Home for Horny Monsters

Hey everybody, here I am with the next exciting chapter of HFHM!

If you are new, it's honestly easiest if you go back to Chapter 1. This story is written in chapters and you are smack dab in the middle of Book Three. Besides, there's plenty of monster sex you have already missed.

A special shout out to those of you who wrote me saying you've never sent a letter to an author on here before. I received a bunch of those after my last post and it brought the biggest fucking smile to my face to hear that you just had to tell me how much you enjoyed this little story of mine. I don't always reply to those messages, but I do read them (and keep them in a special Feelgood folder in my email).

I always update my profile when I submit to Lit, so consider either following me or hitting refresh every week or so on my bio to see when the next chapter is coming.

Enough gushing from me. I'm about to make a special wish come true for many of you who have asked for this over the last year.

The Naga, the Fox and the Wardrobe

The door of the wardrobe didn't move.

Puzzled, Mike grabbed the handle even tighter and pulled again, but it still wouldn't budge. The wardrobe felt like it had been anchored into the wall, the door completely immobile. Frustrated, he tried rattling the door when he realized that he had missed one very important detail. Right below the handle was a small keyhole.

"Ugh." He got ready to kick the wardrobe out of frustration when he remembered that he had a key sitting in his dresser. It was the one he had found last week in the downstairs front closet. Excited, he started running back to his bedroom, pausing immediately upon entering.

"What the fuck am I doing?"

He turned back and stared at the mysterious wardrobe. Even from here, he could feel its pull on him. What could be on the other side of those doors that entranced him so? It wasn't just curiosity or a need to feel like he was making progress with the house. Something magical was trying to lure him into the wardrobe, and he wondered if it had his best interest at heart.

He moved toward the wardrobe again, but turned at the stairs, running down them once he looked away. Already, the mystical pull was fading. Once at the bottom, he went out the back door to find Zel, Abella, and Naia sitting around the fountain.

"Hey, I need a favor." He sat on the water's edge. "There's a key in the top drawer of my dresser. Can somebody go get it and give it to Naia?" He briefly explained the magical compulsion of the wardrobe to all of them along with the memory of Emily using portals to travel. "I don't want to go wandering in without thinking things through first. I'm fairly certain that it goes somewhere, but don't know for certain, and I'm worried the key may have the same spell on it or something."

"I'm on it." Zel walked to the house, her hooves clomping on the wood once she was in the door.

"Someone's learning caution," Naia said, kissing Mike on the forehead. After waiting a minute, she vanished with a splash then reappeared, the small key in her hand.

His heart pumped frantically, and his hand shot out to grab it from her. At the last second, he closed his fingers and pulled his hand back. He knew he had made the correct decision.

"Hold onto it for me? Until I'm ready."

She grinned. "Yes, but only for a bit. Anything I take down there alters the flow of my spring, and I'm running out of good places to shove things."

"I'll deal with it soon." He let out a sigh of relief when Naia swallowed it and it vanished from sight. "I just thought it would be best if I didn't wander off to some other part of the planet with nobody knowing where I went."

"Agreed." Abella put a hand on his shoulder. She smiled, the fused crack in her face glinting in the sunlight. It was the stone equivalent of a scar, yet somehow the flaw looked good on her. It traveled down her forehead, across her eye and then along her cheek. "We can't bail you out if we don't know where you are."

He smiled but didn't feel good about it on the inside. "Well, at least I know I can count on you."

She smiled, her azure eyes glittering in the daylight.

Zel stepped out of the backdoor, her hooves clomping on the pavement.

"Check it out!" She lifted up her skirt to reveal that she had put on a pair of Mike's boxers. "There's even a tail hole in the back!" She spun around to reveal that she had practically destroyed the fly of his underwear by pulling her tail through.

Naia laughed, the sound snapping Mike out of his funk. He stood up and gave Zel a hug. "You can keep that pair. I don't need them anymore."

"Really?" She did a little spin, releasing her skirt. "They aren't as lacy as the ones Abella showed me on her tablet."

"You've been showing her underwear on your tablet?" he asked the gargoyle.

"A bit of this and that." Abella shrugged, crossing her arms. "Sometimes the people in my videos wear underwear."

"But never for very long," Zel added. "If they know they're going to have sex, why do they bother getting dressed at all?"

Of course. Mike laughed again, the tension caused by the wardrobe fading from his mind. "If Abella's been showing you porn, I suspect you have lots of questions, actually. We can address those later." He turned his attention to the nymph. "Naia, do you know anything about the wardrobe?"

"Doesn't ring any bells, lover." She sat on a fountain of water. 'It feels the same as earlier. I don't remember, but I feel like I really should."

"That's a shame."

"I would like to look at it with you," Zel said. "I think it's fascinating that you have an enchanted wardrobe."

"Who has an enchanted wardrobe?" Ratu came out of the backdoor, her white kimono decorated with a golden dragon that flew around on the fabric, spiraling around her chest before disappearing.

"I do. I think I'm being magically compelled to check it out."

"I see. I would love to take a look at it with you. But first," she held up the magical emerald. "Naia, if you would?"

The nymph sighed. "Toss it in."

Ratu obliged, the emerald splashing in the fountain and then disappearing. "I had a breakthrough this morning regarding that particular piece of magic."

"You did? What is it?"

"It's interesting, that's what." Ratu sat on the edge of the fountain and hiked up her kimono, revealing her scaly legs. She turned to lie on her back, unfolding the front of her kimono until she was barely covered. "The sun feels good today."

"Ratu, c'mon." He sat next to her, wondering what she was up to.

"Rub my feet and I'll tell you." She gave him a wink, and he rolled his eyes. He took her demure foot in his hands and began kneading the flesh around the base of her toes.

"Ah, that feels good. Anyway, like I was saying, the emerald is one of the more amusing trinkets I've come across. Bluntly put, it grants you a wish."

"Wait, what?" Mike stopped squeezing. Ratu gave him a small kick with her free foot until he continued.

"You heard me. Nothing big, mind you, but it can do little things. It calibrates to your heart's desire, and that's what its function becomes. Magic like this is extremely powerful. If you desired money, the emerald would attune to that desire and help you find it. If you wanted power, it could do that. That's why I wasn't able to figure out what it did for so long. I didn't have a strong enough desire for its abilities to manifest, so it's just been sitting on my desk, raw potential waiting to take form."

"Oh, like a magical catalyst!" Zel exlaimed, then ran to the garage and returned with a notebook. From where he sat, Mike could see that she was drawing the emerald from memory.

"That's another way of putting it. Mike, are you doing something different with your hair?" Ratu was looking at the top of his head.

"What?" He stopped rubbing her feet and felt his hair. "No, why?"

She shrugged. "Looks different today, like it's fuller or something. Anyway, the previous king of rats wanted an army to protect his people. Thus the emerald gave him the power to animate furniture. Our desires are largely open to interpretation, so the gem does its best to accommodate."

"But then what was the deal with Jenny?" he asked.

"Oh, that's my favorite. Your little friend is cursed to live in a doll forever. As a result, her desires are a little out of whack. What happened when she was under the effects of the gem?"

He blushed. Everybody had heard from Tink about the incident in the church. It wouldn't have bothered him as much if it hadn't happened in front of Beth. "She trapped me in a dream and seduced me."

"You are half correct. Oh, yes, I love it when you hit that spot." He was now squeezing the space between her big toe and the one next to it. "I am under the impression that Jane wanted certain experiences prior to her death. Her desire manifested as a grand illusion, allowing you to be with her intimately. Part of me wonders if her memory hasn't been permanently altered as a result. She may truly believe now that your interaction occurred so many centuries ago."

He frowned, thinking back on the encounter. "That makes sense, I guess. But it was more than that. Jenny was being weird and kept transforming into herself. It seemed like she was talking to me, but also like she was just babbling."

"That's something I don't have an answer for."

"Hmm." He continued rubbing, working his way back toward her heel.

Abella flew off, no longer interested in the conversation. The blast from her wings disturbed the loose dirt around the fountain, scattering it outward.

There was something more to what Ratu had said. "Jane wanted a future more than anything, not just sex. So why just that moment? Why not bring her back to life or something?"

"A future, huh?" Ratu turned her head toward Naia, her outstretched hand playing in the water. "Any ideas, nymph?"

"You said that she was saying weird things, right?" Naia held up a sphere of water. "Like what?"

"I don't remember, honestly. She kept changing back and forth between Jenny and Jane, which was pretty distracting. I did notice the emerald kept feeding her magic, and her eyes were glowing. Now I'm worried because she hasn't spoken to anybody since then."

"A spiritual manifestation like that must have exhausted her." Ratu flicked the water. "Now I wonder something. You say that Jane desired a future. How would the gem interpret such a thing and give it to her?"

"By letting her see the future! Like a prophecy." Zel said, underlining something on the page. Everyone looked at her. "Weird phrases, glowing eyes. All the hallmarks of precognition."

"Seriously?" He looked at Ratu. "Is that possible?"

"Perhaps."

He sighed. "That kind of makes sense. It almost seemed like Jane and Jenny were two distinct beings. Is the emerald powerful enough to treat someone like that as two separate people?"

"I imagine so. Jenny is a bit of a special case. She is unable to move on, trapped on the material plane. The rules are likely different for her."

"Okay, so now that we know what it does, what now? Should I have you destroy it? It seems like it would be fairly dangerous."

"Maybe. I see no reason to rush though." She winked at him. "And neither should you." She poked him with her free foot. "Unless you have somewhere else to be?"

He laughed. "No, I really don't."

Mike continued to rub her feet, listening to the others talk. If Jenny really had seen the future, what had it been? His thoughts had been all consumed by Cecilia's absence as well as Emily's mysterious schemes. The embarrassment involving Beth hadn't helped matters either, forcing him to put it out of his mind. He had no idea if it had been real or a dream, but ultimately it didn't matter.

"When do you think we could examine this wardrobe of yours?" Ratu asked, snapping him away from his thoughts.

"This afternoon, I guess. I would like to check in with Reggie and Tink first so they know where I'm going. Then we can properly prepare."If such a thing was even possible,he thought.

"Sounds good. Come and get me when you're ready. I'm just going to soak up some sun." She slid the kimono off her body, lying naked on the stone wall, soaking up the heat from the sun. Snakeskin patterns shifted on her flesh and she closed her eyes, a thin smile crossing her face. Soon she was scaly from head to toe, and he couldn't help but stare at her for a little bit.

"I can't wait to document it. Sounds like the wood itself is enchanted. If so, I wonder if I could find a way to grow some." Zel shut her notebook and tucked her pencil behind her ear. "I'll be around." She blew him a kiss and disappeared into the garage.

Mike sat on the wall, watching Ratu doze. Naia's birds were singing her various tunes, landing in the upper tier of her fountain. He fought the urge to go on about his business, choosing instead to enjoy this moment of peace. A strange feeling in his gut told him that it would be the last one for a while.

-

Beth opened her eyes, blinking several times. She had fallen asleep at the desk in the office, her laptop still open and some documents spread out before her. Yawning, she checked the time. She must have conked out over an hour ago.

Stretching her arms, she couldn't help but lean back and stare at the moulding on the ceiling. The grooves had dirt and what looked like soot in some places, which wouldn't entirely surprise her. She grabbed her coffee cup and lifted it to her face.

That was odd. It was still mostly full. She sipped at it and made a face. It had gone cold.

Her cell phone rang and she was tempted to let it go to voicemail until she saw that her phone was displaying a picture of a young woman with red and black hair with a cartoon halo over her head giving the camera the finger.

"Lily?" she answered. "When did you put your picture on my phone? Hell, when did you get a phone?"

The succubus chuckled on the other end. "When you were sleeping, of course. I put myself in the night before I left."

"Figures." Beth pushed off the desk with her foot, and the chair she sat on spun around to face one of the windows. "How is Colorado?"

"We're not in Colorado anymore. Haven't been for a couple days."

"Where are you?"

"California." Lily sighed. "We ran into some problems on our way here and things got... complicated."

"Are you okay? What about Dana?" Beth hadn't gotten a chance to know the zombie very well and had more than a little anxiety about letting her roam the countryside.

"We're fine for now. I was calling home because I need money for a plane ticket?"

"To where?"

"I would rather not say. I just need some numbers from you so I can finish paying online."

"I thought Dana couldn't ride on a plane? Something about biting the other passengers."

Lily chuckled again. "She's too big for carry-on, but not for checked bags. I'm traveling as you, by the way. Have you ever wanted to join the Mile High Club?"

"Please don't fuck people looking like me." She frowned. "There's no way she's going to pass for luggage. Isn't there a weight limit?"

"A hundred pounds is the limit."

"There's no way Dana weighs less than a hundred."

"She does without her legs."

It took Beth several seconds to process what Lily had just said. "Care to repeat that? I think I misheard you."

"Her legs come off. Well, they can, and we can put them back on later. I have them in my carry-on."

"That's..." several words filtered through Beth's mind. Disgusting, macabre, horrifying. "Don't they smell?"

"Now now, that's extremely rude. As long as she gets a good jolt of magic juice after we stitch them back on, she'll be fine."

"How do you know that?"

There was a long pause before Lily responded. "Like I said, things got complicated, but our girl is handling whatever death throws at her like a champ."

"What about the x-ray scanners?"

Lily chuckled. "Tick-Tock is the bag. They can only see what he wants them to. That's if he doesn't just get up and walk around the scanner. Wouldn't put it past him."

"He?"

"That's how Dana refers to him. Said since he was a grandfather clock, it only made sense."

Beth sighed. "Please don't get me banned by TSA. Or fuck people in my body. Promise me those things and I'll give you what you need."

"Yes, boss," Lily replied.

Beth pulled out a credit card and read off the numbers. She wasn't worried about the cost---Mike would reimburse her."Did you get that?"

"Yep. Plane leaves soon, so gotta go. Tell Romeo hi for me." There was a click and then silence. Beth lowered the phone, staring at it. What on earth was Lily up to?

Her phone dinged, and a text message came through. It was a photo of Beth with her tongue out standing in front of a mirror, a slender leg draped across her shoulder like a scarf. Behind her, Dana was busy trying to fit herself in a large suitcase, her head and one arm still hanging out.

"Holy shit." Shaking her head, Beth put her phone away. It really was better if she didn't think about what those two were up to, but she was happy that they were okay. Picking up her stuff, she looked at her computer screen.

"Weird." Several documents were open on her screen, many of them pertaining to Emily's holdings. Why had she been looking those up? She closed the windows and shut her computer down. She had come to the office to avoid the hustle and bustle of the house. Sofia had gotten into an argument with the fairies after they got into the flour, and Tink was upstairs doing God knew what with a power saw and with the rats helping her. Her room was close enough to Mike's that she could hear him moaning in the bathtub.

The thought of him made the blood rush to her face. It was a frustrating feeling in a lot of ways, because she knew that the attraction was largely due to his bond with Naia. While he had been cute in a broken puppy kind of way when they first met, she wouldn't have bothered pursuing their relationship any farther. Now, however, he radiated sex appeal like a tiny star, yet acted awkwardly whenever she was around. She had noticed that he treated her differently than the others, and wondered if she was lacking the monstrous charms of the other residents.

Did she desire the man, or the magic?

It was a question she couldn't answer, but it made her stomach feel funny in a way that usually required a trip to see Asterion in the Labyrinth. The minotaur was more than happy to play with her, but he was more than a little short on ideas during sex.

Oh well. At least he took direction well. She picked up her coffee and remembered that it was cold once it touched her lips. Frowning, she set it back down. Her thoughts went back to Mike and the scene of him standing in the church, his dick exposed for her to see.

"Damn it." She stuck her head out of the office and waited. It didn't take long before one of the fairies shot past, likely looking for or running from trouble. Beth had realized that they were largely bored and needed to be given something to do.

"Hey Olivia." The green light returned and hovered in front of Beth. If she squinted, she could just make out the feminine form in the middle. "Can you go and ask Asterion if he can meet me at the greenhouse? Let me know when he is on his way."

"Okay," Olivia said with a giggle, and flew up the stairs toward Beth's room, eager to help out.

-

Mike sat on the porch swing, letting the wind slowly rock him. Any moment he expected Cecilia to return, to speak to him in that fantastic foreign lilt of hers. Though the others reassured him that she was fine, something was bothering him and he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"Something bugging you?"

He looked up and saw Abella's face leaning over the roof, her thick hair slowly succumbing to gravity. A sigh escaped him and he leaned back in the swing.