Home for Horny Monsters

Hi all! Annabelle Hawthorne here with the final installment of "Let's Lewd the North Pole!"

Can you believe I've written 96 chapters of this? Holy shit.

Anyway, if you're a new reader, this is a perfectly bingeable series, and you should do it now. This is the last chapter of book six, so it's like when you subscribe to Netflix between seasons of a show or whatever. You can get five years of storytelling in one shot!

Returning reader? WE DID IT! This is the last chapter of book six, and you got to be here as it all went down. I think it's serendipitous that I am posting it right before the Christmas season goes full swing again, because it means I made Christmas last an entire year!

I want to thank my beta readers, the color red, and everyone who has been part of this year's crazy journey. Your votes, comments, and feedback have not only encouraged me to keep going, but they've helped new readers find this story!

As a reminder, I am currently writing the opening chapter of Book 7. You can find my schedule in my bio, and I've been pretty good about sticking to it.

I won't keep you any longer. This chapter is a bit longer than others, and you might want some time and tissues to fully experience

Hearth and Home

Between Santa, Cerberus, and Freyja, there was little left of the North Pole village. Perhaps half of it had been burned to the ground by hellfire, and Santa had been a one-man wrecking crew, punching his way to victory. When Mike had finally emerged from Santa's home, it was to see a land that would need to be rebuilt from the ground up.

Mike and the others took up residence in Santa's home for a few days while the newly awakened elves eagerly started repairs. The Workshop was the first structure to be reinforced, as it was still in good condition. The air inside smelled of fresh cut wood and lacquer, along with cinnamon and nutmeg. The magical fireplace had been lit anew, and elves were constantly darting through it to gather lumber and supplies from all around the world.

Mrs. Claus reappeared shortly after Holly had taken ownership of the North Pole, though she now wore regular clothing. Holly had informed him that the wife of Claus would only wear lingerie when she felt like it from now on. Mike suspected that the older woman was still as amorous as ever, because Santa kept going missing every couple of hours.

While Christmas Present and Santa searched the North Pole for any missing elves, Holly and Mrs. Claus took charge to make sure that repairs were being done correctly. The map of the North Pole had survived the Krampus' spoogefest inside of its special case, and was being used as a guide. As far as Mike could tell, Holly was already planning some changes to the layout of the village, but whenever he'd ask about it, she'd just blush.

Holly was far less shy in the bedroom, though. He was pretty much keeping track of the days by how often she would ambush him. The two of them had snuck off on more than a few occasions, and it wasn't uncommon for Holly to go out of her way to bring along Tink. However, they had their own room now, and didn't need to worry about getting spunk in Santa's tree.

Currently, Mike was sitting at a table just outside of the Hot Cocoa lounge, watching the elves create an assembly line to transport the time-locked children home through the fireplace. A special team of elves was responsible for each child, a task which took at least a couple minutes per kid. Based on his own rough estimates, Mike figured that the process would take a few days to get everyone home safe.

With a list of names in her hand, Mrs. Claus stood by the fireplace, checking off the children as they went through.

"This is quite the affair, Mike Radley." Death sat across from him, eagerly munching on a cookie.

"Aren't you tired of those?" Mike asked.

"Yes. Yes I am." Death crunched his teeth down on another cookie. "And yet, I shall continue to eat them."

"But why?"

Death shrugged. "Habit, I suppose."

Mike pulled the plate of cookies away from Death. "I'm cutting you off."

"I suppose it's for the best." Death sighed. "Perhaps I am eating them because I am nervous about my trip."

Once the children were returned, Santa planned to go around the world and undo everything the Krampus had done and finish his deliveries. Much to Death's delight, Santa had invited the Reaper along to help him.

"You have nothing to be nervous about. You did such a great job on your own, I bet you could give the big guy a few tips."

Death snorted. "I am inevitable, Mike Radley, not gullible."

"Perhaps, but you're a good friend."

"Indeed I am." Death's eyes blazed with blue light. "And I shall miss you. For it will be but a day for you, but months for me."

"As you say, you are inevitable. We'll see each other soon enough. Besides, it's time for the rest of us to go." Mike wasn't able to contribute anything meaningful at this point. Tink had offered to help the elves rebuild, but they had immediately shut her down, declaring that they preferred to work without distractions. Lily was quietly creating enough of those to the point that Death had threatened to stick the Helper Hat back on her head.

Of Freyja, there was still no sign. The Yule Lads had long ago scampered off with their father and the Yule Cat, so Mike wondered if she went after them. Yuki had gone out multiple times searching for the goddess, but had been unable to track her. Every time he saw those extra tails of hers, Mike couldn't help but feel bad that the kitsune had sacrificed two centuries of her life to save them. However, he would have made the same decision in a heartbeat and respected her for it.

Another group of elves carried a child to their home through the magical flames of the fireplace and Mrs. Claus crossed another name off her list. The massive hearth was covered in stockings, each with an elf's name on it. Mike couldn't help but stare at the large pile of stockings they had pulled down and set with reverence in the corner of the room. That pile represented the elves who hadn't survived, for one reason or another. Most of the elves paid it little attention, and he really couldn't tell if it didn't bother them or if they were throwing themselves so hard into their work that they really were able to ignore what the pile represented.

Holly walked into the Workshop, causing the elves to stop momentarily. She waved them on, bidding them to continue, then sat down next to Mike.

"Hello." Her eyes sparkled. "I bet that you're ready to get home."

"I guess. Are you sure we can't be of more help here?"

She shook her head and put a hand over his. "Once we're done with the children, we have months of work ahead of us here, maybe even years. We have many hands to help, and none of them will age. You've already done more than enough."

"Yeah we have." Lily sauntered over to the table. "The cocoa is really good, but someone broke the jukebox."

Mike made a face, but kept his mouth shut.

"Speaking of, Santa wanted to speak to all of you before he left." Holly looked over at the entrance to the Workshop and the massive double doors opened. A red carpet with gold lining rolled itself across the floor as elves moved out of the way. Dancer and Dasher walked on the carpet, pulling a small sleigh behind them with a large velvet chair.

"What's going on?" Mike asked.

"It's time to sit on Santa's lap." Holly patted Mike's leg as the big man himself appeared. The chair was offloaded next to the fireplace, and Santa let out a groan as he squeezed into it. The elves let out a small cheer as Santa waved to Mike.

"Why am I sitting on his lap?" He looked at Holly.

"It's his way of saying thanks." Holly smiled at him, then noticed his confusion. "Oh, sorry. To be specific, he wants to give all of you something special for helping us. But you can't just ask Santa for something, you either have to write him a letter or sit on his lap first."

"Sounds like a blatant attempt at sexual harassment," mumbled Lily as Tink sprinted forward.

"Santa!" she declared, leaping onto Santa's lap. "Tink have extra big wish this year!"

"Ho ho ho!" Santa's eyes sparkled. "And if it is within my power, you'll be sure to have it!"

Tink stood on the edge of Santa's chair and leaned against his shoulder as if she was having a conversation at the bar. Holding a hand over her mouth so nobody else could see, Tink spoke to Santa for quite awhile. Santa's eyes widened unexpectedly a few times, and at one point he declared part of her request to be too naughty. In the end, he simply nodded, then patted the goblin between the horns.

"I'll have to see what I can do," he informed her. "That one really is a pretty big wish and might be past my limitations."

"Then she can have my wish, too." Kisa was already walking up to Santa holding an envelope in her hands. "All I had was questions, but I got those answered for me a bit ago."

"Hmm." Santa stared at Kisa. "You would give away a Christmas wish for Tink?"

"Bet your ass I would." Kisa winced when the nearby elves gave her a nasty look. "I'm so sorry. That one slipped out."

Santa chuckled, then looked back at Tink. "I can't make any promises," he informed her. "But it will be my number one priority."

"Good talk," she declared, patting him on the shoulder before hopping down. Back on the floor, she walked over to Kisa and hugged the catgirl so hard that a yowl squeaked out of her.

Santa patted his lap, then looked over at Mike and the others. Yuki came out of the bathroom of the Hot Cocoa Lounge, wiping her hands on her own fur collar.

"Towel dispenser is broken. What's going on?"

"The fat man is giving us gifts, and we get to ask for whatever we want." Lily sneered. "But I suspect he's secretly got a lap fetish and--ow!"

Death had jabbed Lily with a finger underneath the table. "There is no need to be so mean," he said with a scowl.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Fine. The fox can go first."

"Can I ask for Freyja to come back?" Yuki asked.

Santa shook his head. "The goddess Freyja is safe, if that's your concern. I will be honest and say that asking for her return won't affect the outcome."

"Then I am good. I already got what I wanted this Christmas." Yuki took Mike's hand and squeezed it. Her fingers were still a bit damp. She smiled at him as Lily made gagging sounds with a finger down her throat.

Santa frowned, then shrugged. "I can give your wish to someone else, then."

"You're up, Romeo." Lily gave Mike a little push. "You can have my wish, too. I'm not sitting on that guy's lap, but seeing you do it will be hilarious."

Mike frowned at Lily. She seemed extra grouchy, but likely had her reasons. "Is that okay? Three wishes?"

"I'd like to remind you that these aren't wishes, per se." Santa suddenly looked uncomfortable. "Nobody grants actual wishes anymore. You can ask me for a gift and I will do my best to give it using the magic of Christmas." He held up his fingers. "Three gifts, actually."

"I see. Well, okay then." Mike approached Santa's chair, aware that all eyes were on him. "Do I have to sit on your lap?"

"No." Santa smiled. "The true magic of Christmas is about giving without expectations. I find that most people like to do it anyway."

"Boo!" Lily had summoned a bullhorn. "Sit on his lap, Caretaker! I want it for my spank bank!"

Death, who was in mid-sip, snorted a hefty amount of hot cocoa out of his nose holes. "They make a bank for spankings?!?"

Several of the elves actually laughed at this, and Yuki helped mop up the sudden mess on the table. Deciding that life was too short, Mike climbed onto Santa's chair to sit in his lap.

Surprisingly, Santa was suddenly much larger than Mike, as if he had grown. Feeling very much like a child again, Mike gazed up at the big man in wonder, though he was wary of the tiny white beard hairs that curled themselves hungrily. His feet hung a couple feet above the ground.

"So you pulled me out of that car wreck. Guess I wanted to say thanks for that."

"You are quite welcome." Santa's eyes sparkled. "And thank you for not seducing my wife."

"You're welcome." Mike chuckled. "How does it feel having a new boss?"

"Refreshing." Santa looked over at Holly, who was chatting with Tink and Kisa. "She's planning to come visit, you know. She was special to begin with, but you helped her to realize it for herself."

"She's always welcome. I'd prefer she send a letter next time rather than crash a sleigh into my house." Mike let out a sigh. "So I get to ask for three things, huh?"

"You do. And if they are in my power, you shall have them."

"Well, I can really only think of one thing, but maybe three wishes will do it." He looked up at Santa. "The last couple of years have been...amazing? Impossible? I don't even know the word for it."

"Perhaps unexpected?" Santa lifted an eyebrow.

"Yeah, that works. I've seen some great things, but also experienced some horrible ones. As far as miracles go, there's one in particular I'm thinking of."

"I cannot raise the dead, Michael." Santa shook his head. "The miracles I can accomplish have to be grounded in reality."

"Oh. Do you mean Velvet? That's not what I was thinking." Mike took a moment, suddenly feeling bad that he hadn't even thought about that.

"My apologies. I'm usually better at this, but ever since Holly claimed the North Pole, I don't feel as...plugged in as I used to be." Santa's eyes twinkled. "But that's a good thing."

"Yeah, it is. Actually, I was going to tell you that my biggest regret about all of this is what happened to Dana. She's stuck, and I don't know how to fix it. Maybe it violates your dead rule, but I would absolutely use all three of my requests to fix her."

"You were given the opportunity to ask for anything, and yet you think of others." Santa laughed, a booming sound that brought smiles to everyone nearby. "But of course you did, Michael. That's just who you are."

"So is that a yes?" Mike's thoughts went back to Dana's awkward dinner with her parents. "It would mean a lot to me."

Santa stared at Mike for a few moments, his gaze suddenly becoming unfocused. Tiny lights like falling snowflakes appeared in his vision, and after almost a minute of silence, he looked back at Mike. "Her journey is not yet done, but perhaps I can provide something to help you both on your way."

Santa reached into his pocket and pulled something out. When he turned over his gloved hands, he was holding three vials of dark fluid. Mike took them and held one up to the light. It immediately made him queasy to look at it.

"These are three drops of my blood, Caretaker. In the spirit of Christmas, I have decided to give you what you need, as well as what you asked for. But I must caution you on their use. The last time I gave someone a drop of my blood, they used it to make a powerful geas around your home."

"That should probably surprise me, but...it makes sense in hindsight." Mike looked at Santa. "So I just give these to Dana?"

"No. You give one to Dana. The other two...well, let's just say that you will figure out a use for them." Santa looked over Mike's shoulder. Mike turned around to see the ghost of Christmas Future standing there, his hands tucked away in his robe.

"I see. Can't tell me more? No instruction manual?"

Santa shook his head. "This is one of those things that cannot rely on instructions."

"Great, well, then...thanks." Mike hopped down off of Santa's lap. When he turned around, Santa appeared to be normal size again. "Really, I mean that. Thank you."

"I know." Santa winked. "Now where's my brother?"

"Brother?" Mike looked at the others in confusion, then realized that Death had risen from the table and was carrying a gift under his arm. It was Tick Tock.

"Indeed, Mike Radley." Death handed the mimic over to Santa. "Didn't you know?"

"Know what?"

"Tick Tock was the very first gift of Christmas!" As Death neared Santa, the gift sprouted arms and reached for Santa. "From the First Elf himself!"

Everyone's jaws dropped as Santa chittered at Tick Tock with strange hissing sounds. The mimic reacted, then settled down as Santa tucked him under one arm.

"Tick Tock will be assisting me this year, along with Death. We have quite the mess to clean, don't we?"

"The toaster is Santa's brother?" Lily stared in disbelief, then threw her hands in the air. "What the absolute fuu..." She noticed the dirty looks being thrown in her direction already. "You know what? Fine, I'm with Romeo. This doesn't even shock me."

"Little does, these days." Yuki came to Mike. "I think it's about time we head home, don't you think?"

"Yeah, probably." He looked at Holly. She walked over to him, and he knelt down to accept a hug from her. She brushed the hair away from his forehead and planted a kiss on his lips.

"Thank you. For everything," she said.

"You're welcome."

When he stood, Holly took him by the hand and led him over to the fireplace. Once at the flames, she reached into her pocket and threw a handful of glittering powder.

"May I walk you home?"

"You certainly can." Mike allowed her to pull him through the flames, and the slight chill of the north disappeared as he stepped into his home. It was just as he had left it--frozen in time. Seeing Beth on her hands and knees over by the tree, he suddenly felt his throat go dry. In the commotion of everything else, he had forgotten.

"She's pretty." Holly walked over to Beth and hopped onto her butt, using her as a chair. "I have a special present for you."

"You do?"

Holly nodded, then patted Beth's butt. "I do." As if it had been timed, the others came through the gate. Tink swatted Mike on the butt as she walked past, and then followed Kisa up the stairs. Yuki winked at Mike on her way out of the room. Lily stopped at the door and pulled a bag of popcorn out of nowhere.

"Hey!" Holly pointed at the succubus. "You all agreed to give them some privacy."

"Technically, you asked if we would all make ourselves scarce and everyone else agreed." Lily tossed a piece of popcorn into her mouth. "I, on the other hand, want to watch him make Beth the mayor of pound town."

Yuki stepped back into the room and grabbed Lily around the waist and lifted her up.

"I'll make sure she stays with me." Yuki tossed Lily over one shoulder and started up the stairs. "Will pin her down if I have to."

"Give her hell, Romeo." Lily licked her lips before disappearing up the stairs.

Holly waited for a moment, then slid off of Beth. "When you kiss her, time shall return to normal for all of you, but wait until I leave first. Turns out my promotion actually comes with extra responsibilities." She stopped at the fireplace and turned to face Mike. "Thank you, Caretaker. For everything."

"Merry Christmas, Holly."

"Merry Christmas, Mike." She stepped through the flames and vanished.

Left alone, Mike turned around to look at Beth. Bent over as she was, he had a perfect look at her ass. Her sweater had come untucked at the back of her pants, revealing the red band of her panties sitting just above her leggings.

"God bless leggings," he muttered. He contemplated Beth's frozen form, taking her in like a work of art. Her legs were toned, as if she'd been regularly exercising. The sweater clung to her body like a second skin, highlighting pendulous breasts. Moving back in front of her, he knelt down and took a deep breath.

The last several days had been crazy. With the world stuck in eternal night, he had no idea how long it had been since Holly had crashed into his home. Now here he was, at the moment that had become the finish line. Despite all that he had seen and experienced, this still made him nervous. The women of the house were all beautiful in different ways, and yet Beth stood out somehow. It wasn't just a crush, or some unrealized love he had for her. The longer he thought about it, the more he realized just how much of himself he recognized in her.