Home for Horny Monsters

Hi, all! Annabelle Hawthorne here, and I am excited to share with you the next exciting chapter in the Horny Monsters series!

New reader? Welcome! This chapter is the culmination of a book that took me roughly a year to write, which is also buoyed up by 6 other books and 3 spinoffs. I mean, you can dive right in, but you're gonna hit your face on some rocks. It is highly recommended that you jump back in time to 2017 when I wrote that very first chapter and go from there.

Returning reader? I missed you! How are things? Family good? Are you good? We've got snacks (well, if you brought them) and somewhere comfy to sit (again, if you happen to bring your own seat). I was in charge of the story, so couldn't bring snacks or chairs for everyone else.

I want to take a moment and thank all of you again for being here. I usually meet a new reader every week or so who got to binge the whole series over the course of a week or two, that lucky bastard. But for those of you who have been here since the beginning, I appreciate you showing up every time. It's always great to interact with longtime readers or see familiar usernames in the comments/feedback section.

I also want to thank everyone who takes a moment to leave stars or a kind note. I also appreciate (constructive) criticism. My whole thing is about self improvement rather than just crapping out the same thing over and over again. I absolutely promise you that you're about to see some things you've never seen before. (However, some very smart/eagle-eyed readers guessed the events of this chapter almost six months ago! 😱)

Don't forget to check my bio to see when I plan on posting future chapters. I try to schedule around life stuff, like long awaited vacations, so that we can keep things scheduled around here. The next chapter will be the end of Book 7, so we're almost there! I've already written rough drafts of the first chapters of Book 8, so there will be more adventures over the summer.

Alright friends, buckle up tight and make sure your tray tables are in the upright position. We're coming in hot and about to see Mike and his family walk the line between

Life and Death

The glass doors that led out to the patio made a soft shushing noise as they slid open, revealing a massive wraparound deck that extended over the Pacific Ocean. The waves beneath the Black Palace crashed into the concrete pillars like the steady beating of drums.

The Curator closed his eyes and inhaled the salt air, tasting it with all of his senses. Letting out a dramatic sigh, he grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and pushed his charge further out onto the deck. The man in the chair was strapped in tight to keep him from falling out. A dark mist followed them, a cloud of particulate matter composed of Amir's individual molecules being forced through the dimensional barrier to reconstruct his body.

"It's too bad you aren't cognizant enough to enjoy this." The Curator walked to the railing and lifted a pair of magical opera glasses to his eyes. By the power of thought alone, he was able to zoom in on the boats as if standing only a few feet away. Doing a quick appraisal of Captain Francois' armada, he shifted his attention toward the naval group that had formed up in a ring a few miles past them. "It isn't often that we get to be at ground zero for such well laid plans."

"My...ly." Amir's head tilted forward, revealing his exposed brain. About a month ago, his endless screaming had come to a stop, replaced by occasional vocalizations. However, he was still several months away from any sort of advanced thought. The Curator found the process extremely fascinating, especially now that the man was quiet for most of the day. If he could ask Amir what it felt like to be strained through the fabric of reality and actually receive a coherent answer, he would happily spend all day documenting the process.

"Yes, that's right, your Lily." The Curator lowered the opera glasses and frowned. "I do wish you had purchased additional real estate out here. It was interesting seeing the destruction of Paradise, but now I wish to view the coming battle on the eastern side of the mountain."

"My...ly," Amir replied.

"The sun will be up soon." The Curator grabbed one of the lounge chairs by the pool and dragged it over so that he'd have somewhere to sit. "What sort of surprises will the Caretaker show us today, do you think?" Mike Radley was either extremely resourceful or very lucky, the Curator hadn't decided which. However, nothing had been quite so surprising as that little outburst from Paradise the other day. After watching a pair of naga topple the buildings, there had been a massive surge of magical energy. The Curator had no idea what it could have been, but the fact that the sky had cracked open for just a moment so that the Others could get a better view, well...

That had been veryinteresting.

"My...ly."

"Perhaps. The succubus has been spotted here. If I thought acquiring her would ease your transition, I'd do so in a heartbeat. However, I fear that this isn't the time." He had done the math. Capturing the succubus would be a poor investment of his time and would likely cause him problems he didn't feel like dealing with.

The sliding door opened and a young woman walked out. She wore a robe that briefly opened to reveal a bikini underneath.

"Have I missed anything?" The demon Legion grabbed another deck chair and dragged it up to the railing. She leaned out over the side and dangled her arms.

"Not yet. Though you did sleep through the evacuations." The Curator had found that particular endeavor fascinating. The Caretaker's people had managed to evacuate nearly all of Lahaina, as well as some surrounding towns. Still, their time had been limited, and even now, early beachcombers could be seen below scouring the sand for shells and other treasures.

"Hardly. I may have sent a few of my meat puppets to disrupt efforts a bit." Legion set a bottle of champagne on a nearby table and went back inside the Black Palace. She came back with a pair of glasses and some orange juice. "Mimosa?"

"Please." Though the alcohol would have no effect, it was more of a celebratory gesture anyway. Legion made the mimosa and handed it over to the Curator. He sipped at the concoction, and blanched. It was much too sweet. "I believe that we had a non-interference agreement where the Caretaker and his people are concerned."

"Please. I didn't interact with anyone from his household, only the people they were trying to evacuate." Legion smirked. "And if you don't like that I found a loophole in our agreement, then you should have known better than to make a deal with a demon."

The Curator nodded. "A wise assessment."

"Anyway..." Legion made a face at him and then held up her glass. "I think a toast is in order."

"I concur." He raised his glass toward the skyline. "To the Captain, long may he sail. And to the results of well laid plans." With any luck, he would be hearing from Elizabeth soon. The anti-scrying field around the society's old underground facility had been a necessary precaution, but he hated being in the dark.

"To results." Legion clinked her glass against his and took a sip. Down below, the people on the beach screamed in horror as skeletal hordes emerged from beneath the waves, marching toward them as the sun's light kissed the ocean.

Behind them, Amir called out once more for his lost succubus.

🏝️🏝️🏝️

Beth stood near the edge of the pebble beach of Lelekea Bay, her eyes on the ships silhouetted on the horizon by the rising sun. The ocean currents out here were strong, but that hadn't stopped the dead. There was an eerie stretch of completely calm water that extended out to sea for several miles where it terminated amongst the many ships that circled each other. The merfolk had been unable to disrupt the Captain's magic here and had been sent to ply their talents elsewhere.

Across the island, the best areas for the dead to beach had been identified. The merfolk had sent their best magic users to create brutal riptides and slamming waves to destroy the invaders before they could reach the safety of land. This would slow them down, but it would not stop them. At some point, the dead would either start climbing cliffs to reach land or simply risk being destroyed. The merfolk couldn't cover everywhere. There simply weren't enough of them to make Maui inaccessible.

Leilani let out a contented sigh from her spot on a nearby rock. Between the two of them was a massive wooden crate that had been bolted shut. The word Fragile had been hastily written on the side.

"You get the feeling back in your legs yet?" Beth smirked in the mermaid's direction.

Princess Leilani chuckled. "Perhaps. I didn't quite expect to be used so...extensively. My stomach muscles are sore."

Beth laughed again. Standing on the brink of war, it was either that or start crying.

"I must admit I was surprised to see the two of you together. I felt like an amateur." Leilani fingered the filigree on the shaft of her trident. "I honestly wondered if you might burst."

"I've had a bit of practice at it." Beth could feel her cheeks burning. While she hadn't been shy in the moment, thinking back on everyone else watching her was a little mortifying. She gazed out toward the Northeast at the aircraft carrier that was stationed there. Dozens of support craft milled around at its base. "Do you think those guys are gonna get involved or continue being useless?"

"Once they see the truth of things, all will change." Leilani turned her attention to the small hut that had been hastily erected in the early morning. It contained a portal to higher ground in case the two of them needed to escape. "What are the odds that Plan A works?"

Beth looked at the crate again. Inside was a tracking device along with a bomb that Tink had assembled last night from parts Eulalie had supplied. The goblin had been pissed to learn that she had been left out of the festivities last night, but happy to hear that the process had restored Mike's spirit.

It hadn't just been his spirit, either. The last time Beth had seen Mike, he had been carefully going over last-minute plans with Quetzalli and Di. His magic was so strong this morning that Di had smelled it from a distance. Beth wasn't entirely certain what that meant, but even now, with him somewhere up the mountain, she could feel his presence in the back of her mind. Through these most recent trials, he had yet again come out the other side stronger.

As for herself? Beth intended to catch up. She touched the Rod of Osiris tucked into the holster strapped to her thigh. Aurora had given the holster to her as a gift before leaving to help over at Lahaina. Based on undead distribution, the west side of the island was one of the primary targets of Francois' wrath. That meant the Order, along with Yuki and some of the others, were stationed over there.

Somewhere up above, Tink was watching them through the scope of the monstrous weapon she had created. Beth had no idea where the goblin had found the time to modify a sniper rifle, but the thing was now mounted to a massive tree uphill with a series of counterweights and hydraulics that allowed the goblin to maneuver and aim the thing. Considering it now had a barrel length of nearly five feet, Beth was fairly certain the goblin could hit whatever she desired.

Out in the bay, the water dipped to reveal a legion of skeletons. They marched forward as one, their weapons clutched tightly to their chests. An aqueous simulacrum of Captain Francois led them, a twisted sneer fixed on his face.

"Is this it, then? Has the Caretaker finally seen reason?" The elemental gestured toward the crate.

"He wanted you to have this." Beth patted the box. "So that we may end this battle before somebody gets hurt."

Francois laughed, which came out as a gurgling sound. "People have already been hurt," he said, gesturing toward the other side of the island. "I admit that your plan to evacuate people was a truly impressive feat, but I knew that you would ultimately fail. How many did you even manage to get to safety?"

Beth scowled. The night had been long, and even though the evacuations had gone smoothly at first, they had underestimated how many people would simply ignore all the warnings. People staying in independent lodgings had argued with Order personnel, and even though Dana and Asterion had gotten into a few fistfights, there had been plenty of people who had simply ignored orders to leave their rooms. At least one hotel lobby in Lahaina was packed with people who firmly believed the Order was part of some mysterious government coup, and had barricaded themselves inside.

"It could have gone better," she admitted with a shrug. In all honesty, what they had accomplished in twelve hours was nothing short of miraculous. But it was hard to celebrate such success when their failures would be measured in lives lost. "So perhaps you understand why we've chosen this instead."

Beth didn't dare lie to Francois. There was no way of knowing if he could tell truths from falsehoods. If they were lucky, his greed would cause him to take the fake eggs back to his ship and Tink could blow him to hell. However, the fact that he had summoned and sent a magical avatar of himself indicated that he was far too cautious to fall for such a ploy.

The man grinned, then shook his head. "You must take me for a fool," he declared, then raised a hand. Behind him, the water shifted, briefly revealing hundreds of dead bodies, just waiting for their orders. Beth looked over her shoulder at the small hut and knew she was probably going to need it soon.

"Now why would you say such a thing?" asked Leilani, her hands tightening on the shaft of her trident.

"I am centuries old. I recognize a trojan horse when I see one." He gave the crate a kick. "My guardian tells me that he cannot sense their power." Out in the bay, several ships shifted away from each other on mysterious swells, giving Beth a clear view of the sea beyond. "The Caretaker has revealed his hand as both a traitor and a coward. He even sent a woman to do a man's job. If given the chance, I intend to drown him at sea just so I can make his corpse clean the toilets on my ship with his hands for all eternity."

He held up his aquatic fingers and snapped. The skeletons at his side rushed forward, only to sink waist deep into the gravel. The undead thrashed as they sank, then tried using their weapons as tools to dig themselves free.

"A clever parlor trick," Francois muttered.

"I'm glad you approve." Beth raised the glowing Rod of Osiris, power thrumming through her fingertips as she made the water beneath the ground churn. It had been an impromptu lesson from Ratu on the shores of Paradise, the two of them facing down a similar horde.

"For me, it's not about sensing where the rocks are," Ratu had told her as a whirlpool formed in the sand. "But rather, where they aren't. By knowing this, I can demand they move accordingly, thus chewing my enemies to pieces. It's hard to move when the ground beneath your very feet betrays you."

It was a similar process, only this time Beth had pulled in the ocean's water to saturate the ground to the point of instability. Truthfully, if she hadn't spent so much time worrying about quicksand in her own youth, this idea never would have occurred to her. It had been tricky to accomplish with gravel, but it was still effective.

"When I kill you, I'll try not to ruin your face." Francois walked backward toward the waves. "I wouldn't mind gazing upon it during those long, lonely nights at sea." Nearly a mile out, something large had started to breach the water, causing the remaining ships to tilt away from it.

"You speak as if you've won already." Leilani readied her trident and moved by Beth's side.

"Oh, but I have." Francois looked over his shoulder at the two of them. "Ever since his mate was killed centuries ago, he's been in quite the foul mood. It's entirely possible I may have insinuated that the Caretaker bears some responsibility for this. It is rather a simple beast, you see."

Beth didn't respond. She was too busy watching the massive being that rose from the depths, revealing an elongated snout filled with teeth the size of cars. The creature didn't have arms or fins, but it did have at least six tentacles attached to the trunk of its body. In the distance, alarms were being sounded from the aircraft carrier.

When she thought the beast was done, it rose even farther. It was far enough out to sea that it was hard to tell how tall it was, but she knew for a fact that it was bigger than any cruise ship she had ever seen in the bay. The creature opened its mouth and let out a shriek that caused Beth and Leilani both to clutch at their ears in pain.

"The kraken cries for your blood. If you can, run. He likes the thrill of the chase." Francois tipped his hat and turned back into water, and that's when the hordes in the bay charged forward.

Grinding her teeth, Beth tried to ignore the ringing in her ears as she raised the Rod of Osiris toward the approaching hordes. The skeletons charged forward, slowed only by the sudden riptide that Beth had summoned.

"We need to go," Leilani shouted, blood running down from her ears.

"Not yet," Beth replied, walking backward towards the hut. The glowing Rod in her hand was singing now, helping her manipulate the water in the bay. Though she couldn't see it, Beth could feel the water resist as she took hold of a sphere of it roughly ten feet across. Straining with effort, she felt where the water wasn't, which was all of the tiny little air bubbles trapped inside.

"Beth!" Leilani used her trident to smash a skeleton into the ground. It fought to get back up until she pierced its skull.

"GAH!" Beth forced all of the air into the center of the sphere, compressing it into a tiny space. Her ears were still ringing from the kraken's cry, but she could hear her heart pounding. Even with the rising sun, the glowing orb of compressed air was visible beneath the waves, just above the skeletal beings that walked the sea floor. With so much pressure built into such a tiny space, Beth's magic was strained to its limits.

Overhead, a pair of jets did a flyby of the kraken. It whipped a pair of tentacles out at incredible speed, just missing both of them. Beth ignored the distraction, her full concentration on the spell she had created. When the time felt right, she released the sphere, allowing the air to rapidly expand. Tink had described the idea to her in detail, and Beth wondered if this had even been worth her time and effort.

The surface of the water exploded in a violent spray. Beneath the water, a shockwave demolished the undead, busting them apart into useless fragments. Sadly, the skeletons already on the beach were unaffected, so Beth raised the Rod and used her command of the water to create a pair of tendrils that reached out to pull them back into the crashing waves.

"BETH!" Leilani speared a corpse wearing a button-up with pineapples all along the front, then used him as a projectile to knock down a skeleton in board shorts. "We have to go!"

Disgruntled, Beth turned and ran into the hut. Leilani was right behind her, the mermaid yanking the door shut and sliding the bolt across. They dove through the portal together just as the skeletons reached the building, their bony claws beating at the exterior walls. It didn't take long before they toppled the structure, causing the portal to collapse.

They were now about a half a mile uphill, standing just outside a hastily constructed building that looked like an outhouse. Down below, the bay was overrun with corpses as they scrambled up onto the rocks. There was clearly some confusion among the dead who had toppled the hut as they dug through the rubble, looking for their prey.