Needing Leah

The Story So Far:

18-year-old Liam Weber was enrolled in a girls-only school for reasons he is still getting to the bottom of. Forced to dress as "Leah" he has been adjusting to school life, exploring gender identity, and settling into a blossoming relationship with his domineering roommate Ellie. Volume 3 has seen the two of them travel to Ellie's home for Christmas. Her father has react badly to discovering "Leah" is Ellie's girlfriend. The last chapter end with Leah finding a way to break through to Ellie at a time she was spiralling into anger and withdrawal.

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27: Rebellion

It was a relief. After two days of Ellie growing more and more distant, since her dad had come home; it was a relief to see her collapse into tears.

"Ellie, it's ok. I'm here." I took her in my arms. She wrapped herself around me and cried even more. Broken, half-choked sobbing. I felt my eyes starting to well up at the sight. "It's ok. It's ok..."

"D-dy-d-d..." she was trying to speak but couldn't. Out came a wail and she gripped tighter to my body. Her tears dampened my cardigan. She pressed herself so tight against it, she could barely breathe.

"It's ok. You don't have to speak yet."

"Di-di-did-you...m-m-mean it?"

"Mean what? The song?"

Against my breasts, I felt her nod.

"Of course I did. You really think your dad can come between us? That Bryner can? Even if I drop out, I want to be with you. I..." I hesitated. "Ok, don't freak out when I say it. I...love...you..."

She drew herself out from my chest. All of her face was damp from tears, perhaps even snot and drool. I knewlovewas a word that scared her. It was the kind of bravery she struggled with most. Her eyes were wide but, rather than pull away, she locked contact with my own, then said.

"E-even when I'm like this?"

"Yes, are you joking?"

"And when I curtsied?"

"Ellie, I don't even know what that's all about. Of course I don't care."

"W-what about the bed?"

"The bed?"

"Wetting the bed."

"Oh." I almost laughed. It was an absurd and yet adorable thing to worry about. "I don't put much stock in what your dad says, ok? Besides, you were a child when that happened."

She shuddered with a sharp intake of breath. "I'm disgusting, Leah."

"No, you're fucking not. That's your dad speaking. If I hear his words coming out of your mouth like that again, I'll tell him to piss off."

She gave a watery laugh. I took it as a good sign. "Piss off? You're turning British."

"I love you, alright? I know it'd scare you to say that back, so I just want you to hear it from me and believe it. I love you and, no matter how awful Bryner has been, you have still made the last several months the best time of my life."

She began crying again, though hugged me as she did so, then kissed my neck. It was a long time before either of us spoke again. When we did, she was telling me how amazing my song was.

"You've always been so talented, honey. How you write that well, especially in a second language. I could never do anything like that."

"And my singing?"

"Your singing, I could do without," she joked, making me hit her in the side. "Yourscreeching, I could do without, but the rest was amazing."

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It was the strangest Christmas I'd ever had. There were no decorations anywhere in the house. At times, I wasn't even sure her dad was there. He had been avoiding us as much as possible.

Nonetheless, he cooked meals and left them out for us. He gave Ellie a present that turned out to be vouchers for various pubs and restaurants he owned. Ellie gave him a hand carved smoking pipe. It wasn't clear whether he liked it or not. My own present had come earlier in the day. Ellie had woken me up at 6.30am, knowing her dad would be out walking. It was an opportunity to peg me for another half an hour before pulling out, giving me a hard spank, then handing me a wrapped parcel that turned out to be...

"Fucking hell, how much did this cost?" A Dortmund football kit was already a good gift, but when I turned it over, I saw Lewandowski's name in print, then his signature in black marker.

"Enough. I googled to find out who their best player was."

"Yeah, I mean he hasn't played for Dortmund in years, but he's one of the best strikers in the world. Could you afford it?"

She gave a non-committal smile. "I mean, it's a women's shirt. There were limited options I could afford, and it does have a few scuffs."

"It's perfect," I said, trying it on and enjoying the way it fitted around my breasts. I gave her a kiss and promised her she'd hear the rest of my song when I'd finished writing it. In the meantime, we spent half of the day watching TV in the living room with her father. It was tense throughout. He barely spoke but Ellie was keen to try and do something reconciliatory. When he started watchingThe Great Escape, we went into the dining room to play cards, then back to her bedroom where we tried playingTimesplittersagain, only this time I made an effort to teach her what to do. She enjoyed it more that way, though would swear at me for my "bad instructions" every time she died.

Ellie even received a message from Thalia, wishing her a merry Christmas and offering a catch-up call. Ellie swerved it, wanting to focus on the two of us for the day, though it was still sweet to know Thalia had reached out at all. She hadn't messaged me, of course, though I presumed she didn't have my number. I had never thought to give it.

It was a strange Christmas but, compared to yesterday's drama, felt positive. I was even wondering if she'd turned a corner with her father. Ellie thought otherwise.

"He cut my allowance, Leah. He's waiting for me to run out of money. That's when he'll attack again - I know he will. He knows I know it, too."

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As the days grew on, I was starting to think Ellie was right. It felt like a calm before a storm. She was keen to avoid spending as much as possible, hoping her funds would last until we were back at Bryner. However, her dad didn't cookallour meals and deliberately seemed to buy in the ingredients only for whatever he was making. Fairly regularly, we were forced to buy our own food from the pricey village shop. Even with a stash of money Ellie kept hidden in an old poetry book, her balance was starting to dwindle.

I still wasn't sleeping in her room, though this at least made more sense now her dad kept checking to make sure I wasn't in there at night. I would have nightmares without her. Ellie would wake me at 6:30 every morning so she could fuck me while her dad was out walking. I had begun to wonder if my lack of cumming from anal had been psychological or perhaps something to do with the new location, though I was again getting much closer to orgasm, admittedly. I even may have achieved it had the timer not beeped just before. Twice, she had put me into puppy gear and yanked on the leash around my neck as she thrust into me. Trying not to moan or swear, but to bark and whine like a dog as she fucked me, was a surprisingly difficult task and made it a relief she only sometimes wanted pet play. I was strictly allowed no other stimulation outside of the morning routine. She even moved me to another, smaller chastity cage that I was enjoying less. She, of course, was allowed stimulation. Often "as a thank you" for getting pegged, she had me bury my face between her legs. I wasn't stupid enough to risk the punishment that would come from edging her again. I hadn't forgotten the pain of being tied up last time, plus I feared she may have owned even smaller chastity cages she could put me in.

We went on a lot of walks around the area, despite the freezing cold. We even returned some of the clothes I weren't keen on, in order to scrape together a bit more money. Notably, Ellie refused to let me return the bunny purse. We got to talk to Kaylen again in the process, who made me blush by calling mecutie.Somehow, the fact she knew I wasn't a girl, yet still saw me as one regardless; made it feel more special. We spent time people-watching in the town square, and invented stories about each stranger. In the evening, we watched films or showed each other our favourite music. She didn't like much of mine, but Ellie was doing a good job of getting me intoAurora, now. It was basically pop music but much of it sung with a soft, feminine innocence that hid a deeper, darker power beneath. Ellie thought it matched thedruid-girl aestheticthat I had talked about. Soon enough, I was singing along.

The sea waves are my evening gown,

And the sun on my head is my crown.

I made this Queendom on my own

And all the mountains are my throne.

I started teaching her some German. She showed me her favourite philosophy or spirituality. We spent an evening pretending to host a dumb but funfashion showwhere we'd mix and match all our clothes and pretend to walk a catwalk. All of the activities we had time to do outside of sex and away from schoolwork made me realise how much was still ahead of us. We were still so young and new to each other. This is how it felt to justbe a girlin love with another girl, I supposed. If only it could last. Ellie's funds were running out, despite our best efforts. The cold-war calm with her father threatened to give way to something worse. It was the frustration of this that gave me a new idea.

"Why don't we both drop out of Bryner? Both disown our parents. Fuck em."

She laughed, though I was only half-joking.

"It'd be good though, wouldn't it?" I said. "We could get a place together. I don't mind working in a cafe or whatever."

"Working as awaitress, though? You'd still be Leah."

I shrugged and told her it'd be worth it for the freedom. She doubted I really meant that but considered the idea.

"I guess it would be fun..." She laid back on her bed beside me. "I'd enjoy the look on his face. It's been ages since I really rebelled."

"Then let's at least dosomething! Maybe for New Year's Eve? Something dumb and rebellious. The kind of thing delinquent teens are meant to do."

"What, get drunk or high or run away from home?" she said frowning. "You know I don't drink...although...I guess we could go to a pub? Yeah...maybe that could work? Ring in the new year with strangers."

"Yeah, why not?" I said eagerly. The ceasefire between Ellie and her dad had been wearing on us more and more. Anything that might wind him up felt appealing. "It's just the problem of money."

"Well, I got those vouchers from my dad but..." she paused, then sat up enough to lean her head against my leg. "We could always just spend the rest anyway? I mean...the money's not gonna last until Bryner. We tried to save but he's bleeding us for food bills. At least splashing it early makes him think I don't give a fuck. At least we go out on our own terms."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah." She grinned. "We're gonna go into town and order the most food anyone has ever ordered. We're gonna go dancing. You can get drunk, if you like. I'll drink lemonade - no! I'll drink something posh and expensive.AppletizerorShloer.We'll celebrate the new year and even maybe make some friends. Also..." She then stopped, struck by a new idea. She climbed off the bed and hurried to my laptop.

"What? Also, what?"

"Also, I'm gonna contact a private eye and see how much it costs." She silenced my protests before I could even make them. "I know, I know, it'll be too much money. I'm just curious for the future; to know how much itwouldcost and if it is something they could help with. All I'm gonna give is a very vague explanation of what we need. No details at all. You can even read it back before I send." She sat at the desk to search online, glancing back at me momentarily. "While I sort this, why don't you figure out what you wanna wear for tomorrow night? Make it something special, yeah?"

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As it happened, her email was a good one. Knowing it wouldn't come to anything anyway, I wasn't particularly bothered. I spent a while testing outfits before deciding on the black-mesh bodysuit with faux-leather mini shorts, fishnet tights, and a black choker. I might've opted for my black heels, though I was still bad at walking in them, let alone dancing. I settled for black chunky trainers instead. When New Year's Eve came, Ellie helped me tie my hair into whatever style I wanted. I'd always been eager to try what I had assumed were calledbuns,though it was after Ellie styled my hair wrongly several times, that she finally realised what I meant. "You want space buns." They looked good once she'd finished. In fact, I would've done my hair like this all the time, if I knew how. I liked my hair flowing freely but tying it up like this looked both very strong and very, very cute.

Ellie straightened her hair and wore a deep emerald sequin dress that shimmered in the light. Mixed with her red hair, I joked she looked like a Christmas tree. She tried to look offended but couldn't quite hide the smile. We blasted Aurora more before we left, putting me in a good mood.

You have a home in my Queendom,

You have a place in my Queendom,

You have a home.

It was 7pm when we left. We made sure her dad heard us talking very loudly about how much alcohol we were going to drink. In the past, the idea of going out as Leah would've terrified me. Somehow, I felt the reverse. Why was that?

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Wetherigg wasn't quite the bustling social life we'd hoped for. We bounced between a few pubs before settling on the largest and busiest:Drover's Tap. It had an open area cleared out in front of the bar but not enough for many to dance, then lots of small booths on a raised area at the back. We found a booth to ourselves where we could survey the rest of the room. I drank IPA where Ellie sipped at a lemonade. We ordered so much food that we lost track. Mozzarella sticks four times alongside fish and chips, curry, pie, scampi, chicken wings, fajitas, nachos, mixed grill, cheesy chips, chocolate brownie, and ice cream sundae. We barely ate a third before reluctantly, we allowed the waiter to begin clearing much of it away.

"Still quite empty here," Ellie said, sitting back. "It is early, I guess. Should get busier."

"Is there anything you wanna do tonight?" I asked. There was music playing through speakers but not loud enough that we needed to shout.

"Yeah. Meet some people."

"Meet?"

"We're being rebellious teens, Leah. We need to flirt with strangers. Grind against their legs. I dunno. At least make a friend."

I had more been wondering if she wanted to go onto a club, not if she wanted to pull anyone.

"I'm just supposed to sit here and watch you flirt with other guys?" I asked, making her frown.

"We're both gonna."

"What?"

She giggled loudly at my shock.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you've never wondered if you'd be able to pull a bloke while dressed as Leah?"

"No! No I haven't, funnily enough."

"You must wonder?" She leant forwards, grinning, and tapped me on the nose. "It's not like it'll go anywhere, and we'll never see any of these people again. We'll just...I dunno...flirt and see if anyone finds us hot, then ditch them. It'll give you confidence, won't it?"

"Only if it works." No one had ever questioned my gender at Bryner, though no one was likely to scrutinise it there to begin with. When you're in an all-girls school, why would anyone think to doubt it? I thought I looked like a girl...but whether anyone would see me asattractive, was an entirely different matter.

"Course it'll work. Jess likes you, doesn't she? And don't forget James," she said, nudging me in the ribs when I looked uncomfortable. Kiara's boyfriend potentially hitting on me wasn't one of my fondest memories, though we didn't know he had been hitting for certain. Ellie nodded seriously, taking me by surprise. "That was actually something I wanted to talk to you about, anyway."

"What, James?"

"Getting revenge on Kiara." She leant back in her chair, brushing the red locks out of her face. Straightening her hair made her look so very different. Less fierce, more composed. "I was thinking we should try and befriend James, you know? Get him drunk in a pub and bleed him for information."

"That was your great plan?" She had told me before she had an idea for how to get back at Kiara. "You don't see any gaping flaws in that?"

"High risk but high reward. It's one idea we could try, anyway. He seems like the kind of meat-head who might fall for it and, ifwe're persuasive,I doubt he would tell Kiara."

"What do you mean bypersuasive?" I said, frowning. Ellie chose to ignore the question.

"If we did try it, you'd need to be confident at flirting, wouldn't you? We both know it's you he'd be interested in."

"But...this is crazy, if we tried to -" My second attempt to object was interrupted just as quickly. This time, by the presence of strangers. As though on cue, two men had appeared. I guessed they were a similar age to us, maybe slightly older. One was tall and thin with spiked blonde hair and an awkward stance. The other was shorter with messy blonde hair and a cocky smile. He was the one who spoke.

"Mind if we join you?"

"Take a seat," Ellie said at once, then quickly stuck her tongue out at me when she saw my scowl. The cocky boy sat next to Ellie. The other positioned himself beside me so cautiously it was like he expected to fall through the seat. He smiled shyly. I don't know if I managed a smile back. I was too busy trying not to freak out.

"I'm Aaron," the cocky boy said. "He's Joe. We were thinking about getting one of the big pitchers, so it's lucky we bumped into you."

"It's lucky you found two girls to ply with alcohol?" Ellie asked with mock offence.

"No, it's lucky that you both get free drinks. I like to be generous on New year's."

"I don't drink," Ellie said with the sort of smile that suggestedcheckmate. "Leah does, though."

"Leah?" He now turned to me. He stared with faint hunger before I saw his eyes flick down to my cleavage through the black mesh. "Would you like to share a pitcher with us, Leah?"

"I'm ok," I said. It didn't dissuade him.

"Would you mind if we ordered a pitcher to this table? They do them in 5 litre sizes, here, and I knowyoudrink." He pointed to my IPA. "Either you've got a glass of piss, or that's the shittest beer I've ever seen."

I could hardly say no. They withdrew to geta drink you'll like loads better. When they were gone, Ellie reached across the table to grab my hand.

"Men, am I right? Gotta know more about alcohol than everyone else."

"Let's ditch them," I said. "We've proved we can pull. Let's go back to that first pub."

"Nahh, we ain't pulled yet. The bloke beside you hasn't said a word. Chat him up."

"No, Ellie."

"Will you object, if I chat up that cocky fucker?"

She knew I couldn't object. I had kissed Jess twice. I had almost gone a lot further. Ellie stroked my hand.

"I'll be with you, honey. It'll be fine. We're just mucking about, ok?"

"What do I even say?"

"Just laugh at their jokes and let them think they're in control. The more they think they are, the easier it is to steer them."

It sounded like good advice, but I couldn't help noticing she was talking as though men were, not only a different species, but that I wasn't one of them.

.

When they returned, Aaron again did most of the talking. First to both of us, though it quickly became apparent he was more interested in Ellie. Her refusal to drink seemed to mark a challenge for him. He was determined to get her at least sip the cocktail. Joe took his time to warm up. He seemed to want all of us to remain engaged in a group conversation, but when Aaron and Ellie fell away into their own discussion aboutOasis, he was forced to talk to me directly.