly looked annoyed while Ombud Ranitulok and Dantell actually seemed to be enjoying themselves. I was doing everything I could to keep from throwing my hands into the air and grinning like a fool. It felt very orky.

As we neared the ground, the hoister jerked again and we slowed to a crawl. I felt magic tingle all over and fell on my butt at the sudden slowdown. Ombud Ranitulok didn't move a bit.

"That was quick," was all she had to say on the matter as she helped me back to my feet before stepping out of the hoister with the air of a queen.

"Or something," I muttered as I followed after her, rubbing my butt all the while.

Very, very orky.

"Well I'm off to talk with the Prophet Jekhipe, see if he or the Nameless God have spied out whatever horrible modifications have inevitably and secretly been done to this Pillar," and just like that Seer Heart had walked over the bridging that connected the two sides of the river into a single town and vanished out into the crowd growing and surging towards us from the other side.

Noona Bekah looked after Seer Heart and frowned, zir face scrunching up. "I feel like Seer Heart is a little too cavalier when it comes to prophets and the gods."

Ombud Ranitulok sighed. "Both Seer Heart and I treat all the prophets and gods with as much respect as they deserve."

Noona Bekah 'hmmed' but zir look didn't change. "I'm not saying that he, or you, for that matter, are disrespectful, just that..." Ze trailed off, then heaved a sigh. "I don't know. Maybe I'm just an old fart, but it feels strange to see folks treating them like neighbors you can ask to watch your pet while you're out of town. The Unnamed certainly isn't someone you can just ask for a cup of sugar, after all."

Ombud Ranitulok nodded her head slowly. "Right. I'd not thought about it like that, but I get it. I suppose I'm just too used to Kapkades to have noticed sooner. I'll talk to him about it. And you'renotan old fart, Noona Bekah. You're a young fart, if you're a fart at all."

"Thank you. You're wrong, I am, but thank you," ze said. Ze shook zir face, like ze was shooing a bug away, then turned to Dantell. "I'm going to test sleepers, if you could --"

"I'll go ask about tools and let you know," said Dantell, cutting zim off, and she too disappeared into the crowd.

The Nameless God and the Unnamed are the same being. Supposedly the Nameless God really does have a name, but since only special Asheri know it, the Asheri mostly call their god... well, the Unnamed.

I'm convinced that they don't know their god's name at all, and so are a lot of other people, which is why we call their god the Nameless God. Most older Asheri hate that, but they don't deny it either, which I think says a lot in and of itself.

Their god also doesn't have a gender, which is weird because their god is a full adult, as far as I understand things. They say that their god is "all genders" but they also say that their god isn't bigender, which is what "all genders" means as far as I'm aware. Well, it means "everything but agender," really, but since they say their god is also agender... I don't... I don't know. Their god is very odd, and they don't seem to like to talk about the subject. At least, they've never spoken about it to me.

Also also! The Nameless God is the only god the Asheri have! Like, according to them, the Nameless God is it! Oh sure, they acknowledge that other spiritual and divine beings exist, but they think they're just... human inventions, or serving the will of the Nameless God. Which, to be fair, Kapkades has never denied, and I've asked him. About the human invention thing, I mean. Not the 'serving the Nameless God' thing. But that's Kapkades, and he's basically a Mandic god by this point, and he's weird.

Not weird in the same way the Nameless God is weird, of course. But... still weird.

Noona Bekah then turned and smiled at me. I smiled back.

Ombud Ranitulok watched Dantell walk away for a moment before she turned back to me. "Come on, let's get set up to process potential thoxling sightings. It's what we're supposed to be here for, after all." She then turned and began to walk over to where the clan-crew had set up the shipping container while we followed after, like ducklings after their mama.

The space we had was -- well, some towns had a little enclosed shop-space beneath their airship port. Airships and rigid dirigibles could land, then deliver their goods into the designated shop-space and not have to worry about it. I'd been to a few of them and they were quite nice. The temperature was magically regulated, so it was always the same, inside and out.

This was not that.

Here, the 'shop-space' was a pavilion in the town square, while the 'shop' itself was the open end of the shipping container that everyone's packages came in. As such, the clan-crew had brought down a tent big enough for everyone to use. It wasn't magically temperature controlled, but it kept us out of the sun, so that was nice.

In fact, it was big enough that Noona Bekah was able to unfold zir suitcase into a neat little magic testing station, complete with a full set of obsidian spheres, under it as well. That meant we got to hear zim work. I always liked listening to zim work. Ze had a real gift for making folks feel valid, no matter how much magic they did or didn't have.

"Looks like you've got a knack for using enchanted items and other kinds of magic like that, but you've not awakened, not yet," was something Noona Bekah said more than once after someone, usually a child, had picked up the first sphere.

"That's a fifth tier glow, you just might be an Awakened! Seer Heart's not back yet, but once he's here let's have him take a proper look at you," was another such phrase, although it was a much rarer one to hear.

I'd heard zim say "My goodness, you've awakened," once, just once, but that wasn't on this trip. Mostly ze left the final decision making up to Seer Heart.

"I think we're going to be leaving with a few new Awakened this time," I said to Ombud Ranitulok once Noona Bekah got into zir groove and she'd finished setting up her own foldout table station. "Be a nice change of pace from the one or two that we've been picking up."

"Maybe, or we'll get one and still be here another week while they settle up their shop or business and pack their things," said Ombud Ranitulok. She was slumped and looked... not grumpy, but certainly not happy. "People in bigger towns like this one always have so much... Good morning!" Her look turned into a cheerful, perky one as a trio of Hakedari-Asheri folks approached her, and she sat up in her chair.

The oldest of them had wrinkled brown skin that made them look like a fruit that had been left out in the sun too long, with dark hair, a beard that went nearly down to their waist, and eyes that were nearly full white in color. They wore fancy robes that tried, not very hard, to scream 'Look at how humble I am.' They didn't have a gender marking and they certainly didn't look like they wanted to be here.

"You are an official wielder of profane magics, yes?" they asked, grunting out the words to Ombud Ranitulok. They didn't so much as look at me.

"I'm an Ombud-qualified agent of the Washrag Society and mage-ranked by the Academy, if that's what you're asking." Ombud Ranitulok shifted, and some of her false smile faded.

The old person scowled at Ombud Ranitulok. "I do not know what the Washrag Society is, nor why I should--"

"It means that Ombud Ranitulok is Marshal-qualified. And the Marshals consider her lieutenant-ranked, and she's lead investigator on the entire Dread Sorcerer Thoximos case," I said before he could insult Ombud Ranitulok any more than he already had.

Ombud Ranitulok didn't smile at me, or look pleased at me, but I knew she appreciated it. "Yes. That's what it means. I trust that stands up to you?"

The old person nodded, less forceful, more respectful. "It does."

Ombud Ranitulok smiled, a very toothy smile, like a shark's. "Good. Now. Can I help you?"

"Yes. My granddaughter here," and they gestured at a teenage Hakedari-Asheri standing just behind them, "Was fettered last time an official of magic came through some months back. She practiced forbidden magics, they said."

The teenager had long hair, reaching just past the middle of their back, lighter in tone than their grandparent's but only by a bit. They certainly looked less wrinkled, though their clothes were just as fine. They would have been very pretty if they didn't look so miserable.

The teen tried to move towards Ombud Ranitulok but a narrow-eyed glance from their grandparent stopped them in their tracks. The teen nearly grunted out what I was almost sure was a curse, but then spoke up. "I wasn't doing anything wrong! They just said I was."

Their grandparent didn't much react. "Regardless, you are fettered. She insists that she can be unfettered. This is nonsense of course, but I hope that you can talk sense into her." They sounded just about as smug as could be.

I glanced over at Noona Bekah and saw that ze'd gone pale, frozen in place, as if a nightmare had just come to life in front of zim. A small child stood in front of zim, bouncing on their feet.

"Can I be tested?" they asked, which seemed to snap Noona Bekah out of whatever shock ze had.

"Of course! Just put your hands on the sphere and we'll start," ze said.

The grandparent's head jerked towards them at the sound of zir approval, scowling as if we'd just insulted their family.

"You will do no such thing, Miri! You do not need to be tested, you are unmagic! I will not allow it to rise unbidden so that it can devour your soul!" they said. They were shouting, but not in the quiet way a family member would do if they didn't want to be seen to be shouting. No, this was a full yell.

"It comes if it comes, master teacher. Now, Miri was it? Put your hands on the sphere," said Noona Bekah, zir voice cool and zir eyes narrow, zir gaze firmly locked onto the grandparent's.