Home for Horny Monsters

Hi all! I have returned in the season of pumpkin spice, renewed and invigorated!

Are you a new reader? You're going to be confused, because this chapter is the beginning of the end of Book Four of HFHM. So much shit is about to happen, and I'm a slow-burn kind of writer, but hey, be my guest and dive in.

Returning readers, this is it! What has the shadow been up to? When is Mike going after Cecilia? How will the house handle Halloween? And will Tink finally wear underwear? You're about to find out!

As always, thank you so much for the support you have all shown. Thanks to T.J. Skywind for helping me with final edits and to really nail down Suly's dialogue. I hope this chapter has a little bit of something for all of you, but Lily lovers are definitely winning out this month.

Don't forget to rate and comment, or shoot me a letter, I read them (eventually). I'm working hard to make sure the next few chapters are quality, as Book Four will wrap up with Chapter 60 (and Book Five will start with chapter 61, so don't fret).

It's my favorite time of the year, people, because it is finally

Samhain

Mike sat with Naia on the edge of the fountain, their arms wrapped around each other. He took in her scent, which was reminiscent of rain and the forest floor. When she finally released him, she had a scowl fixed on her face.

"You had better come back alive," she told him. "Or I will be very cross with you."

"Don't worry. I'm going to be very careful. If things start to go south before I get there, I'll come back and try again next year." Truthfully, he hoped that wasn't the case. How many years had Cecilia been stuck in the faerie realm already? Every morning leading up to today had filled him with the anxiety of knowing that an hour to him could be months to her. Was she still okay? Would she be happy to see him?

He had started having dreams about her when Lily wasn't inside his head. Cecilia would try to warn him away, and he would chase her until his dream filled with mist and he became lost. No amount of Dreamscape trickery allowed him to part the veil and find her, which made him wonder if it was a variation on the anxiety dreams.

When he stood, he looked up at the roof. Though he didn't see her, he could feel Kisa's presence up there, almost like an itch that couldn't be scratched. Ever since the incident at the centaur camp, he could feel her no matter where she was, and she claimed a similar experience. Luckily, the centaurs had provided her with some herbal tea which acted as birth control. He had been very happy to see her drink it down without any hesitation.

Lily had suggested that Kisa get spayed, which prompted Kisa to try and take a chunk out of the succubus.

Ratu had examined both Mike and Kisa and said that their magic was now linked in a similar manner to the way a witch would bond with a familiar, but nobody knew what that now meant for the two of them. She also announced that it was likely that Kisa would go into heat on every full moon from now on, unless she sequestered herself away from the sight of it. Kisa's protest at this announcement was mellow by her standards, and he wondered if perhaps she didn't mind. She had definitely softened in her approach to him, and he had spotted her lurking around more often.

The others bade him farewell as he picked up the backpack he had prepared for this trip. When he made it down the hill to the gate, Beth was waiting to see him off.

"Good luck," she told him. "Sorry I couldn't find out more about the geas, or your contract with the queen."

He smiled. "Learning about Samhain was more than enough. I'm leaving you in charge. Make sure Tink brushes her teeth, and no parties. It is Halloween, after all."

She laughed. "Do you suppose we should let her go trick or treating? She could pass for a kid in a costume."

"If you can get her to actually wear underwear, then maybe." He looked up the hill at Tink, who was busy with a giant spool of electrical cable. She was almost done rewiring the house, but the large industrial spool of wire she had ordered by accident had been way more than she needed. She was using it as a spare table now, and he couldn't help noticing that she kept it pretty far from the edge of the roof. "But I did see the giant bag of candy hidden in the back of the pantry. I assume you bought it?"

Beth smiled. "Like you said, It is Halloween. I don't expect anyone to come to the door, but you never know. When I was a kid, this neighborhood always had the best candy, and some years, a few kids would be brave enough to ring the bell. Maybe this year, someone will answer."

Mike nodded, wondering if Beth would wear a costume. Would it be something cute? Maybe something simple, like cat ears and a tail? Would that piss Kisa off?

"Guess I'm headed out." He didn't know whether to hug her or shake her hand, and the moment was quickly becoming awkward. She seemed so distant recently, and that insecure part of him kept crying out that she saw him as a failure.

It really shouldn't matter, but he couldn't shake the idea that she might not value his company. Maybe it was just that she was happy enough with Asterion and Sulyvahn, but it wasn't something he could just come out and ask her.

He offered her a slight wave and unlocked the gate, then stepped through. Once on the other side, he passed the key back through and watched Beth lock the gate.

"You sure about this?" she asked.

He nodded. "I don't want anything coming out while I'm gone. Besides, if everything goes well, Cecilia will bring me back the regular way. If not..." he shrugged. "Try not to let the next disaster get you down if you fuck it up. Gotta keep trying and all that."

"Is that another one of your boy scout mottos?"

"Uh...no. Just good advice is all. Gotta go. Got a date with a banshee." He turned away from her and walked into the woods. Once the mist gobbled up the gate behind him, he put his fingers into his mouth and blew a loud whistle.

"Date with a banshee, really?" Lily stepped around a nearby tree. "Shit, watching you two is like watching shitty prime-time TV."

Mike startled, then put a hand to his chest and let out a breath. "Really? From behind a tree?"

"Trick or treat, Romeo." She moved next to him and put her hand over his. "That was the trick. The treat is that I'm coming with you on your little trip. Just to the gate, anyway."

"I thought you couldn't?"

She shrugged. "I changed my mind. My presence might attract demons, but I'm also going to be riding with you on the back of Cerberus. Even if they show up, they'll hightail it out of there. Besides, I figured we could chat."

"About?"

Lily transformed into Beth, then pressed herself against him. "So, Mr. Radley, do you wanna fuck or what?"

Mike's stomach dropped, and he turned around to make sure that the gate was still a good distance behind them. What if Beth heard? "What are you doing?" he asked in a hushed town.

Lily was herself again, and she rolled her eyes. "Please. Watching you two pine over each other is giving me blue balls. Let's talk about us, instead." A grin appeared on her face, but then faltered when a giant shadow manifested in the mist.

Cerberus had arrived.

"Hello," Mike said, stopping to scratch each head. Cerberus soaked up the attention, but threw Lily a trio of dirty looks.

"Play nice," he warned her, eliciting a whimper from one of the heads.

"Someone is learning," Lily muttered behind him, but he ignored her.

"Let's hunt for some wayward spirits," he said, then pulled himself up by Cerberus' shaggy mane until he sat behind their shoulders. He stuck a hand out for Lily, then hauled her up to sit behind him.

Cerberus wandered into the woods, leaving the mortal realm far behind. They were on the prowl, which meant Cerberus would stop on occasion to sniff the ground, then change directions. Lily's hands were tight on Mike's belly as they moved through the mists of the Underworld, and he was suddenly very aware of how her hands kept sliding lower toward his crotch.

"So how long do we do this?" she asked. "Seems kind of like we're walking around with your dick in our hands."

Not yet, he thought to himself, thinking of her slender fingers. "Samhain is supposed to start at sundown, and I figured if we left a little bit early, it would increase our odds of seeing the spirits as they come through. Honestly, I don't know what to expect, but—"

A ball of light formed in the mist off to their left and then rocketed past, blipping out of existence just past his shoulder. Cerberus lifted their heads and sniffed, then turned toward where the ball had come from.

"Was that a spirit?" he asked.

"Fairly certain it was fae. The boundary's thin, but the fae are more powerful. Any spirits hanging about likely won't come out until tomorrow." She leaned forward over his shoulder to reveal that her face was now painted in black and white, making it look like a skull. "Dia de los Muertos, mi rey."

He understood the first part. "Day of the dead. It's tomorrow."

"Interesting how it overlaps with Samhain, isn't it? You'll find that so many cultures have celebrations that line up like that for a reason. The pagans were pretty good about noticing those things, they've always been in touch with the world and its inner workings. The Catholic church pretty much stole most of their holidays, because the only things they want to touch are money and little boys."

"Harsh," he muttered.

"Truer than you think. Remember, never trust a man who claims to be noble. Judge him instead by his actions." Her hands had moved low enough that she could tease the tip of his cock with the edge of her fingernail.

"You sound oddly philosophical," he told her. "Did you eat someone nice, or are you done playing hard to get."

"Hmmph." She pressed her face into his neck. "If you're gonna be a dick, I can always just walk home. If you're lucky, I won't accidentally show a horde of demons through your backdoor."

"Yeah, well, last time you brought something through my backdoor, it started off scary and ended up being enjoyable."

He heard a slight hitch in her voice, followed by a chuckle. Her hand moved lower and she pinched the fabric of his jeans just hard enough to capture the head of his cock between her fingers.

"Now you're making me blush, Romeo," she said. "I wasn't aware that you ever thought about that."

"We spend so much time in the Dreamscape that I think about it a lot. Those first few days of confusion, that bet that you lost." He grinned at the memory. "I've gained a newfound perspective on life this month. Probably growing as a person."

"You speak like a man who knows what he wants, but I sometimes wonder; do you know what you want?" With one fluid motion, she had undone the button on his pants, exposing his cock to the outside world. She was stroking him from behind, and he closed his eyes at the sudden rush of pleasure that moved through him.

"Uh, Lily, I'm not sure—"

"Oh, it's fine, she's not going to eat you. Remember, she's an animal. Worst case scenario, pretend like you're marking her as your property." Lily's other hand found the base of his cock and moved past to stroke his balls. "But let's talk more about you. I know you're attracted to Beth, I've been inside your head, remember?"

"Um..." He had no idea what to say. What was Lily trying to do to him? He was supposed to be tracking wayward spirits in the Underworld, but now she was messing with his dick and talking about Beth.

"You know, I could do this better if you moved the backpack." She took it off his shoulders and transferred it to hers. "There doesn't seem to be a lot in here. What did you pack?"

"Mostly sandwiches," he replied.

"Really? Off to fight the queen of the faeries and you packed sandwiches?"

"Nope. Sofia packed them for me. This way, I don't end up starving to death while getting there." He was distracted when another orb shot by him and Cerberus changed direction once again.

"Oh, Romeo, what am I going to do with you?" Her hands found his cock once more. "Oh. Right. Beth."

"I don't really know how I feel about her," he said. "Being a hundred percent honest, I feel an attraction, but I'm not sure why. I'm literally surrounded by exotic women of all shapes and sizes, have sex on a daily basis with many of them, and know that Beth is far more interested in men who are more...legendary, if you catch my drift."

"Maybe you like her for her brain?"

He thought about it. Beth was very intelligent, but did she really compare to others? Ratu had the wisdom of centuries, Tink could fix anything, and Zel was like a walking pharmacy. Any aspect of Beth taken individually paled in comparison to someone else, but whenever she was near, he felt his old lack of confidence come up.

"Maybe I like her for her," he replied. "She's like the female version of me, tossed into a crazy place with—" he grunted as a wave of pleasure shot up his spine, then watched as a series of sparkling lights moved between the trees up ahead. "With monsters. She has taken the whole thing in stride, so I would have to say it's her confidence, or maybe her capability, who knows?"

"Interesting. Is that confidence enough?" Lily's tail slithered into view, then moved up his leg until the tip of it hovered over his dick. "What about me? Are you attracted to my confidence?"

"Okay, I know for a fact that won't fit in there," he told her.

"You worry too much," she whispered, and then the tip of her tail opened up, creating a wet sleeve which enveloped the top of his cock.

He gasped in response as a sensation like a sucking mouth worked the tip of his penis. Her hands and tail worked in unison, sending warm waves of pleasure up and down his legs.

"You didn't answer the question," she told him.

"Your confidence is unnerving," he said, then leaned against her. "Don't take this the wrong way, but it scares me sometimes. Not because I think you shouldn't be confident, but because I worry you'll do something to get hurt someday."

Cerberus paused, then looked back at the two of them.

"Mind your own business, bitch," Lily snapped.

Cerberus growled, but resumed their walk. Every time Mike felt like he was getting close, Lily backed down her ministrations and asked him another question, or squeezed the base of his cock to chase away his orgasm. Tiny little sparks danced all along his stomach and thighs, and occasionally along Lily's tail. Most of the questions were casual, some were serious, and he noticed that the frequency of passing spirits was increasing, but he wasn't exactly paying attention to the shifting scenery.

Lube flowed from her tail onto his shaft, keeping him well oiled. Cerberus kept looking back to see what was happening, but continued moving through the Underworld. The trees had changed, and most of them looked like they were dead, or close. The ground was littered with ash and leaves, and when Cerberus stepped around a grouping of rocks, Mike found himself staring at an old stone archway with symbols carved into the blocks along the top. Lily clamped one of her hands across his mouth to keep him quiet.

The archway had diagonal iron bars embedded inside that looked just wide enough to be squeezed through. Cerberus walked around the gate, but he couldn't help but watch it as they passed. The air smelled of dust with a slight trace of sulfur, but there was another acrid odor he couldn't place. Once they were away from it, Lily dropped her hand.

"Where did that one go?" he asked.

"Hell," Lily told him. "The bars allow you to go in, but what you don't know is that they're like shark-skin, covered in microscopic barbs. Smooth one way, rough in verse, and if you try to back out, it tears your skin off. That's the best case scenario."

"Why would anyone go in there on purpose?" He looked over his shoulder at her.

Her face darkened. "There are things here that are far worse than Hell. Your version of Hell is a rather new idea, but the Underworld itself is ageless. It's been around since the beginning of everything, maybe even before. There are things here that would love to get ahold of a wandering mortal, or even a soul that is firmly rooted here."

"But wouldn't Hell be worse?"

"It's all a matter of perspective. There are things out here that mortals have forgotten the names of, creatures made of hooks and chains that feast on suffering. But enough about that, because it's making you soft."

"Oh." He looked down to see that she was right. "I mean, you don't have to do that."

Lily bit his ear and started stroking him even harder. "I did not spend all that time edging you through the Underworld just to have you blow me off, Romeo."

"Why are you edging—ow!" She had bitten him again.

"Lots of reasons. Because I'm a tease. Because I thought it would be fun to jerk you off while riding a three-headed dog. Because I thought it might help you relax, or maybe just because I thought you might enjoy it." Her hands were working overtime now, as if to make up for lost ground. It was having the desired effect, and his thoughts were beginning to swim, his concentration lapsing.

"Lily, I—" he stopped mid-sentence when she started licking and sucking on his neck. The sensation of her lips on his neck was sending chills down his spine to meet up with the fire that blossomed below. Sparks now crawled along his entire body, and he felt the pressure building.

The vegetation had become so dense that the branches dragged along his skin like grasping fingers, and the trees were actually moving out of the way to let Cerberus through. Suddenly, the trees were gone and he found himself looking at a giant river. Cerberus padded carefully across, the water coming up just past their belly.

The water was black in places, and appeared to climb up Cerberus' fur to reach for Mike. He caught the odor of brimstone, and his mind immediately jumped to a time and place from his youth, and he could hear the rancid screams of his mother bouncing around inside his head. Long forgotten memories rushed forth, filling his belly with lead. He clenched his fists, letting the anger rush through him.

Lily turned his head and put her lips on his. Her scent washed over him and he felt the memories of his youth vanish in the surge of energy that passed between them. When she broke the kiss, they were on the other side of the river, near the mouth of a large cave that fed the river.

Silver columns supported the ceiling of the entrance, and he couldn't help but think the folded walls of the cavern looked like an eager vagina, beckoning him to enter. He was about to tell Cerberus to take him inside when Lily's tail shifted and sucked him in deep.

"Oh...my... nghh!" The lightning danced out along Cerberus fur as Lily's tail milked him, and the legendary beast trembled, then shook itself off, scattering water away from them. The succubus groaned as the magic traveled up her tail with his semen, her hands squeezing him tight while he released his load inside of her.

He shook his head and frowned at the cave. The sudden compulsion to go inside had vanished, and he thought he saw a figure in the mouth of the cave step back into the darkness.

"What just happened?" he asked. "What is this place."

"That's just some post-nut clarity," Lily replied. "We should keep moving."

"Okay." He looked over his shoulder at the cave and caught the glimpse of a figure disappearing around the corner of the rocks. The strangest urge to go back and check it out pulled at him, but Lily put her mouth near his ear and whispered a single word.

"Cecilia."

He nodded, and looked away from the strange cave. The forest ahead was thinning rapidly, and he now saw buildings, or what was left of them. They looked like they had been bombed out, but as they approached, they faded away. They were now surrounded by whirring lights as spirits shot past them, and shadows milled about amongst the phantom city.