Home for Horny Monsters

Hi, all! Annabelle Hawthorne back yet again with "This is what I'm thinking about during big family meals and someone says "hey, you're really quiet, what's going on?" and I'm all "Uh...I'm just really enjoying this...beef?""

Turns out I was eating pork.

To all the new readers, consider this your Gandalf moment. Should you step into this chapter with no previous knowledge of the story, you will likely topple into the depths of confusion. Unlike Gandalf, you probably won't come back to life with a new wardrobe and a Devil-may-care attitude, but I'm not the one writing your story, so go right ahead.

Returning readers, welcome back! While all those new readers are jumping back to Ch. 001, let's break out the good snacks, I've got some leftover Halloween candy, some cinnamon bread from my neighbor, and a bottle of sparkling apple cider that I found in the discount bin at my grocery store.

As always, I want to take the time to thank you all for your continued support and enthusiasm regarding this story. Dozens of hours go into each chapter, so I've really felt appreciated when you take the time to leave your comments, send me feedback, and drop all those stars for me. It only takes a few moments, but it has made a world of difference.

To answer some common questions I've been getting:

Yes, I gave up on serious search terms quite some time ago

No, I will not send you feet pics

I've never seen It's a Wonderful Life, I prefer Scrooged

Virgil Knightley is a huge weeb, but I adore him

Around 64 ounces a day

I aim for two chapters a month, but I miss sometimes, check the bio

Caramelized onions are supposed to take at least an hour, anyone who tells you different is lying

(okay, so some of these questions didn't come from you all)

A special thanks again to my beta readers, like the Mikes, Dragonsen, Pastor, Zing, and Lit's own TJ Skywind. They always give me great advice and have helped me to share a good, clean product with you all. And yes, they do fight on occasion, much like anytime you try to mix

Fire and Water

The spiraling staircase was narrow, barely large enough for two people to walk side by side. Ingrid licked her lips and let out a silent cough, hoping to hide the fact that she was just testing to see if the Director's spell had worn off. Though some of her abilities didn't need verbal components, there was generally some sort of vocalization required, much like the kiai a martial artist might shout. It acted more as a mental focus than anything else, and Ingrid vowed to start practicing magic without it.

However, that was a future problem. Right now, she was descending toward the holding cells with a knight at her back. Without words to convince him that the Order was being duped by the Director, the only path remaining was action. With her hands bound in metal cuffs the Director had slapped on her and a wary captor, she was uncertain what that action would even be.

A tremor ran through the building. Ingrid and her escort paused, both of them looking up as a layer of dirt fell from the ceiling. She looked back at the knight, who simply shrugged and gestured down with his blade.

"Keep moving," he said. "I know you don't understand what's going on now, but a few days in Quarantine with a therapist will get your head back on straight."

Ingrid lifted her hands high enough for him to see her middle fingers.

"C'mon, Sister Ingrid, this is classic Stockholm Syndrome." The man sighed in disappointment. "Or some sort of enchantment, which is more likely. We had to sedate the survivors from your team. They were ranting like lunatics last night."

Ahead of them, a section of wall clicked open. Aurora stepped through, clutching a clipboard to her chest. For a moment, it looked like the woman was surprised to see them, but she collected herself.

"Director wants me to speak with her once she's secure," Aurora said, then lifted her clipboard. "To get some initial data for the Council to look at and maybe find some holes in their story. We're already re-classifying the Caretaker's threat level, but if he can do this..."

"Yeah, it's pretty bad. I heard they even sent most of the staff home to prevent casualties." The knight used the flat of his blade to push Ingrid against the wall as they passed the hostess. "It sucks knowing that our own can be turned against us. Stay behind me."

"Of course." Aurora followed them in silence. There was another loud thud from above, but nobody stopped this time. Ingrid felt the spell around her mouth vanish, but said nothing. It was two versus one, now, and the odds were heavily stacked against her. They got to the bottom of the stairwell and stepped into a concrete hallway. At the end was a bank of cells with small monitoring windows.

"Where are the guards?" asked Aurora as she peered through the nearest window. "Shouldn't there be a full team watching them?"

"It's just me," said the knight. "The Director has the others taking the Caretaker to the docks to hand him over to the merfolk. They should be back--"

There was a loud crackling sound, followed by a solid thud. Ingrid turned around to see that the knight was on the ground, convulsing wildly. Aurora had dropped her clipboard and was clutching a stun baton, which she continued to jab into the man's back.

Ingrid watched in curiosity as Aurora shocked the man into unconsciousness. The hostess knelt down and searched the man's pockets to retrieve the keys to Ingrid's cuffs.

"What a fucking mess," the hostess muttered, then unlocked Ingrid's cuffs. "This whole thing is a fucking mess."

"Yes. It really is." Ingrid rubbed her wrists, then moved to the cell doors to look inside. Aurora unlocked the doors and pulled them open, which caused the occupants to rise and step out with trepidation.

"Sister Ingrid?" A young mage named Caleb looked at Ingrid in disbelief, then ran forward and hugged her. "You survived!"

"So I did." Ingrid tried not to tense up at the sudden bodily contact, but hugged the man back. "I was saved by the Caretaker's people."

"Leave it to that sexy bastard to steal all my thunder, then." Wallace stepped out of his cell, a wry grin on his face. He was covered in cuts, mud, and blood. His left hand was tucked into the waistband of his shorts, his forearm splinted with two pieces of wood and some fabric. "I went back for you, just so you know. It just took me a bit is all."

"Wallace." Ingrid pushed herself away from Caleb, already ignoring the other survivors. Aurora was taking care of them with no issue, asking each of them about a woman named Theresa. "You look like shit."

"Feel like it, too." Her knight chuckled, then wrapped her in a tight hug with his good arm. "I followed your tracks to a cliff, but lost you from there. Was afraid they had pushed you off. That was how they got a lot of our people, you know."

Ingrid nodded, trying to swallow the sudden lump in her throat. In retrospect, she realized she had given very little thought to the others. She wasn't sure if it was just an emotional defense mechanism or something else. But with Wallace standing in front of her, all sorts of emotions suddenly bubbled to the surface. He had been the one constant in her life all these years, the one person she could rely on, and he had disappeared during the fight, fate unknown.

And now he was back, her emotional rock returned from the dead. She told herself that the tears in her eyes were from the dust that kept drifting down from the ceiling.

"What the hell is going on upstairs?" asked a knight named Mila. She was covered in wounds similar to Wallace, but both of her hands had been wrapped tightly into fists with fabric that made her look like a back-alley streetfighter. There were bloodstains all along her knuckles, and at least a couple fingers didn't look quite right.

"War." Aurora looked at the men and women around her, her dark eyes filled with heartbreak and rage.

"Sounds like a fight, then." Wallace crouched down and picked up the sword the knight had dropped. He gave the sword a light swing and then held it on his shoulder. "I don't know about you all, but I had plenty of time to rest last night. Who are we fighting?"

Aurora shook her head. "I'm not entirely sure," she said. "But it's clear the Director betrayed us."

"And the Captain is our enemy." Ingrid stared at the motley group of people who watched her. Including Wallace, there were only seven of them. At least two were being held up by their friends. "The merfolk are on his side for now, but that will change once Princess Leilani tells them the truth."

"And the Caretaker?" asked Mila. The ground trembled beneath them and all the lights flickered.

"He is who we are fighting for," said Ingrid, glaring at the others, daring anyone to challenge her words. "There's no time to explain, but we owe him big time. I owe him more than you could imagine." She didn't even fully understand why she had added that last bit. Ever since waking up in a strange bed with an old woman looking over her, Ingrid had a sense that Mike had somehow fixed a crack in her heart she hadn't known was there. "So if you still want to follow the Director's orders, let me know now so I can stick you back in your cell to rot."

Wallace snorted. "Don't worry. We saw through the Director's bullshit once we got back, didn't we?" He looked at the others, who nodded emphatically. "We figured out that Francois was controlling the skeletons and put two and two together pretty quick. I just wish more of us had survived."

"More of us will fall if we don't sort this out." Ingrid looked at Wallace. "Right now, there's a full scale military operation going on at Mike's house. Our people there are going to get killed."

"You really think so?" asked Caleb. "They all seem so...goofy."

Ingrid shook her head. "A deliberate farce. They didn't want us to know how dangerous they were. It wasn't a malicious act of deception. Rather, they just want to be left alone."

Aurora stepped forward now, tears running down her face. "From what little I've seen upstairs, they're still holding back."

The whole room shook and the lights went out. Ingrid sent a pulse of magic into her fingertips, then formed a ball of light in her hands that cast eerie shadows on Aurora's face. More dirt fell from above, and a crack had appeared in the wall.

"I don't think they're holding back anymore," said Ingrid, who knelt down to pick up the unconscious knight. "Someone help me get him outside."

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The outer facade of the central tower of Paradise crumbled and fell away from the structure, scattering chunks of debris outward as the two colossal serpents tumbled behind it. Mike grabbed Kisa by the hand and yanked her out of the way of a large concrete slab that exploded on impact with the sidewalk where they had been standing. Beth magically lifted water from a nearby hot tub and blasted it into a pair of Order personnel to knock them away to safety as both Ratu and Mohan crashed into the ground.

"Run!" shouted Mike at the dumbfounded people standing near the burning restaurant.

A merman was immediately crushed to death beneath Ratu whose body was covered in flames. Mohan slithered free, a cyclone of air carrying his bulk several feet above the ground. He smashed through the roof of the large dining room, sending staff members running for safety.

A figure sprinted away down the hallway, and Mike frowned to see that it was Francois. He looked at where the man had been and saw Opal reforming her body around a chunk of concrete that had landed on her.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Opal nodded, then gestured angrily in Francois' direction. The man's right arm was dangling like a loose noodle. Mike grabbed Opal's vessel, allowing the slime girl to retreat so he could carry her.

The ground rumbled beneath them as Ratu lifted her head and hissed, yanking flames away from the burning restaurant. They swirled around her body and formed into a spiraling vortex above her head which then crashed down on the building Mohan had vanished into. A gust of wind rocked Paradise, shattering windows as Mohan rose up from the restaurant.

Where Ratu looked like a python, Mohan had the hooded head of a cobra. Both of them bared their fangs at each other, and Mike observed in both curiosity and horror as their spells clashed.

To any outsider, it would appear that the snakes were simply having a hissing match, but Mike watched as spells were rapidly summoned and dismissed by both combatants. Ratu tried to form a fireball, which Mohan undid by starving it of oxygen. The Director then created whirling scythes of air that Ratu deflected up into the sky where they fell apart.

Mike, Kisa, and Beth ran in the same direction Francois had, which was toward the beach. They were followed by Order personnel and a few stray merfolk. Paradise shuddered, and people cried out in fear from different levels as a mass evacuation took place.

A few mages attempted to stabilize the structure, unaware that Ratu and Mohan were still fighting and would bring it down soon enough. Kisa actually swatted a wand out of someone's hand while Beth used the wand she held to break the sprinkler heads. She sent the resulting spray of water down the hallway, blinding anyone who tried to run against it.

"Get to the beach!" Beth yelled at anyone who would listen.

Mike wondered if she was sensing the extreme danger that he was, every fiber of his body screaming at him to GET OUT! Kisa stopped to help a merwoman who was limping, the cat girl straining when she couldn't move the woman. Mike helped, the two of them dragging the woman down the hall.

"Keep running!" Beth waved her wand and the water pooled beneath the merwoman, allowing her to slide along the floor as Mike and Kisa pulled her hands. As if inspired, the mermaid took control of the water as well, sending high pressure jets forward that pushed debris out of the way and carried people faster than they could run.

They exited the long hallway along with several other people, everyone fleeing from Paradise. The side building they had just left was still intact, but Mike heard a roaring sound, followed by a thud that he felt in his chest. A massive crack appeared along the decorative brickwork, and a chunk of the facade fell away to reveal the steel beams underneath.

The central tower in Paradise fell first, sending a cloud of choking debris outward in every direction. Mike watched as it got caught up on the magical shielding and piled high like a stormcloud before blowing out toward the ocean. He wrapped his arms around Beth and Kisa just as Opal emerged, sheltering them with her gelatinous body.

Sharp stones pelted the people on the beach, followed by blazing hot winds. The merfolk fled into the water while the Order waded out as far as they could.

Out on the beach, Mike spotted Francois down near the end of the dock. He was almost at his boat.

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath. Captain Francois was moments away from escape when a slim figure emerged from the waves, catapulting herself a dozen feet up into the air before throwing her trident at a downward angle.

Captain Francois didn't make a sound as the trident pierced his chest hard enough that his body jerked backward through the air. He tumbled once along the dock and then went still, his remaining eye gazing up into the sky.

Behind them, Paradise rumbled as the remaining buildings started to collapse.

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Ratu slithered up into a ball, her shifting coils protecting her from the shards of glass that rained down from above. The structure around her bent and shifted as she commanded the concrete to fracture and form into thick spikes that she drove into Mohan.

"Please. I command the earth just as well as you do," he said, the words coming out as a long hiss to anyone else who might be listening. The spikes crumbled on contact with his body, the shards now caught up in the powerful vortex that surrounded him. He used the crumbled stone as projectiles, but Ratu's face was hidden from view. Some of the stones were tiny enough that they actually exploded in the super heated air around her body. "And it feels like you're out of practice."

Ratu didn't respond to him, not out of any sense of danger or inability to speak. Frankly, there was nothing to be said. Mohan had become a threat to her family, to the future she wanted to be a part of. If she could snap her fingers and rip his skeleton free from his serpentine body, she would simply do so and be done with it.

But Mohan was strong. He had always been an accomplished mage, and his elemental control of air and wind had been impressive even when they were young. When Ratu had gone into hiding, she had focused her energy on studying how magic worked at a fundamental level, which didn't always help when it came time to fighting with someone. Did her fireballs burn brighter and hotter than ever? They did. But they still required oxygen to burn, which Mohan stripped away.

Still, while Mohan ran his mouth, Ratu used her mind. He constructed spellforms, both simple and complex, and she countered them on a foundational level. Commanding the wind to mix and churn? She added her own mana and made it spiral out of Mohan's control. Highly pressurized bursts intended to pierce her hide? Poke holes in the side and allow it to flow away. They were at a magical stalemate, the two of them now physically assaulting each other in the hopes that they could break the other's concentration.

She regretted the harm being done to Paradise, but only because she knew there was collateral damage. People had been injured and killed. Early on, she had seen Mike, Kisa, and Beth flee from the battle and could sense the Caretaker down on the beach, safe from the fight. Ever since she had nearly died in the Labyrinth, she had spent time contemplating how to best use her magic should she find herself in such a bind again. Against Mohan, she would never hold back.

Sharp fangs pierced her side, but Ratu didn't counter with a bite of her own. The way she was coiled up now meant it would take too long to free her head, which would open her up to whatever assault he had planned. She flexed her body as if to do so, then tunneled her head beneath the soft sand as sharp blades of pressurized air bit into her scales and pierced her flesh.

Positioning her body underground, she burst up and slammed the top of her head into Mohan's lower jaw. The naga was caught off guard, causing him to tip over backward. When he hit the ground, it was with enough force that Paradise swayed dangerously. Sensing an opportunity, Ratu shattered the foundation with a thought in the hopes that she could drop the building on Mohan's head and maybe crack his skull.

He surprised her by squirming forward and away, digging his head into the ground and tunneling beneath Paradise. When he emerged, it was from the third floor, his mouth open wide as he came down on her from above. Ratu sent up a wave of fire to blind him, followed by a geyser of sand. The heat was intense enough that the sand melted, twisting into brutal spires that Mohan crashed against. He let out a hiss of pain before going back beneath the ground, the molten spikes breaking off as he disappeared.

"Is that all you've got?" he whispered, using the wind to communicate. A swirling vortex had formed above Paradise, Mohan's attempt to create a tornado. Ratu doubted the protective measures the Order had employed extended up into the sky. "You're no better than a human with a sharp stick."

Suddenly inspired, Ratu chased after Mohan, using the fire around her body to create tunnels of glass. Up above, she felt the seismic shift as Paradise toppled, large pieces of it collapsing now. The two of them chased each other beneath the ground, careful to avoid getting too close to the water table. Digging too deep could easily turn into disaster if enough water followed them.