Home for Horny Monsters

Hi all! Annabelle Hawthorne is back!

The year is 2022 and we're gonna keep that Christmas spirit alive with a trip to the North Pole! I am sure absolutely nothing bad will happen...right?

New Reader? Just go for it. If you're brave enough to click on Ch. 80 of a story, you should just plow ahead. You've earned it.

Returning Reader? Welcome back! Things are about to get jolly for the Radley crew as they tackle one of the best known holidays in the world while I frantically attempt to dodge copyright infringement (sorry, folks, no red-nosed reindeer for me).

Also, I wanted to say thanks to people who write me feedback letters. I just discovered a whole batch of them in random pockets of my gmail account dating back to June of 21. I'm more than a little mortified, and very sorry if you asked me something important and thought I blew you off. I'm trying to catch up, but free time is still limited. Ugh.

Anyway, don't forget to check my bio for publishing schedule, and please don't leave without hitting those stars on the way out.

Not a Creature was Stirring

Yuki sat in bed with her knees pulled up against her chest. In one hand was an old copy ofAlice in Wonderlandand in the other was a handful of foxfire. Her bedroom light was off since the foxfire provided plenty of light to read by.

Alicewasn't even open. Instead, she ran her fingers over the well-loved cover, tracing the portrait in the middle. It had been a gift from Emily, the only true love of her life. The two had been inseparable until Emily had fallen under the influence of the shadow and locked Yuki in a tower-world. The last time she had seen Emily alive was when the former Caretaker had returned to steal her eye for a magical ritual.

A single tear fell on the book, and Yuki wiped it away, smearing condensation across the cover. Her relationship with Emily had been a lifetime ago, in human terms, anyway. The hurt was still there, but time had a habit of helping old wounds scar over.

She opened the book and ran her fingers over the pages. There was once a moment where she had opened this book for the first time. Its pages would have seen a young, vibrant kitsune that was hopeful for a future filled with love and laughter. Later, it bore witness to heartbreak followed by inconsolable rage. The book was like an old friend. It had seen her both at her best and her worst.

Moving the foxfire closer, she wondered how long it would take the book to burn away completely. It was just one of many tendrils remaining that connected her to the past, but it was easily the one that hurt the most.

Her conversation with Naia had been a long one. She hadn't wanted to have it in the backyard where anyone could listen in. However, walking in on Mike and Naia having sex had definitely thrown her off. It wasn't the first time she had seen it, but it was perhaps the longest she had actually watched.

"What do I want?" she wondered aloud, then set her book down on the nightstand. She closed her hand, extinguishing the foxfire and plunging the room into darkness. Yuki laid back on the bed, her gaze on the ceiling. More than once, it felt like she was still trapped in that other world while this one kept spinning without her. It was easy enough to put on a brave face, to act like nothing was bothering her. Out of everyone in the house, it was Mike who had seen through the mirage. He seemed to understand exactly what she was going through.

Sighing, she pulled a pillow over her face and groaned as she went over her conversation with Naia.

"Is it okay that I'm ready to move on?" she asked as she stared blankly at her feet. She sat naked in the tub, her back pressed against Naia's knees as the nymph rubbed her shoulders.

"That's something only you can know," Naia had replied.

"It's strange, but I feel like I should be happier about it. Forgiveness hasn't been easy, but..." Yuki shrugged, which sent ripples through the water. "It's like that gaping hole in the middle of me is finally...okay. It's not great, but I no longer feel like I'm one step away from falling apart."

Naia stopped rubbing Yuki's shoulders and started braiding her hair just below the ears. "I think it's wonderful that you feel that way. It's been over a year since your return. I often thought it would take you much longer to get to where you are today."

Yuki flicked the water with a finger, releasing just enough of her magic to freeze the water droplet as it formed. It plunked back into the bath, then floated away from her and melted away.

"Realistically, it should have," she replied. "But I think you know part of the reason why I feel this way."

Naia leaned into Yuki, hugging her tightly from behind. "It's him, isn't it?" she asked in a low whisper.

Yuki said nothing for several moments, then nodded. She had spent so many years with Emily and the others of the house. Her continued sense of loneliness was further aggravated by the fact that she was the only one who had retained memories of their years together. As the only witness to Emily's time as Caretaker, she felt uniquely qualified to assess it. Personal betrayals and corruption aside, Emily had provided a home that was far safer than anywhere else on the planet, to Yuki's knowledge.

Comparing Emily to Mike, though, was a no-brainer. Even though Mike's world seemed to be far more dangerous, his successes already far exceeded anything that Emily had ever been capable of. Emily's home had been safe, but she had definitely played favorites. The love in Mike's home was palpable in the way he treated everyone and went out of his way to make time for them. He gave selflessly and treated the others like equals.

"He gives me hope," Yuki finally replied. "I'm still scared that he will fall from grace, but after what I saw in the spring..."

She didn't have to finish the statement, because Naia knew exactly what she referred to. There had been a moment in Oregon when Mike had been surrounded by all the power of the forest. His magic had gone wild, forming behind him like an ominous set of black wings. The darkness had come, ready to twist him into a being of power and fury--if he survived the process. Leeds had taken something precious from Mike, killing a woman he loved for no other reason than to hurt him.

Steeped in such power, Mike had diverted the killing blow at the last moment and poured his magic into revitalizing the land instead. She alone had seen that raw power form above him, spreading apart into wings made of shadows, eager to be unleashed and do his bidding. In the grip of such anger, he had not only found mercy, but had also acted on it.

"True strength comes from within," Yuki whispered, hugging herself tightly. "It's an ancient lesson that is hard to truly understand, and yet, he does. He proved it to me on the day he saved my life, the same day he gave up a wish for his heart's desire to not just save my life, but restore my heart and mind. He did so again in the forest while gripped by a terrifying wrath. He shows the others a kindness I can't fully describe, giving of himself whenever he is able. I want to be strong like him, to find it in my heart to keep moving forward."

Naia ran her hands through Yuki's fur, then filled the tub with more hot water while the two sat in comfortable silence for nearly an hour. Yuki's thoughts were like the tendrils of water vapor rising from the water, easy to see yet difficult to grasp.

Even now, hours later, she still didn't know how to move beyond her past to become a better version of herself. She was stuck.

A loud banging sound from downstairs had her instantly on her feet. She slid into her robes, the fabric cool against her bare skin. Opening the bedroom door, she ran down the hallway. Below, she could hear the others talking, and paused at the railing to take in the sight of a small woman slumped on the ground next to a massive sleigh with Mike squatting over her.

"I'm just saying, Romeo, that the big man is going to be pissed at you for killing one of his cookie makers." Lily stood behind Mike with her arms crossed. Though her tone was comical, there was a defensive set to her shoulders that Yuki didn't like at all.

"What's happening?" Yuki demanded as she descended the stairs. "Are we under attack?"

"If we are, it's a weird one." Kisa stood next to Death and Tink, who was busy adjusting her dress. "That weird little bitch down there crashed her sled and passed out."

"Where did the sled come from?" Yuki asked as she made it to the bottom floor.

"The fireplace," Mike replied. "And that's not all. Look."

He pointed into the living room. Yuki narrowed her eyes at the sight of Beth frozen on her hands and knees. Her lips were puckered together, but she was like stone.

"Is it a spell?" Yuki asked as she moved closer to Beth. She knelt down and poked Beth with a candy cane from the tree. It broke apart without so much as making an impression in Beth's skin.

"If it is, it's a big one." Lily knelt down beside her. "I was in New York when I felt everything coming to a halt. Would have missed it if I hadn't been balls deep in the Dreamscape having a snack while watching the snow falling outside. Teleported back here in time to see this. I think whatever is happening isn't just occurring here."

"There's one way to find out." Yuki moved to the window and looked outside. Swirling flakes of snow were frozen in the air as if the whole world had become a painting.

"Oh, sparkles." The tiny figure on the floor shifted, then pushed herself up to her knees. Yuki blinked when she realized that the figure was dressed as one of Santa's elves. "Is Tinker's dress back on? I saw...everything." She shuddered and then opened her eyes to look at Mike. "You shouldn't be here," she said.

"I think you just stole my line." Mike pointed the poker at her. "Who the hell are you?"

The elf looked woozy for a moment, then held her hand against the sleigh to steady herself.

"My name is Holly," she said, then rubbed at her ears which had gone red. "And please don't use naughty words around me. I don't want to get--"

"Shhhiiitttt." Lily stretched the word out as she said it. "Fuck."

"Oh!" Holly tipped over as if losing her balance. "No, really, this isn't a--"

"Asshole." Lily grinned as Holly hyperventilated. "Oh, you are too pure. You wanna see a perfect pair of tits?"

"Lily." Mike's tone of voice was serious. "Let her talk, please."

Holly nodded, the pom-pom on her hat ringing as if it had a bell inside. "I don't have much time. Well, I have all the time I need, but maybe it's not enough."

Mike cleared his throat and knelt down by the elf. "I just want you to know that you wrecked my living room with a magic sled. I request that you be very direct with me in regards to what is going on and how you got in here. The geas should have kept you out, and I need to know how you bypassed it."

Holly nodded, then adjusted her hat. "Okay, where to begin?"

"Is this Santa's sled?" Death was running his fingers over the velvet fabric on the seat. "And is that his bag? Does it have presents inside?" He reached for the bag, his eyes burning brightly.

Holly scrambled up onto the sled and slapped Death's hand away from the bag. "That is not for you," she declared. "So you stay away from those presents!"

"But I've been good this year!" Death hopped up and down, his hood bouncing along his back. "And the rules say that you get a present if you're good!"

The elf rolled her eyes and turned to open the bag. "If it'll keep you quiet, here." She pulled a small box from the bag and handed it to Death. "To answer your questions, though, this is Santa's sled, this is his bag, and all of the presents in the world are inside."

"Why are you here?" Yuki glared at the elf and was pleased to see her cower a little in fear. If Holly was indeed a threat, she was likely a weak one. Still, it wouldn't do to underestimate her.

"I came for her." Holly pointed at Tink. "There's a huge problem at the North Pole, and I know she can help."

"Tink help?" The goblin looked at Mike and shrugged. "Maybe. Good at many things, like trick Tink do with her mouth that--"

Holly pulled a pinch of something white from a pouch around her belt and threw it in Tink's face. Stunned, the goblin took a step back as Mike grabbed the elf by her collar with one hand and lifted her out of the sled to hold her in the air.

"If you just hurt her," he growled, the air around him rippling.

"No!" Tink grabbed the hem of Mike's shirt and tugged on it. "Pointy-ear no hurt Tink, help Tink remember!"

Holly nodded, a terrified expression on her face. "That's all it was, it'll help speed things up! You see, Tinker has helped out at the North Pole a couple of times when the furnace breaks down. It won't fix all of our problems, but it'll help!"

"What problems?" Mike lowered Holly into the seat of the sled. "And why is everything frozen?"

Holly let out a relieved breath and pulled a thick, crushed velvet hat from beneath the seat. It was the richest red that Yuki had ever seen, and smelled like peppermint.

"Okay, so this is gonna be hard to believe, but here goes." She handed the hat to Mike. "Santa is missing and the North Pole has gone dark. No elves, no reindeer. It's like everyone just...vanished."

"And so you came here?" Yuki looked into the living room. "And what did you do to her? Or everyone, for that matter."

"That's not me. It happens every year." Holly moved over to Beth and casually hopped onto her back. "It's a time lock. Santa activates it so that he can deliver presents to the entire world in a single night. The whole world is frozen right now and will stay that way for, well, until we can find him and undo the lock."

Yuki frowned and knelt down by Beth. She wasn't breathing, but her skin still held a healthy glow. If it was a stasis spell, she would have turned blue and died by now. "You say the whole world is frozen in time, but we aren't. You aren't. Explain."

"That's because of the sled. It creates a field, anyone near it who isn't a human gets excluded. This lets Santa have extra helpers if he needs them. Anyone staying at the North Pole is also excluded, this is just an extension of that feature." She tilted her head at Mike. "Though I'm curious why you aren't affected."

"Didn't pay my human union dues," Mike explained. "They took my card away."

"It's a compass!" Death had opened his gift and held it up proudly. It was a fancy silver compass that looked similar to a pocket watch and was inlaid with a white mother of pearl face with a nautical compass rose painted onto it. "I've always wanted one of these!"

"You have?" Mike asked.

"Well, I didn't know that until I had one." Death held up the chain that was attached to the compass and then looped it around his neck. "It is beautiful, thank you."

"Guys, focus!" Yuki turned back toward Holly. "Okay, so you needed help and came here...why?"

"Pointy ear come for Tink," the goblin declared proudly. "Tink fix furnace, big thing, lots of tunnels!"

"Tink is the only one who can fix the furnace, it's true. But the real reason I came here was..." Holly took a deep breath, then let it out. "Sheer desperation. I didn't know where else to go, and brought the sled and gifts with me to keep them out of the hands of whoever shut everything down."

"If everything is shut down, how did you manage to escape?" Lily sneered at the elf, who backed away from the succubus. "What makes you so special that you didn't just get gobbled up like the rest of them?"

"I was on special assignment." Holly puffed out her chest. "That new game console that everyone wants this year? I was busy returning one."

"Returning?" Mike raised an eyebrow. "Those things have been sold out for months. Why would you be returning it?"

"I had to borrow one." For a moment, Holly looked like she was going to be sick. "I took it from underneath someone's tree two weeks ago and temporarily replaced it with a dummy present. The elves spent several days figuring out how to replicate the design. I was trying to put the real one back, but got stuck hiding it back under the tree. Elves have ways to be invisible to humans, but the family dog fell asleep on the fireplace because they had a lovely fire going. Whenever I got close, it would wake up and growl at me. I hear that we smell like butter cookies.

"Anyway, I was gone much longer than expected as a result. The dog got up to get a drink, and that's when I ran. Still, I was gone maybe three hours tops, which is why I'm so concerned. Usually, there's a big party while Santa delivers presents, and the only people working are emergency support teams, and even they don't have to do much. But to come home and find the place empty with the furnace shut down..." She shuddered. "Real scary stuff. I wandered for a bit, and found the sleigh. I sat with it and waited, knowing that Santa would come. But when the alarm for the time lock went off and he hadn't, I knew something was wrong. The countdown is almost twenty minutes, so pushed the sleigh into the fireplace just before the lock engaged."

"So the whole world is frozen in time until we undo that lock?" Mike looked over at Beth. "Is it like a switch, or..."

Holly shrugged. "I don't know. I have free access over most of the Workshop, but I've never seen how Santa does it. A friend of mine might know how. He's very old and has seen pretty much everything, but we would have to find him first."

Yuki sat down on the edge of the sleigh and narrowed her eyes at Holly. "And I suppose you want us to come back and help?"

Holly shook her head. "No. Someone has to stay here and guard the sleigh. It's usually kept in a secure location until Santa puts the bag inside, only he can lift it. The sleigh was still locked up, which means whatever happened occurred right after Santa loaded the sleigh, but before he could leave. I can't think of any reason he would do that. Whatever happens, we cannot let anyone else get their hands on this sleigh."

"Why?" Lily sat on top of Santa's bag, her arm nearly elbow deep. With a grunt, she pulled out a box wrapped in red and silver ribbon and shook it next to her ear. "Afraid we'll flood the economy with shitty toys and upset the value of the dollar?"

"No." Holly climbed onto the sleigh and pulled the present out of Lily's hands. "This bag is special. If anything happens to it, then Santa can't deliver presents to children all around the world. This is his life's work, and we must preserve it."

"Um, correct me if I'm wrong, but..." Mike made a face. "I don't recall ever getting an actual present from Santa. It was usually just my mom."

The elf rolled her eyes. "Well, duh. That's how Santa's magic works! It keeps him hidden at the North Pole by changing people's memories. So when you find out that Santa isn't 'real,'" Holly held up finger quotes, "Your parents are already under the belief that they bought everything for you and Santa's secret is preserved."

"Makes sense," Mike muttered. "Always was surprised that she got me anything for Christmas, much less signed it from Santa."

"That sounds an awful lot like how the geas works." Yuki stood and looked at Holly. "Retroactively changing things to preserve the home's secret."

"That's right!" Holly stuffed the present back into the bag and pulled the drawstrings shut. "The same spell that protects Santa also protects this home. It was a gift from Santa to...to..." She scrunched up her face. "Well, to whoever built this place."

"He knew the Architect?" Mike looked at Lily, then Yuki. "That means he could tell us about who built this house!"

"Oh, fuck me." Lily rolled her eyes dramatically. Holly jumped as if burned. "As if we all don't know where this is going."